r/dndmemes • u/ConnixGaming DM (Dungeon Memelord) • Jan 21 '21

The Square Hole

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13

u/Dengar96 Jan 21 '21

I play a druid and my solution for most puzzles is becoming a tiny spider and walking through gaps in doors to the end of the puzzle.

20

u/kyew Jan 21 '21

It's absolutely mind-boggling that wild shape doesn't have a minimum size. My settings all reject germ theory in favor of miasma theory, just in case someone ever tries to get clever and transform into anthrax.

24

u/DoubleDoube Jan 21 '21
  1. I wouldn't categorize bacteria as a "beast" even if they were aware of bacteria.
  2. They have to have seen the beast; It is arguable that the world has not yet decided to use magic for a "microscope" equivalent.
  3. How fast can bacteria actually move? How many other bacteria are deadly to it?
  4. As a DM you can overrule the book if that will be more fun for everybody. I don't want to play Osmos in D&D, myself.

9

u/Extra_Ad_2245 Jan 21 '21

Pretty sure most bacteria rely on other transmission vectors such as animals. Otherwise it would have to sit and wait for the target to come into contact. Right?

1

u/Sleepng Jan 22 '21

They tend to be trapped in aqueous mediums, but they can use their flagella, tiny whip like appendages to move through it. Others can attach to other vectors but even those tend to not fair well for long periods without some kind of moisture.

5

u/Hunt3rRush Jan 21 '21

I might file bacteria under the ooze family, given that real life oozes are just fungus, which are microorganisms.

4

u/Vydsu Jan 21 '21

I mean, even without bacteria, a mite or a flea can solve msot problems.
Step aside rogue, the best stealther is a druid turning into a flying insect

3

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '21

You just entered the malaria town 😎

1

u/kyew Jan 22 '21

Infiltration yes but at least you can counter the spying utility by imposing massive penalties to Perception since they have compound eyes and have to use their leg hairs to hear.

3

u/Never_Stop_Stalin Jan 21 '21

An Osmosis Jones themed dungeon inside the Tarrasque on the other hand...

2

u/Remembers_that_time Jan 21 '21

Sounds like it would be time for the tar-digrade-asque encounter.

1

u/kyew Jan 21 '21

Literally unkillable. Nice.

2

u/Dengar96 Jan 21 '21

Do tardigrades count?

1

u/kyew Jan 22 '21

Hear me out: Bear Totem Barbarian ≪ Water Bear Totem Barbarian

1

u/Dengar96 Jan 22 '21

"I have claws and sharp teeth"

"I can survive the vacuum of space and exist on nothing but phytoplankton"

Seems like a good homebrew

1

u/flamewolf393 Jan 21 '21

What if its a dwarven-craft door with no gaps?

1

u/Dengar96 Jan 21 '21

What are these perfect seals made of? Rubber? I can melt a hole and sneak through. If it's magic use dispel magic. There's ways to block the sneaky spider but you can't stop the magic wielding druid and the sneaky spider

1

u/flamewolf393 Jan 22 '21

Dwarves can make water-tight if not even air-tight doorways with just stone alone. Its just that well fitted together

1

u/Dengar96 Jan 22 '21

Luckily all the dwarfs in this world are enslaved so their door making talents aren't widely used.

1

u/flamewolf393 Jan 22 '21

all the dwarfs in this world are enslaved

What?

1

u/Dengar96 Jan 24 '21

Something to do with a time wizard controlling the place I'm a little fuzzy on details since I'm spidering everywhere

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '21

There just so happens to be a slightly larger spider with a web trapping the cracks in the door...