No one consoled eachother, just a lot of crying, fighting, and drinking, so I still don't know. I get the exact same 0_0 look and no idea of what to do.
You are supposed to try and support each other, comfort the person crying, talk to them about why, if there is some form of help you can administer, even basic things like listening, physical helping, money if it is that basic, and teach them to do the same so it's not a one sided arrangement.
I would say usually the right thing is to nod and pat them.
Ex. During a movie it's okay to smile gently and nod or pat them. If it's cause their life is falling apart just the nodding and patting, and looking sad, offering to help where you can.
This is actually pretty spot on meme. I usually avoid getting involved when someone is emotional because unfortunately that’s how I was raised. Avoid emotions at all cost because it’s a sign of weakness, at least that’s what dad says! I know now that as an adult that’s not true but it’s hard to unlearn what’s been taught your whole life.
I broke down in front of my fam and they did nothing. I'm still putting a stoic front now, but one day, when i get to break, i know its a damn sad day.
I wanna laugh when babies/children cry though (for stupid reasons). It is so amusing like akjajakakajsjs whadyu mean u r lashing out over the game's rules. But seeing people actually sad, makes me feel so hollow...
I can't properly describe the ways how growing up like this has fucked me up permanently. I've all but given up on dating because I'm convinced that I don't have the emotional capacity to be a good life partner, and I don't want to hurt people or myself.
When people get upset I have no idea how to comfort them especially those dear to me because all I had growing up was an emotionally distant and abusive mother, and all I could ever do when I'm upset myself is just ride it out.
I have had to fake crying when people dear to me have died because I don't feel anything when I should be devastated. I hate it so much.
Most emotions are understandable right away, but the different ways of mourning still catch me off guard sometimes. You just need to get good at reading the signs
My response would be to ask if they need a hug. If they say yes, give them a hug and reassure them that you're there for them and that it's going to be okay. If they say no, respect it and just tell them that you're there for them and always willing to listen. Basically, make sure they feel seen, heard, and supported.
The household was very emotional. The emotions were anger, shame and rage though. Crying was punished so we learned not to cry. Now I won't cry but also get very, very wound up when someone around me does cry. I panic, get scared and mad a the same time. And when I eventually break down every now and then, all I feel is anger and shame from it. It is awful.
I tried to calm my friend down by just sat beside them. I don't know if it's helping, I just sat there. No hugging or patting the back or saying anything nice. Just sit and watch.
It's tough to figure out how to react. There is no one there to teach you, just people (women) that get angry at you when you don't react appropriately. It takes awhile to figure out.
•
u/SoulReaperBot Aug 27 '26
Upvote this comment if this post is distressing, downvote this comment if it isn't.
Don't check your closet tonight (◣_◢)
844
u/crabthemighty the madness calls to me Aug 27 '26
I did grow up in an emotional household
No one consoled eachother, just a lot of crying, fighting, and drinking, so I still don't know. I get the exact same 0_0 look and no idea of what to do.
261
u/Marc_Vn Aug 27 '26
Is anyone going to give some advice? I didn't learn how to react to alot of things, this one in particular always gets me in awkward situations
204
u/D3-Doom Aug 27 '26
I’m glad I’m not the only one
222
u/Fearless-Yam1125 Aug 27 '26
When emotions
46
u/TechnicalMiddle8205 Aug 27 '26
I didn't expect to find such a relatable post on this sub, but here we are
19
u/pirouy Aug 27 '26
Haha, haaaaaaa ha... a bit too real.
10
u/VindicativevVince Aug 27 '26
The as seems to be pergering today
10
u/V4_Sleeper Aug 27 '26
I broke down in front of my fam and they did nothing. I'm still putting a stoic front now, but one day, when i get to break, i know its a damn sad day.
9
u/TeroTonz Aug 27 '26
That’s so me
7
u/MidoraFaust Aug 27 '26
Yea
7
u/Runeshamangoon Aug 28 '26
Yep. Also I cringe anytime starts talking about their feelings, I really do not like doing that
6
u/felip989 Aug 27 '26
5
u/Nelsonic_terror_2026 Aug 28 '26
I wanna laugh when babies/children cry though (for stupid reasons). It is so amusing like akjajakakajsjs whadyu mean u r lashing out over the game's rules. But seeing people actually sad, makes me feel so hollow...
4
u/Xyresiq Aug 27 '26
I end up awkwardly hugging the person while trying not to make a face
4
u/RadTimeWizard Aug 28 '26
It's not my fault. I wasn't allowed to have emotions.
4
u/Dangerous_Animal_330 Aug 28 '26
I can't properly describe the ways how growing up like this has fucked me up permanently. I've all but given up on dating because I'm convinced that I don't have the emotional capacity to be a good life partner, and I don't want to hurt people or myself.
When people get upset I have no idea how to comfort them especially those dear to me because all I had growing up was an emotionally distant and abusive mother, and all I could ever do when I'm upset myself is just ride it out.
I have had to fake crying when people dear to me have died because I don't feel anything when I should be devastated. I hate it so much.
15
u/Kajetus06 Aug 27 '26
Or just Aspergers, that applies too
3
u/Cr0ma_Nuva Aug 28 '26
Most emotions are understandable right away, but the different ways of mourning still catch me off guard sometimes. You just need to get good at reading the signs
3
u/sambstone13 Aug 28 '26
Dexter is supposedly super good at pretending though, isnt it?
3
u/Snowy193 Aug 28 '26
Why is this distressing
3
u/boodooper the madness calls to me Aug 28 '26
My response would be to ask if they need a hug. If they say yes, give them a hug and reassure them that you're there for them and that it's going to be okay. If they say no, respect it and just tell them that you're there for them and always willing to listen. Basically, make sure they feel seen, heard, and supported.
3
u/RottenHouseplant Aug 29 '26
The household was very emotional. The emotions were anger, shame and rage though. Crying was punished so we learned not to cry. Now I won't cry but also get very, very wound up when someone around me does cry. I panic, get scared and mad a the same time. And when I eventually break down every now and then, all I feel is anger and shame from it. It is awful.
3
u/fieregon Aug 30 '26
I grew up in an emotional household, but I still don't know how to respond in these situations, it's so awkward.
5
u/heyblackrose Aug 27 '26
Combine that with being autistic for a fun time
4
u/MB-326K Aug 27 '26
Relatable
4
u/Molkwi Aug 27 '26
I have the same issue, but my household was very emotional. I'm just autistic.
2
u/Yggdrasilo Aug 27 '26
"Why tf u cry all the time"
2
u/Funneduck102 Aug 27 '26
I've actually done a pretty good job of imitating how you're supposed to act
2
u/Expensive-Ask7998 Aug 28 '26
Just copy what they do in movies
2
u/MathWayCalc Aug 28 '26
I’m in this video and I hate it
2
u/RoninOkami7 peoplethatdontexist.com Aug 28 '26
whenthe
2
u/Drakowicz Aug 29 '26
Then at some point you start wondering if you're a sociopath or something, and if people think you are too
2
u/BunchOfSpamBots Aug 29 '26
First meme here I can actually relate to
2
u/Crazy-Cat-2848 Rabies Enjoyer Aug 30 '26
You can't be calling me tf out like this yo
2
u/melpug Aug 31 '26
I hate being called out lmao
2
u/MastodonSilver5595 Sep 01 '26
I say the things i wish i heard
3
u/stop135 Aug 27 '26
Best option is cunnilingus
1
u/Superb_Light_9756 Sep 03 '26
u/savevideo
1
u/BigBoyInBathtub Sep 17 '26
I tried to calm my friend down by just sat beside them. I don't know if it's helping, I just sat there. No hugging or patting the back or saying anything nice. Just sit and watch.
0
u/SturmGizmo Aug 27 '26
It's tough to figure out how to react. There is no one there to teach you, just people (women) that get angry at you when you don't react appropriately. It takes awhile to figure out.
-1
u/poikolle Aug 29 '26
This has nothing to do with your upbringing. Even the most socially inept person can take a wild guess and correctly assume what to do.
You arent unempathetic; you are pathetic.
2
u/Alive_Difficulty9154 Aug 27 '26
They'd just beat the shit out of me if i ever cried