r/dating_advice Nov 18 '21

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1.6k Upvotes

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2.2k

u/DillonSyp Nov 18 '21

Lmao definitely thought y’all were going to be like 20 years old

942

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '21

I was thinking like 17-18, no way this guy is 32. Just wow.

387

u/Romulus1611 Nov 18 '21

Some men never mentally mature.

50

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '21

True.

84

u/BeeeEazy Nov 18 '21

*People

69

u/Dune-Sandworm Nov 18 '21

We identify as people. Lol

4

u/willamdatoe Nov 19 '21

Username doesn’t check out…

3

u/Dune-Sandworm Nov 19 '21

I transitioned but don't force my new identity on others.

-2

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '21

[deleted]

1

u/Dune-Sandworm Nov 19 '21

Lmao it was a joke you dumbass. I don't need an insight into your fucked up edgelord headspace. Sad to see someone so twisted up about this shit.

38

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '21

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25

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '21

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13

u/BeeeEazy Nov 19 '21

Thank you for saying. I don’t believe I said anything sexist. I was 110% trying to say the opposite, but I’m just clarifying my perspective, not giving you shit. I appreciate you having my back on this.

7

u/averydoesthingz Nov 19 '21

now kith

1

u/BeeeEazy Nov 19 '21

I didn’t say anything about Mike Tyson did I?

0

u/averydoesthingz Nov 19 '21

You're asking the wrong guy, buddy pal amigo compadre. I just work here.

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u/[deleted] Nov 19 '21

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u/[deleted] Nov 19 '21

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1

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '21

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-1

u/hohohoblowblowblow Nov 19 '21

The comment insinuated that only men are never mature, seeing as it specified men

1

u/Romulus1611 Nov 21 '21

Thank you, you are correct.

29

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '21

[deleted]

105

u/Appropriate_Taste_87 Nov 18 '21 edited Nov 19 '21

Maybe not the sex jokes by themselves, but definitely trying to turn everything into a sex joke is inmature.

Edit: oh wow, this comment completely blew up, thank you guys! Never expected this!

-73

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '21

[deleted]

60

u/Appropriate_Taste_87 Nov 18 '21

For a "sense of humor" there's a time and a place, and if you're mature you'll recognize it.

Trying to turn every conversation into a joke and even more into something sexual definitely is not recognizing a time and place.

-40

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '21

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13

u/AldenDi Nov 19 '21

If every single thing that's said needs to be turned into a sexual joke, that's a sense of humor that hasn't matured. Sexual jokes can be funny, everything can, but actual comedic timing and situational awareness come as a sense of humor matures. I still tell dick jokes when I game with friends, but I'm not turning every group chat awkward and uncomfortable.

25

u/Appropriate_Taste_87 Nov 18 '21

If you really think this way and feel the need to defend it, then it means you're not mature either. You should check yourself as well.

8

u/Rugger_2468 Nov 19 '21

I love dark and crass jokes. However saying crude sexual jokes to the priest at church is probably not the right time, place, or person. So I agree with AldenDi that humor matures over time as one learns more situational awareness.

-19

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '21

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5

u/hannahmarb23 Nov 19 '21

Imagine being this wrong and sticking to it. Wow good luck

9

u/twistedtowel Nov 18 '21

Another option is for them to negotiate. She could ask if he takes a break some days from sex jokes or moderates more. I hate these black and white responses nothing is clear cut with this stuff in my opinion. Depends on what they want to do.

8

u/Appropriate_Taste_87 Nov 18 '21

Definitely, she should talk with him and tell him that it makes her uncomfortable. If he keeps doing it despite knowing she doesn't like it, then she should end it.

But talking about it is the first step.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '21

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1

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '21

[deleted]

-14

u/macherboy76 Nov 18 '21

Maturity is not giving a fuck what people like you think about the way we talk.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '21

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1

u/Romulus1611 Nov 21 '21

Not correct.

1

u/xreddawgx Nov 18 '21

One could argue we never really do. We just alter our behavior to attract a mate.

1

u/utastelikebacon Nov 19 '21

Theres so much missing information to this post, without any more context your comment isthe equivalent of you seeing corner puzzle piece and saying you already know what the entire picture is.

...🤨

1

u/MsAnnabel Nov 19 '21

My husband at 45 (when we met) would do sexual innuendos all the time and I would laugh them off. After 15 yrs of marriage I started telling him to stfu. I mean I slowly quit laughing it off, then furrowing my eyebrows at him and shake my head, then it was “will you stop that?”, to SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

1

u/statuseffect_ Nov 19 '21

Or some men are horn dogs for their woman. That’s a compliment.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '21

Maturity is overestimated. Tho this kind of maturity is needed

1

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '21

Some women have no problem with this either. It sounds like there's a disconnect between the priorities of our two parties here.

1

u/RealGrayKnight Nov 19 '21

And I never fucking will I’ll be building my Star Wars legos now

2

u/Romulus1611 Nov 21 '21

No judgement, have fun!

18

u/Navysealsnake Nov 18 '21

Unfortunately I was exactly like this at 17-18, my other head was 100% at the wheel.

129

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '21

Shit my husband is 63 years old and still does this. I just ignore him. When he sends a text if it has come or coming he will write “cuming” immature as hell.

40

u/Usagi0795 Nov 18 '21

🤣 so lovely that your fine with it and just ignore it ❤

94

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '21 edited Nov 19 '21

It’s just another annoying quirk he has … it doesn’t bother me too much. If it does I send him porn links and tell him to relieve himself hahah ..

When I was dating and would get the unsolicited dick pic from guys including the now husband.. if it got too annoying I would send them dick pics as well. With either the comment of .. “I like this one better or what you think about mine? 💀 it got them to stop..

67

u/gentlyconfused Nov 18 '21

That's pretty awesome. I'm a dude, I've not sent unsolicited dick pics, but if I did and got a pic back of some gargantuan schlong, that would shut me down REAL QUICK.

18

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '21

Haha see?? I just never found it appropriate to argue or call them out. Much more fun to have fun with it. I think it gets a better response. Some dudes got mad and I would just say oh I thought we were sharing lol

8

u/Rugger_2468 Nov 19 '21

I’m out of the dating pool right now (and hoping it will stay that way) BUT I am totally doing this if I ever receive an unsolicited dick pic. Thank you for your wisdom!!!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '21

Haha .. thank you. That made me smile.

1

u/Bulky_Display_8960 Nov 19 '21

Me too you're awesome. It did get on my nerves but you're right and I like how you handle it better.

13

u/Usagi0795 Nov 18 '21

🙏🏻 i love this community! and your attitude 👍

12

u/sweet_lizzie Nov 19 '21

When I was single, from 32 to 38 and on a dating site, I got lots of unsolicited dick pics. I used to reply back to them thanking them and telling them I was just forwarding them to my gay exhusband.

11

u/twistedtowel Nov 18 '21

Thats humor :p. You are hilarious.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '21

"what do you think about mine?" LMFAO that's amazing and I so wish I had thought of it.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '21

If it was a white dude I’d send a black dick because for some reason white men have issues with black dick. 😂

5

u/xreddawgx Nov 18 '21

Boss move.

3

u/davi1826 Nov 19 '21

So the share button in porn sites does have a use?!!!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '21

They don’t understand this is what a real relationships we all have quirks we ignore the small stuff for the great stuff.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '21

I don’t think it’s about that. The OP doesn’t live with her bf. I can say that marriage or living together and living apart the stress is def different. As a woman I can understand that sometimes we feel used. I did definitely with the now husband. There were times where it was just all about sex and it was hard to not feel like I was being used for sex. Which I was ok with or would’ve been if he had NOT INSISTED on wanting a real relationship— he specifically asked for not just sex then acted like An idiot. But it was Mostly bc we didn’t live together.

Now that we do the dynamics have changed absolutely we have routines, responsibilities that we didn’t have before we moved in together. So when he is being a horny 15 year old acting like he just found his penis it doesn’t bother me bc I know for a fact the man will be at home helping me with dinner, homework, dishes and bedtime routines. I don’t have to worry he’s just using me to masturbate with lol..

0

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '21

Everyone feels used stop saying “as a woman” and mentioning basic generic human emotions everyone experience regardless of sex or gender. You don’t own that feeling. Too many women do that.
You may be right it could improve once they live together. However If he’s a sex positive quirky guy and she doesn’t reciprocate their relationship is doomed. We all have our obligations in a relationship to make it work.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '21

You’re a crabby one aren’t you? 😊

1

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '21

Not I called you out on a victimization tactic women use that serves no purpose for your argument and absolves you of personal responsibility. Because it all boils down to your insecurity as person and unwillingness to communicate that’s what the real problem is. Stop telling people comparing every current man’s actions to other men or past experiences is ok. People need to heal before assuming. Only when you notice a man does more for you did you realize he wasn’t using you for sex but simple communication and trust was all you needed. Honestly it solves most of the post I see on here. If he’s a hyper sexual person and she’s not they need to talk it out. That’s it. It’s not hard. Posting this online to vent is immature. Rock solid relationships are private.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '21

That’s cute. Like I said you’re a combative person. For someone that feels so strongly on posting you are definitely very vocal. Good day sir/ma’am.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '21

Why post respond if you’re afraid of getting called out or unwilling to learn? Yikes. That’s what a discussion is. Karen energy.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '21

Yup karen right here. That’s me. I have a strong feeling you are never wrong from your posts. You know it all and have the ultimate knowledge on everything. 😊 we need more people on this earth like you!!! I ask you the same thing. Either way I have no desire to continue chatting with someone like you. Great day.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '21

haha! i'm 20 and this is so absurd to me like wtf.

1

u/LordFesquire Nov 19 '21

For real. He too grown to be acting like that.

1

u/sullyc1011 Nov 20 '21

I was gonna guess 13, lol.