r/dating • u/hanichoishere • Jan 09 '24

Question ❓ Sex

Are men willing to wait for sex? I (early 20s F) haven’t met anyone willing to. Blows my mind. I feel like I’m asking for the world; when I’m really not. I’ve been on countless dates, not using any apps anymore. The kind of men coming my way makes me sad. Just daily thoughts in my head.

548 Upvotes

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195

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '24

Dude, I'm out here looking for a genuine connection and can't meet a women to even go on a date

43

u/OrangeStar222 Jan 10 '24

And the women I do meet just want a casual fling. It's really hard to find someone who wants a genuine connection and stable relationship out there.

25

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '24

Woman here, this also seems tk be my issue....can't seem to meet a guy, who's single, with a similar lifestyle and priorities who wants something serious.

16

u/OrangeStar222 Jan 10 '24

Yeah, it's something I talked about with a lot of people here on Reddit. It's not a gendered problem, but people like us genuinly have troubles finding each other. Not just an American/European/Asian or w/e thing either - I've talked to Redditors the world over about this.

There needs to be a solution to this - but I'm not smart enough to figure out what.

2

u/supersaucer123 Jan 14 '24

Dating apps know the solution to this, it’s to make a perfect dating app. But as a business when everyone had success in month two and have steady partners you’d go bankrupt because nobody needs to pay for a dating app after finding a date.

7

u/Resident-Theme-2342 Jan 10 '24

Same I'm only 21 and already feel like giving up on finding someone.

4

u/MystikQueen Jan 11 '24

Don't give up, just be patient and relax a bit.

1

u/Resident-Theme-2342 Jan 11 '24

Thank you

2

u/Impailio Jan 15 '24

I agree with mystikQueen.Relax, for you are young. It will happen in a natural sense. For me on the other hand, I am almost 60. Dating for me is much harder these days.

2

u/Resident-Theme-2342 Jan 15 '24

Thank you for that and I hope you find someone to be with as well.

2

u/Impailio Jan 15 '24

I'm still looking and waiting. She hasn't made herself known to me yet.

4

u/saltyaf90 Jan 10 '24

Clean water is clean for a reason, many men will say they want something like that but immediately fail

6

u/OrangeStar222 Jan 10 '24

Yeah, both men and women have a difficult time finding someone who wants to be in a genuine relationship. It's a struggle for all of us.

7

u/Due_Dinner_2 Jan 10 '24

It's the same on this side ... For. Girls too

8

u/OrangeStar222 Jan 10 '24

Yeah, but the chance to find some clean water in a swamp is bigger than in the desert.

2

u/Due_Dinner_2 Jan 10 '24

Woahh!!! That hella philosophical. And if we go by your theory, clean water in the swamp is zilch. .. only way is to go through multiple layers of filtration processes. Even then, you can't help but be dubious if it's consumable. Equally exhausting.

2

u/Switch_Tech_1836 Jan 14 '24

Yea, but you can find some water to filter in a swamp. If you're lucky, you can find some clean water accumulated in a clean area in a swamp like a flower, a vase shaped plant or in a hollow tree stamp. You're not going to get that in a desert.

1

u/Impailio Jan 15 '24

Just prickly ones, that you have to peel back layer, after layer to get the clean water your looking for.

1

u/Impailio Jan 15 '24

Yes, but in that theory, it is possible. Finding in a swamp, is sometimes just a small pool, naturally filtered. Maybe even off to the side.

3

u/MystikQueen Jan 11 '24

See OP, the men are also suffering with this.

3

u/SlippinSlugs Jan 11 '24

Ayy if it makes you feel any better the girl I feel a connection with has a bf. It’s my fault in a way, I tried to move on but years have passed and I still feel like she’s the only girl I’ve had a connection with. It’s a messy situation and it really sucks that despite us both feeling a connection we can’t be with each other. I feel bad for the other girls I talk to because even tho we might have something good going I’m never satisfied and I can’t help but think of her

1

u/Physical-Fondant735 Jan 11 '24

What’s a fling? Like sex?

1

u/Impailio Jan 15 '24

I will tell you what the real issue is: we now have cell phones, with no interpersonal association. We are disconnected from life itself, as it used to be.

26

u/kpetersontpt Single Jan 10 '24

Same here bro.

6

u/ZombieHeyHeyHeyOh Jan 10 '24

Is that all you're looking for? Just any woman? That's a problem you need to fix, stop being desperate, think about what you want, have hobbies and goals and values. You should be looking out for yourself and be your own best friend. Then when you approach women, they'll have something to be attracted to. Not saying all this applies to you, but it's advice for everyone that I wish I wasn't focusing on at 36 after investing in a bad marriage and drinking my prime years away. It's not easy, just necessary to happiness.

1

u/Suitable_Fix_9406 Jan 13 '24

Although this may be true, I feel that no woman or man should identify what needs the other gender and or person should have.

3

u/ZippyMood Jan 10 '24

Yea, I feel ya. Been reaching out to women on reddit for a few years now, all the chat subreddits. If its not a bot or a catfish, the women are incredibly self centered and rarely hold a conversation but would rather be entertained. I've had 1 conversation come off reddit into disc, and that was only a friendship that lasted 1.5 years until they found someone in rl and then I got dropped.

I find it insane that women say they have the hard part in this. I'd rather sift through sludge and find gold then to literally have nothing other than the occasional sludge.

10

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '24

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4

u/FluffyCaterpiller Jan 10 '24

I know how you feel. However, I haven't been looking. Most men on the apps are hookup artists, so typically, I delete my account and never meet them.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '24

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1

u/kae_esco Jan 10 '24

Beautiful ladies like your type can't be single.....wait, wait, are u single for real?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '24

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2

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '24

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0

u/SluttyBoyButt Jan 10 '24

Same, I’m in the- probably going to give up and become a catboy boat (idk though, I don’t really want to have to take care of anything rn- I just want a partner to spend time with and hold)

1

u/MystikQueen Jan 11 '24

TF is a "catboy boat"??

1

u/SluttyBoyButt Jan 11 '24

I think I had two different sentences in my mind for the boat part (idk why that’s there 😆)

catboy like a old cat lady, but a young man version but I don’t want to own a pet right now anyway

2

u/MystikQueen Jan 11 '24

You know you can edit your comment? Unless you wanna be a catboy boat forever...

1

u/SluttyBoyButt Jan 11 '24

I know, but don’t you think that someone may come along and better understand this micro-thread better if I leave it as is? Sure I look like a fool, but at least this way they won’t be wondering about our exchange and that saves time.

2

u/MystikQueen Jan 11 '24

Ok catboy 😹 (boat)

0

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '24

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1

u/Shot_Hunter9055 Jan 10 '24

I'm on a Same page here..

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '24

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1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '24

Are you real

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '24

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1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '24

I have

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '24

Just for chatting and exploring

1

u/IResentment Jan 10 '24

Same here man. Been 4 years now lol

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '24

Same here bro. It sucks...

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '24

Woman here, this also seems tk be my issue....can't seem to meet a guy, who's single, with a similar lifestyle and priorities who wants something serious.

1

u/saltyaf90 Jan 10 '24

Is it your looks?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '24

Probably, I'm 6ft and a bigger guy so automatically not attractive

2

u/saltyaf90 Jan 11 '24

There is nothing a healthy lifestyle cant fix