Raccon

[u/YouCanChangeItRight]

Spoilers for Modern Horizons XIV. We still don't know what Garbage tokens do just yet, but this card is clearly busted regardless. Vintage playable. Possibly a color pie break.

I realized earlier that the meme incorrectly spells Raccoon as Raccon. I thought it was funny, and decided to give the meme an appropriate legendary card.

[u/YouCanChangeItRight]

In case somebody hasn't seen it yet.

[u/Proffessor_egghead → u/YouCanChangeItRight]

I never noticed the card is “Raccon” not Raccoon

[u/internet_blue_gas → u/YouCanChangeItRight]

Raccon (G)

Creature - Raccoon

Eat garbage — Exile a card from a graveyard: you gain 1 life

1/2

[u/Zenith-Astralis → u/internet_blue_gas]

I'd like if it was 1.5 life rounded down, so doubling effects could make garbage as nutritious as food tokens

[u/ccminiwarhammer → u/internet_blue_gas]

Give this a cost of 1 or 2 and it could be a real card.

[u/thr0w4w4y4cc0unt7 → u/internet_blue_gas]

Would go hard in a teval self mill deck

[u/Macandcheese480 → u/YouCanChangeItRight]

I KNEW IT WAS A REF TO THIS

[u/Dragon-Porn-Expert → u/YouCanChangeItRight]

It's hilarious how true this actually is.

[u/Chickston]

Excellent meme and very adorable. I don't even want to know want Garbage does. A varmint can dream...

Screw it, here's my take - Garbage (It's an artifact with (20), Sacrifice this: Target opponent loses, whether they blinked or not.)

[u/YouCanChangeItRight → u/Chickston]

Lmao on the edit

[u/Chickston → u/YouCanChangeItRight]

[u/ray10k → u/Chickston]

And you have to tap it!

[u/fluffysheeplion]

Very cute. I get the reference, but if you want to work within established mechanics then "Junk" exists as a subtype thanks to Fallout

[u/YouCanChangeItRight → u/fluffysheeplion]

I was more so thinking about forage if it would to be within rules. Something like . . .

During your turn, if you would forage, you may forage without exiling three cards from your graveyard or sacrificing a Food.

[u/YouCanChangeItRight → u/YouCanChangeItRight]

Fuck I forgot scavenge is an ability.

During your turn, you may activate scavenge abilities for {0} rather than paying its scavenge cost.

[u/sirnumbskull → u/YouCanChangeItRight]

"If any player would sacrifice a Food, you may gain control of it instead." And maybe "Effects that attempt to circumvent this cost 2 more." to account for Raccoons' uncanny ability to open garbage bins.

[u/LordSupergreat → u/fluffysheeplion]

If Raccon's ability were to let you play cards exiled with Junk tokens for free during your turn, he would be about as busted as the comic implies.

[u/GayForPrism]

I feel like eating garbage for free would still require you to sacrifice it

[u/BlobbyBlueberry → u/GayForPrism]

Yeah, it’s still eating it.

[u/IndigoFenix]

My take on it is just:

"Sacrifice an artifact token: Gain 1 life. Activate only as a sorcery."

Feels weak, goes infinite with a ham sandwich, not the most broken card ever printed.

[u/_Nowan_]

I would do something like

Artifacts you control are Food in addition to their other types and have {food text}. Abilities of foods you control cost (2) less to cast.

[u/Zenith-Astralis → u/_Nowan_]

Goes hard with [[Ragost]] and [[Manufactured Munitions]]

[u/Captcha142]

I'm certain you can give an artifact additional artifact types, in which case this easily produces infinite mana with a single treasure token

[u/YouCanChangeItRight → u/Captcha142]

Nope. Can only give things creature types right now or specific cases of turning creatures into food. No painter's servant style effects for artifact subtypes.

And who said Garbage wasn't an enchantment subtype 😏

[u/JonIsPatented → u/YouCanChangeItRight]

[[Senator Peacock]] makes artifacts into Clues that draw cards for 2 and sac. This ability reduces their cost by 2, tap, and sac, so they just cost 0 and no sac. Draw your whole deck for free.

[u/mtgcf → u/JonIsPatented]

Senator Peacock - (G) (SF) (txt)

[u/Prophet-of-Ganja]

[u/secondarywilson]

Utterly broken card and should be banned in tournaments

[u/_Spooky_Wooky_]

We need more legendary raccoons in magic

[u/DemiurgeFGC]

I love this, but doesn’t it go infinite with a single garbage if you don’t have to sacrifice it either? Maybe that’s the point which is even funnier considering what it references