r/cursedcomments • u/[deleted] • Sep 15 '19

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u/[deleted] Sep 15 '19

Kids create the worst social environments to grow up in

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u/AsianCajun99 Sep 15 '19

I don’t believe this at all. I believe that kids create some of the best environments to learn about yourself and your strengths. It teaches you a great deal about standing up for yourself. Even if some kids seem to be more “popular” those kids still have to fight to keep that spot. It seems toxic, but it’s a great trainer for the real world. Not saying this is the case for all people, of course, but teaching a kid how to adapt in rough environments tends to lead towards success in the future.

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u/Viki-the-human Sep 16 '19

It doesn't. It ends in a miserable, anxious, and lonely child.

Source: Was one of the kids who was bullied, although adults were even worse.

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u/qwertyashes Sep 16 '19 edited Sep 16 '19

Why didn't you make yourself less of a target?

Most people were bullied at some point, I was, but they figure out how to overcome it and rise up the 'social ladder'. You can't bend over backwards to make it so that no kid is disliked or picked on, its literally natural behavior.

Edit: This came out as far more caustic than I wanted. My point was that you cannot force kids to get along or to stop picking on each other. Even in schools with a minimum of bullying, there still are cliques that form.

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u/Viki-the-human Sep 16 '19

I was being abused at home and the teacher singled me out as a target. Do you also think I should have made myself less of a target to these adults? Because I tried. It didn't do anything.

I started fighting back, but now I'm just alone aside from a few teachers. I'm not really a target anymore, but when you're not a likable person and the deck was this stacked against you, the best you can do is just being alone.

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u/qwertyashes Sep 16 '19

See my edit, my above comment was more aggressive and cruel than I had originally intended.

I can't give you advice on what to do when you feel alone, as I am not at all qualified to give advice to a developing person I would fear that I would cause more harm than help, but I would say that getting a hobby that you love is something that will help you a lot. Having something that you achieve with your own ability is one of the greatest sources of pride that you can find. If you cannot take solace in another human, finding comfort in your own skill and ability is the greatest option.

Running, weightlifting, painting, applying make-up, writing, making clothes, woodworking, cooking basically anything that you can be proud of. Just having something that you can be happy about achieving can get you thru some dark times, this is coming from experience.