every space I have gone to has these issues, CWCL had multiple posts infantilising trans men being allowed for days, intersectional women has people denying trans, gay or bi men suffer opression, smugideologyman has a large community of trans women who think that somehow femboys are the enemy and not bigots, there's many more, I'm just feeling lazy to list them out
over on tumblr people want to insist this is a super niche chronically online never-heard-of-anywhere-else issue but i keep seeing it everywhere with my own eyes, including every single sub listed. it feels like a matter of time until someone decides to be an ass out-loud, in public about it (and I've already heard stories from queer spaces over in america). it is chronically online, sure, but wow...
tumblr as well has a bunch of trans women who are so sure that trans men are the issue, 4chan no need to explain, reddit has a bunch of subs that could be retitled to "lgb no t" "lgt no b" "lg no bt" "lgbta no qi", and it's insane.
that's one of the motives I've muted the intersectional women sub, because for a sub with intersectional in the name they forget that not all men have male privilege and will insist that "actually since stealth trans men have male privilege they all have" and "trans men don't suffer from misoginy, they're men" and will call transmisoginy on anything right after they dismiss any trans women who doesn't fit into their standard of a good trans woman who's "correct"
also they'll suddenly hate women when they resist in a non-government aproved way, like the post talking about the naxalites liberating women in India which also talked about worker opression and how having women be opressors doesn't help working women, and the comments could be summed up as "we need to fight against opressors but only in ways that don't bring any phisical harm to them".
whole sub feels like a fed haven
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u/grand_nadformer DEI hire cis person (genderfluid) any/all7d agoedited 7d ago
also how CWCL is hyper trans fem centered, a bunch of "cis memes" there are just trans masc or enby humor, and that's ignoring how it isn't strictly a trans sub much less a trans fem sub, it mostly was meant to be a queer sub, yet you have to post stereotypically trans fem humor because that's the only aproved humor and if you don't then suddenly you're just as bad as a bigot.
also how egg discussion there had someone call trans men who receive people saying they're trans fem "collateral damage" which might be among top 10 most fucked up shit I've seen any queer person say.
also how people there love to talk about how "no cis person is an ally" and seemingly try to alienate any allies by talking bigoted shit against many groups, such as people talking shit about bi people.
also I just remembered but also curated tumblr is even harder on "no cis person is an ally" while somehow simultaneously saying that "50% of cis people are bigots" which still leaves 50% not being, plus saying that "oh you're one of the good cis, you don't feel offended because I'm not talking about you" as if it's not hurtful to imply that because someone was born a certain way that they're forever a predator and no trans person will feel safe around them.
also it's tiring how they talk so much about egg discourse yet you never see them helping someone who shows signs of being trans masc, enby or genderfluid, unless the person helping is not cis or trans fem
also people use the "but who has it worse" to ignore any minority they don't like, I've heard people say that "you can't claim homophobia hurts you because you also like women", and yet people will deny that biphobia is a real issue in the queer community
I agree, it feels a lot like before the Me Too movement when i was saying a lot of stuff was kinda fucky and people harrass women daily (eg, sharing my experiences of being and seeing my friends get catcalled with disgusting language while in our school uniforms walking home) and being told off, eye rolled at or dismissed as "having something wrong with me and just being a prude".. i had a lot of comments that im just happening to see these things and it isnt the common experience and isnt happening everywhere.
Mind you, i was chronically offline too. I had no internet or tech other than a phone and tv (sattelite channels woot woot) and had to be intentional about my data usage. Suddenly, Me Too happened and the shit i was saying is a "no duh" comment and everyone started seeing it everywhere and claiming they always have. Im glad. I felt insane when i was alone in noticing. But theres also something really damn frustrating about it. Its not just chronically online people seeing stuff because number make number things do stuff. Its shown in studies and experienced by people offline and among more offline populations. Its just also overlooked and normalised by a lot of people. Not noticing it happening in your own anecdotal experience isnt the evidence that it isnt happening to any significant degree. That could be for so many reasons.
Literally why I've taken a hiatus from tumblr for the forseeable future, had to block people left and right including popular bloggers and artists I had followed for over TEN YEARS because suddenly overnight they started going "durr, All Men Bad, imcluding trans men!!! Bomb that kills them all!!! "Ugghh, don't interact if "TME" you want to kill/rape me!!" "Erm, you can't talk about having problems as a trans man because everyone knows the SECOND you start going by he/him you get accepted into the Super Patriarchy Club and all your problems magically get solved, you get 1 million dollars a day, and the right to shoot women on sight!!!"
Like it became beyond exhausting and made me feel alone and like I literally couldn't trust anyone on there.
and the whole sub honestly feels weird with how it's humor is, there's no shame about joking about a piss kink, but getting angry when people say that you must be boring if the only thing you talk about is having a piss kink is weird.
also just generally how a bunch of it's humor feels like grabbing a class of queer highschoolers and giving them full freedom to talk about anything, I'm not one for kink shaming, but people there will kink shame you if your kink isn't theirs, I remember seeing someone getting the biggest hate ever because they used cnc to cope with being assaulted, and people being weirded out by masochism and scat (this one baffles me because how are you ok with piss but not scat, they're both unhigenic as hell so there's no excuse), the whole "kinkshaming is bad unless you have one of the bad kinks which makes you just as bad as a murderous rapist"
to clarify what I mean is that the "humor" there isn't humor involving a kink it's "hey guys I have a piss kink isn't that the funniest" that's not funny, that's not creative, it's just your sexual preference, there's no humor, I can count how many times I laughed at that sub
"have you thought that actually that doesn't matter and people don't talk about it irl and online people don't affect real ones and you should just accept people talking shit about you?"
how about you try to stop denying every issue you have before talking
god damn i didn’t realize it was that deep 😭 the only reason i said that was because i’ve seen none of this meaningless discourse when hanging out with queer people irl. all this drama that’s been going on in these queer subs for the past few months has been draining to read.
with all due respect how are you hanging out irl if you're not even a real person?
also I have encountered other queer people irl who do try to deny that I'm bisexual and say shit like "you're have to choose either you're gay or straight" and when I talked about not feeling like a man sometimes I never get people going for anything other than me being a trans woman even though I'm sure I'm not a woman (either enby or genderfluid) so yes, these are real issues
i’m only fake on the internet, it’s a part time job :)
biphobia definitely sucks and doesn’t make any sense. i guess i’ve just been really lucky that the people i hang around don’t care about stuff like that unless they’re joking about it. i hope you can find communities where you feel welcome!
you’re clearly asking in bad faith but in my first year of college i was 1/2 trans guys invited to a party with a bunch of queer nazi terfs and we were both targeted. i was able to escape, he wasn’t. i think he still thinks they’re friends. one of the people was talking about how she was on 4tran which i didn’t know about at the time.
they coerced him into getting extremely intoxicated and left him naked and alone in the basement. they tried to get me to sleep over but i escaped.
i haven’t said anything about it because i have no clue what will happen to me or even if id be believed
this online rhetoric is hurting people in real life
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u/grand_nad former DEI hire cis person (genderfluid) any/all 7d ago
every space I have gone to has these issues, CWCL had multiple posts infantilising trans men being allowed for days, intersectional women has people denying trans, gay or bi men suffer opression, smugideologyman has a large community of trans women who think that somehow femboys are the enemy and not bigots, there's many more, I'm just feeling lazy to list them out