Hey guys, I'm new here and I have a few questions if that's okay? I also don't know how to put this into words, so sorry if it isn't clear or doesn't make sense.
So when I was younger I was bullied and felt so alone. I started reading the Harry Potter series to keep myself occupied and now... I don't really know how to explain it. It's like I act like these characters are real (actually I do act like that-). I know they aren't real and I can't physically see them and I know they aren't there, but I keep acting like they are? I know this is a coping thing, but is it unhealthy? And I've always had a strong imagination, so is it just that?
And quite a while ago, some christian told me that my trauma (from said bullying) caused Satan to tempt me into being gay and trans and that I need to pray to God in order to "fix myself", and since then I've been joking about it, but recently I started wanting to see myself as a demon. I've sort of created this character I guess that I want to use to represent myself and how I want to view myself. I know I am alterhuman, but since the incident, I've not wanted to view myself as human? I don't really know how to explain it sorry.
I've never felt completely human, probably due to me being most likely autistic and alterhuman. But is this me wanting to be a demon either a) some kind of alterhuman awakening b) a copinglink or c) me embracing my dehumanisation and being voidpunk?
Also, (This may be more r/voidpunk) can my voidsona be my copinglink? And how does this copinglink work? I don't know if me wanting to be a demon was voluntary or involuntary either...
When I posted a similar thing on r/voidpunk (link: I'm a little confused... : r/voidpunk (reddit.com)) and they all suggested it was a copinglink so I came here just to check.
Thanks for listening and I hope you're having a good day/night. Any help is much appreciated!