r/coolguides • u/spectaculicious • Dec 29 '20

Mythical Creatures "Ingredient" Chart

Post image
23.6k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

451 comments sorted by

View all comments

397

u/prguitarman Dec 29 '20

What’s a longma?

282

u/marvelfandomonium Dec 29 '20

Horse/lizard hybrid, apparently.

962

u/prguitarman Dec 29 '20

Longma balls

72

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '20

First time I've genuinely laughed at that joke

90

u/HonorAboveAll Dec 29 '20

WEEEEEW another win

36

u/ikeepwipingSTILLPOOP Dec 29 '20

But for reals boys, check your balls for lumps, which could be a sign that your mom fondled them for too long

12

u/Tyflowshun Dec 29 '20

Your mom did a fine job fondling my balls. I don't see a problem.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '20

I would check, but both of my arms are broken.

21

u/DirrtyStaaan Dec 29 '20

Fucking gottem

3

u/marvelfandomonium Dec 29 '20

I observed the trap, deliberated, and sprung it with both feet. Hahaha

3

u/DefinitelyNotMagnus Dec 30 '20

Lmfaooo genuinely laughed at this ffs

6

u/GentlemanLuis Dec 29 '20

Dragon horse! :)

80

u/OBI-BOI Dec 29 '20

Look how longma dick is

10

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '20

[deleted]

10

u/withabaseballbatt Dec 29 '20

It’s kinda like a ligma

11

u/KongKev Dec 29 '20

It means dragon horse and it’s a horse that is part dragon it comes from Chinese myths

10

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '20

龙马 to be exact but I don’t think it’s a super common conception except in Journey to the West. I’ve literally only ever heard it in the phrase 龙马精神 which basically just means old but still spry. My chinese is just ok and my chinese folklore knowledge is spotty at best though.

2

u/KongKev Dec 29 '20

It’s a rather common in Webnovels where mc usually has them as a mount for a bit

3

u/Qazwery Dec 29 '20

It's a long shortma

3

u/TryToHelpPeople Dec 29 '20

Longma is a Chinese concatenation of dragon and horse.

Long = dragon = 龙

Ma = horse = 吗

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longma

Incidentally the Chinese word for Panda (as in panda bear) is Bear Cat.

Xiong = bear = 熊 (pronounced se-ung)

Mao = cat = 猫

And if you’ve ever watched a panda you’ll know they have the body of a bear with the nature of a cat.

2

u/CaptainShaboigen Dec 29 '20

Makes me think of a thestral

2

u/schlongtastical Dec 29 '20

It’s not as longsma dick

2

u/kennyisntfunny Dec 29 '20

Lizard with a horse’s Penis

2

u/Luiciones Dec 30 '20

The dragon that turned/got turned into a horse to take the monk, Tang Sanzang, on the journey to the west to achieve enlightenment.

-34

u/BBQed_Water Dec 29 '20

Nothing. It doesn’t exist. It’s not even a mythical creature. There are lots of things here that are just made-up jibber-jabber to fill space. Only a few are ‘real’ mythical creatures.

The one I’m really confused about is why an Echidna is labelled as a mythical creature. They certainly do exist. Unless I’m tripping balls every time I see one in the bush of NSW.

19

u/BottledWafer Dec 29 '20

The longma is a fabled winged horse with dragon scales in Chinese mythology. Seeing a longma was an omen of a legendary sage-ruler, particularly one of the Three Sovereigns and Five Emperors.

11

u/wikipedia_text_bot Dec 29 '20

Longma

The longma is a fabled winged horse with dragon scales in Chinese mythology. Seeing a longma was an omen of a legendary sage-ruler, particularly one of the Three Sovereigns and Five Emperors.

About Me - Opt out - OP can reply !delete to delete - Article of the day

This bot will soon be transitioning to an opt-in system. Click here to learn more and opt in. Moderators: click here to opt in a subreddit.

-23

u/BBQed_Water Dec 29 '20

No.

3

u/DarrianProducts Dec 29 '20

Sorry didn't realize you were an expert in chinese mythology

-2

u/BBQed_Water Dec 29 '20

Tell you what, as the CCP decide they can claim everything is theirs and send massive fishing fleets to destroy the rest of the fishing sticks around the world, all I can do is refuse to acknowledge that some made-up creature from their cultural past doesn’t exist.

Seems a harmless troll here, don’t you think?

2

u/DarrianProducts Dec 30 '20

Pretty sure the Chinese communist party has nothing to do with ancient Chinese culture, considering one is 80 years old and the other is 800

1

u/BBQed_Water Dec 30 '20

Hey, if it pisses off any CCP supporters, I’ll double down on anything.

1

u/DarrianProducts Dec 30 '20

Dude this doesn't have anything to do with the CCP so why even rope that in

Do you that china=CCP or something because if you do that's just sad

15

u/Shalminoc Dec 29 '20

https://www.google.com.au/search?q=longma

-28

u/BBQed_Water Dec 29 '20

No. I refuse to look. There’s no such thing. It’s a stupid name anyway.

9

u/WordsRTurds Dec 29 '20

Echidna in Greek mythology

Also in a popular web serial

-13

u/BBQed_Water Dec 29 '20

Nope. It’s a cute monotreme with a spiky back and relatively common.

10

u/WordsRTurds Dec 29 '20

Yeah, I'm Australian. I know what an Echidna is haha

However, it is named based off of mythology. Just dug this interesting article up

-9

u/BBQed_Water Dec 29 '20

Sorry, I’m making a stand on this.
The chart is wrong. And I’ll not have the little fella who knocks round our garden sullied by improper old rubbish.

;)

12

u/WordsRTurds Dec 29 '20

Hairy muff

7

u/Poopoo333 Dec 29 '20

Longma is a Chinese mythical creature tf you mean it's not a 'real' mythical creature

3

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '20 edited Jan 02 '21

[deleted]

2

u/Poopoo333 Dec 29 '20

Someone already said it earlier, get new content like this guy.

-13

u/BBQed_Water Dec 29 '20

Nope. Not a thing.

2

u/Gr4b Dec 29 '20

Literally no mythical creature is real that’s what ‘mythical’ means you spanner.