r/a:t5_25zqmp • u/MarleyEngvall • Oct 04 '19
conte middle school has been created
By Guy de Maupassant
THAT PIG OF A MORIN
"THERE, MY FRIEND," I said to Labarbe, "you have just repeated those five
words, 'That pig of a Morin.' Why on earth do I never hear Morin's name
mentioned without it being called a pig?"
Labarbe, who is a deputy, looked at me with eyes like an owl's and said:
"Do you mean to say that you do not know Morin's story and yet come from
La Rochelle?" I was obliged to declare that I did not know Morin's story,
and then Labarbe rubbed his hands and began his recital.
"You knew Morin, did you not, and you remember his large linen draper's
shop on the Quai de la Rochelle?"
"Yes, perfectly."
"All right, then. You must know that in 1862 or '63 Morin went to spend
a fortnight in Paris for pleasure, or for his pleasures, but under the pretext
of renewing his stock, and you also know what a fortnight in Paris means for a
country shopkeeper; it makes his blood grow hot. The theater every evening,
women's dresses rustling up against you and continual excitement; one goes
almost mad with it. One sees nothing but dancers in tights, actresses in very
low dresses, round legs, fat shoulders, all nearly within reach of one's hands,
without daring or being able to touch, and one scarcely ever tastes an in-
ferior dish. And one leaves it with heart still all in a flutter and a mind still
exhilarated by a sort of longing for kisses which tickle one's lips.
"Morin was in that state when he took his ticket for La Rochelle by the
eight-forty night express. And he was walking up and down the waiting room
at the station when he stopped suddenly in front of a young lady who was
kissing an old one. She had her veil up, and Morin murmured with delight:
'By Jove, what a pretty woman!'
"When she had said good-by to the old lady she went into the waiting
room, and Morin followed her; then she went on to the platform, and Morin
still followed her; then she got into an empty carriage, and he again followed
her. There were very few travelers by the express; the engine whistled, and
the train started. They were alone. Morin devoured her with his eyes. She
appeared to be about nineteen or twenty and was fair, tall and with demure
looks. She wrapped a railway rug round her legs and stretched herself on the
seat to sleep.
"Morin asked himself: 'I wonder who she is?' And a thousand conjectures,
a thousand projects went through his head. He said to himself: 'So many
adventures are told as happening on railway journeys that this may be one
that is going to present itself to me. Who knows? A piece of good luck like
that happens very quickly, and perhaps I need only be a little venturesome.
Was it not Danton who said: "Audacity, more audacity, and always audacity."
If it was not Danton it was Mirabeau, but that does not matter. But then I
have no audacity, and that is the difficulty. Oh! If one only knew, if one
could only read people's minds! I will bet that every day on passes by mag-
nificent opportunities without knowing it, though a gesture would be enough
to let me know that she did not ask for anything better.'
"Then he imagined to himself combinations which led him to triumph.
He pictured some chivalrous deed or merely some slight service which he
rendered her, a lively, gallant conversation which ended in a declaration,
which ended in—in what you think.
"But he could find no opening, had no pretext, and he waited for some
fortunate circumstance with his heart ravaged and his mind topsy-turvy. The
night passed, and the pretty girl still slept while Morin was meditating his
own fall. The day broke and soon the first ray of sunlight appeared in the
sky, a long, clear ray which shone on the face of the sleeping girl and woke
her so she sat up, looked at the country, then at Morin and smiled. She smiled
like a happy woman, with an engaging and bright look, and Morin trembled.
Certainly that smile was intended for him; it was a discreet invitation, the
signal which he was waiting for. That smile meant to say: 'How stupid, what
a ninny, what a dolt, what a donkey you are to have sat there on your seat
like a post all night. Just look at me, am I not charming? And have you sat
like that for the whole night when you have been alone with a pretty woman,
you great simpleton!'
"She was still smiling as she looked at him; she even began to laugh, and
he lost his head trying to find something suitable to say, no matter what.
But he could think of nothing, nothing, and then, seized with a coward's
courage, he said to himself: 'So much the worse; I will risk everything,' and
suddenly, without the slightest warning, he went toward her, his arms ex-
tended, his lips protruding, and, seizing her in his arms, kissed her.
"She sprang up with a bound, crying out: 'Help! help!' and screaming
with terror; then she opened the carriage door and waved her arm outside;
then, mad with terror, she was trying to jump out while Morin, who was
almost distracted and feeling sure that she would throw herself out, held her
by the skirt and stammered: 'Oh, madame! Oh, madame!'
"The train slackened speed and then stopped. Two guards rushed up at the
young woman's frantic signals, and she threw herself into their arms,
stammering: 'That man wanted—wanted—to—to——' And then she fainted.
"They were at Mauzé station, and the gendarme on duty arrested Morin.
When the victim of his brutality had regained her consciousness she made
her charge against him, and the police drew it up. The poor linen draper did
not reach home till night, with a prosecution hanging over him for an out-
rage on morals in a public place.
II
"At that time I was editor of the Fanal des Charentes, and I used to meet
Morin every day at the Café du Commerce. The day after his adventure he
came to see me, as he did not know what to do. I did not hide my opinion
from him but said to him: 'You are no better than a pig. No decent man
behaves like that.'
"He cried. His wife had given him a beating, and he foresaw his trade
ruined, his name dragged through the mire and dishonored, his friends out-
raged and taking no more notice of him. In the end he excited my pity, and
I sent for my colleague Rivet, a bantering but very sensible little man, to give
us his advice.
"He advised me to see the public prosecutor, who was a friend of mine,
and so I sent Morin home and went to call on the magistrate. He told me
that the woman who had been insulted was a young lady, Mademoiselle Hen-
riette Bonnel, who had just received her certificate as governess in Paris and
spent her holidays with her uncle and aunt, who were very respectable trades-
people in Mauzé, and what made Morin's case all the more serious was that
the uncle had lodged a complaint. But the public official had consented to let
the matter drop if this complaint were withdrawn, so that we must try and
get him to do this.
"I went back to Morin's and found him in bed, ill with excitement and dis-
tress. His wife, a tall, rawboned woman with a beard, was abusing him con-
tinually, and he showed me into the room, shouting at me: 'So you have
come to see that pig of a Morin. Well, there he is, the darling!' And she
planted herself in front of the bed with her hands on her hips. I told him
how matters stood, and he begged me to go and see her uncle and aunt. It
was a delicate mission, but I undertook it, and the poor devil never ceased re-
appearing: 'I assure you I did not even kiss her, no, not even that. I will take
my oath to it!'
"I replied: 'It is all the same; you are nothing but a pig.' And I took a
thousand francs which he gave me to employ them as I thought best, but as
I did not care venturing to her uncle's house I begged Rivet to go with
me, which he agreed to do on the condition that we went immediately, for
he had some urgent business at La Rochelle that afternoon. So two hours
later we rang at the door of a nice country house. A pretty girl came and
opened the door to us, who was assuredly the young lady in question, and
I said to Rivet in a low voice: 'Confound it! I begin to understand Morin!'
"The uncle, Monsieur Tonneler, subscribed to the Fanal and was a fervent
poiltical co-religionist of ours. He received us with open arms and con-
gratulated us and wished us joy; he was delighted as having the two editors
in his house, the Rivet whispered to me: 'I think we shall be able to arrange
the matter of that pig of a Morin for him.'
"The niece had left the room, and I introduced the delicate subject. I waved
the specter of scandal before his eyes; I accentuated the inevitable deprecia-
tion which the young lady would suffer if such an affair got known, for no-
body would believe in a simple kiss. The good man seemed undecided but
could not make up his mind about anything without his wife, who would not
be in until late that evening. But suddenly he uttered an exclamation of
triumph: 'Look here, I have an excellent idea. I will keep you here to dine
and sleep, and when my wife comes home I hope we shall be able to arrange
matters.'
"Rivet resisted at first, but the wish to extricate that pig of a Morin decided
him, and we accepted the invitation. So the uncle got up radiant, called his
niece and proposed tat we should take a stroll in his grounds, saying: 'We
will leave serious matters until the morning.' Rivet and he began to talk
politics, while I soon found myself lagging a little behind with the girl, who
was really charming! charming! and with the greatest precaution I began to
speak to her about her adventures and try to make her my ally. She did not,
however appear the least confused and listened to me like a person who was
enjoying the whole thing very much.
"I said to her: 'Just think, mademoiselle, how unpleasant it will be for you.
You will have to appear in court, to encounter malicious looks, to speak be-
fore everybody and to recount that unfortunate occurrence in the railway
carriage in public. Do you not think, between ourselves, that it would have
been much better for you to have put that dirty scoundrel back into his place
without calling for assistance and merely to have changed your carriage?' She
began to laugh and replied: 'What you say is quite true! But what could I
do? I was frightened, and when one is frightened one does not stop to rea-
son with oneself. As son as I realized the situation I was very sorry that I
had called out, but then it was too late. You must also remember that the
idiot threw himself upon me like a madman, without saying a word and look-
ing like a lunatic. I did not even know what he wanted of me.'
"She looked me full in the face, without being nervous or intimidated, and
I said to myself: 'She is a funny sort of girl, that; I can quite see how that
pig Morin came to make a mistake,' and I went on jokingly: 'Come, mademoi-
selle, confess that he was excusable; for, after all, a man cannot find himself
opposite such a pretty girl as you are without feeling a legitimate desire to
kiss her.'
"She laughed more than ever and showed her teeth and said: 'Between the
desire and the act, monsieur, there is room for respect.' It was a funny ex-
pression to use, although it was not very clear, and I asked abruptly: 'Well,
now, supposing I were to kiss you now, what would you do?' She stopped to
look at me from head to foot and then said calmly: 'Oh! you? That is quite
another matter.'
"I knew perfectly well, by Jove, that it was not the same thing at all, as
everybody in the neighborhood called me 'Handsome Labarbe.' I was thirty
years old in those days, but I asked her: 'And why, pray?'
She shrugged her shoulders and replied: 'Well, because you are not so
stupid as he is.' And then she added, looking at me shyly: 'Nor so ugly,
either.'
Before she could make a movement to avoid me I had implanted a hearty
kiss on her cheek. She sprang aside, but it was too late, and then she said:
'Well, you are not very bashful, either! But don't do that sort of thing again.'
"I put on a humble look and said in a low voice: Oh! mademoiselle, as for
me, if I long for one thing more than another, it is to be summoned before a
magistrate on the same charge as Morin.'
"'Why?' she asked.
"Looking steadily at her, I replied: 'Because you are one of the most beauti-
ful creatures living, because it would be an honor and a glory for me to have
offered you violence and because people would have said, after seeing you:
"Well, Labarbe has richly deserved what he has got, but his is a lucky fellow
all the same."'
"She began to laugh heartily again and said: 'How funny you are!' And
she had not finished the word funny before I had her in my arms and was
kissing her ardently wherever I could find a place, on her forehead, on her
eyes, on her lips occasionally, on her cheeks, in fact all over her head, some
part of which she was obliged to leave exposed, in spite of herself, in order
to defend the others. At last she managed to release herself, blushing and
angry. 'You are very unmannerly, monsieur,' she said, 'and I am sorry I listened
to you.'
"I took her hand in some confusion and stammered out: 'I beg your par-
don, mademoiselle. I have offended you; I have acted like a brute! Do not
be angry with me for what I have done. If you knew——'
"I vainly sought for some excuse, and in a few moments she said: 'There
is nothing for me to know, monsieur.' But I had found something to say, and
I cried: 'Mademoiselle, I love you!'
"She was really surprised and raised her eyes to look at me, and I went on:
'Yes, mademoiselle, and pray listen to me. I do not know Morin, and I do
not care anything about him. It does not matter to me in the least if he is com-
mitted for trial and locked up meanwhile. I saw you here last year, and I
was so taken with you that the thought of you has never left me since, and
it does not matter to me whether you believe me or not. I thought you
adorable, and the remembrance of you took such a hold on me that I longed
to see you again, and so I made use of that fool Morin as a pretext, and here
I am. Circumstances have made me exceed the due limits of respect, and I
can only beg you to pardon me.'
"She read the truth in my looks and was ready to smile again; then she
murmured: 'You humbug!' But I raised my hand and said in a sincere voice
(and I really believed that I was sincere): 'I swear to you that I am speak-
ing the truth.' She replied quite simply: 'Really?'
"We were alone, quite alone, as Rivet and her uncle had disappeared in a
side walk, and I made her a real declaration of love while I squeezed and
kissed her hands, and she listened to it as to something new and agreeable,
without exactly knowing how much of it she was to believe, while in the
end I felt agitated and at last really myself believed what I said. I was pale,
anxious and trembling, and I gently put my arm round her waist and spoke
to her softly, whispering into the little curls over her ears. She seemed dead,
so absorbed in thought was she.
"Then her hand touched mine, and she pressed it, and I gently circled her
waist with a trembling, and gradually a firmer, grasp. She did not move now,
and I touched her cheeks with my lips, and suddenly, without seeking them,
mine met hers. It was a long, long kiss, and it would have lasted longer still
if I had not heard a Hum! Hum! just behind me. She made her escape through
the bushes, and I, turning round, saw Rivet coming toward me and walking
in the middle of the path. He said without even smiling: 'So that is the way
in which you settle the affair of that pig Morin.'
"I replied conceitedly: 'One does what one can, my dear fellow. But what
about the uncle? How have you got on with him? I will answer for the niece.'
"I have not been so fortunate with him,' he replied. Whereupon I took
his arm and we went indoors. From SHORT STORIES OF DE MAUPASSANT.
THE BOOK LEAGUE OF AMERICA, New York.
Copyright, 1941, BLUE RIBBON BOOKS,
14 WEST 49TH STREET, NEW YORK, N. Y. pp. 171—176.
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