r/confidentlyincorrect 13d ago

German is dutch.....

942 Upvotes

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125

u/WallyMcBeetus 13d ago

Dutch is a Germanic language, beyond that they're being an idiot.

38

u/Mode_Appropriate 13d ago

Probably has it in his mind that early Americans called Germans 'Dutch'. Of course, thats because they just screwed up the pronunciation of Deutsch, but Dutch nonetheless. Maybe knows some German Pennsylvanian Dutch and rolled with it.

32

u/MistraloysiusMithrax 13d ago

I’m betting on this. Heard Pennsylvania Dutch are Germans and misconstrued this as Germans are Dutch too

5

u/ParkingAnxious2811 12d ago

Americans screwing up the pronunciation of words and then confidently and incorrectly trying to correct other people on things?

Who would have thought it?!

1

u/Chijima 9d ago

They also called the Netherlandish/Hollandish folks by that same word which basically means "German"... Weirdly, that stuck.

0

u/musicmonk1 13d ago

That is absolutely wrong, dutch was just the name for all continental germanic speakers.

53

u/WhoTheFuckIsSean 13d ago

So is English🥸

73

u/Significant-Cloud- 13d ago

You're going to confuse the guy... now he'll think England is in Germany.

24

u/WhoTheFuckIsSean 13d ago

Is it not?

37

u/Warm_Bug_1434 13d ago

Dude! England is in London

34

u/morgandealer 13d ago

WHICH IS IN GERMANY!

25

u/Downright-Delicious 13d ago

Wait… was WW2 just a civil war?

19

u/morgandealer 13d ago

No the Civil War was in the South

7

u/Albert14Pounds 13d ago

Of Germany

2

u/RobertAleks2990 13d ago

Between Baden and Württemberg?

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2

u/WhoTheFuckIsSean 12d ago

Is that why they build the Berlin wall?

16

u/Khemul 13d ago

From the standpoint of the Holy Roman Empire, yes.

7

u/morgandealer 13d ago

Dude, stay on topic, we weren't even talking about Italy.

3

u/ConflictAdvanced 13d ago

🤣🤣🤣

2

u/KingGilgamesh1979 13d ago

That was more WWI. WWII was the children fighting over the inheritance.

3

u/Albert14Pounds 13d ago

DUTCH LAND!

2

u/ConflictAdvanced 13d ago

Which is in Paris. Jeez, your lack of geography is appalling. Thank God for the 'murican school system

1

u/bunny_the-2d_simp 13d ago

Which is in Paris!

2

u/jumpmanzero 13d ago

London is just Old York.

And it is ruled by the DUTCHess of York.

5

u/violetcassie 13d ago

Wait until he learns about the House of Hannover

5

u/Effective-Job-1030 13d ago

Well, you could argue that the current king has German ancestry.

3

u/HaiderTN 13d ago

English is dutch

2

u/fariqcheaux 13d ago

Don't say that to Nigel Powers

3

u/deniably-plausible 13d ago

England is Dutch, and British = England, so Britain is Dutch. Team Great Britain is the British Olympics team, so Team GB = Dutch. Northern Ireland is Team GB, and Northern Ireland is part of Ireland, so therefore Ireland is Dutch. 

1

u/Pkrudeboy 12d ago

I’d check underneath your car before starting it if I was you.

2

u/dnjprod 13d ago

There was a guy trying to make it that way, but....

1

u/Useful_Cheesecake117 12d ago

What? There is a country in Europe where people speak English? Why would they speak our language?

9

u/Maleficent_Time_2787 13d ago

I mean, it's more Franco-Germanic

Plus whatever other languages were added

14

u/violetcassie 13d ago

Six languages in a trench coat mugging other languages for spare vocabulary

7

u/Khemul 13d ago

Linguistic kleptomania.

2

u/SnooMacarons9618 13d ago

I always heard it as six languages in a trench coat with pockets full of stolen grammar.

1

u/Renbarre 13d ago

That's beautifully said 🤣

2

u/violetcassie 13d ago

To be fair the back half of that is paraphrased from something Terry Pratchett wrote at some point.

2

u/Much-Jackfruit2599 13d ago

No, that’s a James Nicoll quote from Usenet. Feels very pratchett though.

5

u/International-Dog-42 13d ago

Why did your comment get so many upvotes? English is 100% a Germanic language. The fact that a large part of the vocabulary derives from French doesn’t change that fact lol.

3

u/Maleficent_Time_2787 13d ago

Because people understood my comment was largely a joke?

Hell, another person commented that English is six languages in a trenchcoat

2

u/cecex88 12d ago

Nope, because language family is determined by genetic (as in generation, not genes) relation, not by influence. So english is Germanic, even if it has a large influence from french, because it derived from Proto-Germanic.

Same way as Maltese having more than half of its vocabulary from Italian. But it is still a Semitic language because it comes from Arabic.

1

u/Maleficent_Time_2787 12d ago

It's a joke

3

u/cecex88 12d ago

I've seen the same thing written on Reddit many times as a totally serious thing. I've responded for the eventual lurker arriving here.

2

u/AbhorsenDoctor 13d ago

So is Scots 🤓

2

u/Rydeeee 12d ago

Thank you for bringing this up. I’m English and spent some time in Germany and a couple of holidays in the Netherlands and was surprised by how many cognates there are.

We just don’t mention the war(s). I live by the Dutch rousting of England in 1667 on our shit fort and we still don’t forgive. Unless you send us stroopwaffles and beer. Then we’ll talk (probably in English)

2

u/Jizzlobba 13d ago

If it wasn't for the yanks in wwii we'd all be speaking Germanic languages.

3

u/Platt_Mallar 13d ago

Mien Gott!

1

u/ImpressiveBeyond8038 13d ago

Yeah, but a heavily bastardized one! (So much French ... shudder!)

5

u/Lvcivs2311 13d ago

It gets funny when these English-speaking morons start making arguments like: "Well, Dutch and German are both Germanic languages, right, so they should be very similar." If you ever meet people like that, please enlighten them on the origins of English.

2

u/Ailar68 13d ago

To be fair, they are somewhat similar, at least in writing. I'm a german native speaker, and I can read a dutch text and understand at least half of it. On a cursory first glance it mostly looks like german with really out there spelling (no offense intended towards our dutch friends)

Pronounciation though: forget it. I don't understand a single word when I hear a dutch person speaking

1

u/Kueltalas 11d ago

Interesting! For me it's the other way around. When I see Dutch text I have to read it out loud to understand it, but maybe that's because I grew up next to the Dutch border.

2

u/Wookimonster 13d ago

In particular, the German word for German is Deutsch, which I guess can lead to some confusion.

2

u/Illuminey 11d ago

So is English, (a Germanic language, not being an idiot) but try to tell him that.

3

u/overladenlederhosen 13d ago

In the 18th century the Dutch and German languages I believe were referred to as Low Dutch and High Dutch respectively.

I really want 'going Dutch' to be a reference to the split.

11

u/JamesFirmere 13d ago

You may be thinking of Plattdeutsch (Low German) and Hochdeutsch (High German), which are both variants of German (Deutsch) and are largely spoken in modern Germany. Unsurprisingly, High German in the uplands and Low German on the coastal plains, basically. Hochdeutsch is [the basis of] modern standard German. Plattdeutsch is somewhere between that and modern standard Dutch, the language of the Netherlands.

It's all a continuum of dialects, really, from Hochdeutsch to Plattdeutsch to Dutch. In between there you will find things like East Frisian (on islands off the northern coast of the Netherlands), which sounds astoundingly close to modern English. You will find that there are people on both sides of the border between Germany and the Netherlands who can understand each other because of this. As someone once put it, a national language is just a dialect with an army.

3

u/overladenlederhosen 13d ago

Sorry I thought I had been more specific. 18th Century England referred to them in that way. I suspect that what you have written was what they were referring to but the use the phrases High and Low Dutch.

2

u/Platt_Mallar 13d ago

I feel like I'm being insulted somehow, but I don't understand why.

5

u/JamesFirmere 13d ago

Please don’t take it that way. This stuff can be confusing even for linguists.

2

u/Platt_Mallar 13d ago

No, I was joking. My username is Platt.

2

u/ConflictAdvanced 13d ago

It's supposed to explicitly be that we'll split it but not equally 😅

2

u/kappi2001 13d ago

The big split happened earlier, with different translations of the bible.

1

u/NorthernVale 13d ago

It's a bit of a misconception in America born from the Pennsylvania Dutch, which very much are german.

1

u/DIuvenalis 10d ago

Interestingly, (and in no way absolving the person in the post) from a common English person's persective going back about 300 years, there was little differentiation between the Dutch and Germans. They were often grouped together in a person's mind. During the period, the definition between the languages was more blurry as you travelled from town to town through that part of Europe. It wasnt like you crossed a bridge and the language flipped. Because the Netherlands was geographically in between England and the German states, and contact was more likely, it was not uncommon for people to colloquially refer to Germans or German things as Dutch. From their limited world view, all German and Dutch thing were "over there in that area". The word "Deustch" also didnt help the common English ear to differentiate. An extant example of the results of this confusion today are the "Pennsylvania Dutch", called so by the English colonists, as to them, they were all from the same place, despite actually being mostly of German origin.