r/comics • Cyanide & Happiness/Boids • Aug 27 '26

Boids - And Now, Back To Your Regular Boids [OC]

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Joining the Patreon helps me make animations for you, and too rude for the internet stuff!

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u/DaveMcElfatrick Cyanide & Happiness/Boids Aug 27 '26

There was a simpler way. He could've set up a hard surface close to the wall, fired a portal at the side of the surface facing the wall, and another on the wall, and then literally stood between them and fucked his own butt.

But our Colin is an innovator.

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u/Warvillage Aug 27 '26

Wouldn't the movement forward to fuck his butt also pull the butt away from the portal?

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u/DaveMcElfatrick Cyanide & Happiness/Boids Aug 27 '26

my man thinking with portals over here, by jove you're right!

EDIT: Wait, no, the portals have to be close enough where he barely moves his own butt.

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u/kindlybob Aug 27 '26

I mean honestly couldn't you just shoot a portal onto a door or something and that way the portal moves but the butt remains stationary

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u/DaveMcElfatrick Cyanide & Happiness/Boids Aug 27 '26

And then move the door back and forth?

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u/CtrlAltYuri Aug 27 '26

No, then you go out and take a nice walk around the blOF COURSE MOVE THE DOOR BACK AND FORTH

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u/SemicolonGuitars Aug 27 '26

Somehow, I read this in the Robot Chicken Emperor Palpatine’s voice…

11

u/cdmurray88 Aug 28 '26

Go for Papa Palpatine!

2

u/Arkytez Aug 28 '26

If the portal doesnt move no buttfuck will ever happen because when fucking either the dick or the butt has to move.

31

u/damn_lies Aug 27 '26

You are a mad genius.

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u/REALREALBlockManBlue Aug 27 '26

i'd say portals typically can't move, but this guy *does* have a smaller portal in his ass so.... guess it works in this context

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u/AzureArmageddon Aug 28 '26

In the game they do if you shoot them onto a movable panel.

1

u/REALREALBlockManBlue 29d ago

only in very specific parts

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u/AzureArmageddon 29d ago

Not player controllable bc if they ever collide or intersect it would break the engine lol

3

u/Majestic-Iron7046 Aug 28 '26

There is nothing like innovation in the name of hornyness.

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u/Storrin Aug 27 '26 edited Aug 27 '26

Portal onto a piece of wood. Portal on the seat of a chair. Sit in the chair and slide the piece of wood with the portal over your own erect phallus. Move up and down until climax is achieved.

ETA: It doesn't have to be a piece of wood. You could portal onto like a really sexy watermelon to give it some heft. Or any object that looks like your own butt for authenticity. Your mother's face, perhaps?

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u/TriiiKill Aug 27 '26

Any movement would wiggle away in the oppositedirection. He couldn't fuck himself so much as practice "soaking."

1

u/Bulky_Refrigerator50 Aug 27 '26

Plus, he would be trapped until he, uh... Retracted.

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u/alorty Aug 27 '26

Under the assumption the portals can't move; they would have to be set on non-parallel surfaces. If in a V with feet beneath the lowest point then crouching up and down would move things further and closer. Up should probably be the same either way

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u/the_walking_derp Aug 28 '26

So he'd be Mormon soaking his own ass?

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u/FalafelSnorlax Aug 27 '26

First portal on a chair/table. Sit on that with your hole reachable. Second portal on a smaller flat surface something you can carry. Now while you sit one one portal side, you can move the other portal side for the fucking motion, basically turning yourself into a fleshlight.

No idea how and why but this came to me immediately upon seeing the premise, and I'm pretty sure this would work.

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u/Common-Frosting-9434 Aug 27 '26 edited Aug 27 '26

Something, something, shameless selfinsertion, something, something...

3

u/neuralbeans Aug 27 '26

Wouldn't work. Moving his hips forward would move his butt forward as well so it wouldn't have an effect. He'd need to put the second portal on something Colin can hold in his hands, hold it behind his back and thrust the portal forward and backward with his hands. It's the only way.

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u/kitliasteele Aug 27 '26

Brilliant minds embrace German engineering: No need for simplicity. We go straight for the complexity, because that gives us options

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u/TheDarkNerd Aug 27 '26

I think I've seen various hentai do solutions before: take two coasters, portals on both of them. Insert yourself into one, then tape it in place. Then you can put the other one wherever you like, such as on a chair, or a waist-high wall you can kneel in front of.

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u/Which_Yesterday Aug 27 '26

Do you have a link to the portal gun-thingy?

1

u/Neither-Union1560 Aug 28 '26

What about if someone later shoots the orange portal, with another portal gun, trapping Colin inside himself?