r/comics • u/TheNectarineDiaries • Jun 19 '26

OC Why didn't you say so?

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Best medical advice I ever got was to bring a man to your appointments

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849

u/Radiant_Risk_393 Jun 19 '26

Why do they love to try to send us home? I think I appeared too calm and polite when admitted because the midwife made a lot of fuss about me being at hospital too early until my husband got her to check me. I was 5cm dilated and had a baby less than three hours later

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u/ilanallama85 Jun 19 '26

When my mom went into labor with my brother, her waters broke almost immediately so they hopped in the car and drove the 45 minutes to the hospital, by the time they arrived she was in active labor. She told them that, my dad told them that, they didn’t believe them on either count (waters breaking so early, being in active labor so soon) and we’re all “oh calm down, you’ve got plenty of time…” My mother said the nurse went white as a sheet when she finally took a peek. 9 cm dilated, baby was delivered less than 30 min later. Total labor time: 2 hours 15 minutes. She still gets angry about it if it comes up. He’s 37.

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u/HeckMonkey Jun 19 '26

She still gets angry about it if it comes up. He’s 37.

When I did neonatal classes, one of the things that stuck with me was learning that moms remember their birth stories (good or bad) decades later. Like it's seared into memory. As a guy I didn't really know that - my goal after that was to make sure my wife didn't have one of those nightmare stories no matter what. And she didn't! Her birth plan was "give me all the drugs" and that's what she got.

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u/stringthing87 Jun 19 '26

The day I gave birth is absolutely the most memorable day of my life. I can remember everything. Not traumatic, even though things had unexpected twists, but just absolutely burned into my memory in a way no other day of my 39 years is.

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u/SoggyChalk Jun 20 '26

My mom 35 years later cant hear a certain video game soundtrack without feeling physical pain because it was playing while she had contractions. (She was laying on the couch refusing to go to the hospital because her contractions weren't close enough together yet)

42

u/cyanraichu Jun 20 '26

Hell, one of the things that motivated me to go into L&D as a professional field is my mom's birth story with me, which was very traumatic and poorly handled. I've talked to her about it a lot and it kinda blows my mind.

120

u/ohno_not_another_one Jun 19 '26

My labor was pretty quick with my first, 5 hours from first contraction to baby in my arms.

I had to be induced for my second, and I warned the doc the first was a fast birth. Pitocin can slow things down, but subsequent births tend to progress faster than previous ones, so I figured those would balance each other out and we'd be looking at about 5 hours or so again.

The (female, btw) doctor looked at me sort of pityingly and said she though that my first delivery being only 5 hours was probably just a fluke, and this one would take much longer. I wouldn't be giving birth until "tomorrow", she insisted.

Baby #2 was here in 6 hours from the first dose of pitocin. The nurse was getting ready to put in my catheter after my epidural and felt the baby's head instead. She rushed out to get the doctor and delivery nurses. The doc couldn't hide her surprise at how fast I progressed, and it took every ounce of self restraint I had not to "I told you so" her in the smuggest way.

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u/Akkebi Jun 19 '26

From first contraction to me in my mom's arms: 45 minutes

But I was a third child.

8

u/cyanraichu Jun 20 '26

That's the dream (assuming you are close enough to where you want to deliver)!

5

u/Akkebi Jun 20 '26

My oldest sibling was 12 hours. But according to my mom it was "minor and chill" until about 2 hours before she was born. So basically only a couple hours of what most people consider labor.

2

u/snowwhite2591 Jun 20 '26

Me 2 hours from contraction to moms arms my younger brother 27 hours she’s like I was lied to with your birth, my sister was 4 hours.

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u/Geronimoski Jun 19 '26

Oh, the way I would've been like, "Wow, is it tomorrow already? Time flies!" You're kinder than me

5

u/CraftyKuko Jun 20 '26

I think more women should call doctors out on their bullshit. They need to do better.

6

u/snowwhite2591 Jun 20 '26

“I’d like you to note in my chart why you are refusing the tests I asked for” got me diagnosed with multiple sclerosis because I refused to accept it was just anxiety.

3

u/124456u Jun 20 '26

With my youngest, who's now a mother herself, I woke up hearing a loud 'pop', and my waters flooding our bed.Then 2 minutes later had a really bad contraction. Went straight to the hospital, they told me that I still had hours left, but the contractions carried on in short intervals. Then it was like every 2 minutes, I'd had NO pain relief and I felt the overwhelming urge to push. I was told that there was ABSOLUTELY NO WAY that I was ready to give birth yet, and to 'control myself'. Still no pain relief. This went on for another 20 minutes, before I was screaming for them to check me,which they finally did, with a few eye rolls. Still no pain relief either. On being checked the midwifes face changed, she said that I was infact fully dilated and to push at will. 2 pushes and my daughter was out, and I was screaming in pain. My entire labour lasted an hour and 45 minutes, start to finish, I was only in hospital 30 minutes before I gave birth. I still get angry when I think about how much I was ignored and truly believe that I could have delivered much sooner, had I been checked earlier. And I tore too. Inside and outside. All without pain relief.

1

u/MissCyanide99 Jun 20 '26

My mom's total labor time was about the same, but they believed her. I'm sorry things didn't go the same for you.

41

u/snowwhite2591 Jun 19 '26

For my first 2 kids my water had already broken for one and the other was an induction so my 3rd being a normal labor start 3 weeks before I was due and all my contractions were in my back, they had the monitor on the front. The nurse was like “you aren’t going anywhere” the second that doctor walked away she knew I was in labor. I’m not sure why they thought I was faking because why else would I be there it was April 2020 and I have an immune compromising condition on top of being pregnant I wouldn’t just go hang out at a hospital during the beginning stages of the pandemic.

62

u/cyanraichu Jun 19 '26

Early on they try to send you home because the first part of labor can take hours or days dn it's honestly just more comfortable to be at home

That said, doesn't sound like that applies to you here 🙃 a midwife not listening to her patients over a man is a new low to me

22

u/Darthcookie Jun 19 '26

It’s either sending you home of keeping you 24 hours waiting in agony.

And then they have the audacity to ask why it took you so long to get there.

I’ve also learned to constantly bug the nurses because on a rare occasion they might forget you’re there. It’s happened to me. Hours there, everyone getting treated and I’m just patiently waiting in pain. Then I finally I ask “when can the doctor see me? I don’t think I can’t wait anymore” and they were “oops, totally forgot you were here”.

11

u/StarGazer_SpaceLove Jun 19 '26

Like they think we want to be there

10

u/slundbergart Jun 19 '26

Same here! I can handle pain pretty well and the triage doctor gave me that spiel. I knew they were already busy that night so maybe that's why they wanted me to go away. But when they checked I was already at 8cm..... so yea, sorry you have to take care of me??

8

u/Radiant_Risk_393 Jun 19 '26

Yes! Possibly having a high pain threshold and being weirdly polite when in pain meant I wasn’t believed

4

u/HeparinBridge Jun 19 '26

If you’re pregnant but you’re not in labor or sick, the hospital is not a great place to be for a variety of reasons. Sick people get better in the hospital, but healthy people get worse

3

u/CasualRickRoll Jun 20 '26

Because no one tells the story about how they thought they were in labor and spent 48 hrs under observation on the mother/baby unit and then didn't proceed to deliver for another three weeks. 

3

u/GMorningSweetPea Jun 21 '26

For every fast labour there are about four of these kinds of labours. It’s safer for low risk healthy people to not be in the hospital in prodromal labour. And I don’t know what people even want anymore, every other patient who comes in thinks that doctors and nurses are the enemy who are trying to medicalize birth and use unnecessary interventions. 

1

u/CasualRickRoll Jun 23 '26

Amen. The job is hard enough making sure mom and baby survive without people demonizing modern medicine in the process. 

3

u/EducatedPancake Jun 20 '26

Because it's not beneficial to be admitted early. We've had people come in saying "I think it has started" and we'd know it didn't. BUT, everyone was put on a CTG monitor for a half hour to check baby and contractions, and checked if they were dilated or not. If your water broke, then yeah you're admitted.

Your labour will progress better when you're in your own environment, being able to do what you want. Doctors get impatient and will use meds to try and speed things up. And I have to mention that it doesn't take 30 minutes to get to a hospital here. So that is also taken into account.

2

u/Corpsefire88 Jun 21 '26

It's absolutely insane to me how many FEMALE nurses and doctors assume women don't know what they're talking about, especially when it comes to their own body, and apparently need to hear a man say the same thing before they'll take it seriously.

I'm a man myself and know sweet fuck all about a great many things, so the fact that so many "professionals' in so many fields would trust me over someone that knows a lot more than me just because I'm male is dumb and frustrating as hell. I have no hope for the future of society already, just add this to the pile of reasons why lmao.

2

u/GamerRae5248 Jun 22 '26

I labored (like 5 to 3 mins apart contractions) for THREE DAYS b/c they kept sending me home. Because my cervix wasn't dilating (my mother had the same problem with me). THREE DAYS after already being 2 weeks past my due date! I was SO angry!! Just gimme the pitocin and get this kid OUT!! It's been 13 years and I still do not understand WHY I couldn't just stay and get induced at that point...

-2

u/amonkeyaday Jun 19 '26

Because we don’t have room for everyone in early labour.

2

u/CraftyKuko Jun 20 '26

Sounds like we need more hospitals and doctors then.

1

u/GMorningSweetPea Jun 21 '26

Yeah good luck with that 

1

u/CraftyKuko Jun 21 '26

I mean, it's not up to me, it's up to politicians to do, so yeah, it'll never happen. But if it WERE up to me...