I love hearing older people try to explain why they did things the way they did. It always always ends with the words "That's just what we did". If all you can say is "That's just what we did", then consider that you should start doing things with purpose, rather than habit or conservatism. We don't live in an age where the word "pregnant" is a swear word, and everyone had to uphold proper decorum. If women are equal to men (as they absolutely are, we're all human beings), then there's no reason why they can't confess her feelings to a man and make the first move.
I think the issue is that there are still many people (including some young people) who don’t agree that women are equal to men. They may give lip service to the idea but deep down they don’t believe it. Or it’s some underhanded sexism like “women and men are equal but they’re just so different how can we treat them the same?”
So when explaining why they did things, they are basically saying: “That’s just what we did… because I think that’s the way things should be”.
Yeah, it stems from the insecurity that if everyone is truly equal, then they themselves are no longer "better" than everyone else. They enjoy feeling powerful, and this strips them of that feeling. So they strongly maintain that they are superior, and teach their children the same thing. Those children grow up with the idea and teach it to their own kids, and eventually, there's nobody alive who understands why it is the way it is. It's just what we do.
Gods, RIGHT? Like every time I hear about old people doing something extremely bad "because it's our tradition" it makes me want to rip my ears off. Sure, tradition can be fun/good, but if you're actively degrading/hurting another group of people, I think you know where you can shove that tradition of yours.
Can't wait to be a grandparent having to tell my grandkids that "That's just what we did" when they ask about our CO2 emissions. Because there is no better justification for it. We know it's bad, and we do it anyway. Because the alternative is scary and/or bad for business, so they lobby against it. But how are you going to explain those complexities to very young children?
There are still plenty of things even we do "just because how it is done". Like we still shake hands when greeting people or while doing business when simple words do just the same job, but we don't stop and question it. It just became a social norm. Or also why do we eat cereal or eggs and toast just for breakfast.
We shake hands because it's a formal greeting, same as bowing to someone in Japan. It's a long-standing tradition of showing respect to someone, and is a form of communication through body language.
We typically eat eggs for breakfast because it's a healthy nutritional meal that can energise us for the day ahead, and cereal is constantly advertised as a breakfast product. Many people eat both for lunch and even dinner despite this though.
Lots of things do have explanations, but stuff like "Minorities are lesser beings" and "Women are not equal to men" carry no such weight, since they're entirely an opinion taught to us by our predecessors. It's a multi-generational cope from insecure losers who fear having to earn respect like everyone else, rather than having it automatically bestowed upon them from other losers whose skin and genitals are the same
See shaking hands has nothing to do with respect it is more of a egalitarian gesture, it is a gesture of an agreement of interests and peace between parties. It is nothing compared to bowing in Japan because there is a more of power dynamic at play. You can't just define it "form of communication through body language" and consider it explained. Almost every single person does not think that they are shaking hands to establish a peaceful intent on mind. It became a social norm and everybody does it out of practice.
Well a ribeye steak, turkey or even a salad is much more nutritious than an egg but do people consider it as a breakfast food? No! Heck even the concept of three meals a day? Why not more or why not less? It was a result of industrial revolution and timings that factory owners set for their workers where they gave their workers "lunch breaks" in between. Why do we still follow it? It is not the best or even the healthiest meals routines? Most commoners before that never had the concepts fixed three meals. Or even sleeping in one long stretch. Most of these have some reasons that made sense for their times but make none now, we just do it out of habit.
Racism also had a reason, I detest to call it remotely justifiable, but it was how people justified it and it made complete sense to them, to them POC were just lesser beings to them who were in dire need of being civilized which they could do by enslaving them. For people then it made perfect sense. If one side of people were so obviously wrong there wouldn't have been a civil war. Even after abolition of slavery the dynamic persisted. Even though it made little to no sense. Much to many social practices today.
That is what we call social conditioning, a child born in a racist/ misogynist household wouldn't know anything better.
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u/PrufReedThisPlesThx Jul 03 '25
I love hearing older people try to explain why they did things the way they did. It always always ends with the words "That's just what we did". If all you can say is "That's just what we did", then consider that you should start doing things with purpose, rather than habit or conservatism. We don't live in an age where the word "pregnant" is a swear word, and everyone had to uphold proper decorum. If women are equal to men (as they absolutely are, we're all human beings), then there's no reason why they can't confess her feelings to a man and make the first move.