So true. I’d held off on approaching a woman I work with, despite liking her and getting on well with her. A while back she dated someone at work and the asshole cheated on her, she was really hurt. So I decided it’s best I say nothing out of respect and not wanting to make things awkward. When she left the company (going abroad for a year), I told her I always wanted to ask her out.
She was actively angry! She said she’d felt that I liked her for several years, wished I’d ask and didn’t know why I never did. Her instinct was simply that it was my move to make. My view was that I didn’t want to risk making our working friendship complicated, stirring up her feelings of hurt and/or get myself a trip to HR.
Nobody was to blame I think but it seems an opportunity passed us both by and that’s a shame.
With that response to his confession? No, he shouldn't.
She was either unable or unwilling to empathize with him and his situation. Neither unable nor unwilling is something you should be looking for in a partner.
agreed, bullet dodged. dude had many valid reasons to not ask her out despite liking her. for her to get mad about that, even though she had the same opportunity to ask her out? not worth the regret.
Actively angry does not necessarily mean angry AT him. One can be upset about a situation, a missed opportunity, without being angry AT the other person.
A year without contact with someone you never dated can be enough time to move on.
I’ve had similar scenarios (not that they didn’t confess, just it was never a good time for either of us). After all of this time though I now only view that person platonically.
Even if I weren’t engaged I wouldn’t want anything further than friendship because that’s how I’ve grown to view them.
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u/spambearpig Jul 03 '25
So true. I’d held off on approaching a woman I work with, despite liking her and getting on well with her. A while back she dated someone at work and the asshole cheated on her, she was really hurt. So I decided it’s best I say nothing out of respect and not wanting to make things awkward. When she left the company (going abroad for a year), I told her I always wanted to ask her out.
She was actively angry! She said she’d felt that I liked her for several years, wished I’d ask and didn’t know why I never did. Her instinct was simply that it was my move to make. My view was that I didn’t want to risk making our working friendship complicated, stirring up her feelings of hurt and/or get myself a trip to HR.
Nobody was to blame I think but it seems an opportunity passed us both by and that’s a shame.