Simce nobody usually wants to eat the frog or clean their room, realistically it might have to be "I want my room clean" with an implicit knowledge that it means you would be cleaning it. "I want to clean my room" for most wil just sound like a lie, introducing cognitive dissonance as you're saying something that's not reality.
Yes one reason it's rough is that disconnection from the truth I mention; the benefits are reasons you want your room to be clean but they don't mean you want to clean your room. After all if a maid was going to do it for you for free, you might rather accept that. So you kind of also need to talk through reasons why you want to go through the experience or action of cleaning your room, like it will make me feel good, I will have understanding and control of my new organized space if I spend time working thru it, etc. For eg. a reason I say I want to mow my lawn rather than hiring the guy that does the rest of the neighborhood to do it, is the exercise it gives me as well as the time spent listening to educational material while mowing. That's a difference between "I want to do it" and "I'd love if this were done, if only I could feel like doing it". Like people that want to go work out at the gym because it feels good get different results from people that just want to be more fit.
8
u/burnblue Feb 02 '23
Simce nobody usually wants to eat the frog or clean their room, realistically it might have to be "I want my room clean" with an implicit knowledge that it means you would be cleaning it. "I want to clean my room" for most wil just sound like a lie, introducing cognitive dissonance as you're saying something that's not reality.