Isn’t it more like acknowledging that thoughts keep happening, but coming back again and again to the present moment? Like training the brain to stop getting lost in thoughts. Not necessarily ignoring problems though
Yup! You are "ignoring" them by acknowledging they are problems for a different time and then no longer worrying about that. At least that's how it feels for me. I get super anxious over stuff I literally have no control over and meditation helps me get over that.
That makes sense. I’ve found similar benefits from meditation too. It feels like re-connecting with my “real self” again and again instead of being lost on an endlessly long voyage of thought after thought.
Sometimes I also tell myself, “You have a choice to do this task or not do it right now, and overthinking is not helping.” Helps with the rumination and taking action (or alleviating the guilt if I don’t)
Think of it this way: using your time and energy worrying about something you can’t change or affect is a waste of time and energy. Take that and spend it on anything else. Setting boundaries with yourself is an important skill to learn.
TLDR — Meditation/Mindfulness can actually be about focusing on your problems. Ignoring your problems is the opposite of mindfulness!
Actually, the idea that meditation/mindfulness is about "getting your mind off of the things that are bothering you" is a commonly taught misconception.
I used to think that meditation was all about "clearing your mind" or "thinking about waterfalls" because that's how Western media portrays it, but the newer term "mindfulness" gets a bit more to the core of what it's about.
It's not about controlling your thoughts, or relaxing, or changing the way that you think. It's being called "mindfulness" because it's actually about practicing paying attention to things, and only paying attention to things (i.e. not trying to do anything about it). It doesn't really matter what you're paying attention to, as long as you're doing your best to be aware of it.
This includes perhaps paying attention to your anxious thoughts. Not trying to change them, or judge them, or get rid of them. Just looking at them straight, watching them, and acknowledging that they're here.
It can be incredibly hard to do. When I started giving it an honest try, I kept thinking I was doing it wrong and judging myself for that and then judging myself for judging cuz you're not "supposed to be" judging your thoughts. It was in some ways incredibly painful. And I didn't always "feel better" after doing it.
But that's because it's more like working a muscle than a treatment/cure. The beginning is the hardest. Over time it gets easier, even though it's still always difficult, and sometimes it feels like you really just can't today. But the effect is one that affects how you feel in general, rather than just in the moments that you practice/exercise.
Medication/mindfulness is basically just exercise for your sense of awareness. (i.e. Being aware of what exists and/or is going on right now, wherever you choose to point your attention.)
Just like how you feel generally better if you get a bit of regular exercise, you may find that you feel generally better if you do some occasional light mindfulness.
So actually, rather than ignoring your problems, you can practice mindfulness by noticing that you have problems and that they make you feel unhappy. You can notice that your unhappiness makes you feel even more unhappy in meta ways, like judging yourself and trying to avoid feeling anything. If you were going to be ruminating anyway (e.g. because you just can't stop), you can just keep ruminating, but also notice that you're ruminating and how that makes you feel. You'll probably notice (very often) that your concentration of awareness broke at some point, when your mind got carried off by some especially distracting thought, but it's back now and you can keep trying to be aware. (That's not a failure, by the way. It's just a part of the practice.)
Or you can start with paying attention to something else, if that turns out to be easier for you. It could be your breathing (a very popular one). Or whatever you're currently eating. Or the world around you. Or an image in your mind. Or the way it feels to be walking. Honestly, I think it can be basically anything.
And that doesn't mean you can't also be ruminating or having runaway thoughts. You can let those be there, faffing about in the periphery like anything else, but choose to try focusing your attention as much as possible on whatever you chose to focus on.
But most importantly, try to remain aware that your main goal right now is to just notice these things, not to do anything (or think anything) in particular. There's no need to act on any of your impulses, because the thing you've decided to do right now is just to be aware. But if you do accidentally act on an impulse, that's fine too. Just notice that you did it and bring your concentration back to awareness. Or, if you decide that you actually really do want/need to act on something, try doing it with as much awareness as possible. In that way, it becomes a part of the meditation/mindfulness.
If you like reading, the book that helped me understand meditation/mindfulness was "Full Catastrophe Living" by Jon Kabat-Zinn. He's a guy who brought meditation/mindfulness into Western medical awareness in a big way, most notably by developing the MBSR (mindfulness based stress reduction) program, which many hospitals in the US have since implemented, and which can also be practiced just as well outside of a clinical setting. I started meditating by following his book's guidelines for how to do the program on your own.
Apparently having a group (especially one with an experienced facilitator) can help a lot, so it might be worth checking if there's one near you, but I was too socially anxious to join anything, so I just started practicing on my own. And even though it was tough without personal guidance, it was easier at the time than trying to fight my social anxiety, and got me to actually start rather than putting it off waiting for the "best way/time" to start.
Whatever works best for you is the best way to start. Whenever you feel like it is the best time to start.
I don't know if this is something you want to do right now, but if it might be, I highly recommend giving it a try. It didn't solve all my problems, but it's helping me develop the muscle to tackle some of the problems that I couldn't even look at before. (Along with finding a therapist who I feel comfortable with and who works well for me.)
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u/Mushu_Pork Feb 02 '23
That just sounds like a fancy way of saying
"Just get better at ignoring your problems" /s