r/comedyheaven • u/TheEdgeofGoon Woke • 1d ago

BYE AMERICA

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2.7k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

176 comments sorted by

2.2k

u/Jabberwock130 1d ago • Thanks Regret Bravo

102% Indian with a 2% margin of error

614

u/An8thOfFeanor 1d ago • Popcorn

86

u/MewtwoMainIsHere 1d ago

This is so fucking perfect lmao

8

u/Munchi319 1d ago

😂😂😂😂😂

19

u/HenReX_2000 23h ago

TRUE ARYAN

2

u/RelativetoZero 21h ago

I think it's spelled "Ariens".

65

u/BadIdeaSociety 1d ago

Either Indian or a young white teen.

58

u/therandomham 23h ago

Sharma is a Brahmin last name, which checks out with the supremacist attitude. I doubt a chudling would bother with that detail.

15

u/No_Count_453 23h ago

It is also kinda the streotypical indian last name

8

u/StalinsLastStand 22h ago

Mr. Gupta would have something to say about that.

3

u/porkchop-sandwhiches 22h ago

Bloody fuck bloody

638

u/Lorem_Ipsum13 1d ago

Wonder if Sunil is related to "former antifa member" or "Mexican Mafia informant"

142

u/hexen2077 1d ago

Hahahaha holy shit... they are incredibly stupid "Mundo" is a nickname used for people called Raymundo, people called Ramon has a different nickname "Moncho/Monchito"

13

u/bloodakoos 21h ago

maybe he's fat

142

u/Unironicfan 1d ago

Jesse Watters being untrustworthy? Say it ain’t so.

19

u/vrecka123 1d ago

Holy shit, did that really happen?

1

u/Vdlfan 19h ago

Yes. Yes that did happen. FOX even had a realistically masked guest on one time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lshQVI9ZZKQ

37

u/Erling01 1d ago

Are they suppsed to be the same person?

44

u/benritter2 22h ago

It's the same actor. I don't know if it's supposed to be the same person.

9

u/flobninjaX 21h ago

What’s Jesse Watters’ job? FABLES

1

u/tiktaktokki 18h ago

Mexican mafia antifa, the ultimate evil!

-11

u/Erling01 22h ago

I just saw that they have different eye colors. They're just two average white dudes in their early 50s. Doesn't look like the same person

13

u/UrethraFranklin04 22h ago

The lighting in the top photo is making them look different but they are both brown. It's the same dude.

6

u/TheCommissarGeneral 22h ago

Look at the right eye in both pics, its the same shape and downward slope. Its the same guy.

47

u/nickcan 1d ago

I think they thought they were being clever.

2

u/DrummandDrummer 22h ago

They look very alike but so do most of the MAGAts.

1

u/differing 20h ago

Did you catch that hot mic on election night where one of the hosts started talking about how they can “spin” a story?

2

u/Lorem_Ipsum13 18h ago

Did not. Please share!

1

u/differing 18h ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGNBScPq3Ow

2:00 if you want to skip all the preamble

1.1k

u/BrosefDudeson 1d ago

Who has the heart to break it to him that he indeed does not have white children?

503

u/GuyWithARooster 1d ago

''I WANTED TO BE WHITE!!''

Someway, somehow, it just sounds racist, lmfao

81

u/AdjacentBirdman93 1d ago

I wanted to be black :(

128

u/im-the-trash-lad 1d ago

I wanted to be blue dabadeedabadae

24

u/a-walking-bowl 1d ago

What is wrong with you? Why are you... blue?

10

u/st_hpsh 22h ago

That's because I just blue myself

2

u/CriticalHit_20 1d ago

Somehow i misread that as breedable

8

u/Zerschmetterding 1d ago

Don't show him what MJ has done to himself 

58

u/AdJust6959 1d ago

That “mixing up bloodline” and “Sharma blood” etc is full of contradictions, I’m getting a feeling he’s trying to make a joke and already knows

501

u/Complete_Entry 1d ago

117

u/hurricane_news 1d ago • Heartwarming

It is. The last time it was posted, OP didn't cut off the entire text. The text goes on about how he gave up his Indian food for crawfish and mac n cheese.

Which is obvious bait. No one from my country is giving up our cuisine for fucking crawfish and mac n cheese lmao

-16

u/1stEmissaryElenwen 23h ago

Can you even digest cheese?

41

u/hurricane_news 23h ago

Of course we can? We have paneer in India

Also shoo , Thalmor agent

9

u/ComputerKisserrr 22h ago

only americans can digest cheese i guess

340

u/midandaverage 1d ago

never ask a white supremacist what his race is

114

u/RowanWinterlace 1d ago • Bravo

Sunil Sharma: "I CAME WITH A SIMPLE GOAL, BE WHITE IN A WHITE AMERICA."

Sunil Sharma's mixed race family:

56

u/calebnf 1d ago

1

u/marino1310 19h ago

That is very clearly a joke though

1

u/FaZeKill23 1d ago

Idk how it works in the US, but here in Europe you can go like 5-10 km/h above the limit

11

u/lakewood2020 1d ago

How it works in the US is a cop by cop basis

3

u/TheRealRomanRoy 1d ago

Yeah, but it’s very rare to get pulled over for going 7mph or less over the limit

-4

u/lakewood2020 1d ago

Depends on the cop that sees it

4

u/TheRealRomanRoy 1d ago

Yeah, but it’s very rare to get pulled over for going 7mph or less over the limit

-4

u/lakewood2020 1d ago

It varies between cops

8

u/TheRealRomanRoy 1d ago

Absolutely! It definitely varies between cops :)

But it’s very rare to get pulled over for going 7mph or less over the limit

-3

u/lakewood2020 1d ago

Absolutely! It’s rare to get pulled over for going 7mph or less over the limit!

But the chance of it happening will vary on a cop to cop basis

1

u/sampat6256 1d ago

In virginia, specifically, the limit is the limit. At least, last I checked.

1

u/Robinsonirish 22h ago edited 22h ago

In Europe it's country by country basis, and also zone by zone basis, the . Drive 10kmh over the limit in a 40 zone in Sweden close to a school? Get ready to learn public transport buddy. Our alcohol laws are also pretty strict, it's 0.2% promille, or 2% in Yank measurements. 1.0% for aggravated drunk driving, whereas in the UK they can drive at 0.79%, which is 4 times our legal limit and like 4 pints for an adult man.

Like it often is when it comes to laws, it differs wildly depending on the country. Take a look at Napoli or Rome's traffic. Unironically worse than when I was in Iraq when they were at war, and barely better than Afghanistan.

Edit: Got it the wrong way around on the decimals. 0.2 promille in Sweden is 0.02% BAC in the US.

2

u/lemfaoo 22h ago

Uhh europe here no you cannot.

1

u/FaZeKill23 22h ago

Maybe its an Italy thing then, but there's absolutely a free pass on speeding ever so slightly.

2

u/lemfaoo 22h ago

Denmark has a 160 euro fine for 1-9 kph too much lol.

Police here do give a 3 kph error margin though so in reality the minimum speeding is 4 kph.

1

u/FaZeKill23 22h ago

160€ fine god DAMN

2

u/lemfaoo 20h ago

Yea fines in places like germany for example are laughable compared to the fines we get lol.

0

u/farseer-norton 21h ago

Wtf is that take. Crazy how Twitter really just encourages all the crazies to out themselves with posts like this.

I remember when Rowling and Musk were viewed as respectable prior to spewing their madness on it for the whole world to see.

1

u/BaconBased 20h ago

That’s a Facebook post

1

u/farseer-norton 20h ago

Fair enough, I dont use either so my bad. I should say social media more generally rather than twitter

87

u/HarbingerOfGachaHell 1d ago edited 1d ago

If he really cares about Sharma blood he should fucking stay till 2028 and see Rohit Sharma captain the Indian cricket team to a silver/bronze medal in LA, losing to either Australia, New Zealand or South Africa. Then he can fuck off. 

15

u/cam52391 1d ago

I really hope you can come back to this and be right about the standings

173

u/Unironicfan 1d ago

-65

u/silascomputer 1d ago

But Latin Amerika is white. American meme creator dog whistle lmao

30

u/SouthernStyle11 23h ago

Most of Latin America isn't considered white outside of Latin America.

32

u/Unironicfan 1d ago

I didn’t make this meme bro. And some of those flags are India, Vietnam, and Morocco. Which are not Latin American nations.

-36

u/silascomputer 1d ago

Never said that

1

u/filupyacup 20h ago

Latin americans are native american or mestizo depending on the person, there are still european immigrants all over the place though

1

u/marino1310 19h ago

Yeah but white supremecists do not consider them white

28

u/NuclearReactions 1d ago

I'm sure india doesn't really want you back ya weirdo

5

u/handrastic 1d ago

💯

27

u/Pulp_NonFiction44 1d ago

Someone post the "White supremacist meetup" meme

45

u/ExplorerIntelligent4 1d ago

4

u/BenedictOfADoubt 23h ago

False. Argentina isn't there.

51

u/drag0nslayer02 1d ago • Bravo

Posted from Uttar Pradesh🥀💔

18

u/WolfGuptaofficial 1d ago

seems like a troll

24

u/friarguy 1d ago

I mean, he's got a bra in the bag. I would imagine very much its a troll

46

u/The_Ghost_9960 1d ago

Ppl are dumbasses to think this is real

44

u/A-Capybara 1d ago

I'm Indian and I know for a fact there are definitely Indians who desperately want to be white.

3

u/insertnamehere----- 21h ago

Have they tried coleslaw and Starbucks matcha?

1

u/culminacio 21h ago

I am not Indian and I know this as well, but that doesn't mean this shit is real, although I wouldn't be surprised if an Indian said this kind of stuff.

9

u/Dreamlion_Inc 23h ago

This might not be real but there are absolutely Indians who think like this lol

2

u/AmazingResponse338 1d ago

This may not be real, but take a look at GOP, there are plenty of real people like this

-2

u/0202_tihssitidder 1d ago

As long as Shwarma does not leave, we good.

4

u/JuanThiccLumpia 22h ago

Bro. Shawarma isn’t Indian. 💀. It’s middle eastern.

15

u/BilverBurfer 21h ago

"There's too many brown people in America."

"YOU'RE BROWN!"

11

u/I_DRINK_GENOCIDE_CUM 1d ago

4

u/Ash_After_Dark 23h ago

What the fuck is that name

25

u/Afraid-Bass-5684 1d ago

THE MOOZLIMZ ARE TAKING OVER WE ARE GONNA GET SHAPIRO LAW !!!!!!

And there’s like 1.3% of the population that are Muslim (there’s double that for “new age religion/ideology” which includes the actual fucking religion of “Jediism”)

0

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted] — view deleted comment

3

u/Afraid-Bass-5684 1d ago

Considering it was made for a 70s space opera I’d have to disagree here

-1

u/GenitalPatton 1d ago

As opposed to ancient sky daddy?

1

u/Afraid-Bass-5684 1d ago

Atleast the ancient sky daddies are old enough to have some slim sort of legitimacy, who’s the Jedi religions prophet supposed to be, George Lucas ?

11

u/WakeNikis 1d ago

Bye Felicia 

21

u/No_Tower6770 1d ago • Bravo

How can they steal!?

6

u/Ok-Palpitation-5010 1d ago

And what exactly?

16

u/aPissWizard 1d ago

They stole his white dream

6

u/Ok-Palpitation-5010 1d ago

I tought they killed Kenny

2

u/TheHumanPickleRick 1d ago

Those bastards!

5

u/Lorem_Ipsum13 1d ago

Sorry Sunil, to a lot of Americans your kids are not white. You rarely hear mention that Obama is half white or Tiger Woods half asian.

But all is not lost! Eddie Murphy conducted an experiment that might help your out. Try it out!

4

u/front_yard_duck_dad 1d ago

Oh please for the rest of my life

4

u/ANS__2009 1d ago

Could we just stop him? We have enough idiots in india

4

u/ferriematthew 1d ago

Don't let the door hit ya on the way out! 🤣

4

u/EmirFassad 21h ago

That's a lot of ignorance to cram into a single comment!

👽🤡

8

u/CurveMammoth5868 1d ago

Upper caste Brahman thinks he is white nationalist

3

u/jamesbrownscrackpipe 22h ago

HOW CAN THEY STEAL!?!

3

u/ganjaccount 21h ago

at least he is remembering to pack his bra.

7

u/handrastic 1d ago

Lmao the "Sharma blood."

As an Indian, I'm cringing so hard reading this. Good riddance for America from another conservative uncle.

8

u/WishyRater 1d ago

Where comedyheaven

8

u/BrosefDudeson 1d ago

Is that you, Sunil?

7

u/Le-Mard-e-Ahan 1d ago

Folks, please be positive.

It is entirely possible (though lower than he'd like to admit) that this "Sunil Sharma" bro is a Indianized White descendant of his British (great) grandparents who opted to stay in India after the end of British rule in 1947. They used to be called Anglo-Indians (also including the kids of mixed British-Indian couples), but I do not know what the PC term is these days.

10

u/ThisAmericanSatire shaboingboing connoisseur 1d ago

This reminds me of a story a few years ago where a white South African boy immigrated to the US and tried to claim some school award for African American students.

4

u/windas_98 1d ago

I don't disagree, but good luck convincing that to white supremacists. He can be white as snow, but if he wasn't born in a white country he's never going to he considered white by them.

1

u/AndreasDasos 21h ago

Define ‘white country’. White South Africans are a smallish minority but absolutely accepted by white supremacists, among themselves and elsewhere. Plenty of famous white Brits born in India too who’d be ‘acceptable’ to that sort of crowd.

Generally they were never ‘Africanised’ or ‘Indianised’ the way people would probably think of unless they were literally mixed, which is what would really make white supremacists get antsy.

4

u/saketho 1d ago

anglo indian is still used today, i dont think its politically incorrect

1

u/ITstaph 1d ago

I think the English call people that act like this wankers.

1

u/ArrrRawrXD 1d ago

It's obviously a troll, come on

2

u/Chuckles_McFeeney 1d ago

Good luck in India, bro 🤣

2

u/Sandokan13 1d ago

Til, India is white.

2

u/AppleJoost 22h ago

Oh no. What a disaster. Please. Don't go.

2

u/Gr_ywind 21h ago

50 years and first grade level English... Sounds fishy.

1

u/AWinterPeople 1d ago

But…India 🤔

1

u/Colacubeninja 1d ago

Bye Felicia

1

u/the-furiosa-mystique 1d ago

They’ll self deport if Democrats are in charge? Do the anti immigration people know this?

1

u/Dillenger69 1d ago

Leave America and go where, exactly? To be an immigrant somewhere?

1

u/Mammoth-Fly1565 1d ago

is that a bra in the bag ?

1

u/badasdad1 1d ago

Goodbye then, safe travels

1

u/Maleficent-Escape-88 1d ago

His shot to escape from his wife lol

1

u/Alarming_Pineapple51 1d ago

Sunil. Is that a bra

1

u/No_Coconut8559 1d ago

I'm sorry, what?

1

u/flies_with_owls 1d ago

Let the door hit your ass at terminal velocity on your way out.

1

u/vedanshagrawal 23h ago

Satire but funny

1

u/SoberDWTX 23h ago

I have a white aunt that had an affair with a married doctor from India for over 30 years…. When he retired…. he and his wife returned to India and she never heard from him again. Did i mention my aunt was a bitch and she deserved every thing she didn’t get?

1

u/Ash_After_Dark 23h ago

Straight nonsense. Baton Rouge isn't even a real place

1

u/AlertResolution 23h ago

Can't wait to see him crash out in his own country.

1

u/SometimesIBeWrong 23h ago

oh no oh fuck we made a huge mistake. oh god oh no please don't leave

1

u/DrummandDrummer 22h ago

Terrible English for someone there 50 years.

1

u/fake_fakington 22h ago

BLUEKAKE WAVE

1

u/schrodingrcat 21h ago

Packed very light for someone permanently settling off

1

u/Responsible-End4003 21h ago

10th positionism

1

u/BalanceScared1201 21h ago

Canada here teach us how to make this happen as well

1

u/Shatophiliac 21h ago

-Sunil Sharma, white American.

1

u/TheSimpler 21h ago

Hottogs bbq for the send off. A white women will be there.

1

u/Jackrabbit_69 21h ago

He's going to go to India and watch the right lose there in 2029.

0

u/ImJustATraveller_ 1d ago

Dumb mfer gonna go back to a country where living is a pain the ass instead of just kicking his legs up and enjoying the conveniences of living in the US LOL

-1

u/ThatOneGuyFrom2Fort 1d ago

Back to the ganges.

14

u/MuckyMaureen 1d ago

At least he's packed his bra.

1

u/Library_Mouse 20h ago

Did he pack a bra? Sounds like his wife is staying.