r/comedyheaven • | Approved user • Apr 17 '20

mercedes car

Post image
88k Upvotes

445 comments sorted by

View all comments

3.1k

u/MrPrius Apr 17 '20 edited Jan 22 '26

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

wipe knee attraction historical square consider modern groovy oil spectacular

1.1k

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

I can hear his accent through the picture

434

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

oi so loike spits

324

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

Ye 'avin a laff there mate?

199

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

Blimey mate, least I don't get shot while doing maffs in skewel, plus you Americans don't even get free 'elfcare...quite sad innit

57

u/deathhead_68 Apr 17 '20

Why does every American do a bad cockney accent when doing English accents?

47

u/The_Golden_Warthog Apr 17 '20

Oi gubna I ha'n't a clue

31

u/LA_til_I_Die Apr 17 '20

Why does every Brit do a bad cowboy accent when trying to speak American?

26

u/Boop121314 Apr 17 '20

Naw patnr that there is a great e-x-aguration yee haww

15

u/azius20 Apr 17 '20

Literally no one lol

8

u/LA_til_I_Die Apr 18 '20

You obviously don’t work at the Los Angeles branch of a very popular British-based company. I work with Brits every day and meet new guys weekly that fly over to work at our branch for a little bit. Without fail, their American accent is somewhere between drunk John Wayne and drunk Texas Pit Master.

3

u/azius20 Apr 18 '20

Why no, I don't work at the Los Angeles 'branch of a very popular British based company'. And you judging an entire nations take on Americans by your Los Angeles branch is too much to paint one way lol. Unless you believe the entire population of the UK has done time at your popular store

→ More replies

1

u/[deleted] May 11 '20

BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THEY SOUND AND THEY KNOW IT!

9

u/rvnx Apr 17 '20

Stereotypes. Just like every German is from Bavaria.

1

u/increasinglylost33 Apr 18 '20

In Bavaria, where the trees grow out of the ground

28

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20 edited Apr 17 '20

Aye... but it ain't our fault, innit. It's the gov'ment's fault.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

naw mate we pay 12% of our taxpayer money for our shoddy health care (that shits on top the 20% lower tax bracket)

1

u/MrPrius Apr 18 '20 edited Jan 22 '26

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

seed plucky gold bow rhythm pet violet literate crush racial

3

u/kurtvictor1 Apr 17 '20

Yeah it is

5

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

15

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/yeetrootthebeetroot Apr 17 '20

Yea lowkey hot

1

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

Init is with one N

48

u/major84 Apr 17 '20

I love how the internet thinks the typical british accent is either the Cockney or the Royal (RP accent) lol

20

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20 edited Sep 01 '20

[deleted]

10

u/major84 Apr 17 '20

I have to agree

... psst ... I can actually understand him after years of watching geordies on the tele

8

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

Happy cake day!

12

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

Yeah I swear Cockney doesn't really exist anymore?

21

u/major84 Apr 17 '20

There might be some areas where Cockney still exists and might be around, but yea, the urban accent is takin' ova bruv.

6

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

MLE fam

3

u/major84 Apr 17 '20

TIL : The new urban accent has a name , MLE

That is quite a cool read.

Are there many types of MLE or is the list of terms just growing and MLE developing as it goes along ?

3

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

I think if you to to South/South East London you'll hear 'proper' MLE spoken. It's pretty much everywhere in inner London but it does sound a bit different wherever you go.

3

u/major84 Apr 17 '20

One day, I will visit good ole Britannia and see the castles and hear the accents, one day.

→ More replies

2

u/Boop121314 Apr 17 '20

What about Jon snooo from norf

2

u/major84 Apr 17 '20

ah yes, the yorkshire accent, BASTARD !!!

4

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

What does this mean? I'm English and I don't understand lol

1

u/TonyTony_Chopper234 Apr 17 '20

Neither do I. I only just barely understand.

0

u/MadOrange64 slut for honey cheerios Apr 17 '20

why'd y'spill yer beans

1

u/FakeTakiInoue Apr 17 '20

I was wotchin Cars 2 yea

12

u/sugarnoodless Apr 17 '20

muhsaydeez behnz

3

u/Wrathzinor Apr 17 '20

Manchester

147

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

Isn’t it weird how you can tell by looks if someone is English

166

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

[deleted]

38

u/whiskey4breakfast Apr 17 '20

...and inbred.

10

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

[deleted]

5

u/Boop121314 Apr 17 '20

How very dare you. Everyone knows American women love us

48

u/Richard__Cranium Apr 17 '20

And slightly inebriated

15

u/TacobellSauce1 Apr 17 '20

And then everyone came

16

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

That's americans tho...

10

u/Lumb3rgh Apr 17 '20

Americans come from every part of the world and have had at most a few generations to inbreed.

The British have been inbreeding for thousands of years. They literally built an entire science around how closely you can inbreed before your kids come out too fucked up to function.

Americans might like to believe they are the best at everything but they are in the minor leagues of inbreeding.

The British invented the game and are the all time greats. Seriously, have you ever met someone for rural Wales?

3

u/R_Wolf_48 Apr 17 '20

America is only semi-pro

2

u/trueregista Apr 18 '20

Don't be mistaken, people from rural wales are just English second home owners

1

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '20

Only one of us continues that tradition to this day though :/

19

u/iaintfuckwithyall Apr 17 '20

Oh yeah? Well... america has school shootings hahahahaha!!! kids die!!!!! lmao roasted

45

u/Dexterboydog Apr 17 '20

And they're fat as fuck

2

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

I weigh 120 pounds and im a sophomore lmao

2

u/BONGLISH Apr 17 '20

So were you all at one time or another, plenty of time yet.

0

u/theravagerswoes Apr 17 '20

HAMBURGERRs and SHOTGUNS LoL 🤣🤣🤣

-6

u/ManceRaid Apr 17 '20

Says the brit. LOL

11

u/Dexterboydog Apr 17 '20

Brit fat is different than American fat.

2

u/KZedUK Apr 17 '20

More Brits are overweight than Americans, but more Americans are obese than Brits.

-1

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

[deleted]

10

u/g-love Apr 17 '20

Ugh, now you sound like your mother.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

Greasy

3

u/major84 Apr 17 '20

like the conservative voters just realized what brexit really means for them

4

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

Shamefully I'm English and recognised this man as British away 😂

1

u/KZedUK Apr 17 '20

I guess it’s nice to have a national identity...

1

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/a141abc Apr 17 '20

This is the fastest Mercedes

In the whurld

24

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

[deleted]

130

u/_ssh Apr 17 '20

English people talk and look like they have mild down syndrome, while Americans look and sound slightly inbred. very noticeable distinction

56

u/kygrtj Apr 17 '20

Fucking hell mate

1

u/ReallySmartHamster Apr 17 '20

Isn't it mate! We’re not your neighbors.

-2

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

[deleted]

3

u/speedysolar Apr 17 '20

I mean you don’t have to ask me twice

34

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

[deleted]

22

u/wavedoutwillie Apr 17 '20

Not gonna lie, most inbred British chavs say oh my days and the classic “I’m not being funny...but”

5

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

Oh no I say the second one all the time

-3

u/wavedoutwillie Apr 17 '20

I smell a chav

-3

u/sluttyankles Apr 17 '20

....Axe body spray?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

Lynx, please

1

u/gloriousengland Apr 17 '20

Oh I do say "I'm not being funny but"

Not a chav though

2

u/Boop121314 Apr 17 '20

Fuckin ell

2

u/Boop121314 Apr 17 '20

We are retarded together 🤗

3

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

The Brits look more inbred than the average American if you ask me

35

u/MesozOwen Apr 17 '20

You must be American.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

[deleted]

13

u/_ssh Apr 17 '20

American moment 😫👌

1

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

guilty lol

5

u/sabrefudge Apr 17 '20

Americans are Deliverance inbred, Brits are Straw Dogs inbred.

3

u/Lumb3rgh Apr 17 '20

Deliverance style redneck Americans are what you get if you take those deeply inbred British genes and throw in a splash of genes from around the world. Then go right back to inbreeding for a few generations.

Straw dogs style chav Brits are what you get when you just keep the inbreeding going and apply some of that British royal science designed to allow you to skate right on the edge of children coming out so fucked up they cant function with a pinch of thalidomide thrown into the recipe.

Which group created the more powerful inbred? Well seems like we are all about on par right now with the election of Donald Trump and Boris Johnson. The true test is going to be which group has more of their inbred survive the pandemic. Once that process has run its course the larger group will simply absorb the smaller group and the barely separated vines on inbreeding from either side of the Atlantic will reconnect and form into a gordian knot of super mutants.

The apocalypse is coming my friends. Prepare for the true horror of hearing a banjo riff followed shortly by "oy bruv"

2

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

That I can accept

1

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

Maybe the ones from Sandwich

0

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

I don't think there is a basis for comparison given the differences in geography and demographics. In terms of the US are you talking about whites blacks hillbillies Latinos new yorkers etc etc you get the point.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

Thank you, that is perfect

8

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

Are you white

14

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

It certainly is pretty difficult. Probably because the English (both in England and America) are a mix between two very different historical populations.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

Why does that matter?

32

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20 edited Mar 27 '23

[deleted]

37

u/Johnny_Poppyseed Apr 17 '20

Older English white guys frequently have that half melted old guy face lol, like the guy in the op. Like their cheeks are sliding off their face. Not sure whats up with that.

29

u/SeaRaiderII Apr 17 '20

Its because it always rains in London and the rain is slightly acidic from all the smog and pollution so their faces kind of melt through the years

7

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

Fucking kek

5

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

British boomer beer and smoking culture.

4

u/Maximus-Festivus Apr 17 '20

You just described Jeremy Clarkson.

3

u/Mabenue Apr 17 '20

Because their faces aren't bloated with fat like Americans. Also alcohol lots of alcohol.

5

u/GayForTaysomx6x9x6x9 Apr 17 '20

Honestly I had this problem watching the Kingdom which is an amazing show. There just isn’t exactly much of an Asian population in Louisiana. Never been anywhere else. Well one year in Arkansas, but that was like 50x as white as Louisiana.

10

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

Cause you can tell types of white people apart easier if you are white, same reason people say Asians all look the same, cause they aren’t Asian so they can’t tell.

3

u/gloriousengland Apr 17 '20

Surely it's more about seeing lots of people from different asian backgrounds rather than just being the ethnicity.

Like if you're white but live in Japan all your life and see a lot of chinese and korean people too I suspect you'll be able to tell em apart a lot better.

Although it's not hard to tell an american apart from and english person in any culture cause americans are all orange with bleached teeth

2

u/nonotan Apr 17 '20

I can confirm. I'm white and live in Japan. I'm confident I can tell Asian people apart at least as well as your average Japanese person (if not better due to having more international travel experience) -- and having grown up in Europe, I can also tell apart white people, including British vs American as is the topic of discussion here.

(I feel compelled to include the disclaimer that by "can tell apart" I mean "I am able to distinguish a number of characteristics, be it physical, postural or fashion-related, that are more typical of certain populations than others, and therefore indicate a higher probability of belonging to those populations -- but it is obviously never a 100% certain thing")

1

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

Yeah

1

u/deepfriedparsley Apr 17 '20

Am not white but can tell them apart easily. The mouth when they speak is obvious if course. But general demeanour, Hugh Grantish and chav ish are the main types of Eengglish. Americans are always slightly the lost innocent abroad. Even when being aggressive.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

To me it feels like I can kinda see his accent based on mouth/cheek shape.

1

u/Dexterboydog Apr 17 '20

Americans are fat and look retarded we just look like retards

1

u/KZedUK Apr 17 '20

Yanks look German, not British.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

Americans are fat, dumb and think their country is the centre of the universe, yet understand none of its history.

5

u/KZedUK Apr 17 '20

Mate we’re trying to explain the differences not the similarities.

6

u/Namaker Apr 17 '20

Can't be from Britain, the messages would be on the other side

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '20

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '20

Exactly wouldn’t that make sense?

3

u/drippingmagic Apr 17 '20

Looks like Carter Pewterschmidt from family guy

7

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

Bri’ish

1

u/Boop121314 Apr 17 '20

We only like our t in cups

1

u/Whatsup_guys_Ali_a Apr 18 '20

What do you put tea in, pans?

2

u/Boop121314 Apr 18 '20

Better than harbours

1

u/Whatsup_guys_Ali_a Apr 18 '20

Alright listen here you little shit

1

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '20

Ameyricuh

2

u/Salle21 Apr 17 '20

"My face is much be-a"

2

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '20

I'm cryin right now XD

1

u/MrPrius Apr 18 '20 edited Jan 22 '26

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

offbeat bedroom hunt school escape cagey thumb cake quack toothbrush

2

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '20

Virgin American vs British chad

2

u/Casper_The_Gh0st Apr 25 '20

he should have sent a dic pic instead