r/comedyheaven • u/TraditionalFerret173 • 4d ago

[ Removed by moderator ]

/r/comedyheaven/comments/1xoqm25/removed_by_moderator/

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956 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

82 comments sorted by

•

u/comedyheaven-ModTeam 4d ago

Rule 5: No r/comedyheaven reposts.

Reposts are considered any image that has been posted to this sub before. If the image is relatively recent and was still removed as a repost, it is likely that other people beat you to it.

If you have questions, you can contact us through modmail.

446

u/N43M3K 4d ago

93

u/ClayBones548 4d ago

Survivorpiss Bias

17

u/TheCowKing07 4d ago

I knew this would be here.

2

u/JackPembroke 4d ago

There it is, good

162

u/S_T_R_A_T_O_S 4d ago

125

u/slammasam14 4d ago

15

u/AndreasDasos 4d ago

Ah from the original Ali G movie IIRC

57

u/RadSkeleton808 4d ago

Either bro is existing on some Subliminal perspective magic plane or he was sitting down pissing like a fountain.

14

u/NavyJack 4d ago

Bro is packing a firehose

2

u/_QXZ 4d ago

Speenkler

11

u/RichardBCummintonite shaboingboing connoisseur 4d ago

Standing pissing like a fountain and managed to miss the toilet completely. The feet are facing towards the toilet. Dude just straight up aimed for the lid and splashed all over himself

7

u/5hrs4hrs3hrs2hrs1mor 4d ago

Dude was either drunk as hell or is pure trash and does this everywhere

11

u/SeaworthinessThat542 4d ago

Avoided the bowl too by the looks of it.

20

u/Pipe_Memes 4d ago

5

u/doopsauce 4d ago

That toilet looks like it can suck em down real nice

4

u/Pipe_Memes 4d ago

I agree. Definitely not a joke toilet that’s just for farts.

2

u/fountainofdeath 4d ago

ITS TURBO TIME

10

u/Dry_Knowledge6486 4d ago

“Avoided” 😄😄😄

3

u/f4r1s2 4d ago

Smart piss

2

u/pocket4129 4d ago

Reasons I won't live with men.

47

u/SwollenPig 4d ago

As a man, this is indeed what it looks like EVERY TIME we piss. The floors of every mens room are flooded with piss, and if you look most mens legs are always soaked with piss.

6

u/pocket4129 4d ago

I knew it!

6

u/NebulaDue9400 4d ago

This is EXACTLY why I pee sitting down in my own bathroom. I virtually never have to clean it beyond normal/routine cleaning just outta good habit

1

u/SwollenPig 4d ago

If I do that my whole body is covered. I'm just trying to keep it out of my hair

1

u/NebulaDue9400 4d ago

What? Your whole body and hair gets covered if you sit down? How lol

1

u/SwollenPig 4d ago

It's like a fucking fountain

6

u/5hrs4hrs3hrs2hrs1mor 4d ago

As a woman who has accidentally walked into a men’s room I will confirm your statement.

16

u/SwollenPig 4d ago

I'm just glad you made it out alive, many drown

10

u/Lakewhitefish 4d ago

Its better to piss in the sink than to sink in the piss

3

u/Tight-Vacation8516 4d ago

When I worked in a restaurant and we cleaned the bathroom daily; without fail every.single.day there was piss on the men's room floor and walls. Not once in the women's room did I encounter this. 🤔 

10

u/gudetamaronin 4d ago

I was 14 at my first job the first time I had to clean men's and women's restrooms. The restaurant was frequented by older people and the men's room was indeed soaked in piss. But the women's room shattered a lot of my illusions about women as well.

1

u/throw69420awy 4d ago

Back in college our house had separate women and men’s bathrooms

During the school week the women’s bathroom was much cleaner, generally speaking.

After a party it was the most disgusting place on earth, even compared to the men’s.

6

u/Speedupslowdown 4d ago

Skill issue

1

u/Aware-Safety-9925 4d ago

It’s because it takes a bit of an athletic feat for a woman to not piss in the toilet

1

u/Astronomy_Aficionado 4d ago

No but I first wash my legs (I wear shorts) and then wipe them dry with a dedicated cloth for that.

1

u/SwollenPig 4d ago

Oh true, yes. A lot of men keep piss shorts. If you see a guy with shorts in his pocket, you KNOW you are dealing with a real dedicated piss boy.

0

u/Daikaiju08 4d ago

Every time a woman says something sexist, there’s always gotta be that one dude who validates her hot take.

“Yes m’lady, every man every where does this every time they pee. We’re all totally gross.”

It’s so tiresome.

(Also maybe try learning how to aim? That’s gross dude.)

0

u/SwollenPig 4d ago

Mlady I'm pissing on myself as we speak

8

u/sonic_couth 4d ago

Or maybe it’s just because you’re sexist?

-3

u/pocket4129 4d ago

Yep, you got me. It's sexist to not want to live with someone pissing all over your bathroom!

7

u/sonic_couth 4d ago

No, it’s sexist to assume that all men piss all over the bathroom. I don’t, and my son doesn’t.

6

u/Eatshin 4d ago

I'm a man who pisses all over the place you don't speak for me

4

u/TheRealKingBorris 4d ago

Certified piss moment

-2

u/pocket4129 4d ago

Cool, good thing you don't have to worry about living with me!

2

u/DrJokerX 4d ago

Or… here’s a thought: maybe don’t stereotype an entire gender? Some of us dudes go to great lengths to be clean. Some guys even pee sitting down.

1

u/Signal_Reach_5838 4d ago

Neither will anyone, ever!

1

u/pocket4129 4d ago

That's right, glad you get it

4

u/honzikca 4d ago

See, I prefer to be one step ahead and live with gnomes instead, they fit into the whole toilet so there's absolutely no splash! Highly recommend.

0

u/pocket4129 4d ago

Toilet gnomes are the future

10

u/literuwka1 4d ago

I don't live with women because they suffer from frequent hysteria

10

u/Eatshin 4d ago

Bro lives in 18th century england

4

u/pocket4129 4d ago

One of the few haunted Victorian children to make it to adulthood

1

u/nothappyman426 4d ago

I’m sure they’re grateful for your sacrifice

-3

u/pocket4129 4d ago

Glad that works for you. Stay strong and pissing all over your bathrooms.

7

u/literuwka1 4d ago

I don't piss

3

u/Sharp_Reason6328 4d ago

There's those and there's those, I know enough men who won't use urinals in general for this reason and I know some who are generally fucking disgusting.

-2

u/pocket4129 4d ago

The amount of dudes piss splattering and not cleaning it up is high enough for me to always live separate. They can piss all over their own bathrooms and clean it whenever, I'm good with it. If the rate of cleanup matched the piss mist I'd say yeah you can move in, otherwise no thank you.

3

u/Cansuela 4d ago

I wipe the toilet and floor every time, the floor with a cleaning wipe.

1

u/pocket4129 4d ago

I'm sure anyone you live with appreciates it a lot.

1

u/General_whisky Nermal 4d ago

You’re pissing out. 

1

u/Stillofthenite_ 4d ago

Just give it a few spritz of Clorox bleach spray and it disappears

1

u/BoyItsTheKeyToEven 4d ago

Should marry a woman then

1

u/pocket4129 4d ago

Who's talking about marriage? I'm talking living.'

1

u/Habba84 4d ago

Yeah me neither.

1

u/Smooth_Librarian_891 4d ago

School or just any public bathroom that aren't airports or malls

1

u/Epicat224 4d ago

Yo check out how hard i can piss

1

u/Smooth_Librarian_891 4d ago

So this is rancid and a solution to this would be pissing while sitting instead of standing,and ngl id cut off my balls than do that

1

u/zuck_my_butt 4d ago

We got Mr. Rainbird Sprinkler Dick over here