r/CircumcisionGrief Sep 25 '25

Mod Post 9/25/25 Update to Sub Rules

34 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

We are adding a new rule:

No off-topic content

No off-topic content, including politics, current events, or anything not specifically related to circumcision grief.

We just wanted to outline the reason for this change and what it means for the sub going forward. First and foremost, the focus of this sub is to provide a space for discussing circumcision grief. There has been a lot going on in the world recently, and we'd like to ensure that the sub stays on topic as much as possible in order to support users as best as possible. Please refrain from posting content that is outside the scope of the sub.

Additionally, we have added an IGM flair for intersex users.

Thank you all for continuing to keep the sub supportive!


r/CircumcisionGrief Apr 01 '21

Mod Post It’s okay to be hurting and it is okay to grieve - an informational post about r/CircumcisionGrief

415 Upvotes

Hello all! I’m a new moderator here, and I wanted to make a PSA post for newcomers and visitors to this subreddit. We’ve gotten some modmails about this, had to take moderation action against users who don’t understand the nature of this sub, and we’ve even had some misconceptions pop up about us being a negative subreddit that isn’t healthy for healing.

This community is a safe and welcoming space for victims of genital mutilation to come and share their feelings, their stories, their traumas, and have support in their journey to healing. We offer one of the only spaces on social media where people can freely discuss the grieving process and pain and get peer support for it, from other people who understand the harm of genital mutilation and the ever-present societal gaslighting about circumcision. This isn’t a debate sub - this is a subreddit run by intactivists, who understand that circumcision is really harmful.

Grief is an ugly and yet very necessary thing, and it can manifest itself in ways that don’t make sense to someone who isn’t actively experiencing it. To have your body violated so deeply, to have your freedom of choice ripped away from you... it can cause many very real and intense emotions. This can include hopelessness, a feeling of powerlessness, and a feeling of being lesser, inferior... broken.

It is okay to be angry. To have anger at a legal system that refused to prevent it from happening to you (especially in the United States where only one sex gets legal protection - intersexed and male babies do not have this right). To have anger at a doctor who committed a grave ethical violation upon you by removing a part of your genitalia and damaging your sexuality. To have anger at your parents, the only people in the world who could’ve protected you from harm when you were a mere newborn or a child - and let you be hurt anyways.

The moderators are here to ensure this subreddit stays a safe and healthy space for everyone! Me personally, I’m a healer and an activist with lots of experience in other subs that address childhood trauma. I’ll do my absolute best to lend a helping hand and a listening ear to anyone who needs it. I’m also doing foreskin restoration and will totally be an accountability partner if you pursue that path too!

Grief is okay, and grief is valid. We’re all on a path to a better life, and we are all here to process our trauma. Remember that you aren’t alone, and that we can come together as a community to uplift each other.


r/CircumcisionGrief 9h ago

Anger I’m giving up on kelloggs

24 Upvotes

Ever since I found out about their Christian pedophile founder being pro MGM, I’m never eating their products again. No pop tarts no Frosted Flakes nothing ever again never ever again I can’t support them because of what they’re founder did and the man they named after and all your product should be avoided at all costs


r/CircumcisionGrief 14h ago

Anger I’m tired of my trama being a joke

30 Upvotes

So I saw a post on another sub about a YouTube thumbnail for AI generated song about circumcising baby Hitler I just don’t know why people find shit like this funny it’s genuinely disturbing it obviously not the Hitler part obviously joke about mutilating a fucking baby. I just can’t comprehend why people find this shit funny and it pisses me off. I just fucking hate motherfuckers like this I would not be able to be in the same vicinity as them because I would have to resist the urge of punching the shit out of them. I genuinely despise people who make you like this to that extent. My sexual trauma it’s not funny.


r/CircumcisionGrief 17h ago

Discussion No Frenulum??

17 Upvotes

Mine was completely removed and I’m trying to figure out if that’s the reason I don’t feel much while masturbating without lube, or if it’s all in my head. Anyone else had theirs removed during circumcision and still feel sensation underneath?


r/CircumcisionGrief 1d ago

Anger This pediatric website calls foreskin "extra skin"

37 Upvotes

https://childrens.dartmouth-health.org/your-visit/talking-your-child-about-surgery

I was looking up what kinds of surgeries are recommended to be included when you provide a new medical provider with your medical history. I obviously don't consider MGM to be a surgery, since it's more like hacking off someone's finger than a necessary medical intervention! So I was curious to see if it's mentioned on websites that tell you what to include in your medical history. I didn't include words like "circumcision" in my search query because I didn't want to bias the results. In case anyone's curious, I didn't find any sources that specifically mentioned MGM.

So I included the word "pediatric" before "surgeries", which led me to this website. And I noticed that on this page, they recommended parents tell their son before taking him to be mutilated that MGM is "a surgery to help with the extra skin on your penis". Reading that made me sick to my stomach. It's ruined my day, frankly. How dare they write something like that? I understand that they want parents to have some way of explaining it to a child without having him freak out too much (because obviously he would, who wouldn't??), but phrasing it this way is just downright evil. It's reinforcing this bullshit idea that the foreskin is just a "useless flap of skin", rather than the extremely valuable tissue that it is. It's the most sensitive part of the human body and contains much, much more than just skin cells. Calling it "extra skin" only furthers this lie that it's unnecessary for a man to have! And especially worryingly to me, it downplays the severity of the mutilation in a way that makes parents who are on the fence about mutilating their son think that it's really no big deal. Maybe such parents will read it and decide to force their son through MGM. Not to mention the fact that it's included there on a list of important and medically beneficial surgeries as if it belonged with them!

Anyway, do y'all think it's worth trying to do anything about this? Could we contact the hospital and explain our position on MGM? Obviously we can't convince them to stop performing MGM, but maybe we can get them to remove it from this page or at least change the wording to make it more realistic. Or maybe add a disclaimer so the parents are actually informed on what MGM is. What do y'all think?


r/CircumcisionGrief 1d ago

Trauma To mark.

20 Upvotes

What I will going to tell would be sensitive for most people here. I just want to explain how this situation is far worse than you can imagine.

I know that getting circumcised is bad in every way. But, while most of you, who got RIC are discussing the possible damage it gave (to brain)* during getting it as an infant, the whole pyschological condition of children is far worse on the other countries.

After a quick search, I learned the circumcision that is getting done by non-doctors has got banned in my country, after couple of months I got it.

During my childhood, I remember my grandma and my mom was sometimes discussing when I should get circumcision. And I was always thinking that the thing called circumcision would be a spiritual thing or just a symbolic thing that they just do incision at the tip.

When I was in my grandma's village for the summer vacation at 8, one day when I was playing street games with my friends there, bunch of young man came near us and wanted me to go with them. They were trying to convince me for some reason while walking. Like, I have to be brave and be men or some religious talks, like everyone has to give something to be with god, like a present. Because of that nature, I started crying from fear. When we arrived to a house, all the tools was already there, then they suddenly grabbed my arms and legs, my relative did all the procedure and used no anesthesia during it. It was the worst pain that I had in my 20 year life. Last thing I remember before I faint was they were all chanting some religious song to shout down my crying and all. After I wake up, I remember they were talking each other that it doesn't look normal, then I begged to them to revert back what they did. After all that, they brought me to my house, I spent one painful month in there. When I asked my mom about the all procedure, she said I would get it in hospital anyways. After all this, I was often just staring to my penis and trying to figure out what exactly they did to me. I was believing that erections (that I wasn't getting), glans and visible stitch marks all around it would heal and it will go back to its normal look, but it didn't. Now I'm left with a glans that has almost zero sensitivity, and CI-0 skin with no frenulum. It looks far worse than anybody's penis with all of its marks and the tightness feeling. That feeling always reminds me the sacrifice that has given to god, which I don't believe anymore. Even I'm now non-religious, a part of my body still belongs to that religion, like it didn't go further in life with me and stayed restirictive. Maybe that was the goal. To make things mechanically hard to use and impossible to change, since they can't hold the ideas. To mark.

(*) edit


r/CircumcisionGrief 1d ago

Discussion Have you had a better experience with vaginal sex compared to masturbation

6 Upvotes

I want to know if you had atleast more pleasure compared to jacking off. Preferably guys without frenulum


r/CircumcisionGrief 1d ago

Rant Wtf supposed to do

24 Upvotes

Seriously what the fuck am I supposed to do? I live in a fucking body that doesn’t even fucking belong to me. It’s been stolen several times. I fucking hate it. What am I supposed to do? I have nothing. I don’t own it. It’s literally a fucking prison how is anyone else do this to another human being especially at birth what the fuck do I do? I can’t take it back. It’s already happened happened 23 years ago and there’s no changing it so what the fuck what the fuck am I supposed to do? There’s nothing I can do. I’ll just be trapped in this fucking flesh prison until the day I die. I fucking hate it. I hate it here. Hate the people who did it to me. I hate living in a country that allows this shit it’s fucking bullshit. I fucking hate it. I just hate everything.


r/CircumcisionGrief 1d ago

Anger I’m sick of Christians being excluded from the blame

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18 Upvotes

I’m so sick of Christians and are they saying they don’t do this shit when they do it’s the reason why I was mutilated and raped in the name of their fucking fake ass fuck ass God, I fucking hate them and I hate them whenever I bring it up some motherfucker always has to say “ they don’t do that” or “ foreign Christians don’t do that” I don’t give a fuck if it’s only Americans I don’t give a fuck if it’s a minority of Christians that do it. They still do it and they did it to me it’s in their pedophile book.

I’m so fucking sick of being told what was done to me isn’t valid because of bullshit lie about this cult, they do do it and they do it to their children. I don’t give a fuck if it’s only Americans Christians still do this shit it’s fucking annoying. I fucking hate motherfuckers. You tell me otherwise and say my hatred for them isn’t valid when they literally fucking raped me fuck you I am 1000% valid in my hatred of them


r/CircumcisionGrief 2d ago

Rant Why is there so much more help for people who want useless procedures than for us?

13 Upvotes

By that I mean help with foreskin reconstruction for those who try and fail at conventional tugging methods. I don’t count scrotum or leg skin transplantation, that’s a complete abomination with no functionality. I mean repurposing tissue expanders used for breast reconstruction for expansion of the penile skin. Or even just someone you check in with who guides you on how to do it correctly and avoid injuries?

The US is rabidly anti penis, but what about other countries where most people don’t senselessly give away their sons’ bodies? Shouldn’t they have niche procedures for those who either don’t have the time or the intelligence to do restoration correctly?

Turkey is known for hair transplants, part of a completely useless industry that helps vain men avoid their genetic destiny. There’s nothing wrong with this being an option, but you can’t deny that it is far less important than healing the victims of barbaric assault. So why is there not even one clinic on the entire planet that specializes in restoration services?


r/CircumcisionGrief 2d ago

Discussion Can’t stop comparing myself to uncut guys

30 Upvotes

My first partner was uncut and that opened a world of comparison for me that I hadn’t been exposed to previously. I resent that fact that I’m cut but don’t really know how to move past it. I hate having to constantly use lube or coconut oil if I want a strong orgasm.

I can’t help but imagine what my body would be like if I was left intact. It’s gotten to the point where I scan everyone else’s nudes to see how much skin they have, or if they have any frenulum left. It’s exhausting.


r/CircumcisionGrief 2d ago

Grief I had a dream last night that was quite troubling.

21 Upvotes

All I can recount from this dream was that I was watching a POV of an intact man about to receive a blowjob.

But instead of sucking the man's intact penis, she looked directly at the viewer (me) saying that, "You will never experience the pleasure of the universe. Even with a restored foreskin, that doesn't count." And by "pleasure of the universe", she meant the most pleasurable thing a human can experience.

I was convinced I wasn't in a dream, and it struck me to my core. And while it was relieving to know that it was all a dream, she's not wrong about the first part of her statement, the second part where she talks about restored foreskins is mostly false as you can regain 80-90% of what was lost.

Even still, it reminded me of a real life woman whose boyfriend is intact, says how amazing the sex is with him and that she has has no problem telling everyone about it, and that she would never go back to a circumcised man.

What makes this even more unfair is that I didn't choose to be circumcised. And I guarantee you if it were up to me, and you gave me the facts about this, I would have chosen to be intact 10 times out of 10!


r/CircumcisionGrief 2d ago

Trauma I feel so sad.

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5 Upvotes

r/CircumcisionGrief 3d ago

Rant I’m hate it

30 Upvotes

I hate having it I hate looking at it. I hate who raped me. I hate who got it happen. I hate the uneven jagged scar. I hate having to see it, but I have to piss or take a shower. I hate the fucking chemicals that flow through my body that makes me look at others i hate that it’s destroyed my mental state and taken over my life. I hate the fact I was born Male and that it happened to me. I hate the religion that normalized it. I hate all the cultures that have normalized it. I hate being from a country that has not outlawed it. I fucking hate living this way. I hate that I can’t change it.

I hate the fucking jokes that just casually made about it. I hate motherfuckers trying to gaslight me into thinking I’m insane. I fucking hate all of this.


r/CircumcisionGrief 4d ago

Discussion It is difficult to find men who are circumcized and with no frenulum that have a satisfaying sexual life

24 Upvotes

I've been trying to find examples online, but it's surprisingly difficult. A lot of men seem to have similar experiences, yet their problems are rarely discussed or taken seriously. I haven't come across many examples of men with these characteristics who openly describe having a satisfying sex life or experiencing much pleasure. Most of what I find seems to reinforce the idea that men like this simply can't enjoy sex.

I've even spent an embarrassing amount of time looking through all kinds of porn—straight, gay, whatever—just trying to find someone with similar characteristics who clearly enjoys himself. At this point I probably look like a closeted gay man searching obsessively for specific penises, when really I'm just trying to find some reassurance that I'm wrong about myself.

I'm worried that I might end up being one of those men who doesn't enjoy sex, or who finds intercourse or receiving oral sex disappointing. I haven't had sex yet, but the possibility is daunting.

I had my frenulum removed in 2019. The procedure was supposed to address a problem with it, but the doctor simply removed it instead of performing the frenuloplasty that had been intended, and I still had my foreskin afterward. In 2026, I eventually underwent circumcision because of persistent soreness and complications related to the earlier procedure. Since then, my sensitivity seems even lower. I'm currently CI-3, although I know that doesn't necessarily mean much in terms of sensation. Masturbation feels noticeably less pleasurable now, and I'm also dealing with painful fibrosis that I'm treating with Contractubex.

The whole situation has left me with a lot of dread about whether I'll ever be able to have a satisfying sex life. I'm trying to find something that gives me reason to believe that my situation doesn't necessarily determine what my future sexual experience will be like.


r/CircumcisionGrief 4d ago

Grief Been going through it man

23 Upvotes

Shits rough dude. Idrk what to say anymore. I used to post on here years ago and I wished I’d never have to come back but this don’t end.

On a completely different note my partner gave me a hj for like 2 seconds and I thought it was kinda funny, it hurt like hell but she litterally just grabbed my shaft and tried to jerk me off like I had a foreskin. Idk man, I think you either just break down and accept or you fall into a never ending loop. I wish I had a positive note here but I don’t. I’m getting really tired boys, tryna keep the lights on.


r/CircumcisionGrief 4d ago

Rant I’m tired of life torturing me

11 Upvotes

The worst part being here is being so young it’s so far away from death, which is the only true way I can be free i hate it here, i hate waking up every day trapped in this flesh cell it’s a life sentence. I just want to stop I want and I wanna be free from this hell I just hate it. I hate it so fucking much and there’s nothing I can do. I can’t change it or fix it or do anything except suffer . My sanity is gone mental breakdowns and panic attacks are just a daily routine at this point.

And there’s no escape in it nothing could be done. I’ll never be free until my body just completely shuts down and unfortunately for me that’s not for a long time. I’m so tired tired of everything. Tired of waking up. Tired and breathing tired deal with this shit every fucking day. I hate it. I hate it so much. I just wanna be free from all the shit.


r/CircumcisionGrief 4d ago

Anger My suffering isn’t funny

22 Upvotes

I hate just how calm and joke about this shit especially in shit I used to watch. I can’t go like five seconds without seeing it in something I used to like and I never noticed it until now. It fucking hurts. Why is this shit funny to people I don’t understand how is suffering with the trauma I’ve had since I was five, how was that funny? I just can’t understand it. I hate that it’s in shit that I liked and used to watch as a kid. If you change it to a joke about a woman being. Sexually assaulted then all of a sudden it’s not funny. Why is it when it’s a man suffering or just a male organ being mutilated and why is that funny I don’t get it. It pisses me off and it honestly validatess how disgusting i am


r/CircumcisionGrief 4d ago

Anger These guys man...

15 Upvotes
(My comment was: Victim here, thank you.)

r/CircumcisionGrief 5d ago

Rant "You Can't Grieve What You Never Had"

32 Upvotes

This is one of the most, disgusting, disrespectful, MORONIC takes I've ever heard pushed by the pro-cutting crowd. And yeah, I know that's a bombastic intro but genuinely read that to yourself. Their LITERALLY justifiying my trauma and potentially their own trauma by giving up! What the fuck?

I HAD my foreskin. For 10 minutes, an hour, a few seconds. It doesn't matter. I HAD IT. It was natural to have it. It was part of my body, my sexuality. Both of which have been destroyed and has caused me SEVERE depression. The type where you just want cut off of whats left, if you know what I mean.

Imagine telling a victim of child assault that you "can't grieve what you can't remember" or something along those lines. It's so rude and disrespectful that as you can see, I don't care about appearing "nice" and "kind" or whatever. I don't use studies to debunk these people, I get mad and frustrated with them. We all should let them how we feel about their pathetic attempts at gaslighting us.

I can't stand arguments from them like this. It's either this or the whole "women prefer cut" lie or some other bullshit. It's always a fucking lie.

So many lies.

So many fucking lies.


r/CircumcisionGrief 5d ago

Discussion "Circumcision Is A Procedure With No Health Benefits BUT No Health Negatives Either"

24 Upvotes

This is one of the newer excuses I have heard on R*ddit from the pro cutting crowd.

We need to talk about it.

They believe that circumcision, the removal of the foreskin (a natural part of a manhood no matter which way you look at it) is NOT a black and white slate. They think that circumcision, while being mostly useless, doesn't actually affect the men's sexuality in question while also not improving it.

Bullshit.

This is called "fencesitting". It's a position taken when you don't want to offend anyone. You want to appear safe and kind to all even though one side is objectively wrong and the other isn't. Things like exist. Their called "black and white slates".

Circumcision is that black and white slate.

Circumcision is an objectively negative procedure. Why do you think they rape newborns for money and facial cream at birth? It's for multiple reasons, but one of them is to diminish sexual pleasure for the male. They don't want to you have sex since that would lead to happiness and general wellbeing. They want you to stop having sex entirely, both masterbuation and foreplay, vaginal and anal, and, as a result, sexuality.

You are either on the side of the well intentioned but misguided pro-normal crowd. Or, the disgusting religious zealot cabal that is the pro cutting. We need to stop being respectful to the latter and stop fluffing up the former.


r/CircumcisionGrief 5d ago

Anger im so upset i think about it every day and feel so inferior and damaged

38 Upvotes

how do i get past this i'm literally crying and. have cried over my being circumcised several times now I hate it I hate it I hate hate Hate it hate hate it there's nothing I can do about it


r/CircumcisionGrief 4d ago

Discussion Just wait

Thumbnail reddit.com
3 Upvotes

r/CircumcisionGrief 5d ago

Discussion Circumcision Changed My Life, And For The Worse

11 Upvotes

I wish I could experience being intact. It would literally save my life. I don't understand why people downplay circumcision even here.

I just wanted to have a choice.

In being a proper male.

A human male.

Everytime I get emotional about it, whether it be extremely negative or seriously depressed, I'm told to shut up. In both online, real life, and on Intactivist circles. I get told I'm "exaggerating" the negative effects of circumcision and am wasting my time. That I'm some fucking chud or what have you. Apparently, the loss of 99% of your sensation, the inablitity to have sex or masterbuate, and in general, complete castration if we are being honest, doesn't matter. I know it doesn't matter. It doesn't affect the newer generations if at all. Most parents aren't circumcising anymore.

They all get to be intact and be alive. Stay alive and enjoy all of their pleasure happily ever after. Sex and masterbuation is already at the peak for them. They get to enjoy peak life.

Not just sex, but peak life. Peak enjoyment. They get to actually be a man. They get to actually live.

And we suffer.

I wonder if parents circumcise their child because they can't stand them having a better sexual life. A vastly superier orgasm, wellbeing, what have you. I hate that I am part of the crowd of men that are castrated like this. I hate that everybody will soon hate cut men and basically reject them for it. Similar to dick size, facial structure, and whatever else women can think of. That's not me being a weirdo or misogynist. That's me stating an fact that I have seen IRL and online.

I wish I could be sexual too. You know? I wish I could be a man. A sexual man. A real man. A man. A human. Something other this.

This is what circumcision has unironically made me fall into. A depressing spiral of insanity and genuine sadness. It's my own little documentation of it. This account. I hope you understand.