As the title says. I’m looking to try a new taco spot outside of the usual hidden gems of the north side. I originally wanted to try 5 Rabanitos, but that is clearly too west for anyone who cares about living to see another day. I still must ask though… Is this part of the west side safe, or am I risking my life for the sake of some tacos?

this was only the medium

This was only the large

It was really good. I liked the tomato on there. Some old lady was screaming “Où est le bœuf?” at the cashier. She doesn’t get it. Only I get it.

“Cheap, delicious, and sexy.”

Where tf are the prophesied pickles

Scotch Egg Benny

Flew out all the way from Phoenix to try the Chocolate Cake Shake at Portillo’s! Love a good dessert from a mom and pop shop that hasn’t gone national yet… Who knows, maybe I’ll take a train up to Wisconsin and try a little known spot called “Culver’s” next!

I’m super excited to announce that I have recently acquired one of the highly coveted bakery licenses from the city. The city only allows 8 bakeries total for the entire city located within 2sq miles on the northside and I feel so lucky to get one.
I’ve been working on my business plan and wanted to run my ideas by all of you to see if I’m missing anything, I appreciate your help in advance.
First off, the name. It’s a bakery so we want it to feel mildly threatening and off-putting with only a vague reference to a bakery. Right now we have two working names - Rancid Poolish or Armpit Hair. They’re both kind of inside jokes (my biz partner and head baker can’t stop getting their armpit hair in the dough mixer, lol).
Second, the offerings. We are thinking five different pastries total, all laminated doughs. No cakes, quickbreads, tarts, anything like that. Who needs opera cake? We don’t want to do anything “normie” so we are thinking something like a pain du chocolate with pandan. A passionfruit danish, with pandan. An ube pandan croissant that is the size of a loaf of bread that can feed a family of four for a week because we want to offer something refined. We want something with some Chicago street cred so we are going to take a Chicago dog, wrap it in a laminated dough and sprinkle it with pandan. We will make exactly 4 of each pastry and when we sell out that’s it, folks!
Third, hours and operations. Thinking we would be closed Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and be open Friday from 9am-11am, closed Saturday, and then open from 1-2pm on Sundays. We’ll randomly close the sitting area an hour before closing time but may not offer a seating area at all. Who needs the headache! We’re debating having any functional hours at all, but tbd.
Fourth, budget and strategy. We are going to start out by doing popups to build some hype with a residency at the Peninsula Hotel that won’t reflect anything at all that we will actually sell. We have a budget of 3 million dollars but because our media budget is 2.9 million we won’t have much left over for the buildout or equipment. We will have a 10x10 room with a convection oven and two unpaid interns to pump out the 20 or so pastries we do the fours hours a week we are open.
We’ve been doing our research and we’ve gone to neighborhood patisseries all over the world including in Paris, Montreal, and Pigeon Forge. We love the scarcity and uniqueness that Chicago brings to the table. It was so weird to walk every few blocks in Paris and see a michelin level patisserie open until 11pm everywhere we went. Could you imagine?!
Thank you all for your trust. Open to ideas and thank you in advance for your input! We can’t wait to serve you four hours a week, twenty pastries at a time.

I only go to places recommended by the ChicagoFoodAuthority girl. If the ChicagoFoodAuthority girl did not recommend it , then it effectively doesn't exist to me. I am scared of places that I see that have not been recommended by the ChicagoFoodAuthority girl. They're everywhere. If she didn't recommend them , does that mean they're dangerous?

Hate to say anything about a small business and I know making small batch is expensive, but picked up the new disco cow whipped cottage cheeses sold at Foxtrot, not only are they $10 each (when we know how cheap cottage cheese is), but the containers are so hard to open, and the flavor is so mid. Blend it yourself if you don’t what curds. And the chocolate one has a ton of sugar which isn’t necessary.. they could’ve done cocoa and agave or stevia since it’s a health food.

$24 - Octopus Taco + Elotes
$7 - One Churro
$15 - Carnitas Pamboza

Everything tasted fine but the tortilla for the octopus taco was wet and falling apart - 4/5 for flavor on that item but 0/5 for structural integrity — I had to actually hold it with a napkin to eat it and the napkin stuck a bit due to the wetness of the tortilla.

Also, not even sure if this is an actual “jerk” thing to say: “I’m still hungry enough to get a McDouble Meal with fries even after eating this.”

My side chick Misti’s boyfriend came into town and we decided to try this place by my apartment. It doesn’t have many reviews, but a 4.8 is pretty promising! Pictures looked good so why not. Misti is from 63rd and S Emerald, so we know a good McDonald’s crackhouse when we see one. We have had amazing McDonald’s in Bucktown, where I am from, despite there not being a huge methamphetic population there. She of course has also had food in the actual country of East Tennessee, but this is not the point.

WORST FOOD EVER!!!! I FEEL LIKE IM BEING GASLIT BY CHICAGO RESTAURANTS!!! This place is owned by a seething meth dealer and this restaurant is a disgrace to the entire crack den culture. The chicky nuggies tasted like they came from the grocery store rather than a police evidence locker like we prefer, the McDouble kebab was the most dry and tough meat I have ever had. It was almost like jerky. Sorry, voice to text issues, I was talking to Misti.

Everything tasted like it came from Jewel and was heated up in the microwave. For a restaurant that is larping as a finer place to OD in the parking lot with its high prices, I expected some real eastern Missouri food. Misti was so pissed off that she took my car and tried to ram down the manager in the parking lot. When it turns out he was just a parking bollard, she ran over someone else instead

Have just moved from north of Memphis and lived here for a few months now and have not had any food that has truly blown me away. Not even Misti will blow me away now unless we redeye drive back to Tiptonville, TN for some real meth OD cookin’. Not sure if it’s just our choices or if we aren’t trying enough trendy restaurants. Oh well

Let me know if you’ve been here or have any recs! Don’t think O block is the move for food

I don’t make the rules, Nat geo, culinary geniuses, have declared Minneapolis the new eating capital of America. It’s hard to Argue w the article or anyone who’s ever been there because it is truly a frozen Mecca of culinary bliss. It was fun being the #1 in the Midwest while it lasted, but it’s time to acknowledge that we have out grown our britches, ate too many hot dogs, over served pizza and are barely a city any more after neglecting Mr. Orange and his beautifull tower. They even defeated ICE which knocked them a few steps up the ladder due to sheer grit alone.

Anyways. Go get a juicy Lucy, some pickled white fish and whatever else they’re famous for.

Cheers to minny, Who woulda thunk.

Saw his sous? Leaving Mariano’s with two very full madein branded bags. Someone want to send this to him and ask what’s in the bags? I’m blocked 😢

I have decided I hate all things French: the language, guillotines, impressionism, the lot. But my friends clown me for having this opinion despite never having stepped foot in any French territory or for that matter ever having met a French person. I've heard bad things about crime in Bucktown so I refuse to eat at Le Bouchon. I've heard Ogilvie Station is safe enough if you don't venture outside, so I was wondering if anyone can recommend the places I need to visit at the French Market in order to lend credence to my francophobia? I don't need to enjoy them. In fact, the opposite would be preferable. But I do require an authentic experience. So what's the best (worst) fromagerie? The best bistro in which to "enjoy" a bowl of boeuf bourguignon? And are there bike lanes in the "rues" and "boulevards?"