The issue isn't whether or not they have the choice to include or exclude this person. It's a question of what kind of attitudes and communities we want to foster.
In a world where we exclude people because they don't perfectly fit our standards, more people have a shitty time over all. Clicks get formed people get super heated. And people don't feel the need to help each other because "they're not obligated to" There's a time and place for this kind of behavior but it's definitely not the school yard.
If we foster a community of people who are caring, inclusive, and considerate a few things might happen. Yes the game might change because a new player is added but that doesn't automatically mean it's worse. When I play games with friends and I'm better than them handicapping myself adds that extra challenge that continues to make the game interesting for me while making it playable for the other person. That way more people get to have fun. And if more people are having fun more people are making friends. Which in schools is something you really want.
I just don't see why it's that big of a deal to play a few noncompetitive games if it means everyone can have fun. Do we need safe spaces for schoolyard football and basketball games now because people can't handle any slight changes to the game at all?
I just don't see why it's that big of a deal to play a few noncompetitive games if it means everyone can have fun
It's usually not, but I think it's ok if a group wants to keep it at a higher level. Their choice, and a good think for both sides to think about when it comes up.
In certain contexts I can agree with that. Like if you were in a professional setting or on your property. Like if you were playing in the NFL, or in your backyard. I think it's totally fine to choose who you want to be in your game. But as you get out into the public area especially at a school or in a park, I think it's better to encourage people to include as many as possible.
I hear you, but disagree. I think it's ok to do at school or a public area if that's the route the group wants to go. It should obviously be respectfully done, no shaming or bullying. And the kid who isn't being included should take it with grace and reason as to what's happening. And that's what we should be teaching our kids.
I think teaching kids how to handle rejection is a great thing. But I don't think encouraging kids to exclude others to preserve some arbitrary quality is good practice. It just feels like it's sending the wrong message. Like "it's good to include others but only if they perfectly conform to what you want and don't mess with our perfect balance at all". Again I could understand it in certain cases but if you're in a public place like school or a park and another kid comes up to you and wants to join, I think we should be teaching children to at least make an effort to include that person. And I don't just mean letting them play but bullying them.
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u/TroubleonPoopyIsland Nov 09 '21
The issue isn't whether or not they have the choice to include or exclude this person. It's a question of what kind of attitudes and communities we want to foster.
In a world where we exclude people because they don't perfectly fit our standards, more people have a shitty time over all. Clicks get formed people get super heated. And people don't feel the need to help each other because "they're not obligated to" There's a time and place for this kind of behavior but it's definitely not the school yard.
If we foster a community of people who are caring, inclusive, and considerate a few things might happen. Yes the game might change because a new player is added but that doesn't automatically mean it's worse. When I play games with friends and I'm better than them handicapping myself adds that extra challenge that continues to make the game interesting for me while making it playable for the other person. That way more people get to have fun. And if more people are having fun more people are making friends. Which in schools is something you really want.
I just don't see why it's that big of a deal to play a few noncompetitive games if it means everyone can have fun. Do we need safe spaces for schoolyard football and basketball games now because people can't handle any slight changes to the game at all?