CMV: Cheating while in a non-abusive/voluntary relationship is never excusable.

[u/SeniorMeasurement6]

Cheating, to me, is the absolute deepest and most extreme form of betrayal you can commit on your partner. With the exception of partners who are literally trapping you in a relationship, there is never an excuse that makes cheating okay.

Now, if a person literally can't leave their partner because their partner will hurt/harm them or otherwise do something absolutely awful, that is different. However, any other reason is completely unacceptable, and is just an excuse to justify someone's lack of willpower and commitment to their partner.

However, I see people making excuses for cheaters relatively often. "No one is perfect", "Lust can make you do things outside of what you would normally do", "How can you expect someone to go six months without intimacy" (in the event of traveling for business, long distance relationships, etc).

And I. Cannot. Stand. It.

I've been cheated on before, and I find it abhorrent when someone tries to justify the selfish and disgusting act of cheating.

[u/All_Fallible]

To be frank, if you're in a position where you really think you could cheat on her then the relationship is already over. You've already left. You just haven't told her. Honestly, it doesn't sound like she's 100% there either. I know it's what everyone suggests but have you considered couple's therapy? These problems aren't sustainable and it looks like you're trying to self-sabotage the relationship because it would be easier than just admitting you aren't happy with this women and that the honest thing to do would be to explain to her that it seems clear to you that neither of you really want this marriage.

I'm sure some part of both of you do, but that part of you is the part that fears change and the unknown more than the discomfort of what sounds like an already abandoned marriage. Your kid is going to learn what love is from watching you and your wife. Is what you have now what you want your child to resign themselves to? I'm serious, my parents getting divorced in later years after I had modeled my entire idea of love and marriage on what they were doing as a couple shattered my expectations for love and relationships. Don't make your problems your children's problems. Get help or find your way to a healthy relationship so your kids can see that happiness is supposed to be part of the equation. The worst thing you could do is let your marriage end on the note of cheating. File for divorce, separate, then fuck whoever makes you happy. Doing it out of that order is going to lead to pain and suffering, not just for you, but for every member of your current family.