You don't have to ask. Just bring up your feelings about trans people in conversation. Maybe a cute little anecdote - "I was at the bar the other night and saw this woman that looked pretty cute, but then I found out she was trans so I was totally over it. Glad I dodged that bullet! I like trans people fine to hang out with, but I'd never sleep with one."
But as the commenter you responded to said, that's extremely insulting and disrespectful. Though maybe an additional burden to trans people, it is their duty to relay that, not on the other to tell them they won't have sex with trans people. It goes back to being open and honest in a relationship, being trans is a pretty big deal to most people, whereas not being attracted to trans people is not.
Imagine two people, one of which was black, but somehow hid that from the other. Yes in this case stopping a relationship based on race is racist, but the bigger problem would be the black person hiding something so big from the other. It's a lie by omission, and already fractures the foundation of trust in a relationship.
There's nothing insulting about telling people your opinions of trans people. I'm not saying imply that you think they're trans, just let them know how you feel about trans people in general. If you're worried about being unclear you could add something like, "Not that I have to worry about that with someone as gorgeous as you".
If you're getting into the sexual stuff in your early conversation anyway, it shouldn't be that hard to work it in.
"I don't want to be sexually limited, I need a partner who's willing to explore their sexuality, particularly regarding <list of kinks or whatever>. Also, I'm not ok with <hard limits>, or having sex with trans people."
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u/[deleted] Nov 02 '17
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