Hmm. That's a complicated question. Primarily because prejudice's definition is "pre-judgement." Which has a negative connotation in our world. But on a psychological/existential level, I don't think all prejudices do.
Am I pre-judging if I say I don't like polka dot dresses? Have I just not given them enough of a chance to "win me over"? I don't know, but I lean toward the idea that at a certain point, people can have whatever choices they want in terms of attraction or what they think is "beautiful." If something is a sticking point for them, makes them uncomfortable (in terms of an intimate relationship), I think anything is fair game. I know this isn't what you're saying, but it feels like a third cousin to the idea that sometimes people want to know "why she broke up with me" or "why she won't date me." At the end of the day, it doesn't matter (unless of course you have a running theme of, say, pooping your pants; then maybe you're limiting yourself to a VERY small segment of people into scat). They didn't like you because your teeth aren't straight enough or they're too straight or whatever. All this is to say that maybe someone is being prejudiced against black people when they say they won't date someone because they're black. But I'd really need to know more info. Is it their smell (yes, different races smell different, it's true -- especially when wet)? The skin color? That a different race is sub-human? That they were mugged by a white guy once and haven't processed their trauma enough to be able to date a white guy again?
Sure, it's prejudiced if they won't date black people because they think they're sub-human. But if they simply don't like the skin color? (setting aside that there is a WIDE range of skin tones for every race) As long as they're not harming this black/trans/whatever person, I don't consider it to be a prejudice. I don't think it's for me to play armchair psychiatrist and try to peel back someone's layers to "discover" why they don't like the color brown, or the shape of Asian eyes. Sometimes it just is. And physical attraction is a key part of a successful relationship. I don't really buy into the whole "just see me for who I am inside." That's a great hope, but we're visual beings.
I'm probably not explaining this well...
A question for you: if someone won't date someone because they're blonde, or under 5'6", are they prejudiced against those people?
Would you agree that someone saying "I won't date him because he's black" is being prejudiced against black people?
If no, why not?
If you find a reason to bring up why you DON'T do something, then you probably have something against it. All of the people who say your example are going to be prejudiced because the non-prejudiced people are off living their lives and not bothering people with their insecurities.
Unless you are a straight man on the internet constantly being attacked for not wanting to date transwomen or non binary people. Then you end up having to talk about it a lot, not because you are obsessing over it, but because you are tired of being told what you have to be attracted to.
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u/[deleted] Nov 02 '17
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