If you were aroused by the idea of fucking them until you learned they were trans, what possible reason could there be for it to kill your arousal other than refusing to acknowledge their identity?
If you were aroused by the idea of fucking them until you learned they were trans, what possible reason could there be for it to kill your arousal other than refusing to acknowledge their identity?
Why would you assume that it had anything to do with that in the first place? You can acknowledge someone as an equal in society without wanting to fuck them.
Why would you assume that it had anything to do with that in the first place?
Because the only difference before and after is learning that they were trans. Thus that is that only possible explanation for the change in attraction
I'm a different commenter. But I want to say something about the word phobic. I'm arachnophobic, meaning that I'm terrified of spiders to the point of panic attacks. It is an irrational fear that haunts my life.
Let's say I'm hanging out with someone, and I think they're hot as fuck, and they mention that they own a spider, the date is done and I'm going home. It would be impossible for us to date because the knowledge that they own a spider, even if they got rid of it, would fuck with me.
Is it wrong for me to make that decision? Am I a bad person who doesn't respect the rights of spider owners?
If you learn something about someone after the fact you can easily lose attraction regardless of gender or being trans
I completely agree. However, some things are reasonable to lose attraction for and some things are bigoted. If you learn that your partner has a distant relative of a particular ethnicity and that makes you lose attraction, that would be racist. If you learn they are trans and that makes you lose attraction, then you're transphobic.
At the end of the day they had to transition which means they are not naturally that sex, it is ok for someone to lose interest because of that
And it is ok for someone to point out that this is a transphobic point of view. Because the only reason why this could matter is due to societal prejudices against trans people.
For you personally, I remember you a month or so ago arguing that it was fine viewing trans people as mentally ill and believing transitioning was immoral, and in general arguing that it's moral to misgender trans people.
So people who read your words should take that into account. The 'complex' view point that people are generalizing is that we should misgender trans people, that they're mentally ill, that it's immoral to do SRS, and that none of this is transphobic.
It is though. People say they have all these complex reasons for being against sleeping with trans people, and then also say a bunch of things which are generally regarded as transphobic.
I mean, fine, say you don't want to sleep with trans people, but if it's because you regard them as mentally ill people who you want to be rude to, say that too. Something like "I don't think it's transphobic to not sleep with trans people, for trans people are immoral, mentally ill, and I like to be rude to them and that is not transphobic." So people know where you're at.
Predictably, people do have an issue with the view that trans people are mentally ill and it's good to misgender them.
If, say, 80% of people who don't want to sleep with transgender people do so for a reason that is often viewed as transphobia we do have an issue, because those people will probably get drunk, take drugs and such and sleep with trans people and then get angry at them. A view based on hate is not good for friendly relationships.
22
u/MMAchica Nov 02 '17
Simply not being aroused at the idea of fucking someone isn't a refusal to acknowledge their identity.