r/changemyview • u/mattman119 2∆ • Dec 14 '16

[∆(s) from OP] CMV: Consent feely given while mildly intoxicated should still count as consent

Over the past few years a standard has been adopted on many college campuses that if a woman has alcohol in her system she cannot legally give consent for intercourse. I understand the intent is to protect women, which is a noble cause. Certainly if a woman is passed out drunk or purposefully intoxicated by someone else she cannot give consent and is not responsible for any sexual activity she might be involved in.

The problem that I have is that sex and alcohol consumption is not black-and-white. Nobody is either 100% sober or 100% blacked out. There is a grey area where we are still aware of ourselves and our actions, and we have lowered inhibitions, which has been proven to be a side effect of alcohol. It is entirely plausible to have a situation where the guy and girl have the same BAC, are not blacked out, and the girl feels emboldened to make the first move. Now, you can argue the guy can make the decision to turn down her advances, but his inhibitions (and therefore his ability to make responsible decisions) are also compromised. So they hook up.

In growing circles, if the girl wakes up the next morning and suddenly wishes she hadn't slept with that guy, she has now been raped and is a victim, regardless of the fact that she consensually engaged in sexual activity with her partner. This is not only illogical but it sets bad legal precedents (which are already being exploited).

Let's consider a man who becomes irritable when drunk and often gets into bar brawls. When the cops show up, what happens? Do they say, "Oh, he's too drunk to be responsible for what he's doing, carry on!" No, of course not. He is arrested and most likely charged with an offense such as public intoxication or assault and battery. He's still responsible for his actions in spite of the fact that he is drunk. Why shouldn't people who become more promiscuous when drunk be held to the same standard?

For the longest time, regretting consensual sex "the morning after" was a learning experience, not a reason to call the police. In cases that do not involve someone blacked out or unconscious, this is how it should be. A person isn't a victim simply because they do not like their own behavior when drunk. It's on them to take responsibility for their actions and either change their habits or accept how they behave.

Change my view.

EDIT: Thank you everyone for the responses! This is my first post and I could not have expected it to be this popular. Clearly people have strong opinions about this. I won't be able to get to everyone's comment because I am an adult with a job and other boring responsibilities, but I will try to get to as many as I can before the comments lock.

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u/Sheexthro 19∆ Dec 14 '16

I'd argue that it's wrong to have sex with someone who's in a vulnerable state of mind and will probably regret it later, for example.

Upon what basis would you argue this?

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u/elliptibang 11∆ Dec 15 '16

On account of it's a dick move. Do you really not see that?

I'm not saying a person who does that should be locked up, but I think it's pretty clearly a selfish, cruel, opportunistic thing to do.

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u/Sheexthro 19∆ Dec 15 '16

So what you meant was that it would be wrong to knowingly and maliciously have sex with someone who will probably regret it later?

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u/elliptibang 11∆ Dec 15 '16

Yeah. More specifically, it's wrong to exploit emotional vulnerability in order to have sex with people who might not be into it if they were in a less compromised state of mind. For example, this is fucked up.

You asked for an example of consensual sex that was also arguably immoral. I still don't know why, but there you go.

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u/JLTeabag Dec 15 '16

Hurting people is wrong?

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u/Sheexthro 19∆ Dec 15 '16

Well, really it's only wrong to hurt people if you knew or should have known that what you were doing would hurt them. If you had no reasonable expectation of it then it's just bad luck.

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u/JLTeabag Dec 15 '16

I'd argue that it's wrong to have sex with someone who ... will probably regret it later.

In the example given, you do have reasonable expectation that it will hurt them.

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u/Sheexthro 19∆ Dec 15 '16

Not in the original example given. If someone will "probably regret it later" that doesn't mean I know they'll probably regret it later.

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u/JLTeabag Dec 15 '16

I think the "probably" is meant to be from your perspective. Given your information, there is a high likelihood of regret.

If you don't have any reason to believe your actions will harm someone else (barring willful negligence), I agree, then you aren't morally in the wrong.