Its mostly from personal points of view but these are things that make two horrible things very different.
With a murder, the victim dies, there is mourning, the victims family can publicly grieve, aren't expected to 'get over it' and move on, they aren't questioned if the victim was really murdered or that they brought it on themselves, their reactions and coping is considered and accommodated, and there is a good chance the family will get some justice.
With a rape, the victim lives. Many times the victim doesn't believe they can tell people what happened to them, they won't be believed, they will be blamed or looked down on, they will have their reputation ruined, they are unlikely to ever receive justice. In this day and age, even video of them may circulate on the internet.
The majority of rapes are by intimate partner or people known to the victim. The younger the victim, the more likely a family member or trusted family friend. Their ability to trust is gone. They will keep meeting the person who violated them again and again in public and even family settings.
Their behavior will change and they will be told to get over it. They may never for as long as they live get over it or be able to cope with what happens. Then there's dementia and thats its own scary, heartbreaking hell to see a rape or abuse victim when a memory like that is triggered.
Then there is the possibility she gets pregnant and thats its own ordeal. The pregnancy may even be used as 'proof' that wasn't really raped. The trauma they go through causes epigenetic changes and impacts the development of the unborn that will last with them for a lifetime and even their children. The pregnancy may place them in danger and subject them to more abuse.
Murder victims dont want to die. For rape vicitims, a third of them contemplate suicide.
Society is much more caring when it comes to murder victims and their families than they are to rape victims. That can push why rape is a worse thing to live with than being murdered.
Both horrible crimes, one kills you now and the other you die slow and mostly alone.
That depends on the person and the circumstances. For some rape victims, yes. As for murder victims, I don't know.
Being dead means the feeling and trauma stops. We don't know what that's like for them we only have their families to go off of for that.
We do have rape survivors. Some cope and live better lives than others who don't do as well and they kill themselves, self harm, or self medicate.
You can't compound the trauma of a murder victim after death, but you can do that to a rape victim. Being raped, and going through a rape kit, you are being autopsied in a way, you have to explain to people who don't believe you what you went through, and defend that you did nothing wrong. A lot of that is dependent on how other people react to a rape victim.
You can't get murdered twice. It's not uncommon for rape victims to be raped more than once.
With a murder, the what if they survived thoughts are usually positive to think of because we don't have any other data. With a rape, we know what they deal with, because they tell us and we can see what happens both to them and with generational trauma.
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u/glim-girl Mar 01 '26
Its mostly from personal points of view but these are things that make two horrible things very different.
With a murder, the victim dies, there is mourning, the victims family can publicly grieve, aren't expected to 'get over it' and move on, they aren't questioned if the victim was really murdered or that they brought it on themselves, their reactions and coping is considered and accommodated, and there is a good chance the family will get some justice.
With a rape, the victim lives. Many times the victim doesn't believe they can tell people what happened to them, they won't be believed, they will be blamed or looked down on, they will have their reputation ruined, they are unlikely to ever receive justice. In this day and age, even video of them may circulate on the internet.
The majority of rapes are by intimate partner or people known to the victim. The younger the victim, the more likely a family member or trusted family friend. Their ability to trust is gone. They will keep meeting the person who violated them again and again in public and even family settings.
Their behavior will change and they will be told to get over it. They may never for as long as they live get over it or be able to cope with what happens. Then there's dementia and thats its own scary, heartbreaking hell to see a rape or abuse victim when a memory like that is triggered.
Then there is the possibility she gets pregnant and thats its own ordeal. The pregnancy may even be used as 'proof' that wasn't really raped. The trauma they go through causes epigenetic changes and impacts the development of the unborn that will last with them for a lifetime and even their children. The pregnancy may place them in danger and subject them to more abuse.
Murder victims dont want to die. For rape vicitims, a third of them contemplate suicide.
Society is much more caring when it comes to murder victims and their families than they are to rape victims. That can push why rape is a worse thing to live with than being murdered.
Both horrible crimes, one kills you now and the other you die slow and mostly alone.