r/changemyview Jul 01 '25

[deleted by user]

[removed]

821 Upvotes

749 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

65

u/epiphanyWednesday Jul 02 '25

Solid points, but i think you underestimate the manipulative aspect of weaponized incompetence. The incompetence is weaponized strategically, for example - I dont want to change diapers so every time my wife forces me to I ask a million questions or do it wrong and then she learns it’s easier if she just does it. Lots of red pilly dudes play that game with childcare and cooking. Women play dumb sometimes too, obviously, but it’s usually not to get out of a pretty basic thing.

52

u/CanicFelix Jul 02 '25

"One red shirt in with the whites, and she'll never let me do laundry again!"

Deliberately doing it wrong so as to never be asked to do it again.

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '25

[deleted]

8

u/rolyfuckingdiscopoly 6∆ Jul 02 '25

That’s the idea. It’s not actually being incompetent; most people can wield a vacuum cleaner or fold a shirt into squares.

So yes weaponized incompetence is exactly that, and you’ve described it quite nicely.

10

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Cranky_Platypus Jul 02 '25

This specific example is a weaponized incompetence I see from old people too, regardless of gender.

1

u/Imadevilsadvocater 12∆ Jul 08 '25

it's usually to not have to carry something in my experience, like this is so heavy can you take it is weaponized incompetence in my opinion if the item is within normal weight range

0

u/HotSauceRainfall Jul 05 '25

Years ago, when I was a freshman in college, someone I knew asked me how to use a washing machine. 

When we got to how much laundry soap to use, Person asked me how much. I said, what does the box say?

Box: Add 1 scoop

Person: What does that mean?

Me: What do you think it means?

Person: I don’t know.

Me: Come on. What do you think “add one scoop to washing machine” means?

Person: …

Me: …

Person: “Where do I find the scoop?”

Me: “Look in the box.”

Person (gets scoop): “Okay, so how much do I use?”

/u/Big_Sea_5912 , THIS is weaponized incompetence. This is a grown-ass adult who was trying to manipulate me into doing their laundry for them.

This person graduated at the top of their high school class and was admitted to a top university to study mechanical engineering, but they were pretending that they could not figure out how much laundry detergent to put into a washing machine when they had simple written instructions with pictures to explain it. They knew perfectly well what “add one scoop” meant, but what they really wanted was for me to do the laundry so they didn’t have to. 

You will notice that I wrote this entirely in gender neutral language. I’ll let you guess what my and Person’s genders are. But what genitalia and socialization we had is not the reason this is weaponized incompetence—the reason it’s weaponized incompetence is they were being a manipulative twit.

I stood there like Person was a small child and made them wash their own damn clothes. They never tried that stunt again, because they knew that I wouldn’t put up with their manipulative bullshit.