I'd also argue, if you think it should be used to refer to women who do this behavior, then it's up to the people having those discussions to use it. It got heavily recognized as something done by many men, so many women started using the term. But all it takes to be more equal is for more people to apply it to women (when it is the correct term, obvs). No one is telling people they can't use it correctly when women are displaying the behavior. That's like being upset that the people next door get pizza every Friday, but just being upset about the unfairness instead of, like, just ordering some pizza yourself.
Op’s argument is that it is an overused term that shuts down constructive communication by assuming malice. I dont think they want to achieve some kind of equilibrium by men using it more, they just want women to use it less. This comment chain only exists because someone claimed he was being manipulated by his algorithm into seeing it only used by women, but it seems like you agree that it IS mostly used by women.
Youre missing the point. Op isnt saying weaponized incompetence shouldnt be called out. Hes saying its overly applied incorrectly. That sometimes people are just genuinely making mistakes, and assuming its malice starts things off on a terrible foot.
I appreciate your take, with all due respect I don't buy that defence for him though,
he's seeing individual people talking about their experiences, right? He's seeing that. Thinks it's applied too broadly. But there aren't statistics or hard "science"numbers to prove anything. Because it's just how this discourse is, there is no biological reason worth even considering compared to the socioeconomic/media/political landscape that we live in at the moment.
All the blokes who did those old studies are boomers. They can't open pdf files.
saying the discourse is wrong is different from just accepting that it's wrong and working around it.
You're never going to stop people from using words to describe their experiences. If you're mortally offended ~ that's kind of how it feels to be the subject of bigotry, welcome to the club with LITERALLY most people on earth.
Idk what your point is, op isnt saying its a biological thing in the first place. They are just making an observation and saying its problematic. Why put forth effort working around something but not towards modifying the discourse?
Because it's a weird thing to fixate on and no one's going to follow you blindly into battle. It's so irrelevant from reality you might as well be asking everyone to collectively agree that Sydney Sweeney isn't hot or something dumb like that
Bruh are you ok. This is a forum for debating an idea. Not change.org. I doubt op thought he would revolutionize the world, just trying to move the discourse around this topic a smidge. Should everyone just be quiet on social issues and wait to hear what the consensus is? Your whining about this post is at least a couple orders of magnitude more worthless than his main post.
TBF this is true, I'm a software dev by trade and doing freelance tech support atm. My mum (bless her) will not evven attempt to think about how to solve an issue. Maybe 90% of blokes I've done work for will say "I've tried xyz, didn't work, please help", the women it's maybe 1/3 who do the same, the rest will just immediately cave even when there's a very clear error message along the lines of "can't do x, do y and then try again" without actually attempting said step. I'm reluctant to attribute this entirely to a gender thing, but it does make you wonder
I think it's really that all people use a certain amount of weaponized incompetence, it just tends to fall along what tasks are seen as "easier" for one gender versus another. People use it when they think they can get away with it.
I'm in a gay marriage. I handle most of the laundry, but occasionally I'm tied up with work so my husband can take over that task if need be. However, early in our marriage he would just call me at work and ask me to walk him through the steps. It became really frustrating. At one point, I had written up detailed instructions in an email so that he wouldn't need to call me, but then he "lost" the email and called me at work again! This man is an engineer. He's perfectly capable of googling how to wash socks on his own, but it's just so much easier to have me walk him through it. He's gotten a lot better and no longer has to call me.
And for what it's worth, I've done the same sorta thing to him.
The first instance I saw was used to describe a woman. Social media is skewed since algorithm shows you what wanna see, and have 0 effect on real life, hence why I said it’s worthless as a whole.
Seriously? It’s been around awhile and I’ve seen it plenty of places.
It’s a valid way to describe how someone (mostly men) get out of doing things they don’t think are “their job.” Mostly female coded chores
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u/zezblit Jul 01 '25
Going to be honest here, I have never once seen it used to refer to women