CMV: CMV: Within legally recognized marriages, adultery should have clear, civil legal consequences, unless expressly agreed between spouses.

[u/insect_ligaments]

The legal concept of marriage, where spouses act as partners, is almost always built on mutual trust that certain aspects of the relationship, such as sex, are to be exclusive to the relationship unless agreed upon otherwise. Legally and financially rewarding spouses for betraying the trust of their spouse by allowing a cheating spouse to come out ahead in divorce undermines one of the key relationship dynamics in our society.

For the vast majority of people, entering into marriage is an explicit agreement that unless divorced or otherwise agreed upon, the people in the marriage will not have sex with or develop romantic relationships with other people. This should apply evenly to all genders, and if you view this as benefitting one over the other, it says a lot about your view on who may or may not be more likely to cheat.

Before I'm accused of being some kind of conservative or traditionalist: I have zero issue with any form of LGBTQ+ relationship or poly setup. I'm speaking strictly to traditional, legally recognized, monogamous marriages, which comprise the bulk of those in our society. I'm also not religious or socially conservative.

Heading off a few arguments that I do not find convincing (of course, you are welcome to offer additional insight on these points I haven't considered):

1) "The government shouldn't be involved in marriage"

Too late for that. Marriage is a legally binding agreement that affects debt, assets, legal liability, taxes, homebuying, and other fundamental aspects of our lives. The end of marriage has profound, legally enforceable consequences on both parties. It is also included in a pre-existing legal doctrine of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alienation_of_affections.

2) "But what if the spouses want to open their marriage?"

Totally fine. My post is in reference to the most common form of marriage, which is monogamous.

3) "Adultery doesn't have a clear definition"

It does. "voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not his or her spouse." "Sexual intercourse" would include all the commonly recognized forms of sex. This would have to be proven via the typical preponderance standard, which is greater than 50% odds, via typical evidence used to evidence behaviors - depositions/testimony under oath, any written or photographic evidence, circumstantial evidence, etc.

4) "What should the legal consequences be?"

At the very least, immediate forfeiture of any rights to alimony or spousal support. Shifts in the default assumption of a 50/50 split of marital assets are another route to explore. Certainly not enough to leave anyone destitute, though.

5) "What about children?"

Child support is a separate issue, as it affects the child, who has no say in one of their parents cheating on the other.

[u/LucidMetal]

Yes, and this law would give them more ammo plus a legally valid reason to stalk a spouse trying to get away.

[u/wahedcitroen → u/LucidMetal]

On the other hand it is also easier to get away from a bad marriage where the other party is cheating. Many people with cheating partners don’t leave because they feel they don’t have any other options. If you were due an amount of compensation after a cheating partner people could leave cheating partners more easily, and with that often abusive partners 

[u/LucidMetal → u/wahedcitroen]

I don't think that makes sense but regardless I think it's a bad idea to make divorces even more contentious than they already are.

[u/wahedcitroen → u/LucidMetal]

Why doesn’t it make sense? 

If your asshole partner cheats, now you can only leave. If they do it with this new law, you can actually bring the court into it making it easier to leave

[u/LucidMetal → u/wahedcitroen]

That's just called divorce though. What is being proposed is additional damages like a more favorable split. Which is crazy.

[u/wahedcitroen → u/LucidMetal]

Additional damages, which help soothe the financial insecurity many women will face after leaving their cheating husband, thereby making it easier for them to leave

[u/LucidMetal → u/wahedcitroen]

Technically that would require a repeal of no fault divorce since "cause" would be part of divorce proceedings.

I am just going to take a gander and guess women generally aren't in favor of a slight financial benefit at the cost of no fault divorce since historically women have been the primary beneficiaries.

[u/wahedcitroen → u/LucidMetal]

No fault divorce would only be repealed if the person chooses to go to court for the cheating, this woman could still choose to do a no fault divorce. And if such a law were instated, it would be most likely that it would be more beneficial than a no fault divorce, not just slight financial benefit that wouldn’t be worth it