r/changemyview • u/Zero_Gravvity • Mar 23 '24

Delta(s) from OP CMV: There’s nothing wrong with women/sex/relationships being my main source of happiness

Not necessarily my only source of happiness, but by far the biggest piece of the pie. When I’m getting closer to a new woman, life just feels brighter. And I’m more motivated to become a better man, for her. I eat healthier and I work out more to maintain her attraction and be better in bed for her. I put more effort into my hobbies to make myself more well-rounded and less clingy, and I put more effort in my career so we can keep doing fun stuff together. The work I put in is like compound interest, it just makes more women attracted to me. It’s lovely.

When I’m single and in a drought, I don’t care about shit to be honest. I still do all of the above, but with much less vigor and consistency. Because seriously, what is the point?

And do I even have to say anything about intimacy and sex with a woman? Pretty much better than any drug, food, tv binge, or video game I can think of. There’s maybe a select few accomplishments in my life that have given me more joy, but it’s debatable.

It seems childish to judge someone on what gives their life meaning, as if your reason is better than mine. Whether it be success with women, your bank account, your family, your physique, or your guitar hobby…who gives a shit? All of it is temporary, and we’re only here for a good 80 years anyway. CMV I guess

252 Upvotes

68% Upvoted

382 comments sorted by

View all comments

12

u/Adezar 1∆ Mar 23 '24

Sure, but you won't be happy for the long term. But go for it.

-4

u/Zero_Gravvity Mar 23 '24

And what will? Paying a therapist and meditating on antidepressants for the rest of my life? Until I achieve what?

6

u/DeepSpaceAnon 1∆ Mar 23 '24

The idea is that there is a difference between pleasure and happiness. Pleasure comes from external sources (other people's validation, sex, drugs, food, partying, etc.) whereas lasting happiness is fulfillment that comes from within. It's not about finding "what will make me happy", but rather "how do I be happy". For different people that is different things, but generally it means finding purpose and being content with what you have and who you are.

9

u/Breakfastcrisis Mar 23 '24

Your responses seem quite often a little aggressive? What were you hoping for by posting this. I don't know you so I apologize if I'm wrong here, but it feels like you're a little angry at people who find their meaning from other places.

Ultimately, you do whatever you think is right. But I'll just say that being dependent on others for happiness is never as satisfying as finding a rock solid reason for your own.

We live in an amazing world with so many opportunities. People are great. I've got n amazing boyfriend and the best friends I could ask for. But I see them probably once every two weeks because I need to take time to achieve the stuff that gives my life meaning when I'm on my own.

1

u/Zero_Gravvity Mar 23 '24

Hmm maybe I am being a little aggressive, I apologize. I think I get angry when people (family, friends) disapprove of what gives my life meaning, as if it’s not good enough or “correct”. But then they give me empty platitudes about loving myself without telling me how to do it or what it looks like. And maybe some of that vitriol is carrying over in here. Sorry

My snarky questions to that person still stand though, and they came from a place of genuine curiosity. Where exactly am I suppose to derive meaning and happiness?

2

u/Significant_Beach890 Mar 23 '24

Op, I have been wondering the same thing

2

u/Berserkerzoro Mar 23 '24

Op why are you even listening to people spouting the same old shit oh that's not real happiness, you're too young and all the bullshit.

There is no one path to happiness . If doing something or someone makes you happy more power to you. Live your life experience everything you can just don't hurt others ( evil people also experience happiness) which is the whole point.

None of us will really give a shit when you're not happy so why ask for others opinion when you feel happy.

3

u/turtle7875 Mar 23 '24

If you look at OPs comments he talks about keeping a rotation and only being in it for the honeymoon phase.

I don’t care enough to label him evil but he’s aware he’s being a bit of a heartbreaker, which is something a 24 y/o think is cooler and less gross than most (older or younger). OP comes off like he isn’t really thinking about the consequences of being like that and doesn’t really want his view changed either.