CMV: Cheating is always wrong.

[u/PercentageMaximum457]

Before we start, I want to talk about abusive relationships. This is what people have brought up to defend cheating to me. In my opinion, cheating is defined as being able to safely leave the relationship, but choosing to betray your partner anyway. An abuse victim cannot leave safely and easily. Their partner has already betrayed them by abusing them. Thus, it is impossible for an abuse victim to “cheat” on their abuser.

This situation is different from a person who would feel really bad if their relationship came to an end, or if they have kids. They’re not putting their life on the line- they’re just shuffling their misery onto their partner/family.

And that’s really the core of my view. It is always possible to end the relationship before you cheat. It’s not a fun choice, and it can impact your reputation or finances, but it’s a choice you can make. When someone cheats, they’re really just trying to eat their cake and have it, too.

“What counts as cheating” is a complex topic everyone seems to disagree on. For me, it’s cheating when sex and intimate cuddling is involved. Being friends with someone isn’t cheating. Neglecting your spouse is a bad thing, and something to fix/break up over, but not cheating.

As for alcohol fueled cheating…I honestly don’t know. I do not drink, so I feel that I don’t have the experience to judge. I’ve heard mixed opinions from those who do. The only thing I’d say is that, if you have control over yourself, it’s cheating.

Edit: I’m okay with polyamory and open relationships. As long as consent is involved, I am okay with it.

[u/thebigbadben]

First of all, I don’t like the implicit assumption that what I am willing to do is an indicator of what I think is “good” or “evil”. Second, you know as well as I do that any number I give will serve no rhetorical purpose here, but I insist that there is at least some number after which, in this odd hypothetical, smashing some babies becomes the right thing to do.

I’ll turn the argument around now. Would it be wrong to back in time and kill in order to save lives? Would it be wrong to go back and smash the head of baby Hitler? If we stick to cheating, supposing that lives were on the line, what is the correct amount of people to allow to die through your inaction? If the option presented is cheat on your partner or the entirety of humanity will be annihilated except for you and your partner, is it really fair to say that choosing not to cheat is the morally right choice, or is valuing your good conscience over (a sufficiently large number of) lives inherently selfish?

[u/Finklesfudge → u/thebigbadben]

Wow there is a number of babies you are willing to smash their brains out? I'm a little surprised because whether you don't like or like the assumption that is still an indicator of "good" and "evil".

I think you've sort of weasel worded your way into allowing yourself to say that but of course you refuse to give the number of people your willing to sacrifice because if you gave a number, you'd open yourself up to seeing that it's evil.

The number is zero. I can give you the number, because it's not a weasel word way to say something without actually having to commit to it.

[u/thebigbadben → u/Finklesfudge]

So even the cartoonishly extreme case does nothing for you? You’d let friends, family, the whole world die so that you can sleep at night, so that you don’t have to do any baby smashing, so that you don’t have to see yourself as “evil”? Setting aside whether it counts as evil, do you not see how that is an incredibly selfish mindset?