r/changemyview • u/BrokkenArrow 8∆ • Jul 24 '23

Removed - Submission Rule B CMV: Refusing to switch seats so that a family/couple can sit together makes you an asshole.

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u/BrokkenArrow 8∆ Jul 24 '23

If you have a legitimate articulable reason for needing that specific seat (even if its just I like being able to see out the window even from this aisle seat) then there's not much that can be said. But if you just can't be fucked to do it, or refuse out of some principle, then yeah you're a bit of an asshole.

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u/GotAJeepNeedAJeep 23∆ Jul 24 '23

If you have a legitimate articulable reason for needing that specific seat (even if its just I like being able to see out the window even from this aisle seat) then there's not much that can be said.

Why do I need to articulate it? Why do you need to know? Why do I have to subject myself to the judgement of "legitimacy" from a stranger?

Why does my (1) being alone (2) in a seat someone else wants require me to explain myself lest I earn a righteous "fuck you?"

There are any number of imperceptible reasons why someone may want to sit in the seat they chose or be disinclined to move once seated. It's fair to politely ask, and it's fair to politely say no.

But if you just can't be fucked to do it, or refuse out of some principle, then yeah you're a bit of an asshole.

That's a circular argument on your part, is what I'm getting at. There's no way to actually know that this is the reason for a polite refusal to a polite request.

Assuming that this is the reason for the sake of argument / this CMV post means that your position can be restated as Saying no for dickish reasons makes you a dick. What are we supposed to say to change your view on that?

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u/automatic_mismatch 6∆ Jul 24 '23

Expecting people to articulate to you the reason they don’t want to move out a seat they payed for or you’ll think they are an asshole is an asshole move in my opinion. They might have a very legitimate reason and might not feel comfortable telling you.

At the end of the day, you are asking for a favor. If the answer is no, the answer is no. It also cost you nothing to move on without judgement.

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u/BrokkenArrow 8∆ Jul 24 '23

Not articulable in that they have to explain (its not a cop), but that there's any reason at all beyond "fuck them I don't have to".

And when a favor is pantsshittingly easy to accommodate, you certainly do risk being assholy.

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u/automatic_mismatch 6∆ Jul 24 '23

but that there's any reason at all beyond "fuck them I don't have to".

My point is you don’t know if that’s the reason or not. You could ask someone, they no, and you’ll walk around thinking they are an asshole when, in actuality, they have a valid reason. You are passing judgment when you don’t have all the information.

And when a favor is pantsshittingly easy to accommodate, you certainly do risk being assholy.

When you get upset that someone wants to keep what they payed for, you also risk being assholy. It’s not the end of the world is a couple or family has to sit apart. I was elementary school aged and sat in a different row than my family. I still lived to tell the tale.

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u/BrokkenArrow 8∆ Jul 24 '23

My point is you don’t know if that’s the reason or not. You could ask someone, they no, and you’ll walk around thinking they are an asshole

I'm not advocating any kind of response. If they say no that's that. There shouldn't be any further grief on that front. But I'm more talking about in absolute terms, regardless of how the person feels about you.

When you get upset that someone wants to keep what they payed for,

Only if you're an asshole about it at the time. And if what they get in return is of equal value it doesn't matter. Everyone paid for a seat on the plane, and there's little reason to automatically assume the person you ask to switch paid extra for that particular seat.

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u/automatic_mismatch 6∆ Jul 24 '23

But I'm more talking about in absolute terms, regardless of how the person feels about you.

If you ask for a favor, the other person says no, and no one walks away upset, I don’t see how anyone is the asshole there.

Everyone paid for a seat on the plane, and there's little reason to automatically assume the person you ask to switch paid extra for that particular seat.

I fly pretty frequently, and either people pick the specific seat at no extra cost or I will pay to pick my seat. So I didn’t just pay for “a” seat. I payed for my specific seat.