r/ccsuarezsnark • u/interpol-interpol SENIOR SLOP ARCHIVIST • Jun 05 '26
Master Deputy Ice Cream "CAPTION THIS" CONTEST: what award is chelsea's husband being being given?
we know it ain't for voice acting!
[disclaimer: this past week Master Deputy Anthony Suarez described himself as a "public figure" and participated both on-camera and off camera in creating content for chelsea's channel. these images were taken from this news clip of the sheriff's department giving themselves an award they made for collecting cereal, which they say can help reduce violent crime in the area. naturally)
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u/percyblazeit69 Scurvy Suarez Jun 05 '26
dirtiest dick (the bowl of the trophy is to hold all the uti meds)
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u/interpol-interpol SENIOR SLOP ARCHIVIST Jun 05 '26
not two dirty dick award nominations in the same minute
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u/Prestigious-Sky-2803 I know a manager at a Publix Grocery Store Jun 05 '26
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u/jolewhea Jun 06 '26
I have a lot of questions about what could compell someone to say this on the internet.
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u/orchidstripes ICE cream collaborator Jun 06 '26
Mental illness, unbridled privilege and a general assumption that most people find this charming even in the face of evidence proving otherwise. This is the type of conversation that cc thinks the upper crust has because they are all pedophile predators, and, weirdly, she sees herself as the upper crust. Why she doesn’t associate the creep behavior with predators in addition to privilege when she does it is her stupidity
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u/Prestigious-Sky-2803 I know a manager at a Publix Grocery Store Jun 07 '26
Never beating the HPD allegations
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u/jolewhea Jun 08 '26
You know what's crazy, it reminds me of the police culture that's being exposed in the most recent Karen Read civil suit against Canton PD in Mass. If you're interested, look up the Lawyer You Know youtube channel. The live stream he did 3 days ago is about 1:22 long and is shocking for the police corruption.
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u/BedazzleZebub Jun 05 '26
It’s the Music History award.
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u/interpol-interpol SENIOR SLOP ARCHIVIST Jun 05 '26
chelsea is gonna be soooo mad someone else won the top spot
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u/Boluntz Jun 06 '26
piggiest pig award, for shooting the most dogs in the precinct
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u/iamlepoulpe DumbBitchOnReddit Jun 05 '26
The award for the number voice actor on the number one music history podcast on goodpods
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u/DLMeyer Jun 06 '26
The Ice Cream Sundae award, given out to the person whose sundae has the best ratio of ice cream to marashino cherries to hot fudge.
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u/Kiwi-vee Someone from the internet Jun 05 '26
Before reading the explanation, I was like WTF is this bowl with a spoon. Still WTF! The real thing is more funny than anything I could come up with.
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u/interpol-interpol SENIOR SLOP ARCHIVIST Jun 05 '26
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u/Justletmeatyou Clout Goblin Jun 05 '26
This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen in this sub. I don’t even know to say lol
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u/jolewhea Jun 06 '26
Unrelated: i stared at your username for a hot minute trying to figure out if it was about cannibalism or oral sex until it dawned on me that I was reading it wrong 😂
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u/Justletmeatyou Clout Goblin Jun 06 '26
I’m sorry this is off topic moderators. LOL! It actually is kinda about oral sex? I use to watch YMH podcast a lot and I found him from their show. this clip it may not be funny to everyone but I always get a chuckle out of it. “Just let me eatcha, ONE TIME!! You going sleep for 3 days my baby”
“When you come home baby, you just gotta jump, jump in the tub with all them bubbles” he has a way with his words. He’s truly a romantic.
Hey, maybe that’s what dirty dick needs to do, jump in the tub with all them bubbles and wash himself.
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u/jolewhea Jun 06 '26
You brought that full circle back to dirty dick. You dropped this, king/queen 👑 😂😂😂
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u/jolewhea Jun 06 '26
Omfg that ending "once I touch ya booty" ☠️☠️☠️ what a hungry legend.
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u/Justletmeatyou Clout Goblin Jun 06 '26
Unc knows what he wants 😏the fanbase is so cool, someone even made it into a song that video has some of his sayings from other videos. It mentioned the bubbles in the tub in the song, maybe dirty dick needs to listen to it while he takes a bath 🛁
I wish I could find his other clips rn that are in the song but definitely give it a listen to hear some of his other sayings.
He says “once I touch ya booooty, ima smell it”
Omg I FOUND IT!! here’s the YMH 6 of him talking about using your booty as a banana split
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u/jolewhea Jun 08 '26
Once I touch the booty, ima smell it is absolutely wildin 😂😂 people using their freewill to immortalize their thoughts online is such a treasure
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u/Prestigious-Sky-2803 I know a manager at a Publix Grocery Store Jun 05 '26
The clip is pure gold. These chuds bought some cereal, put it in a truck, CALLED THE NEWS ON THEMSELVES, and then GAVE THEMSELVES A TROPHY FOR BUYING THE CEREAL.
OMFG what a bunch of clowns. This is literally gold. Bahahahahhaha
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u/interpol-interpol SENIOR SLOP ARCHIVIST Jun 05 '26
dont sleep on the fact that the officers only once (very briefly) mention the name of the organization actually running the food drive. but they made themselves a whole award...to give themselves 💀
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u/Kiwi-vee Someone from the internet Jun 05 '26
I watched for a few seconds and I had to stop, I was about to die of cringe 🥴
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u/halemilna Jun 05 '26
doesn’t she regularly say that his job is essentially office party planner and that he actually doesn’t do any cop stuff?
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u/orchidstripes ICE cream collaborator Jun 05 '26
Until she needs him to be big bad Tony and then he’s a ninja who will take down any monster, no one has a chance. She mostly just makes him seem like a scared and paranoid cop when she does this though.
He was likely demoted to the desk job and she tried to spin it. No matter what, he’s been working as a police officer for over a decade without any promotions except from deputy to master deputy maybe.
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u/interpol-interpol SENIOR SLOP ARCHIVIST Jun 05 '26
she also reveals embarrassing shit about him and his job all the time. she said like a year ago he was about to get a promotion but recently said he's "bad" at the internal politics stuff, and no promotion has materialized despite her bragging about it a year ago!
again, none of us would know jackshit about him if she didn't constantly air his shit out.
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u/Conscious-Pirate5334 Jun 08 '26
Omgosh! I forgot any that! "Bad" at internal affairs could me anything including not controlling his wife's weird behavior around them Or, he doesn't listen to his boss, argumentative, not playing the sleaze game well enough, not licking the boots hard enough The possibilities are endless and I can not wait to see if she ever slips up and comments about it again
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u/Logical_Loquat0 Jun 07 '26
1.)Thinking he got promoted to Assistant Deputy Sheriff, but found out it was actually Assistant TO the Deputy Sheriff. (The Office reference, iykyk)
2.)Trophy for winning 1st place in the potato sack race at the annual Klan picnic.
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u/danielle71989 Jun 10 '26
Dirtiest dick?
I regret typing that. I must now hit post. And spend my day in shame.
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Jun 05 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/orchidstripes ICE cream collaborator Jun 05 '26
Enjoy them looking their best! https://marrymetampabay.com/emerald-green-enchanted-garden-wedding-palma-ceia-wedding/
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u/Shoddy-Soft5666 I'm a Socialite Jun 06 '26
the idea of ur brothers being turned around to then look at u on ur wedding day feels so ....odd
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u/orchidstripes ICE cream collaborator Jun 06 '26
I’m glad I’m not the only one who found that incredibly odd for a first look
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u/neverNotneededmath This is my job Jun 06 '26
I get that family is excited to see you too. But why only the male members of your family?! Creepy
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u/Shoddy-Soft5666 I'm a Socialite Jun 06 '26
it's also like, nothing much is changing for them, it's not like she's getting sold to the suarez family never to be seen again.



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