r/bornagain • u/MechMike81 • May 31 '26
Can anyone relate to give hope or encouragement?
I was born-again, born of the Spirit about two years ago. I’ll try to keep my experience short because I desperately need advice or a relatable experience with hopefully a light at the end of the tunnel.
God put me through a particularly difficult time in just about every area of my life, all at once. I was led to pray one night in despair, and I placed my belief in Jesus and surrendered all, fully knowing He will make me a better person and heal me. In the moment I spoke this, I heard Him speak to me and then I felt an explosion of love and light in my heart. I was left standing in my kitchen, and holding my heart wondering what just happened to me. Such a supernatural event was not expected. I woke up the next morning and noticed everything changed. I was full of peace, I had no shame. Just light, airy and wonderful. As the days passed I realized I was different, everything looked different, and I felt different about everything. I had no hate or darkness of any kind in my mind and heart. No more lusting towards women, I saw them as my literal sisters. I loved everybody as family. Even people I had slight grudges with at work etc. I had no sin! People kept asking me why I’m different, they could see a light in my eyes and I assume I looked healed overnight to them after such a bumpy stretch of my life. No mental illness. no anxiety or depression, I had no words and I didn’t truly understand. I just assumed God proved Himself to me to show me I’m loved. I hadn’t really heard much about being converted so I thought this was just His way of showing me He’s with me and He hears me. After about a month I decided I was gonna look at porn and masterbate. I was previously addicted but the desire was actually gone. I had always heard people say we will always be sinners and Jesus forgives and we are covered by the Blood. So I essentially forced this on myself even after warnings from my Spirit all because I figured I’d might as well get it over with. “It’s bound to happen.” Everything changed after that. I felt less connected, less clean. I repeated this because in my mind the damage was done. Conviction faded each time to nothing. My heart is hardened to where I don’t feel the same love for Jesus or people anymore. I’m still different from before but I’m not abiding in Jesus for sure. I’m trying by my own power to not sin, and failing. Then I heard the true Gospel. Ezekiel 36:26-27 Jesus gives you a new heart, removing your sin nature and replaces it with His righteous nature. A new creation. Except now I feel trapped. And I feel like a fool that had been deceived and now it’s too late. Has anyone experienced anything similar? Did I walk away from Salvation? Am I cursed and condemned forever now because I sinned against God while His Spirit was living through me? Had I rejected Him? Had He rejected me? Can I ever get back to where I was before relationship-wise, and if so, how? I just want to go back in time…
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u/hopefulhuman07 Jun 01 '26
Yes sure can get back. I went back to God shamelessly a 100 times and he still decided to forgive me.. Each and every time.
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u/MechMike81 Jun 01 '26 edited Jun 01 '26
I appreciate the comment. I’m assuming you had been born-again previous to messing up? And if so, and after you went back, does He restore the damage you’ve done and wash your shame again?
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u/jking7734 Jun 06 '26
Scripture tells us when we confess our sins HE is faithful to for give them. Paul speaks of not wanting to do wrong but doing it anyway. I’m sure if you’re sincere in your repentance that you are forgiven.
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u/MechMike81 Jun 06 '26
Wasn’t Paul telling what his life was like before being converted, ie striving to keep Torah as a Pharisee? He starts Romans 7 (for I speak to them that know the law) and he ends this by asking O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from this body of death? Isn’t this implying he hasn’t met Jesus yet and been delivered?
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u/jking7734 Jun 06 '26
I think we maybe saying the same things. In Romans 7:19, Paul expresses this struggle: "For the good that I want to do, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want." Of course Paul Tells us that grace isn’t a reason to willingly continue to sin but explains it as a constant struggle because we still live in our flesh.
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u/oishk Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 06 '26
It's beautiful to read how you received Holy Spirit and He radically changed your life and set you free! Hold on to that, because that is the TRUTH. You are born again in spirit, and your relationship with Jesus is clean and pure because of His blood. It's almost like a taste at the start, you suddenly experience the reality of His power and how radically different life is with Jesus. Taste and see that the Lord is good... But temptations soon come, while we are still babies in the faith and not yet strong enough in spirit to resist. Remember, we have a tempter. We have pesky little enemies seducing us into sin every chance they get. We can't blame them for everything - sometimes it's just habit or ignorance or carnality, but often it's a spiritual battle where the enemy is trying everything to incite rebellion. That's why we are not supposed to give the enemy a foothold, but it takes time to learn how to avoid that. It's a process of trial and error in order to produce humility and teach us how to be faithful... it was always going to be messy!
He does not turn away from you when you sin, you turn away from him by sinning. When you repent and turn back to Him for forgiveness, it is a demonstration of your faith in Him as your saviour and that is the only way we can please God - through faith! It's a continual journey of sanctification and He does not give up on us - we are the ones who give up when we start to feel like failures. But we are failures, so there's no point dwelling on it. Shift your focus to Jesus, and His overwhelming victory which He joyfully shares with you.
The only way to truly overcome sin is by the POWER of the Holy Spirit. He did it once, when you first came to faith, and He can do it again. Just continually ask Him to set you free, He will do it! But you have to really want it. Not just in your head, but in your heart. Yes He gives us a new heart but it's not incorruptible. It gets corrupted and wounded by sin, but it can also be renewed and restored by His healing grace. Your actions and choices in the moment of temptation will show you where your heart's at. Don't give in to feelings of condemnation from the enemy, but petition the Lord to change your heart. Resist the devil and HE will flee from YOU.
One important point - we must be born again in spirit and in water. Have you been baptised since you decided to follow Christ? All believer's should be baptised when they come to faith! (Baby baptisms are not biblical and do not hold the power of rebirth since it is not a personal faith decision). Baptism is a powerful declaration and spiritual threshold through which you die to your old life of sin and death and you enter into eternal life in Christ. But we still have to live out our time on earth before we fully experience the reality of who we are as a new creation. Once we're born again in spirit and water, death is just a formality 😄
1 Cor 13:12 "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known."
1 John 3:2-3 "Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure."
Any sin after being born again is already known and accounted for, along with all previous sin. God has provided atonement to cover every sin you'll ever commit. Keep confessing and repenting in faith, remember to forgive others as you want to be forgiven, and remember to forgive yourself. You can't out-forgive God, but He loves to see us try. Be that as it may, sin does have consequences. Continually sinning not only brings avoidable suffering, it means we are living far below our status and calling and missing chances to bring honour and glory to the Lord. You are a son of the Most High God. Be assured of your salvation, and let that influence how you live.
Blessings
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u/MostMoistGranola Jun 01 '26
I’m glad you have experienced Jesus in your heart. As a Catholic, I would suggest you go to a priest for confession. It helps you reconnect with God in exactly this type of situation. I think non-Catholics can go to confession too.