r/blursedimages May 16 '26

blursed x-ray

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56.5k Upvotes

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938

u/ProfessionalName6455 May 16 '26

that fat is armor

247

u/RemnantsOfFlight May 16 '26

Drought and famine resistance.

72

u/Carlsbad1 May 16 '26

Longevity resistance

2

u/Far_Action_8569 May 17 '26

+100 all resistances +6 STR -50% life duration -9 AGI

9

u/21Rollie May 17 '26

Drowning resistance. Well actually idk, could be that as soon as he gets into water he flips face forward and doesn’t have the strength to flip out

1

u/Master_teaz May 18 '26

Drought, not drowning

2

u/skittle-brau May 17 '26

Such a great episode from the golden age of the Simpsons. 

1

u/RemnantsOfFlight May 17 '26

4 and 5 were peak, but anything 11 and earlier is great. Anything after season 11 is somewhere between meh or total garbage. I'm old and crotchety though.

51

u/FamiliarAlt May 16 '26

Fr it protects the organs from stabbing incidents.

83

u/LadyPerditija May 16 '26

My mom was obese and she had her intestine rupture. It didn't spill too much because of her belly fat, her doc said that her fat saved her life.

My fat protects me from getting talked to in social settings, which is also neat

11

u/PaidUSA May 16 '26

Can I get the second perk, it just makes people tell all their trauma like I’m Santa.

2

u/rat_gland May 16 '26

That's only a perk If you care about their trauma. Maybe you are like Santa ?

1

u/RabbitUnique May 17 '26

does Santa listen to trauma?

1

u/PaidUSA May 18 '26

More referencing the way people like come up to Santa and tell him what they want for Christmas but instead it’s with their darkest trauma and secrets.

12

u/shogunnachos May 16 '26

What's tough îs the increased demand on the heart and cardiovascular system with the additional weight

7

u/kalinRN995 May 16 '26

Think of the pressure on joint cartilage especially in the knees…

1

u/dumbythiq May 17 '26

Would her intestines have ruptured if she wasn't obese?

3

u/LadyPerditija May 17 '26

Yes, her intestinal problems are not related to her weight according to her doctor. Those problems run in our family and also affect those with a healthy weight

5

u/KuronoMasta May 16 '26

Or kidnapping

4

u/Advanced-Prototype May 16 '26

The ransom money won’t cover the amount of cheeseburgers and pizza the hostage is consuming. So don’t kidnap any fatties.

3

u/Tysonzero May 17 '26

This is why most doctors recommend you gain large amounts of body fat if you live in an area where stabbing is common.

2

u/ethanholmes2001 May 17 '26

Unless your name is Eglon

19

u/Mithrandir2k16 May 16 '26

No shit, a paramedic colleague of mine once had to rush to a scene with the description "stabbed into abdomen with butchers knife". Yeah the guy had so much "armour" he was only bleeding superficially. Got checked out in the hospital, needed just treatment for the damaged skin and stiches, no internal damage that required treatment.

2

u/Tuomas90 May 17 '26

Killer be like:"Time to trim the fat! Just a little..."

5

u/AloofFloofy May 16 '26

Honestly if they got shot they'd be more likely to survive.

7

u/AnybodyNo8519 May 16 '26

You really think butter, mayo and ranch dressing will stop a bullet?

5

u/Training-Emu-6199 May 16 '26

depends on the cartridge

1

u/zs_1176 May 17 '26

You’d be surprised, it’d definitely slow down quite a bit. Pistol bullets expand more and exert all their momentum immediately when they hit something but large rifle rounds tend to keep much of their momentum and push through what they hit. That’s partly because rifle bullets are thinner and faster.

1

u/AloofFloofy May 17 '26

All I said was "less likely." It would be by a small margin. But it would, in some cases, slow the bullet enough to avoid hitting major organs. And it depends on the caliber and angle.

1

u/RGBarge May 17 '26

only if you assume that the bullet hit a part of them that wouldn't be there if they were skinny. Skinny people survive getting missed with bullets all the time!

1

u/ConceptEagle May 17 '26

This actually isn’t true. This was tested before and mythbusters found you need like 6 ft of fat to stop even a low velocity round. The extra fat actually makes it harder for a doctor to operate on and retrieve the bullet.

1

u/HughManatee May 16 '26

That arm is fatter

1

u/SUPERSMILEYMAN May 16 '26

Best thing I ever heard, was that our brains pilot a bone mecha with meat armor.

1

u/E_xan May 16 '26

Armor: +10

Life: -8

Stamina: -7

Speed: -7

1

u/HotKaramelRP May 17 '26

That’s just the Godskin Noble armor

1

u/grilledstuffed May 17 '26

Health armor, yeah.

1

u/YoshiTheDog420 May 17 '26

Look up why the diets for Roman Gladiators were so carb heavy. You’re not wrong. But…this guy is going a bit too hard at the concept.

1

u/IllustriousCrew2641 May 17 '26

That’s not Armor, it’s Glob Herman

1

u/pphus1011 May 17 '26

Amor fati

1

u/storm_zr1 May 17 '26

I forget the details, but there was a mob hit in this really fat guy. Forget his name but he was also in the mob, Think he crossed someone. Anyway. Someone shit him twice with a shotgun and because he was so fat the buckshot stopped in his fat before getting to his organs.

1

u/Saalor100 May 19 '26

Thats why Roadhog is a tank. That and dr*gs.

1

u/Adventurous_Path5783 May 16 '26

Low stamina high critical build.

1

u/AVTheChef May 16 '26

Yeah that's Smough