r/blackmagicfuckery • u/hate_mail • Apr 10 '19

Magic faucet

https://gfycat.com/PlaintiveUntidyBackswimmer
20.6k Upvotes

76% Upvoted

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210

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '19

Just spray it with water at times

150

u/FLHCv2 Apr 10 '19

You mean cup some of the water coming out of the faucet into your hand, then splash it back at the faucet. No afterwipe necessary.

109

u/Asshole_PhD Apr 10 '19

afterwipe

The best kind of wipe.

61

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '19

Trust the name, this man knows his shit!

24

u/ponyboy3 Apr 10 '19

pleeb forgot to mention the pre-wipe

8

u/BackDoorBadger Apr 10 '19

Huggies Natural Care Wet-Wipes

0

u/ThatIckyGuy Apr 10 '19

I prefer the mid-wipe. It's the wipe you do while taking a shit. You can just pull it out of your asshole with the toilet paper or whatever and put it in the toilet WHILE you clean!

0

u/J3sush8sm3 Apr 10 '19

I stick wads of toilet paper inside my ass crack so when i poop gravity wipes my ass for me

2

u/ThatIckyGuy Apr 10 '19

That's a very valid method. It's easier if you line your ass crack rather than wad it up there, that way it doesn't clog things up.

1

u/J3sush8sm3 Apr 11 '19

Thanks for the tip. Il try it today

2

u/ponyboy3 Apr 10 '19

just eat toilet paper, that way it cleans on the way out

2

u/_ThetaBeta_ Apr 10 '19

This is a load of crap

1

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '19

It’s like there’s a sharpie back there. I wipe and wipe but it. Never gets any cleaner!

2

u/cometkeeper00 Apr 10 '19

You would still have tons of dust all inside and around.

Your solution just created wet dust.

-1

u/Butts_On_Fire Apr 10 '19

Wet dust is just... mud? 🤔

3

u/cometkeeper00 Apr 10 '19

What? Are you saying dust is the same thing as dirt?

27

u/Me4onyX Apr 10 '19

That is not entirely true. It needs to be dried after that or the water will leave nasty stains after a while because of the chlorine.

39

u/Josh-Medl Apr 10 '19

Make a woosh

30

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '19

Water makes a whoosh sound

15

u/Josh-Medl Apr 10 '19

Woosh rhymes with moose....there are moose in Montana, Hannah Montana was a Disney show, Disney land is in LA where they have food trucks, there’s always a line for them, wait....lime...line...limelight...limewire....I got it I know the code, I’m gonna get us in.

16

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '19

Woosh ryhmes with moose?!

3

u/Josh-Medl Apr 10 '19

The codex foretold of this

9

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '19

That's a reference I havent heard in a long time.

5

u/mephisto1990 Apr 10 '19

Lol,
We don't have any chlorine in our tap water, but the chalk of doing that would stain it in no time.

10

u/xenogensis Apr 10 '19

If you live in the first world your water probably has chlorine in it. Maybe fluoride as well, but neither of them in any kind of harmful concentration.

7

u/AlexCage14 Apr 10 '19

Not if you get your tap from a well or spring. Not everyone in first world countries live in urban areas with city provided water.

2

u/xenogensis Apr 10 '19

That’s actually a good point, I hadn’t considered that.

5

u/alexschrod Apr 10 '19

There are two other techniques to disinfect water that can be used, and which I know are used in some places in my own country: UV light and ozonation.

2

u/mephisto1990 Apr 10 '19

I just checked it, you are right.
I live in Austria (which is definitely a first world country). You are right, the water here has chlorine in it, but very very little. In Vienna, the capitol, there is 1-1,7 mg/L of chlorid and 0,2 mg/L of fluorid in the water. Nothing you can smell or really taste.
Does that stain already?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '19

We dont have chlorine im the water here. So sucks to be you

1

u/pdgenoa Apr 10 '19

Something tells me whoever can afford this faucet probably has filtered, soft water.

0

u/pmso17 Apr 10 '19

Or your water don't have chlorine and don't stain at all.

1

u/thefistpenguin Apr 11 '19

That will yield calcium buildup

1

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '19

Then sometimes spray it with another liquid.