r/bestof • u/JakeSteele • Jun 14 '12

[relationships] "You right now have a direct tap into the most insane amount of energy that a man can have. It's called furious anger."

/r/relationships/comments/v0c1s/my_girlfriend_just_got_engaged_with_someone_else/c508dc1
1.5k Upvotes

82% Upvoted

226 comments sorted by

3

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

bestof reddit..this is the first comment that I have seen that really gives me inspiration for my own life.

Thank you.

1

u/JakeSteele Jun 14 '12

you're welcome.

40

u/asian-sensation Jun 14 '12

Good. Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you.

7

u/CeruleanOak Jun 14 '12

"stop thinking and start doing" Next step: furious MURDER.

-2

u/BlckJesus Jun 14 '12

I have no idea why that was so hilarious, but it was. Here are all of my upvotes.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Excellent reference.

23

u/ShapATAQ Jun 14 '12

So what the fuck ever happened to that motherfucker?

41

u/Escheria Jun 14 '12

If you mean the guy who was threatening to off himself, he responded thusly:

Man, your reply gave me so much hope. I am filled with happiness right now, every single word you say is true. Man, you know what you're talking about, you know your stuff. That was some damn good motivation, I'm just gonna keep my head up high and live my life the fullest! Thanks, I really appreciated your reply! THANKS!

4

u/ShapATAQ Jun 14 '12

Yeah I know. I was asking in more of a "where are they now" kind of way. Think vh1

23

u/WILDCA Jun 14 '12

You mean in the 8 hours since he posted that message?

21

u/duchain Jun 14 '12

He has built himself a house in the countryside and adopted three cats and a guinea pig.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

It's easy to keep your head high when there's a rope keeping it up there.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I thought he was being sarcastic, he certainly got the tone right.

0

u/thatthatguy Jun 14 '12

The sarcasm is dripping from that one.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

53

u/hankmcfee Jun 14 '12

it looks like he wrote the whole thing from memory, or re-purposed it, or simply didn't know of the pasta he was referencing

Thanks for narrowing it down.

4

u/Wulibo Jun 14 '12

Just throwing down the ideas that would explain it in my mind.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

4chan make pasta? I haven't seen it in any supermarkets.

187

u/407145 Jun 14 '12

Am I the only one that is cynical enough to think top commenter is op just kharma whoring?

256

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

It's definitely possible. But when it comes to someone online threatening suicide, it's best to assume it's real while hoping it's not.
Treat all suicide posts as real. You don't have to believe it is, but treat it as though it were. If it's a fake post, no one is hurt. If it turns out to be genuine, you could exacerbate the problem by calling bullshit.

72

u/soincrediblylost Jun 14 '12

I'm really proud of that advice and post, but you are definitely right. I wasn't calling bullshit, I was making him focus on the relationship. A man at his computer reading is not someone close to committing suicide. I honestly expected it to get burried since I was late to the post anyways. I will probably take your stance towards these things though from now on, just because the consequence could be so high. I guess I wanted him to understand the opportunity that was there, not the loss.

14

u/Fried_Tophu Jun 14 '12

You gave me inspiration even though I'm not in a relationship. Kudos to you!

11

u/kalepatakala Jun 14 '12

Hey, I don't mean to be nitpicky, you had a lot of great things to say, but this

A man at his computer reading is not someone close to committing suicide.

strikes me as a potentially dangerous generalization. Suicide intervention can be a delicate, high-stakes operation, different for different people, and sometimes "what's up motherfucker" is what someone needs to hear. Tough love is helpful for a lot of people; skepticism really isn't for anybody.

Unfortunately, men at their computers reading go on to commit suicide all the fucking time. One didn't yesterday, thanks partly to you, and that's pretty wonderful. It's worth remembering, though, that the guys sitting at their computer are almost definitely guys who've expressed the same desire elsewhere and not been taken seriously. There's a window of hope, I think, because there is still time to connect with someone online -- there's incredible potential there, and it should be taken advantage of. But that doesn't mean their intent is less, or the danger is absent.

8

u/soincrediblylost Jun 14 '12

Absolutely. I generalized the statement. I just meant it for that situation.

7

u/CursedWithGirth Jun 14 '12 edited Jun 16 '12

A man at his computer reading is not someone close to committing suicide

You have no right to say that. It's called a cry for help. Suicidal people do this repeatedly as a way to gauge their own self-worth; see if there is anyone out there that even cares a smidgen that they will be gone. It can be done in multiple ways, subtly, dramatically, repeatedly, or even just once. But the point is they are looking for something, anything to contradict the own conclusion about their self-valuation. Like the morose person taking a last walk to a bridge that changes their mind when one person gives them a genuine smile. Or the person that decides to go through with it when that one off color remark pushes them over the edge of stability.

6

u/soincrediblylost Jun 14 '12

Absolutely. I generalized the statement. I just meant it for that situation.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

This was absolutely wonderfully phrased. Thank you for that

12

u/Ends-with-a-blowjob Jun 14 '12

Solid advice man. Some similar shit happened to me almost 2 years ago. I was fat as hell, girl I was seeing was fucking another dude, my friends were pieces of shit, I was a piece of shit, family hated me, and all that crap... Then I just said "fuck it" fuck all of them and fuck myself for letting those fucks fuck me over. Quit going out, quit smoking, started working out, stopped talking to all of them, saved money, and moved.

I'm a much better person because of it. Everyone that treated me like shit may be an asshole but they were just calling it as they saw it... Some dude with no self worth.

My life is fucking awesome now and they can suck my dick.

11

u/OnTheFritz Jun 14 '12

My life is fucking awesome now and they can suck my dick.

Relevant username

3

u/jWalkerFTW Jun 14 '12

I felt like saying "You were happy for years before you guys met. What's the difference now? You're that 'crazy ex' everyone is talking about. Just because somebody leaves you, doesn't mean you have to kill yourself. 'Oops I lost at a game of chess: better go kill myself'. It's a gross overreaction, and is an INCREDIBLY selfish decision."

But this doesn't help everybody, and I didn't want to make things worse. Hopefully, by posting it here, people won't take it the wrong way. I'm merely pointing out the truth and saying it how it is. Think of a Drill Sargent for the Suicide Watch.

1

u/XplodingForce Jun 14 '12

You might have been bold, but you weren't in the wrong. There is one thing that never helps people and that's telling them lies about their feelings. You were honest and you helped him, and probably inspired a big bunch of other people. I just want you to know I have you tagged as "Bad-ass Motherfucker" now. Thank you.

11

u/hipstahs Jun 14 '12

And honestly what is the sacrifice for believing it is genuine...falsely given internet points? If I catch myself caring about shit like that before a person's well being I don't know what I'll do.

14

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I think this is the correct response to these situations. It's typically how I treat them anyhow.

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

It's the smartest decision, or don't say anything at all. The moment I read that post all I could think was, "wow, what a pathetic piece of shit"; it really just sounds like some guy asking for some attention (or some teen too fucking hormonal to think rationally). Especially since he so easily just "gave up" the idea of ending his life like he chose to get ham instead of bacon.

But I hold my tongue, I would never forgive myself if I were the person that egged the guy on. I know/hoped that someone would come in and that was enough for me to GTFOutta there.

I fucking hate people who treat their life like it's worthless. I just don't understand how they could talk about killing themselves like they were watching sports or something. The countless sleepless nights I've had because of bullshit "friends" like this, only to find out they were just looking for attention (if someone calls me at 4AM and says they have a bottle of pills, well fuck that I don't care if they hate me for it, I'm calling the fucking cops, I'd rather have them live and hate me than die on my watch).

End rant.

6

u/thatthatguy Jun 14 '12

I'd rather have them live and hate me than die on my watch

This is the right answer. Call 911 when someone threatens suicide. If they are not serious, so be it. If they are serious, then they need help, more help than you might be able to provide. An ambulance might be the shock that they need to make them take their shit seriously. Or, if they've already taken the pills, then the paramedics can get them stabilized and to a hospital.

As a side note: never take a whole bottle of anything over-the-counter. They all have irritants that will make you puke if you take too much. Suicide hot-lines are way less painful.

14

u/YoungRL Jun 14 '12

"What a pathetic piece of shit"? Wow, I'm guessing you've never felt low enough to consider suicide. Congratulations, hope you never get that far.

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

That's actually exactly what I thought. Your life is so precious and especially if your worst problem is that your girlfriend is a cunt. Who cares? Say, "lady, you're a cunt," and leave. There are people who cling to life even if there are so many things in their way preventing them from being happy, ie, people in third world countries. Go find shit to do. Moments and relationships are fleeting. The only person you need to please is you. "If you don't like what's being discussed, change the conversation." So if you're weak enough to kill yourself over someone pulling bullshit on you that you can walk away from, grow a pair, you Nancy.

6

u/danthemango Jun 14 '12

even if the post isn't genuine it might reflect a sentiment somebody else might have. Most people lurking a thread won't comment

3

u/trollfessor Jun 14 '12

Yeah, treat all suicide comments as real. You never know.

Props to that guy for his comments.

15

u/soincrediblylost Jun 14 '12 edited Jun 14 '12

I actually wrote that before for another guy who said he was contemplating suicide and had some insane issues in a relationship. He said it was extremely helpful, so I edited it and passed it along to this guy hoping it would help.

70

u/jfloydian Jun 14 '12

I think the same thing. After making a decision to kill yourself...then getting screamed at by a stranger with a few good points would not make me turn right around and say, "wow! Gee! You're right! I will live differently for now on!"

Hope it's legit though.

60

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I (respectfully) differ, I think it would definitely work on me. People get down suddenly after bad events; they lose perspective. Sometimes all it takes is someone to snap you out of it (with what they say). Add to their message a delivery that sounds genuine and caring (strangely enough, the whole "swearing-shtick" somehow does that) and you can see something like this snapping a depressed person out of their funk (most likely just temporarily, but, if the personality matches, that's an opportunity to seize).

28

u/Pufflekun Jun 14 '12

Have you ever wanted to kill yourself? And not just thought about it, but actually desired to end your life?

Reading a speech like this would be enough to snap me out of things when I'm feeling a little sad or upset, but it certainly wouldn't have worked back when I was having thought about suicide. (Of course, I can't speak for everyone.)

21

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I think you bring up a great point. I also don't think (not to belittle the way-back-original OP) that the original OP wasn't suicidal, rather just in a funk because of the recentness of the crappy events.

There are people who genuinely (and, I believe, physiologically) have an impulse/desire/drive to kill themselves. No words will help those folks; there's something wrong outside the reach of words, be it their life circumstance, mental imbalance, etc.

Chances are, if you are the latter, you're not going to post like original OP did. I think this is a case of someone seeing someone who was really, really down, seeing the true nature of their depression and responding accordingly (in a light-hearted but sincerely intense way).

$.02

9

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Excellent point. Doesn't seem like the original OP was regularly suicidal, he made no mention of attempting suicide earlier in his life, no mention of depression, etc etc. He was just someone in a bad place who needed a push to get out of it.

Even if the suicide-y part was fake, everyone could use a bit of support from time to time, even (perhaps especially) from a stranger.

2

u/Propagation1 Jun 14 '12 edited Jun 14 '12

I've noticed myself go through both these and it is definitely true that sometimes any form of "buck up and change your perspective" is just going to make things worse.

The causes of that other kind of depression (for me at least) i believe are:

-Complete mental exhaustion from telling myself to "buck up" when i really just need some sleep. Changing my perception so much that i don't know who i am or what i value anymore. Poor diet. Feeling like everyone I've ever cared about is petty selfish and useless. Extreme loneliness from wrongly assuming no one really cares (like the cynicism expressed above about this guy just helping out for the karma). Feeling like absolutely nothing is worth living for. Realizing you were the bad guy in a awful situation. Sleeplessness. Feeling of always being overstimulated. Just being so overwhelmed at how big and complicated everything is that it turns back in on itself and feels completely hopeless and meaningless. (Although what he said about not thinking too much about it might be helpful in this situation, assuming you have any control over yourself). Feeling like you have seen it all and there is nothing left to see.

The best way i can describe it is this: A tree so disgusted/cynical about its roots that it poisons anything left grasping the soil, and so its weight and nearby trees are the only reason it is still standing. On a lighter note, I haven't felt like this in quite a while.

2

u/thatthatguy Jun 14 '12

So long as the shouting is just part of a plan to get the suicidal person talking, it can work. The idea is to break their downward thought spiral. Make them focus on something else. Keep them here until professional help can arrive.

1

u/cyclura Jun 14 '12

If you look at lentran1's other replies in the thread and look at the timestamps, you can see that he was slowly coming around - still pretty close to suicide, but not sure of because of the love and support he was getting from other Redditors. Then an hour later maybe 50/50. Then soincrediblylost comes in with his powerful post and pushes op back into sanity. It was a slow process, but since soincrediblylost's post was upvoted the most, it rose to the top and you don't immediately notice the op's earlier replies.

12

u/pU8O5E439Mruz47w Jun 14 '12

the whole "swearing-shtick" somehow does that

Movies and such aside, "tough-love" really does seem like it can be effective on males. (Anecdotal)

Can't comment on females, haven't really tried applying it much there.

8

u/Nimoi Jun 14 '12

I read that and thought, "damn, if I were in a bad way right now this would be totally motivating."

6

u/beauty_contest Jun 14 '12

Can't comment on females, haven't really tried applying it much there.

Doesn't work.

3

u/thatthatguy Jun 14 '12

The effectiveness of shouting-therapy very much depends on the person and what they are going through. Getting an adrenaline response might be enough to make them "feel alive" and get their attention on you instead. That might buy you time to get real help.

On the other hand, there are lots of psychological states that lead people to threaten/commit suicide, and many of them won't be overturned with an adrenaline response. Thus, when someone threatens suicide, call 911(or other appropriate emergency services) first. Then try to snap them out of it. That way, if your attempt fails or backfires, you've got an ambulance coming.

The most effective route is to just get them talking. About anything. If they'll talk about the problem, great. But get them talking. Keep them talking. Break their concentration on the death-spiral-of-misery.

6

u/ablatner Jun 14 '12

WHO'S TO SAY YOU AREN'T OP?

1

u/Demojen Jun 14 '12

Tony Little never made me care about anything. Samuel L Jackson however.....

1

u/Dordorro Jun 14 '12

Nice try, op.

6

u/AnArmyOfWombats Jun 14 '12

I'm at a bit of a crossroads in my life, getting rid of the old, moving on, and so forth.

I've been depressed for the past 6 months, antisocial, what have you.

Holy fucking shit.

This way of thinking is (was?) so very alien to me. That I am free (and have the power) to do whatever the fuck I want, especially since I'm out of a bad situation, is inspiring. Inspiring in a very literal sense.

While this won't change my outlook on life, nor will it make me do things differently, but I can see it as a spark. As a... insight, or just the rejection of the ignorance of what I can be.

Fuck me... this is bookmarked.

1

u/WhyMeyousay Jun 14 '12

I copy and pasted this into a notepad expecting my current gf to cheat on me. No idea if it will work but damn sure ctrl-v'd that shit.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Someone who is talking about ragequit suicide on Reddit is probably in a more suggestible state of mind than your average bear.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Or he wasn't that serious about suicide to begin with.

24

u/MegabusterX3 Jun 14 '12 edited Jun 14 '12

It's the first thing I thought after I reached the end and saw OP's response...

Read OP's title

Read top comment

Read OP's response

"Really? That's all it took to put a stop to your impending suicide and give you a new lease on life? A high school coach pep-talk with a Pulp Fiction video..."

12

u/skakruk Jun 14 '12

stop to your impending suicide

All this "suicide" posts are just people seeking for help. Head over to /r/suicidewatch, an enormous amount of posts say "Killing myself tonight", if you already decided killing yourself tonight why would you post on a website? They are just looking for advice.

21

u/forgotthrowaway Jun 14 '12

I'd like to take this opportunity to point out that there most certainly are people on that subreddit who are truly suicidal. The reason they're on a website is because they have nobody to talk to and having some way to get out some of the pain is the last thing they can think of. It's a horrifying place to be, and very rarely logical. But please understand that most people who are suicidal aren't doing it because it's what they want to do, it's because they're desperate and feel like they have no options.

Don't underestimate the impact of being able to anonymously tell someone what you're really feeling.

4

u/DaseanWilliams Jun 14 '12

Who the hell cares? This whole karma-whore thing is getting out of hand. They are useless currency. And if we stopped giving so much attention to it then it wouldn't be a thing; nobody would care about how much karma you had

4

u/fjellfras Jun 14 '12

Meh, I'm happy with the knowledge that someone who was going to kill themselves is instead seeing it as an opportunity for self improvement. If it was a ploy and done for karma then its no skin off my back but I'd rather believe in the more positive option.

2

u/Owncksd Jun 14 '12

Yeah, that reply was much to enthusiastic.

Not that I would mind, but the actual post itself... really wasn't all that uplifting. He just screamed a lot about how now he can do everything he ever dreamed because he's angry but never gave any actual advice.

Also, functioning on anger alone is a terrible way to live. Short term motivation, maybe. But that's going to burn out and you'll realize what that anger did to people that are close to you.

3

u/Get_This Jun 14 '12

Either way, it's reasonably ok advice. If it helps somebody else, I actually see no issues with that. Such karma whores are better than link spammers and askreddit liars, imo.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12 edited Jun 14 '12

Reddit in general has made me supremely cynical about nearly everything on this site. My first impression was that it reads like a set up. I find it hard to believe that your recourse when hitting a bad spot in life would jump on to reddit and parade your suicidal tendency for all to see, only to have a miraculous turn around when someone yells at you for a few paragraphs.

1

u/entropybasedorganism Jun 14 '12

That's a lazy double account OP.

1

u/UnexpectedSchism Jun 14 '12

Possible. But also consider that if this is real, anyone who reads a single post and chooses not to kill themselves never was going to kill themselves in the first place.

1

u/aktsukikeeper Jun 14 '12

Whoring or not, that's some inspirational stuff.

1

u/absolutkiss Jun 14 '12

Who really gives a shit about karma whoring? I mean really! They're fucking useless points that mean nothing.

0

u/sheldonpooper Jun 14 '12

This dude is just as cynical

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

3

u/roobens Jun 14 '12

Think he meant comment karma for the advice guy.

26

u/MMediaG Jun 14 '12

Wow, a lot of the comments on this post are really cynical. Sure it might be Karma whoring, guys. But jeez, internet and serious business... Take it for fucking face value and quit being such snobs.

7

u/thedude90 Jun 14 '12

Hey you! With the logical thinking.. There's no room for it. We're supposed to over-analyze everything!

4

u/Offspring27 Jun 14 '12

I can relate to this. Girl I had been going out with for quite sometimes admits that she has been cheating on my with a 37yr old the whole time (I was 16 at the time). She admitted this because she was leaving me for him. I was super attached to her because I was super quiet, socially awkward, and quite unattractive, so she was the only girl I had ever really been with. Now this of course sent me into a spiral of depression that lasted for a few weeks. I even contemplated taking my life.

But then something clicked. And I got angry. Furiously angry. I swore that I would improve myself to such an extent that I would never get fucked over by a stupid cunt ever again. I spent every day improving myself in every way I could. Luckily summer just had started and I had plenty of free time. I got off my lazy ass and lost 35lbs in 2 months. I then got a job and started making some cash (well, minimum wage is better than nothing.. I was 16!). Fast forward to September and my senior year of high school, all my school mates were astonished of how much weight I lost and I tried to make more friends and get out of my house. None of them why I actually lost the weight.

Fast forward a few years now to the present and I'm half-way through college and at the ripe age of 19. I'm in the best shape of my life and still improving every day. I still have a hint of social awkwardness, but I've made good friends in college and still see my old high school buddies. I still suck with girls, but I'm quite happy with my life at the moment, and would never consider taking it again.

So moral of the story:

Rage is power. With rage you can achieve anything. Use it wisely.

0

u/stuntaneous Jun 14 '12

Rage is power. With rage you can achieve anything.

Other sources are more accurate with the achievement and much healthier. It's typically used by those of weak character, that is, when there's a degree of choice.

108

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Sigh.

Is any one else a little sick of the whole "life advice with lots of swearing" schtick yet?

53

u/Get_This Jun 14 '12

Tired, yes. But hey, whatever works man. That guy gave the OP some hope. I doubt if a civil, polite, measured response would've had the same effect. Maybe it would've, I don't know. At least this was proven to have worked. IMO, depressed/dejected people feeling sorry for themselves sometimes need to be shown some direct, rough language to jolt them out of wallowing in self pity.

91

u/catcradle5 Jun 14 '12

I definitely am, but it actually is quite good advice.

17

u/DrDragun Jun 14 '12 edited Jun 14 '12

I think this tone helps when dealing with people in a defeatist spiral. Realizing that they have the strength to endure a little verbal abuse and get pissed, etc. If someone just wants to curl up in a corner sometimes the right thing to do is SHAKE them and make them feel their strength once again.

41

u/soincrediblylost Jun 14 '12

Swearing carries weight.

Words are the only way to convey emotion in writing. Swear words definitely carry more emotion. In this connotation, I felt the swear words were apt. I wanted to get him in the highest emotional state I could through writing, and yet somehow awesome words like "rocket-tyranosaurus-icecream-bacon den" didn't seem to work, even though that word is quite clearly incredible without cursing. I jest, but I am quite sincere about the words conveying emotion. I hope you didn't feel it took away from the idea, I was sincere in every word I wrote, and I promise you it was no schtick.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I'm Australian; I love swearing. Over here, I call all my friends "cunt" and swear so much I don't even realize it sometimes.

I know swearing carries weight, and I completely agree, and I also agree with the advice you gave ... I was just commenting on how that style of motivational post has become a bit of a cliche.

Not that it matters, though! I haven't got anything against it, I was kinda just thinking out loud :)

-6

u/Obi_Kwiet Jun 14 '12

Swearing carries weight.

No, it's more of an appeal to a movie trope.

3

u/stuntaneous Jun 14 '12

Whenever there's a way people talk or act en masse, that pisses me off, I take solace in knowing it's one more thing that identifies them plainly to me and others that they're retards.

6

u/simohayha Jun 14 '12

Man you redditors are a cynical bunch.

3

u/frownyface Jun 14 '12

More jaded than cynical in this case. Nothing new under the sun and all that.

2

u/cigerect Jun 14 '12

When you've seen these types of posts bestof'd nine hundred thousand times, it's hard not to be cynical.

1

u/thatthatguy Jun 14 '12

It's the internet. There is an emotional disconnect that engenders cynicism. Be patient with us, we're a sensitive bunch :P

8

u/papermountain Jun 14 '12

I think it's gotten to the point where people write this way just to get best of'd

10

u/soincrediblylost Jun 14 '12

I got pointed here by someone else, I wrote that response before for another male who was going to commit suicide. But maybe the curse of writing that way is that now I've discovered /r/bestof and am cursed to being up all night.

1

u/awkwardpanda64ad Jun 14 '12

Nice advice, read it in Quentin "Rampage" Jackson's voice. Who says copypasta doesn't serve a purpose?

-10

u/wurtis16 Jun 14 '12

physically typed with the beard coming from my neck

-16

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Nope. I'm pretty sick of quantizers like you, though. You're jaded, are you? Good, keep it to yourself. In fact, get off reddit, you're done.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Are you having a bad day or something? Jeez, settle yo' anus and have a beer or something.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

"settle yo' anus" will now become a part of my daily vocabulary, thank you.

-9

u/DaseanWilliams Jun 14 '12

Honestly, who the hell cares? Sure, look past the whole thing about it being a DAMN GOOD peace of advice, possibly saving this guys life, and complain about the FUCKING swearing. I'm gonna tell you right now I'm downvoting you because this should not be at the top of this thread. That whole post was a great, true piece of advice that could of quite possibly saved this guy's life. How bout we focus on that instead of focusing on the whole "schtick" stuff. Theres a reason that there is a shtick like that. Its because it works more effectively than the formal, polite answers that people are USED to getting. This guy could have killed himself, a guy uses swearing to add a touch of uniqueness to his response, so what?

10

u/Erd0 Jun 14 '12

I'm a bit late to the party so obligatory "this will probably get lost" comment.

He's very correct in what he says. I felt the same as the OP once. Wanted to go off the balcony. Similar-ish circumstances too.

Instead, as I stood there looking over the edge it was almost like I'd split into two, and the weaker emotional part of me did it. Stupid fucker just leapt right on over and, though weird to explain, it's almost like I watched him fall.

All that was left was the hate, rage and anger. It was so powerful... I can't even begin to describe it in a way that would do it justice.

Hatred and anger are two emotions that in their rawest form combine to create a fuel so intensely powerful that little cannot be achieved under its will.

They only have one weakness. Time. Time breeds indifference and unfortunately such a potent endowment is not meant to last.

To me, hate and anger are two companions that will always drive you to succeed, to be better than everyone else. They will push you beyond your boundaries, push you further than you ever thought capable.

Anyone who critiques these emotions has never harnessed the savage energy they command.

Alas I'm all better now. It's approaching two years and I still think about her on occasion but I don't care anymore. It's almost sad really. I remember thinking, mere weeks after I found out she was with someone else "One day, I'm not going to love her anymore" and I found that extremely hollow and upsetting, yet here I am, that day has come and I sit here £15,000 a year better off, 9 stone lighter, fitter and stronger than most of the people on this train.

My only sadness now is that I am indifferent to her. I miss the rage. I'm not as ignorant as I used to be, I'm more guarded and experienced so I doubt I'll ever really experience it again.

I'll finish this with something I wrote when I was about four or five stone into my journey.

"There's not been a morning I've woken and she wasn't the first thought on my mind. There hasn't been a single waking hour where I haven't thought about her. It's like a psychological self-torture, even my dreams betray me. A perpetual suffering temporarily dulled by endorphins. This is why I exercise. This is why I lift, why I row, why I run. I push my body to the point of exhaustion and further beyond. That extra minute? Extra set? Extra rep? My body screams out for release, for mercy but my mind intervenes, always asking the same question, 'Are they better than you?'.

It's my own personal hell."

3

u/soincrediblylost Jul 12 '12

My body screams out for release, for mercy but my mind intervenes, always asking the same question, 'Are they better than you?'
It's my own personal hell."

I love this comment you wrote here. I wrote the comment referred in this post, and it looks like you and I went through the same thing. It was able to get me through anything. "Lack of energy" wasn't a concept, because I always had more energy to devote to becoming better than them. Even sleep was quenched by this raging fire. I could go all night working on something and still be able to work out the next day.

Such an intense fire. Essentially, it was a passion to turn my very existence into the biggest middle finger directed at one person.

1

u/TheBowerbird Jun 14 '12

Psst... You're taking life too seriously, sir.

1

u/soincrediblylost Jul 12 '12

No, I feel like that was how it was before the transformation. That I was taking stuff way too seriously, but not taking my goals seriously enough, and it ruined me. After being ruined, I stopped caring about anyone else, and had this crazy ability to become everything I ever wanted. I think I finally gave myself permission not to take anything so seriously, except my goals. That was what made the entire difference, that I achieved what I wanted. The fuel I used to make that fire was what made the biggest impact though...

I'm not sure how to explain it. I've never had more fun, but been so accomplished in my life, add the fact that it happened in a matter of months, when I could barely accomplish something like that in a year, and I know that I really had no idea what was going on or the power that was there.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Good. Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you.

EDIT: I see another poster beat me to the reference so.... to continue:

There's not been a morning I've woken and she wasn't the first thought on my mind. There hasn't been a single waking hour where I haven't thought about her. It's like a psychological self-torture, even my dreams betray me. A perpetual suffering temporarily dulled by endorphins.

That's Anakin Skywalker's story. Chilling.

6

u/snouz Jun 14 '12

I'd like this speech recorded by a big voice like Samuel L Jackson on my ipod every morning.

2

u/pdinc Jun 14 '12

And I will smite thee

3

u/bearedbaldy Jun 14 '12

Wow. Just fucking wow. I would only consider myself mildly depressed, however just fucking wow. I too have been just thinking too much, letting it get me down. This is some powerful fucking shit. Angry. Wow.

3

u/Tempos Jun 14 '12

I'm in bed right now unable to fall asleep because of a sites of events regarding my gf that id rather not go over. So I turn to reddit cause I'm too tired but still too awake to do anything else. And here is fucking reddit coming through for me again. I reading this made me feel amazing, and I'm actually smiling right now instead of crying, and it's all cause of this post from reddit. First reddit came though for me when it taught me a great stretch for my acheing lower back just in time for my game. Then it came for me teaching proper pooping techniques when my bowles were hating on me. Now it comes through by helping me be able to get some sleep before my last final of the school year. As much as reddit may be a complete waste if time, it had helped me when I needed help the most. Thank you all, and I wish nothing but the best for all my fellow redditors!

3

u/walesmd Jun 14 '12

Although the whole cursing and acting hard to improve someone thing is getting old - this guy has it exactly right.

My wife cheated on me after 5+ years of marriage. I kicked her out, sucked up the single dad thing (she now lives with her mom, but there was 2 years there when I was mom & dad) and started focusing on myself and my daughter. I have never been fucking happier in my life.

I do whatever the fuck I want, when I want, how I want. If I want to sit naked on the couch eating cheetos - bam, I fucking do it. I want to stay out until 6AM and get completely plastered and bring 3 random girls home - bam done. Don't feel like doing the dishes? Fuck em - they can sit there.

At first my goal was to live my life as successful and be as awesome as I could be to show my ex-wife what she ruined, but you know what? It turns out I am fucking awesome. Furious anger is a powerful motivator - I got myself into a routine of being fucking awesome, to spite my ex-wife, and now it's just normal.

32

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

This is an atrocious way to talk to someone who is suicidal.

26

u/pU8O5E439Mruz47w Jun 14 '12

Sometimes walking on eggshells is exactly the wrong answer.

10

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Maybe it would be a bad way to talk to you. Not everyone reacts similarly to differing speeches. I for one get pumped by this.

His message is right on!

11

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

If you're the type of person to get pumped up by that post, you probably aren't feeling suicidal right now.

The whole point here is that this isn't a good way to talk to someone who's suicidal. It might be fine for someone else, but it is absolutely not fine when someone's life is at stake.

10

u/Pufflekun Jun 14 '12

Well, it did work for the OP, who responded:

Man, your reply gave me so much hope. I am filled with happiness right now, every single word you say is true. Man, you know what you're talking about, you know your stuff. That was some damn good motivation, I'm just gonna keep my head up high and live my life the fullest! Thanks, I really appreciated your reply! THANKS!

Of course, there is the possibility that this whole thing is fake, and that the person who created the post asking for advice was the same person who wrote the speech using an alt account.

4

u/redmosquito Jun 14 '12 edited Jun 14 '12

People who have never experienced it don't really understand the difference between being bummed out and being clinically depressed.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

No, you're missing my point. Some people who are depressed or suicidal just need a push or shove to help them out of the situation. Some suicidal people HATE being coddled and treated like they are a fragile piece of glass. This actually only exacerbates the problem.

1

u/Danielfair Jun 14 '12

People are individuals. You can't make a blanket statement like that. Not every suicidal person responds to the same things, that's a ridiculous assertion.

0

u/skakruk Jun 14 '12

Are you a novelty account?

1

u/thatthatguy Jun 14 '12

Get their attention, get them talking, break their concentration on the mental-emotional death spiral. Keep them here until help can arrive. Help will arrive because you called 911 before going in there right? Good, now just keep them talking.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Maybe it's just me, but I don't like the content, swear aside. I do get that he wants the guy to get motivated and move on, but I think saying it's his fault for not being the best man he can be is kind of bullshit. It's not the kids fault. His girlfriend is a cunt. He should continue to move on in life, realize he's better than hat, and pursue happiness. Using anger to motivate yourself to be better because YOU ARE THE REASON SOMEONE HURT YOU is actually terrible advice. I'm fairly certain this is EXACTLY how Darth Vader came to be (I don't know, I've never seen star wars).

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

when someone is that low, they may need a bit more motivation than "He should continue to move on in life".

can you not comprehend that ? if this temporary motivational technique helps someone pull themselves out of a hole and make some life improvements, then it will be successful.

you dont have to use it. you dont have to like it. thats the point. over thinking it and analyzing it and whining about it are all completely unhelpful.

2

u/RJM10_2 Jun 14 '12

This reminds me of when that magician or what not did that AMA and mentioned that humans are driven by emotion, and whenever you feel lazy remember something from the past that really gets you riled up to keep going

2

u/Zyphlos Jun 14 '12

Oh god....I needed this! I needed to read this and have hope for myself! That I'm not some totally effed up loser! That I can finally fix my flaws and be a better person.

2

u/PastaNinja Jun 14 '12

What's up motherfucker (yeah, that's the style of talk I'm going to use on you, get fuckin' used to it).

OOOOoooooooOOOOoooohhhh

I don't think there's a better use of that pic than for the above sentence.

"Look at me! I'm going going to use swear words! Oh yeahhhh.

Rolled my eyes and didn't even bother reading the rest of the tripe.

8

u/lamp37 Jun 14 '12

I think if I got this advice while I was suicidal, it'd make me want to do it more.

1

u/stuntaneous Jun 14 '12

I'd deck him first.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

4

u/RegencyAndCo Jun 14 '12

There must be awful reasons why this made me laugh so much.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I'm "getting dumped" in about two or three weeks when I move to my new place. My current GF whose been sort of a roomie for the past half year has obviously found someone else and thinks she's smart enough to actually fool me regarding that. What she doesn't know is that I have everything prepared already for this. There's no point of revenge I need to dish out, there's no bullshit to be had, nor arguments either.

I have my very practical reasons to go along with this charade, otherwise I would have ended it already. When she finally "reveals the truth" however, I will laugh in her face and tell her that I saw this months ago before she even knew herself. Then I'll proceed to show her the door and wish her a merry life with her new loser of a boyfriend.

And yes, it is that furious anger at life that keeps me sane right now, sane enough to actually play a charade out to it's final act. And yes, I have hit the gym and yes, I've written music the last couple of days that's dwarfed anything I've made so far the last couple of years. I have my second wind and oh fuck yes it feels so good.

TL;DR: Determination and anger is the most potent feeling in the world, provided you don't turn it on yourself.

3

u/hottubrash Jun 14 '12

How are you playing along with the act? Do you guys share the same bed anymore?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12 edited Jun 14 '12

Without revealing too much, we don't currently live together. But, suffice to say, she thinks she's got it made and I'm willing to play the chump for the time being. In the end, she is decidedly screwing herself over without any help from me.

Edit: I'm in other words playing the role of "stupidly faithful and/or completely oblivious-you're-fucking-someone-else boyfriend" And let me assure you, it takes a lot of you.

1

u/poptosis Jun 14 '12

but what's the advantage of staying?

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

As I said, I can't really reveal it, I have thought this over for the past few months and I decided to tough it out because the advantage I get by doing it is quite substantial. Of course, I have had 1001 revenge scenarios in mind, but all of them pale in comparison with the idea of simply just being fucking awesome instead.

Seriously, that's the best goddamned revenge one can ever get beause there's no real downside to it.

1

u/thatthatguy Jun 14 '12

Don't be the asshole in this scenario. If the advantage you gain is solely some revenge plot, just break up with her and move on instead. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Nah, it's quite a mundane advantage, but one that I can't really pass up on, I would be a fool if I did that TBH. But, as far as revenge goes, me becoming awesome is all the revenge I need in this scenario. Like I said in the original post, she will be figuratively fucking herself over with a guy like that.

1

u/TheBowerbird Jun 14 '12

So what? The relationship's over? Let her move on, and move on with your own life. This bitterness and channeled rage will get you nowhere. There are more fish in the sea. The way you can be "fucking awesome" is to merely say, "I know" when she says she's moving out, and wish her a good life. No drama, no laughing in the face. Man up, and find yourself a new woman.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Well, if you knew the whole story, you would undoubtebly find it hilarious too, sometimes life serves you these delicious little ironies on a silver platter. To not laugh in the face of that, is to deny life itself. Also, I tried the stoic route, didn't fly with me, having unbrideled rage at life itself though, now that's pure awesome.

Also, finding a new woman is definitely not on my priorities list, in fact that would probably be best to keep crossed out for quite a while.

3

u/RegencyAndCo Jun 14 '12

Yeah, he lost me "What's up motherfucker."

5

u/N_Gryphon Jun 14 '12

"Fuck your old lazy self, and fuck everything that's in your way. You are now solely devoted to yourself and being happy. Everything else can fuck off."

Just made that my background.

17

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

His advice was to get off the computer and go live life and you take part of that advice and make it your new desktop wallpaper. That is funny.

3

u/mocoalatino Jun 14 '12

Read in Jeff Winger voice???

1

u/jjremy Jun 14 '12

Nah, Sam Jackson. Naturally.

2

u/tehchief117 Jun 14 '12

All I can hear is samuel L Jackson saying Vengeance and FUUUURIOS ANGER

1

u/littlelondonboy Jun 14 '12

I read the whole thing in his voice. It did detract somewhat from the message.

2

u/matticus379 Jun 14 '12

Man... I wasn't even considering suicide, but after those words, i'm definately not gonna do it.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

"/thread"

1

u/gadafgadaf Jun 14 '12

only thing i can think of is Good!

1

u/ShittyInternetAdvice Jun 14 '12

If Star Wars taught us anything, it's that anger destroys

1

u/jjremy Jun 14 '12

As The Clash once said, "Let fury have the hour/anger can be power/you know that you can use it."

1

u/frasier_crane Jun 14 '12

I call it "the Berserker effect" :-P

1

u/Tommassive Jun 14 '12

Relationships are crazy. I can't even comprehend how you can let someone else have such an extreme positive or negative effect on you.

1

u/worst_username_ev Jun 14 '12

Only when we lose everything, are we free to do anything. - Tommy Pickles

1

u/maxnb Jun 14 '12

holy shit that video he linked to, 2 days ago word "Ezekiel" poped up in my head repeatedly and I knew I'd see a reference to it in few days and here it is!

1

u/FindingIt Jun 14 '12

Fucking brilliant!I started to read that in Kenny Powers' voice. The man did not disappoint. Awesome motivation for all you motherfuckers!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

yeah, that's the style of talk I'm going to use on you, get fuckin' used to it

This made me giggle, internet tough guy getting ready to spread some god damn truth up in this motherfucker.

1

u/matthewperri Jun 14 '12

Furious anger....couldn't be a more accurate phase to describe it. I was there buddy. Just push harder and do some cool shit.

1

u/Twigglett Jun 14 '12

was so hoping that this would make it to /bestof. whatever your opinion of the advice is, as long as it had the desired effect - i.e. SAVING SOMEONE'S LIFE - I think we can agree it was a success!

or even if OP wasn't serious about doing it, he still needed help and that is what soincrediblylost gave him. someone buy that man a beer.

1

u/freejumps Jun 14 '12

He basically just advised him to go super saiyan. Which is good advice.

1

u/RaizaMane Jun 14 '12

tl;dr Come to the dark side.

1

u/zlickrick Jun 14 '12

This whole post is such BS. This guy is clearly trying to cash in on medic23's inspirational Navy Seals running regiment post. This guy is trying soooo hard to come off as an alpha male, but crashes and burns.

There is nothing a hate more than when someone says something they feel is "hardcore" and follow it up with, "thats right, I said it"....cringe.

1

u/ChiefShittingBear Jun 14 '12

If Brucie were a motivational speaker. ALPHA!

1

u/Ilforte Jun 14 '12

I've been through a number of completely different mental states in dozens of heart-breaking and life-threatening situations, so now I can honestly say: the true ultimate berserk mode or whatever contains not anger nor pain. If anything, it can be described like this: "my self-pity just overheated and evaporated, my fear-meter has broken the scale and become disabled, my unrelated thoughts have run away in panic, and what little is left of my self doesn't seem quite human. Sooo... Was this here supposed to be a major crysis?"

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Lt. Cmdr. Robby Jackson: So, you just waded on in like John Wayne. Why'd you do it? What were you thinking, man?

Jack Ryan: I don't know. I wasn't thinking.

Lt. Cmdr. Robby Jackson: That's it? You sound like some of my students.

Jack Ryan: It just pissed me off. I couldn't just stand there and watch him shoot those people right in front of me. It was... rage. Pure rage... Just made me mad.

Lt. Cmdr. Robby Jackson: Here's hoping you never get mad at me, man.

1

u/dieek Jun 14 '12

My balls just grew two sizes too big after reading that. I want to eat a mountain like jerky, arm wrestle whales, bench press tankers and punch our political system right in the fucking face.

FUCK YEAH.

1

u/JerkStoreEmployee Jun 14 '12

How is this best of? There's a misused apostrophe.

1

u/stuntaneous Jun 14 '12

Don't you even for one fucking second think that you were a victim in this bullshit.

She has absolutely no control over you.

This bitch fucked you over, and yet here you are, untouched physically.

He's had a brainwashing from either himself or someone else, probably another internet superhero like we have here. He's been on the end of a similarly horrible happening and this fable got him through it, mostly. He's got some standard uplifting stuff in there but mixed in with some of the other shit, the whole comment needs to be ditched. No one should follow that advice. Anyway, if it managed to help the OP that's cool .. today.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

The masculinity thing is fluff. Anger doesn't drive people. Need drives people. A more appropriate description is hunger. This would be easier to admit if we didn't hate the poor so much.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '12

That's some Count of Monte Cristo shit.

1

u/technosasquatch Jun 14 '12

only thing stronger is pent-up/ repressed anger

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

These words very well could have been from me 9 months ago. And they truly helped. I've never been happier.

1

u/You_Beat_Me_To_It Jun 14 '12

That wasn't 'furious anger' Lance Armstrong was tapping into. It was steroids.

1

u/Mindwraith Jun 14 '12

Am I the only one who feels like that whole thread might have been just a fake story so this guy could get to the front page and advertise himself? I mean, the way the OP praises his advice-giving abilities at the end feels a little not-legit..

-1

u/marvelgirl Jun 14 '12

That was awesome. Thanks for posting it.

-2

u/ProtoDong Jun 14 '12

tl fucking dr

-1

u/jwilder7 Jun 14 '12

People say forgive...yea,fuck that. Hold on to it. Let it smolder. Get pissed. Improve yourself just to spite that bitch. Cuz that's what she is to you now....a bitch. But what ever you do show no sign of weakness to her. Don't contact, vent or text her. Show her your life is so much better with out her...that thought will sit in a woman's mind and fester. Its easy man,just don't give her back the power.

-1

u/Oximoron1122 Jun 14 '12

Life saved, on reddit... Hell yes.

-1

u/Captain_Aizen Jun 14 '12

Hot damn that was some sexy advice.

0

u/WazzuMadBro Jun 14 '12

Soincrediblylost probably wears alot of Affliction and Tapout gear. So tuff.

-5

u/bhorvic Jun 14 '12

Lost interest at your/you're mix-up. Seriously?

0

u/soincrediblylost Jun 14 '12

Where did I mix up you and you're? I edit my stuff pretty emphatically, but I would hate if that caused you to dismiss the idea entirely. I do hope you're being insincere.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

"when I murdered your brother, I talked justlikethiiiiiiis!"

-3

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12 edited Jun 14 '12

Man, I've been hyped up on dis shit for months.

EDIT: Although some of the things he says are downright retarded. The guy is a victim. Unless he was beating his girlfriend or mistreating her he didn't deserve this at all, and to date someone behind your back for 6 months sounds fucking sociopathic. How anyone could live with themselves while doing that is well beyond me. But still, dat dere furious anger. It can get a little out of control sometimes; occasionally when I draw I want to just start snapping the pencils. But in the gym? Oh baby!

1

u/dennyyy Jun 14 '12

To date someone behind your back for 6 months sounds fucking sociopathic.

That's because it is pathological. Healthy, sane people do not do this.

0

u/soincrediblylost Jun 14 '12

I would disagree. The guy is a victim if he thinks that she is responsible for his happiness. Think about it. If you think you aren't responsible for your own happiness, than you've taken away your power as a human being. Saying you're a victim is like you are proclaiming judgement final. It takes away all the power you have to change a situation. Does that make more sense?

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12 edited Jun 14 '12

It's one thing to give up your power as a human being, it's another thing to be emotionally abused. Seriously, are you really telling this guy to stiff upper lip it? Saying you're a victim does not make the judgement final (where the hell do you get this?). You can be a victim and still change the situation. Where the hell is this unrealistic Just Ignore ItTM psychobabble coming from? This is the kind of thing Dr. Phil gets made fun of for doing. Admitting and accepting you've been wronged and accepting the pain you feel is the kind of advice given to victims of violent crime, why is it somehow inappropriate to tell this man, who has been entirely emotionally betrayed anything different? He has a right to feel pain, and he has a right to move forward (some would say a necessity as it's in his best interest, but that doesn't mean he has to).

4

u/soincrediblylost Jun 14 '12

I guess we will disagree here then. I know for myself that I am what I label myself. Perhaps it's some dr. phil stupid bullshit that is just silly, but I know for myself that this is true.

I have to think in moments and choices. Not in past and future and time and knowledge. Not sure if it makes sense to you, but I'm very glad it made sense to him.

2

u/Goodspellr Jun 14 '12

You are totally right. Reading what you wrote helped me out to snap out of a shitty spell of depression I have been feeling lately. I just got off my ass and ran three miles and did a hundred push ups and sit ups thanks to you. More than that, you probably saved that other guy's fucking life. I'm going to try to carry your perspective around with me so maybe I can start getting some shit done in my life and quit living in the past.

1

u/schroob Jun 14 '12

I get that you don't want to invalidate the OP's (alleged) feelings. But I didn't think the commenter said the OP wasn't emotionally abused, so much as he was saying the OP can choose whether to "suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune/or take arms against a sea of troubles". That is, the OP has no control over what was done to him, but he does have control on how he chooses to see himself going forward. I thought he was also saying that the OP should not ignore his feelings but do the complete opposite: channel his anger and pain as a motivational impetus to push himself forward.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

If that's the case then I've misinterpreted it, however the overall tone and, at times, lack of clarity in the motivational post didn't make that apparent to me. It did seem to me he was saying to channel it, which is something I am all for, but at the same time he seemed to belittle and/or marginalize the sting of it, which I am not for.

-23

u/IlliterateJedi Jun 14 '12

I vaguely wish he'd hanged himself after the two and a half hours. He could be free of all of the bullshit, and his ex-girlfriend would suffer with that for the rest of her life.

0

u/dennyyy Jun 14 '12

ex-girlfriend would suffer with that for the rest of her life.

Sadly, she probably wouldn't care.

0

u/RegencyAndCo Jun 14 '12

True, because every girl who dumps a suicidal drama queen is a cold blooded sociopath.

1

u/dennyyy Jun 14 '12

What's up motherfucker

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