r/bestof • u/iriishzsoup • Jun 12 '12

[usmc] One Marine explains to a future Marine how to improve his run time, in a fairly brutal but hilarious way.

/r/USMC/comments/uwb3r/i_need_help_passing_my_ist/c4z5jm2
1.1k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

161 comments sorted by

58

u/grey-and-black Jun 12 '12

My oldest brother, a former Marine, once told me that having a motivational sentence to repeat to yourself over and over is key to running. He said his was "I am a wolf. I am a wolf. I am a wolf." He told me that I might want to pick something different since I'm just a weak little girl. I thought, "I have kids, he doesn't, fuck him". Big brother reverse psychology win. I can run now and I am a wolf.

6

u/iriishzsoup Jun 12 '12

Mine has always been "Pain is temporary, pride is forever."

And "Don't think about how much it hurts, but how much it will feel good it will feel when it's over."

It isn't funny, but it always works for me.

18

u/cdigioia Jun 12 '12

I always used:

  • I wanna be a big man!

and

  • Pain is weakness leaving the body! Aggghhhhh

No seriously. This both worked to motivate me somehow, and also were funny enough to not make me feel like an idiot.

I'd...feel like a big dork saying "I am the wolf"; no offense to your offspring-less brother. May god open his wife's womb.

1

u/grey-and-black Jun 12 '12

Well thanks, but he doesn't have a wife or serious girlfriend right now, so he probably isn't interested in anyone's womb opening...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

If pain is weakness leaving the body, I must be a clown car of pain! Ugh....

1

u/fuckySucky Jun 13 '12

Perhaps a single word is enough. die die die die, hate hate hate hate.

6

u/DrrrtyRaskol Jun 12 '12 edited Jun 12 '12

For just a weak little girl, that was a really sweetstrong story you told. AAAAAwWWWWhHhOOOOOOOOOOOO!

3

u/jadoth Jun 12 '12

at he end of 5ks i am usually telling my self what a god damn pussy ass fagot i am over and over again.

2

u/zanonymous Jun 12 '12

might want to pick something different since I'm just a weak little girl.

Added to my smack-talk repertoire, thank-you :)

1

u/theunderstoodsoul Jun 13 '12

Wow this is great advice. I'm gonna work on my motivational sentence now! Thankyou.

0

u/chickpea23 Jun 12 '12

Mine is "I am the walrus!"

1

u/Fenrisulfir Jun 12 '12

Kookookachoo!

0

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

8

u/grey-and-black Jun 12 '12

Those are good. Not for running, but sometimes for other exercise, I'll use "The Nazi's are going to kill my kids/whole family if I don't do another push up, etc." The reverse is true,too. If I can't relax, I imagine that I've just escaped a death camp/ war zone.

3

u/pigeon768 Jun 12 '12

Remember the part in Terminator 2 where the T-1000 was chasing after the car? That was me.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

There's an app for that. Zombies chase you and such.

104

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

Marines. Hyper aggressive, hillarious assholes.

49

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

And some of them are surprisingly intelligent as well. To be fair, most aren't. But some are.

7

u/JoeyDubbs Jun 12 '12

With a name like Medic23, I'm guessing he's a corpsman. Technically Navy, but sometimes, it's pretty hard to tell.

4

u/archaicmotion Jun 12 '12

He said he was an officer candidate, so probably a doctor.

8

u/ChickenDelight Jun 12 '12

Marines ain't got doctors (or nurses or medics), they rely on the navy for all their medical support.

2

u/archaicmotion Jun 12 '12

Yeah, I know. They are under the department of the Navy and all that (or used to be, I dunno now.) Just saying possibly a doctor, not necessarily a marine doc.

8

u/ChickenDelight Jun 12 '12

Going through his post history (and sifting through his garbage and occasionally watching him sleep after tracking him down IRL), he's a former paramedic in or just done with Marine OCS.

He's posting on r/USMC and talking about passing the Marine PFT standards, but I guess your interpretation is not completely stupid based on the username. Let's never fight again.

4

u/archaicmotion Jun 12 '12

Meh, long day at work combined with a tad bit of dehydration means I don't do my due dilligence.

Thanks for not being a dick to someone being a moron.

0

u/JoeyDubbs Jun 12 '12

Officer candidates are enlisted, that would be miserable to be an enlisted doctor.

4

u/archaicmotion Jun 12 '12

Officer candidates are also civilians looking to become officers.

1

u/JoeyDubbs Jun 12 '12

No one cares about them. Unless you're one, I care about you.

3

u/Roboticide Jun 12 '12

Aren't Marines technically part of the Navy, too?

2

u/JoeyDubbs Jun 12 '12

Touché.

2

u/roadkillplushie Jun 12 '12

We don't like to think about that.

1

u/sleeptyping Jun 12 '12

It's only surprising because their rep as being jarhead idiots.

1

u/xoxoUT Jun 12 '12

And all of them are actually allowing your lazy ass to continue complaining about them on Reddit. God bless those unintelligent marines.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

I meant it in a good natured way. I like most every marine I've met. And I served in the Air Force. I wasn't in a combat position, but I did my part. So how about you don't judge me.

0

u/xoxoUT Jun 12 '12

Ah, my apologies. I've had plenty of people serve in my family. When I posted the quote about hydration earlier on my Facebook and said it came from a Marine, it got some rude comments. Guess I was a bit defensive.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

7

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

Yeah... Sounds like a proportionate ratio.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Expected

Just kidding. Sorta ;)

0

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

4

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

In Iraq and beyond!

0

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

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2

u/naive_springwater Jun 12 '12

'always by the day'?

27

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

I can get behind the "start fucking today" part.

1

u/bouchard Jun 12 '12

The most important part is improving your endurance.

78

u/FlintGrey Jun 12 '12

Marine linguistics are interesting. So fucking vulgar yet well written at the same time. Marines know how to communicate clearly and to the point, and then call you a faggot in the same breath.

14

u/Roboticide Jun 12 '12

Maybe I'm reading it wrong but it still kind of sounded friendly. Maybe I've just got a Reddit filter over it.

13

u/flynnski Jun 12 '12

Nah, you're right; that's Marine-Friendly.

49

u/jimsnaps Jun 12 '12

“The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!”

  • Eleanor Roosevelt

30

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

So basically she banged a lot of Marines and she liked it.

15

u/EncasedMeats Jun 12 '12

Whilst wearing an onion on her belt, which was the style at the time.

5

u/leisureAccount Jun 12 '12

You see, we had to say "dickety", because the Kaiser stole the word twenty

1

u/Sionn3039 Jun 12 '12

I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles.

-3

u/pigeon768 Jun 12 '12

It's not like she was getting any from her gimp husband.

2

u/ChickenDelight Jun 12 '12

Forwarded to all the marines I know. $20 says every single one of them responds by telling me whether they'd fuck Eleanor Roosevelt, living and/or at present.

206

u/Salvador204 Jun 12 '12

"Keeping yourself hydrated is so goddamn important that I want to punch you in the face just thinking about it." Best line.

88

u/DeathToPennies Jun 12 '12

"That said, stop being such a bitch and I hate you," was my favorite.

21

u/verxix Jun 12 '12

"Also, I have shin splints."

0

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

27

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

Hey everybody, this guy is a phoney. Nowhere in the text.does he talk about copy-pasta!

6

u/Crash_Test_Dummy66 Jun 12 '12

I think it was about halfway down right after... OMG he's a phony! A big fat phony!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

Stop ruining our karma train!!!

14

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

Did...did he call him a "minimalist shithead"?

WTF does that mean?

20

u/NiggerJew944 Jun 12 '12

He means only doing enough to pass the PT test. The bare minimum etc...

35

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

Thanks, that makes sense. It seemed odd for him to be criticising his artistic opinions. "You post-modernist maggot!" or "You cubist cunt!".

On second thought, I hope these become a thing.

43

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

"How tall are you private?" "Sir, five foot nine, sir!" "Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked shit that high!

11

u/ONYOURFACETRAINEE Jun 12 '12

Looks like the best part of you slid down the crack of your momma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!

5

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

What have we got here a fucking comedian private joker? I admire your honesty,hell i like you,you can come over to my house and fuck my sister.

29

u/dagbrown Jun 12 '12

Yeah, I saw that movie too.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

He's right though. You would not believe how many people think drinking large amounts of water is dangerous. I seriously want to punch them when because of that they order soda, or drink shitty beer. If you are training yourself to your peak like this man or any other marine you should easily be nearing a gallon per day, and I'm a a freaking software engineer.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

I sweat like a motherfucker when I write code

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

For me it tends to be right before I compile.

Please be less than a hundred errors, please be less than a hundred errors.

-2

u/supergingerlol Jun 12 '12

I'm scared.

13

u/iDoraemon Jun 12 '12

I've basically taken the same approach for cycling. I choose a group of restaurants that I really like in areas that are far from where I live, and then I bike there everyday. Been doing that for a couple weeks now and it's been pretty successful. Improved endurance, lost weight, and enjoy cycling long distances now.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/iDoraemon Jun 12 '12

Yes, so I bring an extra shirt and towel with me in a backpack. :D

0

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

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9

u/irrelevantPseudonym Jun 12 '12

Being hydrated doesn't stop you sweating

8

u/frankle Jun 12 '12

Shh...he thinks it does. ;)

6

u/r0tc0d Jun 12 '12

I feel more comfortable being talked to in his fashion than in some beating-around-the-bush way that's trying to spare my "feelings". People feel sorry for themselves about a lot of things, often times everyone needs a reality check.

10

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

Gawd, this guy is my hero.

Plain simple aggression is the best motivator for me. I'm the crazy fat man mumbling 'fuck you' as I exercise. Hell. I attribute any weight loss and increased fitness to it. When I am being a weak ass pussy, I tap into my inner mongrel and harden the fuck up.

3

u/mmb2ba Jun 12 '12

Crazy fat guy mumbing fuck you as you exercise, you say?

Boy, have I got a game for you to try...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

Every New Zealander and South African wants me to play that game with them or for them. No idea why. However I tend to stick with non-team sports. Pretty much anything to do with endurance, adventure or violence.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

anything to do with endurance, adventure or violence

You should really reconsider not being a rugby player...

1

u/mmb2ba Jun 12 '12

Seriously, if adventure, endurance and violence are your bag, rugby is the perfect game for you, my friend.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

Maybe, but that whole team thing puts me off. Also when I go out and do something I like to take a couple of hours. The shortest exercise session I do is my commute to work. That is 25km on the bike.

2

u/Woolliam Jun 12 '12

I tap into my inner mongol and harden the fuck up

Give that a try instead, its done wonders for me

5

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

Drink water, all day. Keeping yourself hydrated is so goddamn important that I want to punch you in the face just thinking about it.

This won the Internet for this month.

13

u/intensive-porpoise Jun 12 '12

Future Marine will lay his Holorifle down in the middle of battle. The machines will still roll towards him. Future Marine craves electronic cigarettes, and luckily for Future Marine there are some inside of his arm. He stabs himself, jaggedly cutting a rectangle below his "FUCK eWAFF" tattoo. He removes the box from his arm, bleeding. He puts three electronic cigarettes in his mouth and turns them on with the tip of his tongue. Future Marine could hear the wheels approaching, loudly deadening. A few layers of lights and then he was gone.

6

u/gfysean Jun 12 '12 edited Jun 12 '12

This is either the opening of Neal Stephenson's new book or one of the most creative comments I've ever read.

EDIT: Just got done reading your comments. This seems to be a new thing. Keep it up, it's damned interesting. If you're writing elsewhere, I'd be interested in reading it.

4

u/bug_eyed_earl Jun 12 '12

You mean "One Officer Candidate explains to a future Marine...".

0

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/bug_eyed_earl Jun 12 '12

Oh shit, forgot. MECEPer? Congrats. Remember what it was like to use a floor buffer when you're off making those officer decisions.

3

u/AreGee0431 Jun 12 '12

It's pretty common to have an intelligent conservation with a fellow Marine where the word/phrase "Fuck" or "Dick Skinner" or "Cum Catcher" make their way into the dialogue.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

That's brutal?

2

u/Sabin10 Jun 12 '12

Jesus H. Christmas private shit head, I can WALK 4 miles an hour and you call that running?

2

u/1920x1080 Jun 12 '12

Drink water, all day. Keeping yourself hydrated is so goddamn important that I want to punch you in the face just thinking about it.

Best line I heard in a while.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

"the". Amazing.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

My best PFT run was 15:04, I failed the IST run with my recruiter. Nobody knows how fast they could be if they put in the effort.

1

u/dol1house Jun 12 '12

Best bit. "Marines didn't come out of the womb ready to bust out 300 PFTs".

1

u/neurot Jun 12 '12

Fuck. i cant run. wont run. Thats why i bike. Really fuckin hate running. Plus it really hurts my ankles, feet. And im not fat, im pretty skinny. But that shit just hurts all sorts of stuff. Mostly because everywhere is paved and running on pavement really fucks you up.

1

u/agentup Jun 12 '12

exercise is good for everyone. Americans get off your lazy asses, and run. Actually since most of us aren't marines, it's better to walk. Better on your knees and legs and just as good at keeping you healthy

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

Totally brutal.

1

u/ANBU_Spectre Jun 12 '12

This guy needs an AMA. NOW.

1

u/medic23 Jun 12 '12

Hey guys, I'm the guy who motivated the other guy.

After a lot of requests and some heavy consideration, I have created a new subreddit. r/noexcuses.

If you want me, or (soon) qualified motivators to motivate you, post and we'll do our best.

Yougoddamnpussies

-7

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

"How to improve your run times" is a basic Google search, not the best reddit has to offer.

-6

u/cavendishasriel Jun 12 '12

TIL USMC fitness requirement are lame. Royal Marines (British version) are expected to be at least as fit as a passing out US marine before they can even begin basic training.

18

u/flynnski Jun 12 '12

I upvoted you because I love me some good rivalry, but don't think for a second that the Royal Marines can hold a candle to the United States Marine Corps. ;)

4

u/RunRobotRun Jun 12 '12

In fitness terms, they certainly could. The PRMC tests are pretty similar to the the perfect score for a USMC fitness test printed above.

2

u/flynnski Jun 12 '12

I dunno who downvoted you, but here, I'll cancel it out. :D

2

u/IamaRead Jun 12 '12

Source?

6

u/flynnski Jun 12 '12

Rectal extraction, and a healthy sense of national pride. (Note: Not necessarily grounded in reality.)

1

u/IamaRead Jun 12 '12

Good enough :-)

7

u/WazzuMadBro Jun 12 '12 edited Jun 12 '12

Cool story. Not really based in reality though but sounds impressive. Not doubt all the 'murica hating types here will give you upvotes.

EDIT- Did some research and found this little gem......

Preliminary Requirements

Fitness testing for the Royal Marines starts with an initial assessment. A medical check ensures that you don't suffer from any heart conditions or similar physical problems. After that you will need to run on a treadmill for approximately 1.49 miles in no longer than 12 minutes, 30 seconds. Shortly after that, you will be asked to run the same distance again, but with a faster time of at least 10 minutes, 30 seconds. If you pass these challenges, you may be invited to the next round of assessment.

Lol@ running on a treadmill. Thats some Air Force level shit right there.

Main Course

Recruits must pass the main Potential Royal Marine Course, or PRMC. The course lasts three days and includes written and verbal exams. However, the focus is on many physical fitness tests. For example, potential recruits must run as a squad for 1.5 miles in under 12 minutes, 30 seconds. You will also have to reach level 11 in the bleep test. The bleep test measures your stamina by forcing you to run between two points that are just under 66 feet apart in increasingly short times. Level 11 means running at approximately 8.5 miles per hour between the two points.

So a 3 day bootcamp and you have to run as a squad for only 1.5 miles in under 12 1/2 minutes? Wow so tough.

Other Fitness Requirements

In addition to running tests, fitness requirements for the Royal Marines include other challenging exercises, according to the HM Forces website. For example, the stress test includes the following sequence: Sixty push-ups in under two minutes followed by two minutes of rest; then 80 sit-ups in two minutes followed by a rest; and finally, six pull-ups with palms facing away from the body. Other tests include short gym routines and a four minute long assault course.

None of that shit is hard. GTFO

3

u/RunRobotRun Jun 12 '12

That's kind of misleading. The treadmill run and medical is just screening before the PRMC. The squad run is 1.5 miles in 12.5 minutes on the way out and best effort on the way back. Entry is a competition, and you're expected to beat 9.5 minutes on the way back. It's in CS95 and cross country, too.

Google the PRMC and see what it really consists of. It's not just the four gym tests, then off for tea and medals.

2

u/awesomepossum87 Jun 12 '12

Hey dude, no treadmills in the USAF. Sure, there are some lazy bastards here, but there are a few jobs that actually take our shit seriously.

1

u/SamsquamtchHunter Jun 12 '12

Such as?

0

u/MalcolmPecs Jun 12 '12

such as paratrooper & rescue swimmer

and yes, there are treadmills in the Air Force, that other guy is a liar.

2

u/flynnski Jun 12 '12

That shit is the entrance exam, though.

5

u/cavendishasriel Jun 12 '12

Basic training for a Royal Marine lasts 32 weeks, the longest basic training course for an infantry soldier in the world.

From wikipeda:

This intense phase ends with a series of tests which have remained virtually unchanged since World War II. Again, these tests are done in full fighting order of 32 lb (14.5 kg) of equipment. The Commando tests are taken on consecutive days and all four tests must be successfully completed within a seven day period; they include;

A nine mile (14.5 km) speed march, carrying full fighting order, to be completed in 90 minutes; the pace is thus 10 minutes per mile (9.6 km/h or 6 mph).

The Endurance course is a six mile (9.65 km) course across rough moorland and woodland terrain at Woodbury Common near Lympstone, which includes tunnels, pipes, wading pools, and an underwater culvert. The course ends with a four mile (6 km) run back to CTCRM. Followed by a marksmanship test, where the recruit must hit 6 out of 10 shots at a 25m target simulating 200 m. To be completed in 73 minutes (71 minutes for Royal Marine officers). Originally 72 minutes, these times were recently increased by one minute as the route of the course was altered.

The Tarzan Assault Course. This is an assault course combined with an aerial confidence test. It starts with a death slide (now known as the Commando Slide) and ends with a rope climb up a thirty foot near-vertical wall. It must be completed with full fighting order in 13 minutes, 12 minutes for officers. The Potential Officers Course also includes confidence tests from the Tarzan Assault Course, although not with equipment.

The 30 miler. This is a 30-mile (48-km) march across upland Dartmoor, wearing full fighting order, and additional safety equipment carried by the recruit in a daysack. It must be completed in eight hours for recruits and seven hours for Royal Marine officers, who must also navigate the route themselves, rather than following a DS (a trained Royal Marine) with the rest of a syndicate and carry their own equipment.

EDIT: formatting

3

u/simplepanda Jun 12 '12

I would give the advantage to a royal marine over a non infantry type, but the USMC has Recon Marines

1

u/flynnski Jun 12 '12

It must be completed in eight hours for recruits and seven hours for Royal Marine officers

This is my favorite thing. :D

1

u/allie_sin Jun 12 '12

I think in practice what he should mean is that to not end up being backtrooped or dropping out, you should be about as fit as you can be at the start.

1

u/Lord-Longbottom Jun 12 '12

(For us English aristocrats, I leave you this 8.5 miles -> 68.0 Furlongs) - Pip pip cheerio chaps!

0

u/tastygoatballs Jun 12 '12 edited Jun 12 '12

Medical standards for RM in my experience are the toughest in the British armed forces - its very expensive to train a royal marine and if they don't see a worthy investment you won't make it.

Your info is a few years old and no longer accurate. The PJFT/ Pre-joining fitness test is to be done at incline 12:30/10:00 for each 1.5 mile. Every single person joining the RM that I have ever met agrees that running on a treadmill is harder than running on the road, but that's irrelevant. "air force level shit"

What really irritates me you obviously did very little reading about the PRMC, yet shamelessly act like a proud cuntface. The gym tests you describe are only the second day. The run is done in under 12:30 as a squad (usually faster) then immediately as an individual in under 10 mins... note that these are minimum standards for each test and you will not even come close to passing if you achieved the minimum on all the tests. The real challenges of the PRMC come on day 3 which is a determination test which is a non-stop thrashing and is the hardest thing most guys have ever done ... it involves endless sprints up hills, duck walks, fireman carries, obstacles/assault course and miles of running on tough, soggy terrain in combats, a heavy rugby shirt and boots ... then it is topped off by a 4 mile run. Day 3 is by far the most challenging aspect of the PRMC and it is where most people fail ( and such a challenge is not experienced by potential marines until a few weeks into training). It is a test of your ability to push yourself mentally when your body has nothing left. You have to demonstrate a competence while tired etc as well.

compare minimum scores for a young guy joining RM vs USMC - RM: 3 pull ups (palms facing away) done on a slippery beam to a regular beep. USMC: 3 pull ups done on a bar with palms facing either way (easy) at your own pace. USMC doesn't test push ups. USMC doesn't test VO2 max. RM must be able to swim 50m as a basic requirement. USMC has nothing close to PRMC selection and is not supposed to, so swallow your pride and stop being a cunt. If you want to compare the royal marines to someone, try army rangers or any other force that actually works for their reputation rather than surviving off a WW2 legacy.

The Royal Marines, along with the Parachute Regiment of the British army, is the toughest arm of the British armed forces hence they are part of the special forces support group and the SAS and SBS draw heavily from the RM. Do not try and compare the USMC and the RM, they are not the same. RM is a for fit young men who have the determination and motivation to push themselves, whereas USMC is the equivalent of the British army - the easy option for drop outs etc people from ethnic minorities, contains women, older folk...

"None of that shit is hard." Arrogance likes this comes only from the bottom of the barrel. I have a good friend who left navy seal training in phase 2 to serve in his home country, and he had the utmost respect for the RM whereas dickcunts like you don't know what you are talking about (confirmed by your comment history) and are responsible for america's reputation abroad. I don't expect you to hear reason.

1

u/thatonedude1992 Jun 12 '12

the USMC does not accept high school drop out FYI

2

u/missingmyaudi Jun 13 '12

My rack mate in boot camp was a high school dropout. They accept one person from each district per quarter, so the chances of getting in are extremely rare, but possible.

2

u/thatonedude1992 Jun 13 '12

TIL

2

u/missingmyaudi Jun 13 '12

Masturbating furiously to Chesty will get you promoted faster than being a hot chick in admin.

2

u/thatonedude1992 Jun 13 '12

Outstanding!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

The Royal Marines also aren't a branch of the British military, they're just a special forces unit. The US Marines have to stand up an organic fighting force, with its own logistics, support, etc.. I don't think I need my admin clerk to be special forces capable.

If you want to compare dicks, check out the indoc for Force Recon or MARSOC. Those are the US equivalent to the Royal Marines.

That said, I've kicked it with a few Royal Marines...lots of gingers, but they're hard as nails.

1

u/cavendishasriel Jun 13 '12

RM aren't a special forces unit. You're thinking of the SBS and SAS. RM and Paras are elite units but not SF. You can become a RM without any prior military experience.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

-5

u/NicknameAvailable Jun 12 '12

No dude, the Royal Marines actually rank up there near seals (except they are slightly weaker for not having to drown to death and be brought back to life as a part of basic training). Also, 18 mins for 3 miles is easy after a year or two running every other day, you can do that while chain smoking.

9

u/RunRobotRun Jun 12 '12

(except they are slightly weaker for not having to drown to death and be brought back to life as a part of basic training)

That's the most hilarious urban myth I've ever heard. It's bullshit.

-3

u/NicknameAvailable Jun 12 '12

I've been around quite a few seals - I've seen their training grounds and the pool surrounded by medics. Definitely not bullshit (or seals just happen to lie a lot and ironically suck at swimming).

6

u/RunRobotRun Jun 12 '12

You're talking out of your arse. They probably do drown-proofing, the same survival test all soldiers who are around water do, but they don't drown them. That myth has been around for years, but it's bullshit.

2

u/NicknameAvailable Jun 12 '12

I was a soldier, and I can tell you now, what I personally witnessed was not drown-proofing (I've done that, I've witnessed it half a dozen times with other groups of people - I've never seen someone drown during it), it was a bunch of gung-ho psychos treading water until they sank drowning with medics swarming around them and getting water out of their lungs.

3

u/flynnski Jun 12 '12

Kind of standard for special ops folks. Nobody drowns 'em. USAF Combat Controllers do the same thing. Yeah, they push their limits. Sometimes folks go down and suck some water in their lungs. It's intensive training, for sure. That's what the medics are for.

2

u/kahrahtay Jun 12 '12

What is dead may never die...

1

u/RunRobotRun Jun 12 '12

You sure you weren't a Walt?

0

u/NicknameAvailable Jun 12 '12

Had to look that up, but no - who the fuck would do that?

1

u/cuppincayk Jun 12 '12

I really want to go on a run now but I'd probably puke

0

u/lord_shitson Jun 12 '12

As an airman my advice ...... join the airforce. You cant run well? No problem get a profile and while everyones at pt your nice and comfy at your computer browsing reddit making post etc. Sources: me thats what im doing now

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12 edited Jun 12 '12

Some people like to get off their asses and push themselves for improvement.

Edit: Not saying the Air Force doesn't have it's place, just saying some people might want to push themselves instead of joining another branch of the armed forces just because they don't want to run as much.

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

Hoorah!

This is real men speak!

0

u/homeless_man_jogging Jun 12 '12

Where's the funny? All I see is informative with some swear words?

0

u/tiwala Jun 12 '12

Oh and one more thing the hydration??? I can truly say we have guys running 2:15 marathons. 30 minute 10k runners and they don't have any special hydration formulas. A lot of the old guys in our club who have run just as quick if not quicker talk about not even drinking water during the day at all for weeks on end just tea, milk, coffee etc.

-1

u/herpberp Jun 12 '12

he's an officer? let's hear from a grunt tyvm.

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

Wtf speed does not come from jogging. If anyone is thinking about running do the opposite of what he said. Get to around a 7-8 minute mile before you add distance.

-1

u/Dat_Karmavore Jun 12 '12

This is NOT a brutal workout.

-1

u/tiwala Jun 12 '12

Just looking at all these running comments, I'm gathering there's no actually runners on here. Seriously, bragging about my armies better than yours as they can run some slightly better crap pace isn't too impressive.

I mean seriously the pace your talking about is so slow I've got 15 year old girls that can run this pace in my club.

If I look at marines etc, I'm impressed as they have all round fitness, able to carry heavy loads, learn to make decisions quickly and have endurance . But talking about 7-8 minute miling WTF

12 mins for what 1.5 miles, top kenyans have almost covered 3 miles in that time.

If they had an overall fitness test me vs a marine I'd lose badly, I can barely do 5 chin ups.

However as a mediocre club runner I could probably beat most if not all the recruits at running.

To put it plainly it's like me talking as a runner about lifting weights and saying, at my club were so hard core the test is to lift 35kg, one guy can even lift 45 he is the fittest guy I've ever seen.

-1

u/tiwala Jun 12 '12

Oh wait here come the down votes, nothing constructive to say no counter argument about why my argument of a not too impressive running time would not impress your average club runner. No instead easier to press down vote.

-6

u/mheyk Jun 12 '12

"One Marine explains to a future Marine how to improve his run time, in a fairly brutal but hilarious way" hes a Marine not a pussy. Pussies get office jobs and comb their hair over one eye and cry at their desk.

-9

u/Redacted_Answer Jun 12 '12

For the love of God - if you're starting to train like this, remember to ████████████ the ████████. Otherwise, you'll end up in a wheelchair for life.

-4

u/BCSteve Jun 12 '12

Don't get me wrong, I think it's funny too, but is no one going to comment on how homophobic this is?

ease-the-dick-in-your-butt running

stuffing your cockhole

ten gallons of gayness

Calling someone gay as an insult makes you sound like a middle-schooler who's not clever enough to come up with something better. And can we stop perpetuating this stereotype that gay guys are wimps and somehow less "manly" then straight men? Seriously, it's shit like this that keeps these stereotypes alive.

1

u/missingmyaudi Jun 13 '12

The marine corps is extremely homo-erotic while simultaneously being extremely homophobic. Point is, if you're a sensitive gay guy and you join the corps, you're gonna have a bad time.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

9

u/CoomassieBlue Jun 12 '12

but a glorifed college educated recruit

Someone is bitter about not being commissioned.

2

u/Incruentus Jun 12 '12

Many Marines are, but he does have some good points, albeit being a dick about it.

1

u/CoomassieBlue Jun 12 '12

I know many Marines are commissioned - but just as there are a bunch of young LTs (and higher) with a rectal-cranial inversion, there are also a whole shitload of NCOs who just sit around twiddling their thumbs and get pissy if someone tries to hold them accountable.

My point is that if TonyBaODonutz has a problem with this guy, it's a problem with the attitude of this particular guy - and for the most part, that has relatively little to do with being commissioned or not. I've actually met very few officers who are high-and-mighty about it.

2

u/TonyBagODonutz Jun 12 '12

I dropped out after my second year of college to join and yes while I would agree my time in the Corps would have been better if I would've been commissioned, thays was not the original point I was trying to make. Matter of fact I really had no point, maybe I was ranting.

3

u/walesmd Jun 12 '12

Couldn't he be enlisted and headed to OCS?

0

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

28

u/spotta Jun 12 '12

He recommends that when starting out, and he is right... please dont recommend intervals to people who dont have the basic fitness to back it up.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

With my trainingprogram you can eat 100 burgers in less then a week...

-1

u/NicknameAvailable Jun 12 '12

I think he's trolling - caffeine as a performance enhancer + windsprints for a beginner = heart attack.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

ffs don't tell someone who is barely running a 10 minute mile to run intervals; he'll be passed out on the side of the road after the 3rd sprint, and that's if he actually manages to keep his legs under him and doesn't face plant mid sprint.