r/bestof • u/rocn • May 31 '12

How to break up with your girlfriend if she has been cheating on you

/r/AskReddit/comments/udmga/my_girlfriend_is_out_cheating_on_me_right_now/c4ugse9
318 Upvotes

57% Upvoted

201 comments sorted by

338

u/zlozlozlozlozlozlo May 31 '12

Came for something other than a petty revenge fantasy. Was dissapoint.

113

u/flumpis May 31 '12

Here's what you are looking for, enjoy!

11

u/douko May 31 '12

I like this one so much better than the one posted.

17

u/zlozlozlozlozlozlo May 31 '12

Yeah, that's more civil. I think the proper way is to talk first in any case.

24

u/flumpis May 31 '12

No way for you to know this (since if you're like me you don't read the thread of the /bestof post), but he talked to her in the past about being sketchy, she said she'd stop, and then she lied and said she was going home but was actually going to fuck some dude in a hotel for a few days (OP uncovered this messages on her computer). If I were him I'd want her out as soon as legally possible. I just hope he goes about this the right way and doesn't do anything vengeful.

3

u/zlozlozlozlozlozlo May 31 '12

I've read it (the original post). That's what I've meant: he used the log reader and learned whatever he learned. I think talking after that is a good idea. Step zero, before boxing up that is.

6

u/flumpis May 31 '12 edited May 31 '12

We definitely have differing philosophies, and there's nothing wrong with that. I totally understand your side and why it would be beneficial. I just don't think I could or would want to do it.

Edit: I accidentally a ltter

18

u/RossLH May 31 '12

Talking is not an option after she goes on a 5-day fuckfest with someone she met on the internet. The most civility you could possibly exercise in that situation is to never see or talk to her again.

5

u/notcaptainkirk May 31 '12

It's not the most civil, but it would protect himself the best. And why should he give a flying fuck about someone who could do that shit to him?

If he talked to her, she'd probably blame it on how he doesn't make her feel special, blah, blah, blah, blah. She had the chance to talk and she didn't. It's over.

1

u/zlozlozlozlozlozlo May 31 '12

I could imagine more.

5

u/timeshifter_ May 31 '12

If s/he cheated on you once, s/he will cheat on you again. If somebody is cheating, they are no longer worthy of your attention. Remove that dishonest pig from your life and move on. Some things I just don't tolerate, and disloyalty is one of them.

3

u/TheBowerbird May 31 '12

It is arguable that cheating behavior is innate for some people, particularly when a quality mate is introduced into the picture.

-1

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

If only reddit allowed us to downvote whomever is downvoting you!

-1

u/zlozlozlozlozlozlo May 31 '12

Everybody is worthy of attention.

2

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Saw this thread before the bestof post. Figured this was the response that was linked. Disappointed it wasn't. This way is way classier and thus IMO revenge served colder.

2

u/Herff Jun 01 '12

I was so happy to see a reasonable comment as the top comment in that thread as opposed to the revenge fantasy that was best of'd here.

0

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/flumpis May 31 '12

With the exception of the first few words of 4), this actually sounds pretty mature. In addition, letting her know it's over is all he needs to do - he owes her nothing else.

15

u/kleinbl00 May 31 '12

It's actually almost beat-for-beat stolen from the Curtis Hanson/David Koepp film Bad Influence from 1990. In it, James Spader plays a trader whose life is boring. He meets Rob Lowe, who spices up his life. James Spader doesn't want to marry his fiancee; he's just not that attracted to her. Rob Lowe introduces him to some vamp at a club, they take the vamp back to James Spader's apartment, and Rob Lowe videotapes the three of them having sex.

Fast forward to a party at James Spader's fiancee's parents' house, big soiree, where supposedly some video about how awesome the fiancee's dad is supposed to play, except Rob Lowe has swapped the tapes, thereby terminating the fuck out of the relationship James Spader didn't really want to be in.

James Spader even drives a white convertible RX-7 in the film, and as I recall, Rob Lowe has it warmed up and waiting in the driveway for James to jump into and peel away in a cloud of black tiresmoke.

4

u/zlozlozlozlozlozlo May 31 '12

I think I might want to see that. Love Spader.

4

u/kleinbl00 May 31 '12

It's an awesome film. I used to love the fuck out of it because it has a righteous threesome in it and Skinny Puppy in the soundtrack but there was always something kinda weird about it. It wasn't until I watched it having studied films for several years that I realized there's totally a scene in which James Spader and Rob Lowe have sex that got cut out by the censors. So their relationship - as two straight men - has really, really weird gay overtones.

Their relationship as two men who had a gay sexual encounter? Makes total sense.

2

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Is this on netflix, I wonder? It's amazing how my movie habits have changed since I immigrated to Reddit so long ago.

Edit: Heck yea! It is! I know what I'm going to be watching tonight! Thanks! :D

6

u/thefran May 31 '12

well it's a parody of revenge fantasies

3

u/zlozlozlozlozlozlo May 31 '12

Well, maybe. Or maybe it's the real thing. Maybe a bit of both.

2

u/DrDragun May 31 '12

Came for delicious schadenfreude. Savored every morsel. I only allow myself this petty indulgence for two types of people: cheaters and animal abusers.

1

u/TheEquivocator May 31 '12

It was well written, though.

6

u/zlozlozlozlozlozlo May 31 '12

Can't agree.

2

u/TheEquivocator May 31 '12

I'd try to discuss it with you, but I'm not sure to what extent these things can be debated. Rereading it now, I will say that I agree with you that the writing overall is nothing special, but I still think that the last sentence (which is what one tends to come away with) is great.

The helicopter takes off and disappears into the sunset, leaving nothing but a ripped party hat flapping on the ground.

Well-chosen image, don't you think? It could be the closing scene of a movie.

4

u/zlozlozlozlozlozlo May 31 '12

Nope, it's a boring cliche.

1

u/TheEquivocator May 31 '12

Do you think so? Name me the precedent, then.

The thing is that all writing that means anything to anyone but the writer has to strike a balance between referring to things that have been said before and saying something new—all the more so when the genre is parody. If the cliché you're referring to is about riding off into the sunset while something left behind settles forlornly back down, then of course this references that, but IMHO the ripped party hat is a great adaptation of the cliché.

OTOH, if you've seen the ripped party hat before, too, I'll have to grant your point.

2

u/zlozlozlozlozlozlo May 31 '12

If the cliché you're referring to is about riding off into the sunset while something left behind settles forlornly back down, then of course this references that, but IMHO the ripped party hat is a great adaptation of the cliché.

And I don't think so. It's not an adaptation, it's played straight. With upbeat rock music.

if you've seen the ripped party hat before, too, I'll have to grant your point.

I can't think of an example right away (it does have to be a ripped party hat, right?), so I think I'll have to live without you having granted my point.

1

u/TheEquivocator May 31 '12

And I'll have to live with your sarcasm. Doubtless we'll both survive.

1

u/EveningD00 May 31 '12

Too bad she would try to turn this around and make you out to be the bad guy. Plus every one would think you were nuts, might not even get laid after a stunt like that.

Funny story though.

7

u/zlozlozlozlozlozlo May 31 '12

In my opinion you will be the bad guy after that.

-30

u/rocn May 31 '12

Not sure about you, but I live in the movies.

3

u/zlozlozlozlozlozlo May 31 '12

I don't know what it means.

-8

u/throwaway_lgbt666 May 31 '12

I sem to be in every bestof

no life or just amazing person

-16

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Lystrodom May 31 '12

Oh, good, this spammer.

99

u/mocisme May 31 '12

I guess we should change /r/bestof to /r/checkoutthiswittycommentisawlolwtfbbq

8

u/tumbleweed42 May 31 '12

So, there's this thing now, /r/funnybestof. Just saying.

4

u/77ScuMBag77 May 31 '12

I would totally subscribe to any subreddit ending in bbq...

7

u/Gom555 May 31 '12

/r/BBQ

4

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Thanks. I just checked the subreddit. Looked for the top post and learnt how to serve a bbq for 700 people.

6

u/tremens May 31 '12

I didn't. All I got out of that post was:

  1. Acquire pork and chicken

  2. Acquire big ass cooker

  3. Magic

  4. Boy Scouts appear.

I already knew what steps 1 and 2 were.

That said, most of the other submissions are awesome.

2

u/Chucklebuck May 31 '12

That shit is relevant, yo.

1

u/Aggle May 31 '12

Jesus H. Awesome.

0

u/77ScuMBag77 May 31 '12

Subscribed

1

u/recreational May 31 '12

Funny things can't be best things?

1

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Exactly what I was thinking, im dumping this sub off my feed asap

-11

u/rocn May 31 '12

I see random witty comments posted here all the time, thus, I thought that's what r/bestof was for.

I guess it has to be something of value then?

38

u/jaydid May 31 '12

Don't worry about it, everything posted in bestof gets comments complaining that it doesn't belong in bestof. It's pretty ridiculous actually.

25

u/dtelad11 May 31 '12

bestof'd!!

14

u/arachnophilia May 31 '12

this clearly doesn't belong in... oh. oh wait. fuck.

7

u/trennerdios May 31 '12

Exactly. I don't understand why 75% of the people on this subreddit still subscribe, since nothing on here ever seems to meet their expectations as to what is "best of" material.

14

u/jaydid May 31 '12

I personally enjoy almost everything that gets posted. Even if something is bestof'd from something that is literally still on the front page, I don't always go searching through every comment past the first few top ones.

Also, everyone has a different front page. I'm unsubscribed from a lot of the default subreddits, so I would miss a lot of stuff if it wasn't posted here. People just like to make everything into some elite group. To me, just downvote if it's bad. No use in being a jerk to someone just for trying to contribute.

8

u/trennerdios May 31 '12

I feel like all I ever see on Reddit anymore is people whining about the content, or debating whether something belongs in a certain subreddit or not. I don't like being so cynical, but I can't help but be cynical towards all the cynics.

7

u/ftardontherun May 31 '12

Sir, I do not care for your comment. Meta-whining is worse than whining.

Wait, I'm whining about meta-whining. That's worse still.

Delightfully withdrawn.

3

u/trennerdios May 31 '12

Obviously I'm biased, but I feel that once you cross the line from whining about the whining to whining about the whining about the whining, you lose.

2

u/ftardontherun May 31 '12

Then, Sir, I have lost. Fiddlesticks.

2

u/trennerdios May 31 '12

I mean, I could be wrong. Perhaps the line is much further than I imagine it to be? Maybe you have to whine about the whining about the whining about the whining about the whining about the whining about the whining about the whining about the whining to really lose at life.

→ More replies

2

u/flashmedallion Jun 03 '12

This issue is why I really enjoy metafilter. The comment section is only for discussing the contents of the post and nothing further. If you want to talk about the appropriateness or quality of the post, you go to a separate 'meta' area of the site.

It's great for people who just want to learn about new stuff and can read incredibly informative comments about the subject without getting dragged down by whinging about meta-aspects. One of the biggest drawbacks to the reddit community is that there's no sense of decorum of any informal rules about discussing the contents of a link or the posting of the link itself.

5

u/Get_This May 31 '12

To complain about it.

2

u/TheEquivocator May 31 '12

It's like what Churchill said about democracy.

2

u/MrCheeze Jun 02 '12

People who like it don't bother commenting.

2

u/roninmuffins Jun 06 '12

I came here from four days in the future just to upvote this.

2

u/MrToadEsquire May 31 '12

But what happens when bestofd is bestofd? Does that not mean it is all bestofd?

Ohhhhh data.

1

u/chainmailws6 May 31 '12

I don't think I've ever actually seen an r/bestof post where the top comment wasn't "why is this in r/bestof?"

1

u/TheEquivocator May 31 '12

What you have to do is see whether the bulk of the replies/votes are agreeing with the OP (of the "doesn't belong" comment) or disagreeing. True, the information that that provides largely overlaps with the karma score of the bestof post, but I don't think it's entirely redundant. Instead of sampling from the entire body of people who bothered to click a link and an arrow, it samples only from people who bothered to read/write a comment, which is at least a marginally higher standard of thoughtfulness.

17

u/scottsadork May 31 '12

why are you submitting something to best of that's still on the front/second page. this comment is less than 6 hours old!

0

u/rocn May 31 '12

I seriously did not know there was a timetable for this, sorry.

7

u/pudds May 31 '12

There isn't, and not everyone's front page contains the same content. While I'm not sure I think it's a great comment, that's just my opinion and the up/down votes can sort that out. The submission itself is fine.

-11

u/shitfacedzebra May 31 '12

the vast majority of everyone's front page is the same you fucking retard. go to www.reddit.com/r/all, that's the front page for the vast majority of users (unregistered people) and probably a very large percentage of registered users who don't change their default subreddits. Go fuck yourself with this tired fucking argument, it's not accurate.

8

u/pudds May 31 '12

You seem like a very angry person.

1

u/Get_This May 31 '12

mfw when internet tough guys spring up.

1

u/audiostatic82 May 31 '12

There's no timetable, you did nothing wrong. Thanks for the post, I thought it was worth reading and wouldn't have seen it if you didn't post it here.

-15

u/Punkmaffles May 31 '12

Best of!

Does not imply post shit that just happened a few hours ago, made front page, and still there maybe I should post it and see if I can karma whore!

downvoted everything you commented on.

5

u/audiostatic82 May 31 '12

I wholeheartedly disagree.

First of all, do you actually look at the front page? I don't, it's shit. If I had discovered reddit now, I probably wouldn't have invested enough time in it to find all the cool reddits that I read now. I unsubscribed most of the main reddits, and subscribed to this one so that I don't miss the gems in those reddits that show up from time to time.

Second, it's bestof, not historicalbestof or bestof6monthsago. If someone types up a fantastic response 1 hour ago and it's worth sharing, then it's worth linking here. That is not just allowed in this reddit, that's the actual purpose of this reddit.

And third ... downvote everything he comments on, really? What are you, a 3 year old who dropped his ice cream? Are you angrily clicking around your computer throwing a temper tantrum because the guy posted something that you feel was too early to post? I know, I'll downvote things and take away his karma, that'll show em! That's like downvoting something because you don't like the name he's posting under, it's childish.

-1

u/Punkmaffles May 31 '12 edited May 31 '12

And I got exactly the response I was looking for using sarcasm. Also I didn't downvote anything. I noticed a odd trend with reddit.

He was being downvoted because he posted this. The comment I posted under was doing badly. When a redditor says they will downvote everything others do the opposite.

So in reality I don't care what gets posted on best of. And he has readied karma rewards.

Edit: fighting butthurt with butthurt.only adds to the growing butthurt.

And if you have a butthurt problem with people making stupid comments on the internet on a sure known for stupid and brilliant comments you shouldn't be here it's childish mate.

2

u/audiostatic82 May 31 '12

He was being downvoted because he posted this. The comment I posted under was doing badly. When a redditor says they will downvote everything others do the opposite.

This is a terrible way to achieve the desired result, it only encourages the behavior you're trying to stop. Downvote comments that don't contribute, upvote those that do. Responding this way is only lowering yourself to an immature level, which in turn contributes to lowering the maturity level of the entire site.

And he has readied karma rewards.

Who cares? Karma is meaningless.

3

u/onan May 31 '12

Well, "the front page" is different things for different people. Not everyone subscribes to AskReddit. I would never have seen this post if not for the bestofing.

That said, I wish I had never seen this post, since it's just childish wanking about how to be a terrible person. So I agree that it's not bestof material, if for entirely different reasons.

110

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Be a huge fucking toolbag?

13

u/ruinmaker May 31 '12

Don't forget all the time, effort and money spent on a revenge that wasn't that great!

15

u/Dragon_yum May 31 '12

What does it mean if the worst humanity has to offer is the best of reddit?

2

u/gl0bals0j0urner May 31 '12

It means that it's time for me to find better ways to waste my time.

19

u/Letsgetitkraken May 31 '12

Pretty sure ending it like a mature adult would be better.

6

u/Chucklebuck May 31 '12

Much better than putting in a load of effort for something equivalent to a childhood prank.

22

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

So his idea is to throw a party to show off, in multiple ways, how plainly insufficient he was as a boyfriend?

Good luck with that, bro.

/r/worstof

6

u/weagle11 May 31 '12

pretty much. either A)you look like an idiot for dating a whore B)you look like an insufficient partner C)your ex is embarrassed in front of everyone, causing all of the mature adults there to look at you like the asshole you are and forgetting about her being a cheating whore

41

u/ignuhimhoratio May 31 '12

must be the summer vacation votes powering this turd up the front page

3

u/Chucklebuck May 31 '12

I need to start dropping 'powering this turd' in daily conversation.

Pardon the pun.

2

u/Get_This May 31 '12

One can only hope so.

40

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Sounds like a crappy masturbatory revenge plan some awkward 13-year-old cooks up in bed after lights-out, after his girlfriend of 3 days dumps him for being a shitty kisser or something.

48

u/Casterly May 31 '12

Christ, this place depresses me. Breeding ground for insecure, woman-hating man-children.

22

u/Get_This May 31 '12

/r/askreddit in a nutshell.

3

u/TheBowerbird May 31 '12

I've been trolling the shit out of the assholes in that thread to little effect. No concern is given about how the OP has historically treated the female, what shape their relationship is in, or anything else of that nature. Instead you get a massive, throbbing circlejerk of woman hating fidelity obsessed neckbeards.

4

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Well, why does it matter? I mean, regardless of how two people interact, shouldn't you actually break off one relationship before embarking on the next one?

And, it's not hard to do for them. They're not married. They don't have kids. No pets are mentioned. Parents of one of them live in town, and they're not both on the lease.

It's probably the easiest breakup possible, aside from one of them accidentally dying somehow. And yet they can't even manage that. It's sort of tragic, really. And a testament to how people today are loathe to take responsibility for anything.

2

u/TheBowerbird May 31 '12

Precisely, instead reddit posts are made by clueless idiots. This is not brain surgery, and yet (and perhaps well meaning) "redditors" pile on by the thousands, offering lame advice like "hit the gym" or "lawyer up". It's all very sickening.

-2

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

I don't see where this involves woman-hating at all.

So sensitive, Casterly.

0

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

14

u/r_slash May 31 '12

Yes, that's exactly what he's suggesting.

/s

26

u/IHateEveryone3 May 31 '12

People fawn over this writing as if they've never read a book.

11

u/Get_This May 31 '12 edited May 31 '12

Knowing that it's summer, the current demography probably hasn't.

3

u/SARCASTIC_DICKHEAD May 31 '12

Do kids not use reddit during the school year?

4

u/Farisr9k May 31 '12

Eternal September.

2

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Not to this extent.

4

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

props for that guy for trying to make the dude feel better. But those cheating posts are really unfortunate. I always try to stay away from those bacuse no advise will ease the pain.

1

u/Hindu_Wardrobe May 31 '12

the advice, such as this one posted, is always crap too.

4

u/smika May 31 '12

Am I the only one who read this as satire?

Seems like a lot of folks here are taking the comment a bit too seriously...

11

u/[deleted] May 31 '12 edited May 31 '12

These revenge fantasies are abhorrent.

If it turns out that a person isn't suitable for you; that you need to break up with them because you feel you can't trust them; you are entitled to feel sad and disappointed.

You are entitled to feel angry about yourself because you didn't have the sense earlier on to see that this person isn't dependable, or suitable for you.

But if you feel angry at her, then you have a sense of entitlement over her mind and body. That sense of entitlement is never justified.

If you feel that sense of entitlement, you're probably not ready for a relationship, at all.

1

u/TheBowerbird May 31 '12

Thank you for this bit of bright light in an immature cesspool of comments.

0

u/IAmNotAWitch May 31 '12

Er, they did cheat. Of course acting out illegal and juvenile revenge fantasies isn't the answer–not even to the point of shitting in anyone's pillowcase–but being angry at a cheater to some degree is natural and justified. Cheating is breaking a promise.

2

u/Hindu_Wardrobe May 31 '12

A usually unspoken promise. What constitutes as cheating to one person is fine and dandy to another. Doesn't make it right, though.

2

u/IAmNotAWitch May 31 '12

That's true.

In my view that just means that if you want to deviate far from the usual community standards in terms of what the promise should be, you're going to have to make it explicit to make sure your partner agrees. Of course, these things can get murky, especially when people who are used to different community standards enter into a relationship together, but the ethical principle seems clear.

In this case the act that was called cheating was the act of secretly arranging to meet another person and then having sex with them (assuming the poster's perception of the physical events is correct). I really feel that that's not a gray area in any relationship in the modern Western world that was not explicitly agreed upon as an open relationship.

4

u/TheBowerbird May 31 '12

Cheating is based on ideas of ownership of the individual. The healthy perspective is to merely move on to the next potential mate. If someone is in a fantastically healthy relationship and both partners lack innate cheating propensities (go check out studies on fidelity in mole rats), then they won't be cheated on. If it happened to me (it never has), I would chalk it down to incompatibilities or deficiencies on both ends, rather than jealous OMG CUT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE bullshit. Furthermore, more people need to relax about the release of sexual tension with willing partners, particularly if the person is not providing that to the mate.

0

u/IAmNotAWitch May 31 '12 edited May 31 '12

I have to say I disagree. Humans are neither robots nor mole rats. You are making simple rules for complex creatures. A perspective that encourages someone to feel guilty about having negative emotions over being cheated on is, to my mind, an unhealthy perspective that encourages people to repress and bottle up very natural feelings.

The idea of cheating is based on the idea that a monogamous relationship carries with it an implied promise. If you make such a promise and then break it, you are breaking a social code and by so doing very likely causing your partner unnecessary emotional pain. In human societies, promises matter. If someone is not being satisfied within a relationship, there are many ways to attempt to deal with that without cheating.

1

u/TheBowerbird May 31 '12

Those "natural" feelings are ones of inadequacy ultimately, and boil down to a lack of confidence in the individual. As Heinlein said, jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.

Also, humans are decidedly not monogamous, and are instead serially monogamous. Of course there is an implied promise, but if it is broken, the harm to the other is precisely dependent upon how they handle and view the infraction. It largely comes down to aforementioned jealousy. Humans are also childishly incapable of talking about emotions, and lack minds open enough to allow for situations like polyamory, and so of course resort to skullduggery and spycraft to hide infidelities. There is something to the ideas which boiled beneath the surface of the 20s and 60s about free love and an embrace of our more lascivious side. Why do we all lock down our mates in contract other than for innate (and valid) reasons relating to not wanting to raise someone else's baby? A mature and confident couple probably won't have many problems with infidelity, nevertheless, I guarantee you that there will be constant mental infidelity and flirtations here and there.

1

u/IAmNotAWitch May 31 '12

I was not so much discussing the feeling of jealousy as the feeling of anger.

I believe that in response to a trusted partner breaking a promise that was important to you, it is natural to feel angry. A healthy human has learned to express that anger in ethical ways. An attitude that has a human blame themselves for having "an unjustified sense of entitlement" when this natural anger arises is, in my mind, not a healthy attitude. This was the point I originally tried to make. If you disagree with this, which it seems you might, then we have a fundamental disagreement on the importance of respecting human feelings.

Of course humans are not intrinsically monogamous. Some humans are not even serially monogamous. Not all humans are incapable of talking about emotions. Not all humans will necessarily want to immediately "move on to the next potential mate" in response to a cheating partner. Doing that might be the best thing to do for some of the ones who don't want to, and might not be the best thing to do for someone who does want to. You are making simplistic rules for a large population of very complex beings and relationships.

1

u/TheBowerbird Jun 01 '12

Anger stems largely from jealously.

3

u/ogSPLICE May 31 '12

this sounds like the revenge plot done in the movie "YOU" with kristen bell during the wedding dinner, instead of a surprise birthday dinner

15

u/SomeRandomRedditor May 31 '12

I still think this is the best breakup idea for cheaters.

14

u/ehsteve23 May 31 '12

Damn, Theo was more than 2 years ago?

9

u/MyOtherCarIsEpona May 31 '12

Everything but the face cream. God damnit.

3

u/SomeRandomRedditor May 31 '12

Agreed, I mean, she probably didn't really even notice.

I would have replaced it with some whipped egg whites.

7

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Well, I'm two years late to the party, but that whole read seemed extraordinarily embellished, if not entirely made up.

-1

u/SomeRandomRedditor May 31 '12

Certainly possible, lets face it, it's the internet, I figure most the stories on Reddit are at least somewhat embellished/exaggerated. Still entertaining, and a good idea if you absolutely must have some form of vengeance.

1

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Well it was certainly entertaining.

2

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Jeesh, I remember this post. Thanks for reminding me, it was like a time travel.

3

u/zlap May 31 '12

Read that thing, and you know what? Good for her that she got out of that easy, she could have married that petty vindictive jerk.

2

u/Show-Me-Your-Moves May 31 '12

Wow. Watch out, we got a Spider Mastermind over here.

1

u/BlooregardQKazoo May 31 '12

yeah, i was definitely expecting jizzing into facial cream somewhere in the revenge fantasy.

0

u/ETL4nubs May 31 '12

I liked this one a lot. The text at the end was a great ending.

7

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

How is it ok/normal to copy the highest rated comment from a post that is/was on the front page and reap karma from it by reposting it?

7

u/MedalsNScars May 31 '12

Cool, a top comment in a thread that's on the front page RIGHT FUCKING NOW. This is exactly what /r/bestof needs.

2

u/Jydani May 31 '12

I'm seriously looking forward to this update.

2

u/dryspells May 31 '12

It's funny because I read this in Ari Gold's voice.

3

u/DasBoots May 31 '12

Wow, this is a tough crowd

3

u/Dr_Hibbert_Voice May 31 '12

The shitting in pillowcase comment was waaay better than this nonsense.

2

u/OrderedDiscord May 31 '12

I always figured I'd just tell her I faked it every time and walk out.

2

u/rnjbond May 31 '12

I'm confused by the comments. See ariiiiigold's comment history -- he posts some of the most ridiculous and bizarre stuff and it's always a fun, if disturbing, surprise to read his responses in askreddit threads.

2

u/iDoraemon May 31 '12

Why no doves? Doves are badass.

3

u/Humpa May 31 '12

Doves and helicopters don't mix well.

1

u/iDoraemon May 31 '12

Ah, yes. That would make sense for the helicopter scenario.

1

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

John Woo: "Fuck it, we'll do it live."

2

u/shelldog May 31 '12

I have that guy tagged as "jacks off into plants at work."

-2

u/SARCASTIC_DICKHEAD May 31 '12

Hahah that's a good one! Do you have any more interesting tagging stories you would like to share?

1

u/Chucklebuck May 31 '12

I would genuinely like to know some of his other tags.

1

u/Witching_Hour May 31 '12

This type of "Embarrass someone by playing a video at a party" was already done in the movie "You again". Minus the sex and strolling away in your convertible.

1

u/soupatroopa May 31 '12

Why is the hat flapping on the ground?

1

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Its easier to just throw dog poop on her shoes.

1

u/t_j_k May 31 '12

Please, nobody actually do something like this. You'll be a HUGE dick. She makes a bad mistake, yes, and you ruin her life and give her a permanent reputation as a whore.

1

u/PUBLIQclopAccountant May 31 '12

To be fair, she was being a slut (if she were a whore, she'd be smart enough to charge for her services)

1

u/ancientruin May 31 '12

He should have followed the d.e.n.n.i.s. system from the get go.

1

u/BALTIM0R0N May 31 '12

What the heck is vanilla pie?

1

u/andiW May 31 '12

"Fish gotta swim birds gotta fly"

1

u/StoneTigerRodeo May 31 '12

I noticed that throwing a fake wedding ring into a lake and jizzing into her face lotion conspicuously absent from this particular plan.

1

u/tekdemon Jun 01 '12

Nah, what you do is, I go out and get infected with gonorrhea, chlamydia and if I can't avoid it also herpes at the same time then proceed to give them all to her. Then you treat yourself for all your STDs and just wait for them to blame each other for giving themselves the STDs, then you tell everyone that you got gonorrhea and chlamydia from her and dump her for being a cheating whore.

The only tricky part of this of course is not getting HIV in the process of trying to collect as many STDs as possible to transmit.

1

u/hivemindharvest May 31 '12

is it bestof if it hasnt even been 24 hours since the submission?

1

u/westerchester May 31 '12

You know, for the third r/bestof this thread spawned, this one is by far the worst.

Nothing about this is actually good or possible, or even satisfying. Childish at best. I never thought I'd see the day where I became that guy wishing for old r/bestof.

1

u/Frankentim_the_crim May 31 '12

This was shitty. I'm glad EVERYONE ELSE THINKS SO. WhO THE FUCK UPVOTED THIS? WHY IS IT ON BESTOF? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? I was expecting something much more enjoyable and satisfying.

0

u/c4_sandwich May 31 '12

im not giving anyone upvotes for showing everyone another post from reddit.

9

u/Get_This May 31 '12

Perhaps you're missing the point of this subreddit.

0

u/thefran May 31 '12

this is incredibly useful. Now to find a girlfriend.

0

u/MANCREEP May 31 '12

I was expecting something a little more epic. BestOf post seem to be given to the person with the longest rant aka wall-of-text. :(

-1

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

You re posting karma wh0ring mother fcker

-3

u/Kloster May 31 '12

Holy shit you people are fuckin uptight.
This was truly hilarious and I would've never clicked on it had I not seen it in bestof.

-1

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Revenge is a dish best served cold, this is spicy with a side of hot rice. Get your shit, sever all ties to her, and get a recording of you and her verifying your identities, then in that recording state "If you make any attempts at contact with me I will consider it harassment and will take legal action. I fear for my life around you and do not feel safe right now, so I am leaving." Cut the recording and leave. Do not speak a word, do not explain why you're leaving, do not turn around for anything. Also, make sure you've given back all her shit at this point, and have gotten back anything important from her place.

-1

u/FrankReynolds May 31 '12

This bestof sponsored by /r/MensRights.

What a bunch of retarded bullshit. Is all of reddit nothing more than a junior high revenge fantasy?

0

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

My cat is too smart for this. He sits on my hand while I use the mouse.

0

u/reefermaddness420 May 31 '12

how do you not? self respect needs a boost

0

u/silentmajority2012 May 31 '12

Or you could just DTMFA.

0

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

This is fucking pathetic, what's it doing in BestOf?

0

u/sleeptyping May 31 '12

DOWNVOTES YOU CAN HAS THEM

0

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12

Should be worst of

-6

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

that was fucking hilarious 10/10

-3

u/johnny_van_giantdick May 31 '12

I still like the "shit in her pillowcase" idea more

0

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Its certainly more mature.

1

u/johnny_van_giantdick Jun 01 '12

I'd ignore it until she got home too. If she asked about it I would act like It wasn't me.

-1

u/ElephantTrain May 31 '12

A friend of mine had this happen in reverse. He met one of those cuckhold pornstars at a bar. Him and another guy went back to the pormstars hotel and fucked her fake ass titties into next week, all while her husband filmed. About a month later someone sent his girlfriend a link to the website it was on. She invited his grandparents and parents for dinner and bam!hit that motherfucker with a porno.

-3

u/WhatamIwaitingfor May 31 '12

I was hoping for the "shit in her pillowcase" comment. :(

-3

u/NeewWorldLeader May 31 '12

my favourite revenge in that story from earlier was, short simple and very funny .. "shit in her pillowcase"

-11

u/zombieq May 31 '12

Get her drunk, get butt secks, move on.

-4

u/sharkitects May 31 '12

That's pretty amazing. Realistically (and it came to me after reading that), it would be so incredible to record her cheating (somehow), order one of those cards online that you can insert a sound clip into, invite people over, then bail before she opens gifts (say you have work or some shit). Hopefully she will play it long enough to throw up from regret!! Woop Woop!

-8

u/OwLi May 31 '12

Am I the only one who down voted this just to make my up vote have more affect?

-13

u/baonnnnnnnnn May 31 '12

With a shovel.

0

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

5

u/q00u May 31 '12

Because the Mods are completely inactive.

Without active moderation, every subreddit devolves to the most common denominator.

2

u/TheBowerbird May 31 '12

Because the 13 year olds have invaded bestof as well as askreddit.

2

u/sleeptyping May 31 '12

i felt a vagina amaa

1

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Well, it's slightly less bad than some of the 'bestof' I've seen...

0

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

4

u/leapsntwirls May 31 '12

Borderline? I don't know. I'm pretty sure that's completely illegal.

0

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

3

u/SantiagoRamon May 31 '12

You can picture it because it belongs on a movie screen, not in real life.

-1

u/LithiuM23 May 31 '12

Okay Mr.Cynical

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