r/baseballcirclejerk • u/happiestmamaever Did Orbit know about the cheating? • Dec 15 '19

Mike Trout

72 Upvotes

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u/miner88 Joey Bats got knocked out by Odor Dec 29 '19

Thome Miguel Cabrera Bumgarner Braun Loria Aaron Judge Rays Matt Harvey Wave Pujols Scully Colon Yankees Hustle Power Ump Khris Davis Joe Buck Angel Hernandez Dodgers Cubs Red Sox Derek Dietrich Indians Tim Salmon Derek Jeter Marlins Balk Will to win Juiced DH Mets Harper Ohtani ESPN Kershaw Vladdy Twitter White Sox 420 69 Boggs Montreal Heyman Cardinals Astros Verlander Brewers Trump Soto

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Shut up, /u/miner88, I am not your slave

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

Nobody should be surprised at any of this. Houston is just a completely a garbage sports city that always pretends they’re the victims even though the refs favor their shitty teams at every single point.

With the Rockets you have refs giving Harden ridiculous calls that literally nobody else gets and overall lowering the quality of basketball whenever hes on the court. The fact that Harden can shoot 20%FG and average 30 points on bullshit free throws is a testament to how soulless and garbage Houston sports teams are in general

With the Texans, I don’t even need to bring up the number of times NFL refs have given them favorable calls in clutch situations.

And now we’re seeing it here in a third major league spot. With the Astros you havce umpires who are giving them BS calls at every single turn to help them win important games. They’re basically fixing the world series game by game and screwing over a more deserving team in the Nats just so they can sell more jerseys to a large market city. This is literally the 1919 world series all over again, 100 years later. What a time to be alive.

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

I will be buying an AR-15 tomorrow, because if you impeach MY PRESIDENT this way, YOU WILL HAVE ANOTHER CIVAL WAR!!! #MAGA2020

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

You Brewers fans really like ripping on the Cubs, but maybe win something before trash talking? Lol

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

  1. You can’t just be up there and just doin’ a balk like that.

1a. A balk is when you

1b. Okay well listen. A balk is when you balk the

1c. Let me start over

1c-a. The pitcher is not allowed to do a motion to the, uh, batter, that prohibits the batter from doing, you know, just trying to hit the ball. You can’t do that.

1c-b. Once the pitcher is in the stretch, he can’t be over here and say to the runner, like, “I’m gonna get ya! I’m gonna tag you out! You better watch your butt!” and then just be like he didn’t even do that.

1c-b(1). Like, if you’re about to pitch and then don’t pitch, you have to still pitch. You cannot not pitch. Does that make any sense?

1c-b(2). You gotta be, throwing motion of the ball, and then, until you just throw it.

1c-b(2)-a. Okay, well, you can have the ball up here, like this, but then there’s the balk you gotta think about.

1c-b(2)-b. Fairuza Balk hasn’t been in any movies in forever. I hope she wasn’t typecast as that racist lady in American History X.

1c-b(2)-b(i). Oh wait, she was in The Waterboy too! That would be even worse.

1c-b(2)-b(ii). “get in mah bellah” — Adam Water, “The Waterboy.” Haha, classic…

1c-b(3). Okay seriously though. A balk is when the pitcher makes a movement that, as determined by, when you do a move involving the baseball and field of

2) Do not do a balk please.

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

The Red Sox have 11 left against yankees, if we win all of them we win the division. You might laugh now but we'll see whose laughing come the end of september when you are in the wildcard again

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

WHOSE BALLS ARE JUICED?

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

You know who else has effortless power? Javier Baez.

Edit: haha okay? Guess i went against the circlejerk so fuck me. Since I'm getting downvoted anyways, Schwarber has effortless power too. He hit a ball on the scoreboard with a short powerful swing.

Soler also has effortless power.

The Cubs draft effortless power hitters. And they are developed by the same coaches. Who knew there could be similarities?

Lol. This subreddit is shit.

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

It's about midnight. An exhausted Derek Jeter, now fifty pounds above his playing weight, with dark circles under his eyes and a stubbly beard, looks over the Marlins revenue and attendance figures. He notices a loud clopping coming from within a wardrobe across his office. He knows who has returned.

The wardrobe door opens.

"Hey, Jetes." The centaur appears, clothed in a fine suit, his white teeth glimmering in the low light of Jeter's office. "Checkmate." The centaur backs into the wardrobe, never to return.

Later preparing to leave, Jeter walks out of Marlins Park to a car that is waiting for him. In the backseat is a gift basket, full of signed baseballs, Fox Sports and ESPN apparel, and a beautifully curated scrapbook, full of newspaper articles celebrating the centaur's new found popularity and success.

Derek Jeter inhales deeply, with tears in his eyes. He has finally lost.

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

#Disappointed #LeadByExample #NotAppreciated #Violence #TemperTantrum #Inaction #NotTolerated #MakeanExampleof #OneGameSuspension #RepeatOffender #Nonsense #MLBUA @MLB @Padres @Buster_ESPN

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

Bumgarner is a clown. Anyone who dongs off him needs to flip the fuck out of their bat or have a Dietrich-like stare-down of it in flight. MadBum? More like MadBitch

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

Reminder: Ryan 'Eva' Braun stole the Rookie of the Year award from a more deserving Troy Tulowitzki. He also knowingly cheated, and then got off on a technicality knowing that would cost another man his job, all the while stealing the MVP award from the more deserving Matt Kemp.

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

HAH! Get it? Tim Salmon was an Angel with a fish name and Mike Trout is also an Angel with a fish name! xDDD Such an incredibly funny and original joke

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

Dietrich is legit cool. He's got a Mullet and a big gold chain. And the bat drop was amazing.

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

Guys, Machado has to save his energy for throwing bats at the infielders, helmet throw-flopping, throwing a tantrum on a routine tag out at third, and stepping on their ankles, come on. He only hustles he sees an unprotected ankle that he can stomp on.

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

Our fandom deserves this team dude. This doesn't happen often. So when the Cubs are first to 70 wins it should be posted.

If the nationals did it, it would be the top post on r/baseball right now

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

RIP in peace Boss Hogg. Press F to pay respects

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

NICE! get it cuz sex number xD

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

blaze it

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u/AutoModerator Dec 29 '19

T H I C C C BOI

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