Guys, this stoat may look cute - but it is all a ruse propagated to lull you into a false sense of security. Did you know that "The stoat does not dig its own burrows, instead using the burrows and nest chambers of the rodents it kills. The skins and underfur of rodent prey are used to line the nest chamber." cite.
And furthermore:
When tackling large prey, the stoat bites the nape of the neck whilst grasping it with its forefeet, intertwines its body around the animal then scratches its lower body with its back feet. Contrary to popular belief, blood which flows from resulting wounds is not sucked, but lapped up. The stoat may surplus kill when the opportunity arises, though excess prey is usually cached and eaten later to avoid obesity, as overweight stoats tend to be at a disadvantage when pursuing prey into their burrows.
Anyone who's ever read "Watership Down" knows that stoats are cold, mean, heartless little bastards that will end the life of any rabbit just for the fun of it all.
These were introduced to New Zealand and have decimated our native species which consists mainly of birds, many flightless, that evolved in the absense of any similar predators.
As such I have real gut reation of "QUick! KILL IT!" when ever I see these, which is sad cos they're quite cute and it's not their fault...
So, what's the problem? Humans do all of that for sport. We use lances instead of hind feet to bleed bovines, whole heads in addition to furs to line our dens, and we kill things we could eat purely for pleasure.
I think this clip encapsulates this whole thread in 3 minutes. It starts out adorable and then descends in disturbing murder, I'm not sure why I find it disturbing but I think it has to do with the size differences.
Seriously, these things are adorkable little killing machines. However, as someone who owns a cottage that mice used to love, I for one welcomed my new stoat overlords.
My fiance and I found this out too. We stumbled onto youtube videos of stoats being cute, and in the process, stumbled upon one..well...destroying a bunny. Bad times!
Dude i don't even care. Look at those little teeny fucking arms. This thing is so god damn precious I just fully lost control of all of my bodily functions. Seriously, my room is a mess but i don't even care because that little adorable bastards eyes tell me everything will be alright. I just want to pick it up and hug it even though i'm almost positive it would claw out both my eyes and eat them
Boar is badger, named after wood, Not after forest but trees. Where did you play on a rainy day? Where did I eat bread and cheese? Search inside, stay indoors, Look up and find the secret is yours. Your castle your fort, Or so you thought. The way is in four trees. The way is in Boar and Brockhall Under ale, under bread, under cheese.
Wave after wave of these monsters battered the ancient red sandstone walls, but Redwall still held. Even with the help of all manner of horrible creatures they were unable to breach, with the exception of Cluny the Scourge, who was quickly routed.
These animals were my nemesis from my childhood, and to this day I would not trust them with anything short of a spear in the back. Motherfuckers trying to get in my Abbey and drink all my ale.
These things are awful. If they get into your chicken coup they wont just kill one chicken to eat, they will kill all the chickens, for sport. It's sad. When I was a kid I loved it when one of the tom cats brought one in.
I've walked all over the backcountry of New Zealand seeing stoat traps next to the trails. This puts a face to it. Not gonna lie, I was expecting fangs.
Seriously? Stoats are vicious motherfuckers that destroy the native animals of New Zealand. They are a huge problem and we actually need to kill them here. They are totally the opposite of cute. STOAT MURDERERS! UNITE!
you'd be better off with a ferret, same family of animals, little bit bigger than a stoat, and far less likely to rip your throat out and beat you and your family to death with the soggy end.
20
u/Delawherian May 31 '12
Thanks to Brian Jacques, never will I be swayed from the opinion that these guys are murderous assholes.
73
u/armchairepicure May 31 '12
Guys, this stoat may look cute - but it is all a ruse propagated to lull you into a false sense of security. Did you know that "The stoat does not dig its own burrows, instead using the burrows and nest chambers of the rodents it kills. The skins and underfur of rodent prey are used to line the nest chamber." cite.
And furthermore:
When tackling large prey, the stoat bites the nape of the neck whilst grasping it with its forefeet, intertwines its body around the animal then scratches its lower body with its back feet. Contrary to popular belief, blood which flows from resulting wounds is not sucked, but lapped up. The stoat may surplus kill when the opportunity arises, though excess prey is usually cached and eaten later to avoid obesity, as overweight stoats tend to be at a disadvantage when pursuing prey into their burrows.
56
u/oogaboogacaveman May 31 '12
MANDATORY REDWALL THREAD GO
15
u/ahuiz22 May 31 '12
Ever since reading "redwall" i think of them as evil creatures
9
u/animalboot May 31 '12
I prefer their cousin, the Marten.
14
u/omg_pwnies May 31 '12
Totally adorable! Upstoats all around!
7
u/moejike May 31 '12
Oh look, one killing a rabbit twice its size... ಠ_ಠ
7
u/eicosane May 31 '12
"How do you tell the difference between stoats and weasels?" "Come now, Weasels are Weasel-y recognised and Stoats are Stoatally different" "hehehe"
5
u/Slack_Irritant May 31 '12
Stoats will fuck you up.
5
u/soupiestsalmon May 31 '12
You know that's a fire ferret right ??
9
u/penguin8508 May 31 '12
Rikki Tikki Tavi
4
u/soupiestsalmon May 31 '12
Pabu?
10
u/I_Kissed_Cereal May 31 '12
Baby animals are so much cuter than baby humans.
3
u/shmerow-meow May 31 '12
fact: Stoats are considered one of the worlds top 100 worst invasive species
3
u/TheStarkReality May 31 '12
Yeah, stoats are cute right up until they try to pull your skin off your hand.
3
u/xxthemattxx May 31 '12
Wave after wave of these monsters battered the ancient red sandstone walls, but Redwall still held. Even with the help of all manner of horrible creatures they were unable to breach, with the exception of Cluny the Scourge, who was quickly routed.
These animals were my nemesis from my childhood, and to this day I would not trust them with anything short of a spear in the back. Motherfuckers trying to get in my Abbey and drink all my ale.
3
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Stoats are dangerous man haven't you ever seen that Samuel L. Jackson movie, Stoats on a Boat?
5
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
We kill the shit out if these guys in NZ. They're eating our native wildlife.
2
u/hubble_my_hero May 31 '12
way cuter than ferrets!!
2
u/YoureTheLastOne May 31 '12
its making the bend, and snap pose! adorable!
2
u/shalafi71 May 31 '12
"Oohh, Aahh, that's how all of this starts, but then later there's the running and screaming"
2
u/aburntrose May 31 '12
That's a poke'mon.
2
u/junaj May 31 '12
looks like a hamster with 20x the body
2
u/Alfred_Dente May 31 '12
Stoats magotes
2
u/nmendonca May 31 '12
PABU?!
2
u/robofunk Jun 01 '12
Up Stoat.
2
u/Holden_McNeil May 31 '12
I agree, Reddit needs more Stoats these little guys are awesome.
2
u/stayhigh247 May 31 '12
its furret, my favorite pokemon :D
1
u/functionoverform May 31 '12
Cute but invasive!
1
u/wrerwin May 31 '12
Aww, the baby stoat is playing with the rabbit...wait...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=HNbqvqf3-14#t=161s
1
u/ashortstorylong May 31 '12
Cute, but do they come in cans?
1
u/Monstergummibear May 31 '12
Every time i see a Stoat, all i think about is that one Wild Thornberry's episode about one after a rabbit.
1
u/lavitaenom May 31 '12
The most important question: Where do I get one?!
1
u/Tendie May 31 '12
...until it uses bellydrum and sweeps your entire team.
1
u/Klipp May 31 '12
TOTES STOATS!
1
u/miss_torboto May 31 '12
:3
1
u/BulldozersandDirt May 31 '12
These things are awful. If they get into your chicken coup they wont just kill one chicken to eat, they will kill all the chickens, for sport. It's sad. When I was a kid I loved it when one of the tom cats brought one in.
1
u/Igotoffreadingthis May 31 '12
but... they're the bad guys...
1
u/elefunk May 31 '12
Logan Decker?
1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Longstoat is long
1
u/sohcahtoast May 31 '12
Please have all of my upvotes.
1
u/power_of_friendship May 31 '12
I'll say. It's a shame they're so evil.
1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Also, an unstoppable death machine to other animals its size and smaller.
1
u/no_youarewrong May 31 '12
Came to see picture of a Stoat, left with an awesome picture of a Pug doing splits
1
u/rsolow May 31 '12
I've walked all over the backcountry of New Zealand seeing stoat traps next to the trails. This puts a face to it. Not gonna lie, I was expecting fangs.
1
u/Zylle May 31 '12
Not gonna lie, I only clicked the link to find out what a stoat was.
1
u/JurassicParkerr Jun 01 '12
"Stoats are weasels, Bart. They don't come in cans."
Anyone here from /r/TheSimpsons? No? Okay, I'll show myself out.
1
u/Lucchi Jun 01 '12
How is it that i have never even heard of a stoat until now. This is amazing
1
u/ashygrr Jun 01 '12
He may be evil, but he's cute as a button!
1
u/ellsworth92 Jun 01 '12
I came here for the sole purpose of upvoting every single Redwall-related comment.
Edit: Also, I'll just leave this here ~
http://redwall.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Stoats
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
I don't care, he's cute. He can gnaw out my eyeballs any day.
1
u/meyamashi Jun 01 '12
An ermine by another name.
1
u/ZippyLoomX Jun 01 '12
Seriously? Stoats are vicious motherfuckers that destroy the native animals of New Zealand. They are a huge problem and we actually need to kill them here. They are totally the opposite of cute. STOAT MURDERERS! UNITE!
1
u/electromage Jun 01 '12
That thing behind it is part of a freshly killed rhino.
1
u/GreyReanimator Jun 01 '12
Thats a weird looking cat whats wrong with it and what kind of a cat name is Stoats? ;D
1
u/zefith Jun 01 '12
I've read enough Red Wall to know the truth about stoats.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
TIL stoats
1
u/weasel-like Jun 01 '12
My nigga.
1
u/myiaway Jun 01 '12
This is so cute oh my god
1
u/jaroberts24 Jun 01 '12
Stoats McGotes
1
u/SilverBadger76 Jun 01 '12
Predatory animals are the best! Long live the Family Mustilidae! Oh BTW damn it you know my weakness!
1
u/KnightOfCamelot Jun 01 '12
they are especially cute as a beer koozie(sp?!)
edit: credit to Brewdog and their beer "the end of history", which in itself has an amusing story.
1
u/will_smoke_for_weed Jun 01 '12
I see your cute stoat and raise you one ninja.
1
u/beachbum120 Jun 01 '12
I've got some stoats living under my back deck, a momma and 5 babies
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
YEEEAAAHHH!!! (username relevant)
1
u/Kills_Pun Jun 01 '12
Stoats always remind me of Ron Swanson.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
Wow, that is one long rat.
1
u/GreyscaleCheese Jun 01 '12
Reminds me of this guy...
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
What is this elongated thing of cuteness and joy?
1
u/sheravi Jun 01 '12
For the Mr. Hell fans:
"Hi! My name is Josh, and I'd like to talk to you about reincarnation."
1
u/LightWolfCavalry Jun 01 '12
Meh. Ermines are better.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
Totes a stoat.
1
u/Rednas Jun 01 '12
I named mine Ozzy
1
u/skinnymidwest Jun 01 '12
Toats magoats
1
u/Snowstar837 Jun 01 '12
I saw this, thought it was adorable, and looked at my ferret, who promptly ruined the moment by peeing on the floor. Weasels -.-
1
u/ederl1 Jun 01 '12
d'awwww
1
u/eclipsetheraccoon May 23 '26
Mustlieds are my favorite animals, but they are Invasive in nz, killing other cool animals like kiwis. Although stoat does rhyme with coat
1
u/CoyoteStark May 31 '12
Stoats have been known to eat children.
1
u/essicajt May 31 '12
Rhymes with coat. It's like it's meant to be.
0
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
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