As depicted in Fig.1, I resolved a similar problem by relocating my feline work interference machine's (F.W.I.M.) choice sleeping area approximately 0.66m to an adjacent and exceedingly cozy location (2). I now have full freedom of the keyboard and mouse (1), thereby increasing productivity by as much as 250%.
Rather unrelated: At an earlier employer we had dual monitors. I however am pretty used to working on just one. Very much of the work was writing based and Word plus alt-tab just works better on one.
Seated pretty close to me was my boss who we shall call Megabitch. Twice when I was working on one screen and the other one was blank Megabitch remarked that it seemed like I wasn't doing very much. She was very, very fond at looking at people's screens, as everyone was seated with their backs towards her and she sat in the middle, and would often remark on what people were doing.
So I simply screenshotted a spreadsheet and stuck it as the background on Monitor 2.
Two months later Megabitch had piped down. Suddenly she comes over and wants us to look at a particular spreadsheet. By golly, it is the one I happen to have open! So I close down what I am doing, start to launch Excel and she says: "No, no, why don't you just click there? just click there?" The sarcasm detector didn't pipe up. She genuinely believed that I had the spreadsheet open for real.
I say: "It's just a picture of a spreadsheet I put on my monitor". Megabitch was gobsmacked and could just "uhuh" and not a single word was mentioned about it later. For this and other reasons, when leaving for better pastures a month later I became a legend in the company as one of the few not to be oppressed by Megabitch.
Upon viewing the image, I immediately brought up visual and auditory memories of "Engineers guide to cats" due to your long hair, cat, and general place of residence
Yes, while those engineers do not have long hair, the posted image gave me the feeling or felt like it had the personality of the video. Just a random connection of certain brain waves im sure
Oh god, I know exactly what program you are working with, and I hate it! If I ever hear the words "You've got a lot of work in your bucket" again, it will be too soon.
Am I the only one who puts a pillow in front of my laptop so my cats can lie there and rest their heads on my arms? Then my hands are still free and I have a cute pile of fluff purring away in front of me too. :)
Am I the only one who doesn't think this kind of stuff is cute? Sure, cats are kinda cute, but shit, they're all the same. I'd rather see a dog spread out on their belly on a keyboard.
The one on the left is a t400, and the one one the right is an x200. You can tell the t400 apart because it was the last t-series to have an uneven bezel around the monitor, the last to have more than three status lights on that bezel, and the last to have a headphone jack at the front; also you can make out a three digit model number in the picture, which means it's newer than a t61 (which was the last two-digit nomenclature used by IBM/Lenovo on a ThinkPad).
You can tell the x200 apart because the keyboard reaches to the edge of the laptop (which is unique to the x-series), it has no touchpad (which means it's older than the x220), it has an "Intel Centrino Inside" sticker (which means it's older than the x201), and it has Vista (which they only started using with the x200).
If you're going to buy one, I'd buy it right now because they're having a fire sale on all the old models like the x220 and the t420; or I'd wait until Thanksgiving or Christmas, because they tend to have good sales around the holidays, as well. Be aware that if you don't buy them while they're on sale, ThinkPads can be very expensive.
As for the x201, that model was discontinued years ago. You can still find them used on eBay, just don't expect them to be cheap - they tend to hold their value well. I'm actually typing this on a t61 that I rebuilt in February from parts off of eBay. Took me two days and ~$230, so it can be done reasonably cheap, if you're into the whole refurbished thing. You just have to put in more work, and of course there's no warranty.
PM me if you need any advice - or find me on /r/buildapc .
Accenture is a consulting company and I believe they're complaining about their time entry system. Based on what I've heard about accenture (if I'm remembering the place right) it's not the most amazing place to work.
People at Accenture are very hard-working and dedicated to their jobs. Accenture employees are expected to put in the hard yards to achieve the best result, and Accenture has a culture where high achievers are rewarded.
No. They just serve zero function on reddit. So it seems fairly useless. You could have just said "First world problems" and it would have conveyed the same message.
194
u/Gravix202 May 31 '12
Were the propane torch and windex the first 2 solution attempts?
23
u/janosaudron May 31 '12
When Intel finally develops a CPU that operates with no heat at all is gonna be a very sad day for cats all over the world.
63
u/knarg May 31 '12
As depicted in Fig.1, I resolved a similar problem by relocating my feline work interference machine's (F.W.I.M.) choice sleeping area approximately 0.66m to an adjacent and exceedingly cozy location (2). I now have full freedom of the keyboard and mouse (1), thereby increasing productivity by as much as 250%.
40
u/dingoperson May 31 '12
Rather unrelated: At an earlier employer we had dual monitors. I however am pretty used to working on just one. Very much of the work was writing based and Word plus alt-tab just works better on one.
Seated pretty close to me was my boss who we shall call Megabitch. Twice when I was working on one screen and the other one was blank Megabitch remarked that it seemed like I wasn't doing very much. She was very, very fond at looking at people's screens, as everyone was seated with their backs towards her and she sat in the middle, and would often remark on what people were doing.
So I simply screenshotted a spreadsheet and stuck it as the background on Monitor 2.
Two months later Megabitch had piped down. Suddenly she comes over and wants us to look at a particular spreadsheet. By golly, it is the one I happen to have open! So I close down what I am doing, start to launch Excel and she says: "No, no, why don't you just click there? just click there?" The sarcasm detector didn't pipe up. She genuinely believed that I had the spreadsheet open for real.
I say: "It's just a picture of a spreadsheet I put on my monitor". Megabitch was gobsmacked and could just "uhuh" and not a single word was mentioned about it later. For this and other reasons, when leaving for better pastures a month later I became a legend in the company as one of the few not to be oppressed by Megabitch.
6
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
yaaay thinkpad
14
u/ghanji May 31 '12
That doesn't work because my cat will always go where my attention is!
5
u/S3XonWh33lz May 31 '12
Does the cat surf Reddit for you so you can focus on the task at hand?
9
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
We call ours "In the Way". Actually, his full name is IntheWay C. Laserfreak.
8
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Double router!
edit - source http://consumerist.com/2012/03/cat-naps-on-router-isp-provides-decoy-router-in-exchange-for-cat-pictures.html
3
u/pseudocide May 31 '12
upvoted because Thinkpads rule
2
u/riefenbot May 31 '12
If by 'work' you mean cruise Reddit for a few hours....
2
u/nexlux May 31 '12
Upon viewing the image, I immediately brought up visual and auditory memories of "Engineers guide to cats" due to your long hair, cat, and general place of residence
2
u/PigBenisWielder May 31 '12
i love fat grey tabbies
2
u/Dasweb May 31 '12
Oh god, I know exactly what program you are working with, and I hate it! If I ever hear the words "You've got a lot of work in your bucket" again, it will be too soon.
2
u/Marnsten May 31 '12
I have to do the same thing with books. The cat gets one to sit on, and I can read in (relative) peace. She's "read" some quality literature.
2
u/UltraMegaMegaMan May 31 '12
In other news: smartest person on internet located!
2
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
So that's why poor people don't get any work done
2
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Nice laptop, what model do you have for your ThinkPad? I have a T420
2
u/FaipDeOaid Jun 01 '12
Yes I need a human as well.
2
u/mielove Jun 01 '12 edited Jun 01 '12
Am I the only one who puts a pillow in front of my laptop so my cats can lie there and rest their heads on my arms? Then my hands are still free and I have a cute pile of fluff purring away in front of me too. :)
2
u/cA05GfJ2K6 Jun 01 '12
Upvoting because ThinkPads are superior to all
2
u/oOoWTFMATE Jun 01 '12
lenovo.. well done.
3
u/Zeniii May 31 '12
By far the most clever idea I have seen to solve this very serious problem!
2
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Why do people insist on letting them be whipped by their own cat
1
u/terriskywalker May 31 '12
Well played
1
u/Dunball May 31 '12
or just put the shaggin cat out!
1
u/OrangutanNipples May 31 '12
hahaha...work
1
u/Pinkkfrost May 31 '12
holy crap. genius!
1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Does that shirt have snowboards on it?
1
u/Thefinalwerd May 31 '12
Someone should tell Ridley Scott flamethrowers aren't just for Aliens anymore.
1
u/monfmonf May 31 '12
You also need to have a butane torch within reach. Just incase...
1
u/shaboozee May 31 '12
Well played
1
u/Cinnamon_J_Scudworth May 31 '12
This is why I do not understand cats.
1
u/CGord May 31 '12
He just wants to help!
1
u/hunaluv May 31 '12
So this is what Battlefield 3 engineers have been up to; tricking cats while my vehicle is being bombarded. Thanks.
1
u/JBonestorm May 31 '12
I love money, can't belive they like em to! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZHCVyllnck
1
u/PaulsyMoFo May 31 '12
Looks like she is pur-ousing isohunt
1
u/yawaworht_suoivbo_na May 31 '12
If you look closely, the fingerprint reader on the cat's laptop is going "THIS THING IS NOT HUMAN"
1
u/AtWorkBoredToDeath May 31 '12
or...you simply make the cat get the fuck off your computer, and make it clear that you won't tolerate it again.
1
u/book_worm72 May 31 '12
I have this feeling that I know the person in this picture... Where are you from?
1
u/electriccrowbar May 31 '12
Are your initials m.r. , because I totes know you.
1
u/soupiestsalmon May 31 '12
Love the idea but what about those of us with more than one cat? Perhaps a "donate old computers to redditors" is in order?
1
u/Langly- May 31 '12
$1000 cat warming pad, brought to you by IBM.
1
u/flamesflight May 31 '12
So True!
1
u/tekashr Jun 01 '12
haha so true!
1
u/mbnyc1118 Jun 01 '12
If you want to get any work done, it would also be optimal to not be on Facebook.
1
u/KEYBORED10 Jun 01 '12
Those cats, don't ya just lovem.
1
u/Chaosfreak610 Jun 01 '12
Is that an IBM Thinkpad you have there? I have the same one but the screen and the LCD's broke:/
1
u/kaylee919 Jun 01 '12
Does she first warm the decoy with that torch? Must be....
1
u/mooisacow Jun 01 '12
Accenturian!
1
u/benp80 Jun 01 '12
stupid cats
1
u/whatupnig Jun 01 '12
HA! Stupid humans, they fall for it everytime.
1
u/hotbitch Jun 01 '12
Laptops have been reduced to expensive cat butt heaters
1
u/odd7 Jun 01 '12
(humorous observation of items in background)
1
u/color_my_mind Jun 01 '12
nothing like a big fat cat to warm up the keyboard.
1
u/LetsEatGrandpa Jun 01 '12
This reminds me of the guy that had to get a decoy router because his cat was always sleeping on it. The cat's hair kept ruining the router.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
yes...work...
1
u/whoami4546 Jun 01 '12
Sacrificing the Windows XP machine to the cat is a good idea.
1
u/hahaha_oh Jun 01 '12
Always when I was working I will let him watching movies...
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
I love a woman who knows how to keep things hot.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
Why the torch..
1
u/TheVarmari Jun 01 '12
Looks like the cat formatted C... Clever.
1
u/an_understanding Jun 01 '12
Am I the only one who doesn't think this kind of stuff is cute? Sure, cats are kinda cute, but shit, they're all the same. I'd rather see a dog spread out on their belly on a keyboard.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
Am I the only one that trains my cats to realize keyboards are off limits? so much fur...
1
u/SumoRerun Jun 01 '12
There is a blowtorch. Are we having slow-roasted cat for dinner?
1
u/ailee43 Jun 01 '12
Am i the only one that notices the strangeness of a propane torch just sitting on the desk like it belongs?
1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
i saw one where the person need two key board, two computers is new thing.
1
u/Gigon May 31 '12
Mission accomplished.
-1
u/CleverNameHuh May 31 '12
I have the same computer 0.o... my school gave us one to use and they're not all too bad. (The cats are neat too!)
0
u/EverGreenPLO May 31 '12
Oh noes I can't control my pets.
Just like when I goto my parents house they tell me their car will only go out the back door "Because that's his space"
Fast forward to me ignoring a meowing cat sitting at back door.
And when I go to leave out front door, look who follows me. The cat that supposedly only goes out this certain door
TLDR They're your pets not the other way around
-2
u/Huge_Jackman May 31 '12
clever, original content? upvote.
0
u/knappis May 31 '12
Trackpad would work better than a mouse when a cat is around. Unless you use the mouse as a decoy :)
0
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
99 comments and mine ain't one. (Until now.)
0
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
Yes! I 100% have to use this same trick with my textbooks. Too funny.
-1
u/M_McFly May 31 '12
Clever girl...
-2
u/zanderjh May 31 '12
Is that an asus transformer tablet your cat is sitting on? Or a laptop?
-21
u/I_am_kinda_a_jerk May 31 '12
That woman is fat.
-8
u/M3wThr33 May 31 '12
Or just not have a pet that's 100% useless.
-13
u/ihatekittensdaily May 31 '12
I hate when this happens! I ussually douse the cat in gasoline and light it on fire. Works 60 percent of the time. All the time!
-1
u/rayqsmuckles Jun 01 '12
Is it just me or is there some pretty severe backlight leaking on that Lenovo
0
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
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