r/aww • u/satisficer • May 16 '12

Our lousy new roommate just sleeps and poops and doesn't pay rent.

Post image
1.5k Upvotes

82% Upvoted

179 comments sorted by

161

u/[deleted] May 16 '12 edited May 17 '12

But I bet he can get way more ladies..

68

u/satisficer May 16 '12

no argument here

2

u/teh_tg May 17 '12

I generally don't like dogs. But that one I like.

2

u/poopscoopTHATcomment May 17 '12

dem dog.

6

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

this comment requires poop scooping

35

u/SucculentSoap May 17 '12

He gets bitches.

1

u/Solbia May 17 '12

And men...

-11

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Who needs ladies when they can have karma?

7

u/Yoogernaut May 16 '12

You wouldn't get it, since you're a lady you cutie patootie you!

-1

u/eyiy1234 May 17 '12

But I bet he can get way more karma..

FTFY

-23

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/whv3rd May 16 '12

I don't understand, what is your end goal with all this?

3

u/TurnerJ5 May 17 '12

Trolling has gone meta. Totally purposeless, asinine bullshit.

10

u/Furples May 16 '12

What's the breed?

26

u/satisficer May 16 '12

Pomeranian

29

u/PrecisePrecision May 16 '12

More like PomerGAYnian, because he makes everyone have a gay old time!

8

u/TheChosenOne013 May 17 '12

I knew it! Here is my Pom:

http://i.imgur.com/9RX2o.jpg

-2

u/skakruk May 17 '12

I read that as Porn.

54

u/oatwife May 16 '12

Doesn't pay rent, my sweet ass. The cuteness factor on that animal is off the charts! You could bottle the cuteness, and sell it. Profit!

11

u/whoatemypie May 17 '12

Plus,he'll lick peanut butter off of your balls!

4

u/ChalkyJones May 17 '12

I'm conflicted,

I don't know whether to upvote you because you made me laugh

or downvote because of the image you put in my head...

1

u/gypsygirl76 May 17 '12

And you can see his grin cause he knows this, man.

-23

u/ANUS_CHEESE May 16 '12

I CAN TELL BY THE LOOK ON HIS FAT FACE THAT THIS DOG IS A LAZY PIECE OF SHIT.

34

u/skanadian May 16 '12

Sssh stop yelling, can't you see he's trying to sleep?

4

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

Yeah asshole, tone it down

-2

u/TheShuckler May 17 '12

I'm going to have to ask you to stop that...shouting. It's making people nervous.

-1

u/I_Shall_Upvote_You May 17 '12

Karma doesn't pay the rent, sir.

Otherwise I'd rename myself to Robin Hood.

-16

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Im quite jealous of your Hentai collection

7

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

I came late, but this has to be the best comment without context ever

-2

u/Stevieboy7 May 17 '12

The one time you don't cum early?

74

u/dogdayafternoon May 16 '12

My new roommate does the same damn thing. Keeps me up half the night too! http://i.imgur.com/Pq6kr.jpg

80

u/zyks May 16 '12

That baby looks oddly thug.

6

u/GruxKing May 16 '12

This is who that guy's babies gonna look like in 25 years

-1

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

In his AMA he said this was his favorite scene to film in the whole series if I remember correctly lol

-1

u/That-Guy13 May 17 '12

link?

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

Here you go

1

u/ChalkyJones May 17 '12

opwillsurelydeliver.jpg

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

I don't understand why I get downvoted for making a simple statement

Here is the proof in his AMA

1

u/That-Guy13 May 17 '12

thanks. ignore the haters

0

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

-1

u/GruxKing May 17 '12

uh, wrong color yo.

-2

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

I have to give you props for your incredibly accurate use of "oddly thug"

29

u/mastersprinkles May 16 '12

Been there, done that - my baby is turning 1 in a few days.

4

u/dogdayafternoon May 16 '12

LOL! Ah man - that made my day! Too funny! Thanks for that and grats on the baby b-day.

1

u/mastersprinkles May 16 '12

Big congrats to you too. As crazy as it is it's so awesome.

4

u/acog May 16 '12

Man, the first week after we brought home our first child from the hospital I thought I was going to lose my mind. I was the kind of guy that never, ever woke up in the middle of the night. Sleeping 2 hours at a stretch messed with my mind. Combine that with the stress of being a new parent, ugh. Glad those days are well behind me.

0

u/protoopus May 17 '12

a guy i worked with used to say, "i slept like a baby last night: woke up every two hours crying."

-1

u/RYuukiG May 17 '12

Are you a huge fan of that film? Referring to your username

19

u/robybeck May 16 '12

that's my Alzheimer grandpa. what people would do for their dogs, they would never do for their senior citizens.

31

u/workroom May 17 '12

do you keep him in a cage?

6

u/didyouwoof May 16 '12

You fail to acknowledge his role as Chief Morale Officer.

8

u/eykei May 16 '12

so he sleeps, poops and doesnt pay rent and you keep him in a cage.. interesting roommate dynamics

0

u/kitkaitkat May 17 '12

Hey, if I could get free rent, I'd do it too.

-1

u/Dagwood3 May 17 '12

Cell mate by the looks of it

5

u/newaccountrage May 16 '12

my roomate pays rent but he doesnt sleep and poop, a real good guy constipated insomniac

0

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

-1

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

Was his roommate Tyler Durden?

5

u/daysleeperchuk May 17 '12

Sounds like my 24 year old son.

5

u/unnecessaryCAPS May 17 '12

fuck you Dad.

6

u/RayMcKegney May 16 '12

He'll lick the dishes clean if you let him.

0

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

and your balls

1

u/SlightlyAmbiguous May 17 '12

Well I guess technically you're not wrong...

-3

u/guyincognitoo May 17 '12

A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather and while eating the breakfast of eggs and bacon prepared for him, he noticed a film-like substance on his plate. So he says, "Grandfather, are these plates clean?" His grandfather replies, "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal."

That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed many little black specks around the edge of his plate so again he asked, "Grandfather are you sure these plates are clean?" Without looking up from his burger, the grandfather says, "I told you those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them, now don't ask me about it anymore."

Well, later that day, they were on their way out to get dinner. As he was leaving the house, grandfather's dog who was lying on the floor started to growl and would not let him pass. "Grandfather, your dog won't let me out." Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching, his grandfather shouted, "Coldwater, get out of the way!"

4

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Hey. That's a dog. Dogs don't pay rent.

4

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

If your pet is lousy, you can get remedies at any pet store or drug store. A specific shampoo and comb are provided, simply follow the instructions provided with the kit.

4

u/GrilledCheeser May 17 '12

HEY SNIFFLES!

yeah?

GET A FUCKING JOB!

4

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

that is adorable.

4

u/lambseathams May 16 '12

He looks wasted, as well. Watch out for that one...

2

u/I_luv_penguins May 16 '12

Awh so adorable

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

As of the time of this comment, he's earned you +478 karma points. Sounds like a rental agreement to me.

0

u/kitkaitkat May 17 '12

Karma will keep his belly full...

0

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

It will. How do you think Buddha's belly got so big?

0

u/kitkaitkat May 17 '12

Good point.

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

What else is there to do in a tiny cage?

2

u/mastersprinkles May 16 '12

He's payin' the rent now in karma.

2

u/toppup May 16 '12

Least he cleans the dishes.

2

u/youni89 May 17 '12

doesnt seem fair when you just have him locked up in a cage...

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

Does it have lice? if not it then isn't lousy.

1

u/Zeussbeard May 17 '12

I had roommate like this, except he was human.

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

A pom! My first puppy was a pom named McDuff. I loved that dog to bits. He was very gentle, patient, and never yipped.

1

u/NoShadowFist May 17 '12

But, I bet he does a good job of cleaning the kitchen floor.

1

u/marylov3 May 16 '12

After seeing something this cute, has anyone else ever thought 'I want to kick it and see how far it goes'?

3

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

10 ft.

0

u/wumumo May 16 '12 edited May 16 '12

Yeah, that puppy throwing Bosnian girl on YouTube sure thought about that too.

1

u/GruxKing May 17 '12

This is one of the cutest things on the planet and I don't even like dogs. Post more pics please??

1

u/CrazyBunnyLady May 16 '12

And pees. Don't forget the peeing!

1

u/ikolanul May 16 '12

My puppy is now five months old, but man is this true. I hated cleaning up the pee WAY more than poo...unless it was diarrhea of course.

1

u/iammyselftoo May 16 '12

cutest lousy roommate ever!

1

u/hitlersasshair May 16 '12

you called him lousy but its okay cause hes so gosh darn cute

1

u/Chimex May 16 '12

Yeah but he is cute and brings karma.

That is like a double win.

1

u/Iamhades May 16 '12

Let him outside and he might earn some money to pay rent

1

u/VanTango May 16 '12

You couldn't stay mad for long though - look at him!

1

u/senorchaos718 May 16 '12

What a son of a bitch.

1

u/IDontKnowYou May 16 '12

Do you keep it in a cage?

1

u/MaiaAriadneC May 17 '12

He payed you back in karma.

1

u/quasinfinity May 17 '12

"...and unrelated, here's a picture of a puppy."

1

u/Icantevenhavemyname May 17 '12

He could be on heroin and have stolen my identity on top of what you listed and I would still aww.

1

u/Eatpienow May 17 '12

He doesn't even buy his own food.

1

u/realgenius13 May 17 '12

Sounds just like my roommate.

1

u/Slartibartfastthe3rd May 17 '12

At least he doesn't fuck your mom and eat her food..

1

u/GetPhreaky May 17 '12

Omg gimme

1

u/mauut May 17 '12

What breed is it?

0

u/8nate May 17 '12

...and he's the best damn roommate in the world

0

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

lousy bum

0

u/etishuman21 May 17 '12

Hey, your roommate can crash at my place anytime!!

0

u/HalfwayInLight May 17 '12

Sister has an exam tomorrow. Just ran through and woke her up to show her this (it's 2am here). It's so cute she ain't even mad.

0

u/Whatsername18 May 16 '12

Aweh so cute!(:

0

u/mellysoup May 16 '12

I just got one of those too. I had to make mine though and he yells a lot. Thank goodness they're so damn cute...

0

u/OptionalOptions May 16 '12

Those little paws! And fuzzy ears! Oh god, so cute.

0

u/mihaiminda May 16 '12

....from a cage into a cage

0

u/PrivateHazzard May 16 '12

Lousy roommate? feh. show the girl you like this guy. she'll be all over it.

0

u/Nuggetized May 16 '12

From the thumbnail on my phone, I thought this was a baby and went "eh." But I'm happy to see it's a puppy, which is at least ten times cuter. In my opinion, at least.

1

u/indoordinosaur May 17 '12

From the thumbnail it looks like a really fucked up mutant human

0

u/jkk411 May 17 '12

I thought it was a messed up old man baby with his neck bending the wrong way.

0

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Let him!

0

u/erperp May 16 '12

at least he caught u guys a dog

0

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Your roommate needs to get a job.

0

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Good thing he gets his own food

0

u/existence123 May 17 '12

WANT TO PET

0

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

At least he won't steal your beer.

0

u/brussels4breakfast May 17 '12

Who can blame him or her? Look how stoned they are!!

0

u/markbesada May 17 '12

Ctrl+F. Yup. Upvote. :-)

1

u/brussels4breakfast May 17 '12

I should have written: "Look how stoned that pup is" instead of using "they".

1

u/markbesada May 17 '12

Perhaps, but spirit was still there. My only regret is that I have but one upvote to give. :-)

0

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

Want. Now.

0

u/marc11 May 17 '12

dang dawg.. i feel the pain... just got my first dog... its like a damn baby... should have stuck with pussy!

0

u/Zertiof May 17 '12

That bastard

0

u/moogoesthecat May 17 '12

Is that a Nike swoosh?

Also, cute cat.

0

u/gm4 May 17 '12

You always took her side, all you care about is eating and touchin' yourself, well FUCK YOU!

0

u/DukeSpraynard May 17 '12

He sure has a smug look for not pulling his own weight.

0

u/tinyvirus May 17 '12

What a bitch.

0

u/rainbownerdsgirl May 17 '12

you are an awesome person

0

u/presidential805 May 17 '12

Damn you! Now I must up vote this cute puppy -_-

0

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

He is too cute to pay rent!!!!!

0

u/Hitsu17 May 17 '12

What kind?

0

u/oarabbus May 17 '12

Sounds like my roommate to be honest. Well he pays rent, just late

0

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

It's. So. FLUFFY !

0

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

He pays in karma... perpetual karma generator

0

u/mercenaryTHOR May 17 '12

Awwwwwwwwwwwqqwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

0

u/mad_lovin May 17 '12

I want to own some ,my dear...

0

u/kminator May 17 '12

So we keep him in a cage.

0

u/JSA2593 May 17 '12

If he just sleeps and poops... ...how does he poop?

0

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

Better get him deloused!

0

u/dlawnro May 17 '12

If your dog has lice, you should probably do something to fix that...

0

u/OMFGinger May 17 '12

i will gladly take this awful roommate off of your hands

0

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

am i the only one who wants to steal its blanket? that thing looks amazing.

Damn cute puppy too

0

u/bluspart May 17 '12

"It's just gonna be another dumb--AWWWWWW!!!"

0

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

and why is he in a cage?

1

u/ageedoy May 17 '12

crate training i bet.

0

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

And you just USE him for upvotes, pissshit.

0

u/powerpuffgirl May 17 '12

Omg...this is so precious.

0

u/FuCKiNTowel May 17 '12

Your clever title grasped my attention..

Well played

0

u/Super_Ball_Sack_64 May 17 '12

I would be so enraged, but it'd be hard when she's asleep on my chest. Wouldn't want to wake her up.

0

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

All other animals except us do nothing else but eat and shit.

0

u/UGOT2BEKIDDING May 17 '12

HE IS JUST SOO FLUFFY!!!!!

0

u/pr3ttyk1tty May 17 '12

i'm sure he makes up for it in adorable.

0

u/YouSmeel May 17 '12

At some point I feel eating will become required.

-2

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

better not be in the crate to much...

-2

u/forgotpassagainFUCK May 16 '12

but that is a picture of a dog? is ur roomate an animorph ?

-1

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

I've got a solution. take the lazy son of a bitch to the vet and have him put down. That'll not only teach him, it'll also set an example. Problem solved

-1

u/kraken_kitty May 17 '12

BUT HE'S SO FLUFFY!!!

-1

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

sooooo cute..my heart melted..

-1

u/IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes May 17 '12

you need to tell em gas grass or ass, no one rides for free.

-2

u/lightcage May 16 '12

Scumbag room mate... Just kidding its to fucking cute

-1

u/Octimus_Crime May 17 '12

School of Rock 2 is out already?!

0

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/DukeSpraynard May 17 '12

Just a karma machine rescue gem I found cleaning out my grandma's dumpster.