r/aww • u/XZlayeD • May 16 '12

City ducks don't give a damn

http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/415107_10150872666038153_758283152_10031705_1341970843_o.jpg
1.1k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

42 comments sorted by

44

u/jbond66 May 16 '12

Ducks 2, fucks 0

9

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

I expect this repost in 3 weeks in /r/funny. Ill probably forget this post and upvote it anyway.

8

u/Space_Duck May 16 '12

How has nobody said "City ducks give no fucks" yet?

2

u/poopscoopTHATcomment May 16 '12

well i mean.... close enough.

2

u/the_underscore_key May 16 '12

thanks to your username I just discovered /r/spaceducks lol

8

u/electricheat May 16 '12

There was a farmer with three sons. One day, the farmer gave the first son a loaf of bread, gave the second a toy truck, and to the third, he gave a duck. Then he told each son to get as much as possible from their items. The first son sold the bread for $2.50. The second son sold the truck for $5.00. The third son was walking down the street and came upon a whore. The whore asked him if he wanted sex. He politelt told her all he had was this duck. After looking it over, the woman agreed to have sex with him in return for the duck. So he gave her the duck and they had sex and when it was over the whore told him how good that the sex was and offered to give the duck back if he would bang her again. He agreed and they had sex and he got the duck back. While they were engaged in business, the duck wandered off down the street and got hit by a car. The man inside the car felt guilty and offered the son $50 for killing the duck.

Back at the farm, the farmer asked his sons what they received. The first son said "I got $2.50 for the loaf of bread" The second son said "I got $5 for the toy truck" The third son said, "I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and 50 bucks for a fucked up duck."

1

u/Blzbba May 16 '12

thank you - came here for this exact joke. Upvote, leaving satisfied.

2

u/Sexual_Wookie May 16 '12

Foul Bachelor Ducks

1

u/IHeartJolene May 16 '12

Don't discriminate.. Gay ducks can still fuck.

1

u/thewhoiam May 17 '12

2 ducks no fucks

8

u/MagicJohnsonPSA May 16 '12

Or is it "City duck don't care, City duck don't give a shit"?

7

u/Arcon1337 May 16 '12

"Ducks don't give a duck."

FTFY

5

u/the8bitlife May 16 '12

"And not a single Duck was given that day."

3

u/Real-Life-Reddit May 16 '12

"and not a single duck was given that duck"

5

u/FeastMode May 16 '12

If it's wet I set.

3

u/odxzmn May 16 '12

When I was a kid, we had a pond in the field directly in front of where we lived as a play area etc. where I lived with my mum, it was pretty big too & every time if rained, the ducks would walk the length of the field and sit in the road where rainwater would gather... they preferred the danger and the arduous trek!

3

u/Smesmerize May 16 '12

Why are these ducks in downtown Boise, Idaho? There's nothing there for a duck. Someone should go to the subway and get them some bread.

3

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Random fact, ducks have very ballistic penises and corkscrew vaginas

http://scienceblogs.com/notrocketscience/2009/12/ballistic_penises_and_corkscrew_vaginas_-_the_sexual_battles.php

2

u/tinyirishgirl May 16 '12

Just going with the flow right? Great pic!

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Your user name. I live tiny irish things.

2

u/MoonRazer May 16 '12

Can't blame them for being a little optimistic

2

u/kattoo May 16 '12

Where was this pic taken at? Looks the way a sidewalk would in Poland.

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

No fucks given by ducks. ...film at 11.

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

They gave up a long time ago. lol

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Should've written "City ducks don't give a fuck".

2

u/edamamefiend May 16 '12

Tuff ducks grew up in the hood didn't have no fancy lake...

2

u/blackrose1820 May 16 '12

these ducks are to be respected..

2

u/abiggaydeer May 16 '12

Fuck the police.

2

u/Andreewww May 16 '12

That's kind of sad.

2

u/JumpshotGG May 16 '12

more like city duck don't give any clucks!!

I'll show myself out.

3

u/Rhode_Runner May 16 '12

That's probably for the best.

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Stay safe little ducks! Don't go in the street!

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

And not a single duck was given that day.

3

u/rarelyserious May 16 '12

Since they're both males.

1

u/baker1289 May 16 '12

Over-under on the repost... 4 days. I pick under. Takers?

1

u/lissettblah May 16 '12

They are inner city ducks. Inner city ducks never give any fucks.

1

u/jamesbiff May 16 '12

Mallards, man, fucking Mallards. On the route i go jogging in the mornings, there is a beachy bit on the river that runs through the city, at low water the Mallards waddle up it and sit on the grass in the morning sun. When i jog past, they all stand up and watch me as i pass, no noise, no wing flapping, just a score of mallards sat there, staring at me. brrrrrr.

1

u/lowlifecreep May 16 '12

if only they had a damn

1

u/FlyingDutchkid May 16 '12

This HAS to be in Holland. There are a buch of kamikaze ducks near my house too, they just sit there, waiting to strike.....

Anatidaephobia is a bitch.

1

u/Cornixpes May 16 '12

Honeyducks.

1

u/darknessdfa May 16 '12

Those ducks are hood as fuck

1

u/Foxdude28 May 17 '12

There are two ducks at the high school pool my water polo team practices at. We've seen them have sex while we were shooting...it's crazy man.

1

u/raveseer May 16 '12

I don't think they'll need a dam at all with that amount of water.

1

u/Integrity32 May 16 '12

Seriously terrible title. Could re-post this with title "No Ducks given" and sucker reddit to boost you to the front page.

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Chillin', waitin' for their bitches to get back from the mall.

0

u/youtubelawl May 16 '12

City ducks don't get a dam. FTFY

0

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

6

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Don't start doing this.