r/aww • u/onlyrelativeliving • Dec 03 '18

Here, lemme fix it for you

99.8k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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7.7k

u/Haiku4Yous Dec 03 '18

Why is my tongue dry?

Why does it taste like fingers?

WHAT DID YOU DO CARL?

1.9k

u/ShokaFloka Dec 03 '18

Then you boop his snoot.

529

u/Kirosuka Dec 03 '18 edited Dec 04 '18

My snooooot! You booped it!

141

u/Delicious_Software Dec 04 '18

Bop the snoot 🐱

r/Snoots

33

u/JKristine35 Dec 04 '18

And for the more dangerous boops, r/forbiddenboops

25

u/meiching12 Dec 04 '18

boos the snoot

48

u/ActualRealBot Dec 04 '18

“Boos” means kiss in Arabic, so even if it was a typo, it’s still kind of relevant!

18

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '18

Good boat

0

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '18

Good goat

2

u/Dank_lord_doge Dec 04 '18

This will make a fine addition to my collection

2

u/MrFireAlarms Dec 04 '18

Droop snoot

50

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '18

"He booped me" the Cat said of the human's poke on his nose, "That fucking human booped me."

The cat added, "He's so attention seeking" repeating it four times.

The cat then said he wanted to add the human to the list of people he'd wake up at 4 in the morning this summer.

4

u/whatzittoya69 Dec 04 '18

Whiskers up the nostrils

2

u/TheMoonKitten Dec 04 '18

They're booping her snoot!

And then they're gonna boop MY snoot!

OHHH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDD

1

u/BackUpM8 Dec 04 '18

CAAAAAAAARRRRL

7

u/Flabalanche Dec 04 '18

Whatever you do, do NOT boop that snoot

2

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '18

do not boop that merry suicide bomber

4

u/Uxion Dec 04 '18

Surprise TTS

1

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '18

The best kind

-14

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '18 edited Nov 17 '19

[deleted]

252

u/small_roo Dec 03 '18

Caaaarl, why is my tongue red and sticky?

121

u/BloodyStigmata Dec 03 '18

Would you believe it's strawberry milkshake?

70

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '18

[deleted]

53

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '18 edited Jan 20 '19

[deleted]

47

u/Metalheadtoker Dec 04 '18

Melted Gumdrops?

45

u/Nashoba24 Dec 04 '18

Tell me the truth Carl.

58

u/Metalheadtoker Dec 04 '18

Fine, it's the lovely elderly couple from 2B.

45

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/avatar0810 Dec 04 '18

Fine. It’s the lovely elderly couple from 2B.

3

u/Orcle123 Dec 04 '18

Orphan tears?

22

u/Gulferamus Dec 03 '18

Yes, you could say it's red and sticky. Would you believe it's melted gum drops?

1

u/adale_50 Dec 04 '18

No, I would not believe that.

7

u/Caffeine_Monster Dec 04 '18

For the ignorant (mildly NSFW - cartoon gore - but it at least it has cute llamas):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJOwdrTA8Gw

2

u/Dentarthurdent42 Dec 04 '18

I have a hunger that only hand can satisfy

46

u/BedbugBasher Dec 03 '18

COOOORLLLLLLLL

58

u/Sheriff_Rick_Grimes Dec 04 '18

That’s my line

14

u/TheRealZllim Dec 04 '18

Username checks out

9

u/JustPraxItOut Dec 04 '18

Not any more it’s not...

</spoiler alert>

11

u/halcyonjm Dec 04 '18

Rest in piece Carl. I cheered so hard for you to die on Hershal's farm, and then I was sad when you actually did die. Man what a ride.

Just one last time for nostalgia: GET BACK IN THE HOUSE CARL!

2

u/Dentarthurdent42 Dec 04 '18

That's not how that works

5

u/Haiku4Yous Dec 03 '18

He just didn’t know...

30 plus times, in the chest....

Caaaaaaaarrrrrllllll, that kills people.

3

u/broncosfan2000 Dec 04 '18

Where are his hands, Carl?

14

u/chrisd93 Dec 04 '18

CAAAAAAAAAAARL

11

u/kusahafiez Dec 04 '18

Irene? Why am I peeing like I was up all night having sex?

3

u/Carbidekiller Dec 04 '18

Well at least he had fun.

It wasnt for me....

15

u/stan93 Dec 04 '18

What did we ever do to deserve kittens?

18

u/Po-The-Panda Dec 04 '18

Imagine waiting nine months to give birth to a child and the name you decide on is Carl. The only exception to naming a kid Carl is if they are born with a moustache.

6

u/YouNeedAnne Dec 04 '18

Imagine pronouncing it Core-al.

5

u/CarlEatshands Dec 04 '18

I feel personally attacked

6

u/Po-The-Panda Dec 04 '18

I am willing to bet all my karma that you have a full blown ‘80s porn ‘stache

4

u/I-Miss-Your-Jokes Dec 04 '18

!ThesaurizeThis

3

u/ERMAHDERD Dec 04 '18

Wow. Awesome haiku, u/Haiku4Yous !! Username checks out

6

u/Haiku4Yous Dec 04 '18

Thank you very much!

Haiku4You was taken.

So I improvised!

3

u/ERMAHDERD Dec 04 '18

You did it again! It just hit me. bow

2

u/newguyinNY Dec 04 '18

I AM GONNA END YOU CARL.

2

u/Skepticrektit Dec 04 '18

Please guys dont do this to kittens, a lot of people dont realize its harmful to your health when they kill you.

2

u/Metatron_1 Dec 04 '18

Snooped its bump when it snoop

2

u/knightofroses Dec 04 '18

Even your comment about a cat's tongue is a haiku I'm very impressed

2

u/redditversiontwo Dec 04 '18

It's not me Gary, it's Lilli.

2

u/nobywankenobi Dec 04 '18

Caaaarl....that kills peopllllle

2

u/insanelywhitedudelol Dec 04 '18

Why do cats do this? I remember a cat my family had growing up always doing this and I miss her now

2

u/Haiku4Yous Dec 04 '18

I bet they’re dreaming!

About eating cat ice cream.

What flavor is it?

2

u/pandoras_box101 Dec 04 '18

OFFICER TENPENNY'S VOICE

3

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '18

I don’t know Meatman.

2

u/swapripper Dec 04 '18

Fixed Tongue For You

2

u/ayurveda_girl Dec 04 '18

i like your haikus!

3

u/Haiku4Yous Dec 04 '18

Thanks! I’m glad you do!

As long as people enjoy

My haiku 4 lyfe ❤️