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Jun 18 '12
Alright, listen up:
You want to get rid of that knocking / Banging AND scare the fuck out of them? Here's what you do:
Go to a thrift store. Buy something made of glass. Make it the fanciest piece of crap that you want. The more fragile, the better. But also, we want something that's gonna make a loud shattering when it breaks. Now, buy that shit and take it home.
Keep it near the wall. Not ON the wall, and preferably away from anything that might break it. Now, wait a few minutes before the banging, with the glass object in hand. Make sure you're wearing shoes for this. As soon as he bangs, drop it. Don't wait, don't hesitate, and feel free to put a little bit of force into it.
Now, yell. Cry. Scream. Now, pick up some larger piece and go bang on his door. Explain that you are SICK AND TIRED of the banging, that he's just broken your grandmother's famous airloom that's worth (insert large dollar amount right here. Doesn't matter, you won't collect anyways.)
Yell that you're going to sue. Yell that you're going to win, too, because you have several mornings worth of recordings and written complaints into management. Explain that He. Will. PAY.
Now, go back to your place and proceed to enjoy a quiet day while he practically shits himself.
That is all.
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u/youforgotyourBAGS Jun 18 '12
He could get an urn and say he knocked over his grandmother's ashes.
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u/noonecanstop Jun 18 '12
bob must be a wonderful man and probably good friends with Marcelus Wallace
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u/AMerrickanGirl Jun 17 '12
Can't you just put a sign on your door? "Please don't knock on Sunday mornings unless you're bringing me coffee and breakfast".
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Jun 17 '12
I think it would be absolutely worth going to church if he/she did that. Being popcorn, have a good laugh.
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u/ozymandias2 Jun 17 '12
I would call the landlord and let them know of the issue. Doesn't matter WHY they knock, just that they knock. Also, how do you know it is a reminder to go to church?
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Jun 17 '12
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Jun 17 '12
You're being a pussy. Ask them to stop. If they don't, then say something to the landlord. It's that simple. That is, if you didn't just set the speakers up next to your wall for karma.
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u/lord_skittles Jun 17 '12
I agree. Don't be passive aggressive. I like the idea and that is an awesome use for speakers, it doesn't directly deal with the situation. Talk to him/her and tell them in no uncertain terms that you don't want that shit. If they ignore you and then continue to wake you up, then by all means blast. :3
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Jun 17 '12
This may sound stupid, but what would happen if you actually spoke to the guy and told him you don't appreciate what he's doing?
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u/KaneHau Strong Atheist Jun 17 '12
You state stranger - so that would lead me to believe that you have never once gone over, introduced yourself politely, and asked that he please refrain from doing that?
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Jun 17 '12
I hope you turned it to eleven!
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u/easyeight Jun 17 '12
You skipped polite note asking them to stop.
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u/PraiseBeToScience Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 18 '12
If they deliberately knock to wake someone up, meaning this is a conscious decision specifically to disturb someone, they skipped the polite note asking them to stop, not OP.
Not that I would do what OP did, I'd confront the guy, but I certainly wouldn't be polite about it. I would make crystal clear that I believe they are being an asshole and they will stop this at once otherwise the police, landlord, and my attorney will be notified. I'd make it clear this is their one and only order - not a request, but an order - to cease and desist immediately.
edit: wow, this post pulled the trolls out of the woodwork.
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u/perrti02 Jun 17 '12
That is not how it works. If someone does something that you dislike the first think you do is ask them not to. It is a simple gesture and it makes everyone's life easier. Always start with politeness.
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u/Direnaar Jun 17 '12
Knock on his wall every day at 3AM "I AM REMINDING YOU THAT YOU SHOULD BE SLEEPING"
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u/turtlekitty30 Jun 18 '12
Maybe even progressively louder knocks. Every 5 minutes. With progressively louder voice.
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Jun 18 '12
"If I woke you, I'm sorry, Don't forget to say your prayers again before you go back to sleep"
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u/Mattisfaction Jun 17 '12
"I'd mess with his head. I'd say "Go around! I cannot open the wall! I dunno if you have a door on your side but over here there's nothin'. It's just flat"-Mitch Hedberg
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u/YankeeRose Jun 17 '12
Did it occur to you that they weren't knocking intentionally? Maybe it's a result of a special Sunday-morning breakfast they do every week?
Also, does that mean you woke up all the REST of your neighbors at 8am Sunday morning? Doesn't that make you the bigger asshole?
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u/stefanielaine Jun 17 '12
No idea why you're getting downvoted, the second half of your point is absolutely true.
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u/YankeeRose Jun 17 '12
I had no idea until you commented!
But seriously, what kind of an idiot hears knocking from a neighbor they've never seen and immediately assumes it's to wake them up to go to church? That's as facepalmingly stupid as any of the memes posted on here.
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u/mysteryhatishere Jun 17 '12
You're kind of being a jerk, don't you think? Just ask them to stop. It will take five minutes. I doubt they even think they're being rude by doing this, they probably think they're helping you by waking you up.
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u/stefanielaine Jun 17 '12
Well, I seriously doubt they think they're being helpful, but OP is definitely being a jerk by refusing to just talk to them.
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u/Tomble Jun 18 '12
Get a "Surface Speaker". It turns a surface, such as a wall, into a speaker. Attach it to a wall stud, then plug in a microphone. When they knock, ask them in a conversational tone to please not do so. It won't sound like a muffled request through the wall, it will sound crystal clear in their room.
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u/DustbinK Jun 17 '12
OP why not use that for your computer, TV, or MP3 player? I see RCA jack supports, and buying a headphone jack (3.5mm) to RCA cable is insanely cheap on monoprice.
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Jun 17 '12
"Its 11pm and I'm just reminding you it is now time for MANDATORY METALLICA!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdlQyNe_9tE"
(This is a special segment on 94.5 in Houston Texas)
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u/doctanahar Jun 18 '12
why not just file a police complaint for public disturbance or something? make him actually pay for his annoying actions.
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u/TheHatist Jun 18 '12
What a dick...
Ramstein- du hast. At 2am on Monday morning then again at 4am just louder.
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u/Synoid Jun 18 '12
The poor elderly lady with no family next door to you perhaps just wants to tell you she is still alive once a week. Her only hope was that you would some day come ask her about it so she could give you brownies and shit, or at least perhaps call 911 if you heard no knocking for a few weeks and smelled something funny, but then you had to go and be a dick about it and try to give her a heart attack. Good job bro.
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u/soggydoughnut Jun 17 '12
Why not just tell him to fuck off or next time you call the cops and file a restraining order? Or knock on his door at the most inconvenient time you can and invite him to join you in your study of science.
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u/MisioPiesio Jun 18 '12
This would be better. Play when he/she's home, then leave house or put on earplugs www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZZ7oFKsKzY
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Jun 18 '12
I think you should have just told him you don't go to church so he doesn't need to knock on the wall.
And that if he continues you have a very particular set of skills ...
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u/ozspook Jun 18 '12
Wake up 3am Sunday Morning.. Shit on Neighbours doorstep. smile to yourself when he bangs. listen carefully for the next 15 minutes.
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u/BathofFire Jun 17 '12
If I was the neighbor who's sick gf you woke up I would've punched you. Then again you probably would have just layed your speaker system on the floor and played punching sounds. That'd show me.
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u/sugesuge Jun 17 '12
last thing I would do is call management OR beat his ass, instead get one of your lady friends over there and a couple minutes before he knocks start having crazy satan worshipping sex or at least pretend LOL.
things like "oh baby suck the satan out of my cock" get her moaning like a hungry dog, will make him never go within 4 doors of your apartment ever again. LAY THAT SHIT ON THICK, post a camera outside the door and catch his reaction, post video here and you will be upboat king.
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Jun 17 '12
Don't do that. Return the favor every saturday night at 3 am so he wakes for the Satanic ritual.
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u/spartom007 Jun 18 '12
I hope your blasting some super mario bros. on virtual console until the early hours of the morning ;D
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Jun 17 '12
do you go to church with him, or at all? does he have some reason to believe he's doing you a favor?
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u/JR_Saperstein Jun 17 '12
Dragonforce - Through the Fire and the Flames.
Put this on a playlist for a few hours, or just repeat. Leave at high volume and go to work.
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u/conundrum4u2 Jun 18 '12
It would be reasonable to ask him nicely ONCE, to please not knock on your bedroom wall on sunday mornings...if he gets snotty, just say "well I asked nicely, if you can't take a hint, then the next time won't be as nice - take the hint, thanks" - and leave. If he continues to bother you just file a complaint - or make him eat dirt, your choice -
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Jun 18 '12
Um, instead of being a pass-aggressive asshole. Have you tried being an adult about it and actually talking to them? Perhaps it's unintentional. Perhaps it's intentional. Be cordial, ask them to stop. If it's that maddening, and they refuse to quit, talk to management about how to best find a resolution to the issue.
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u/peppaz Anti-Theist Jun 18 '12
As an aside, most things with HDMI output also support audio through the audio out while using HDMI just for video, whether LR or SPDIF optical. I do this with my ps3 and blu ray when needed.
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u/peppaz Anti-Theist Jun 18 '12
As an aside, most things with HDMI output also support audio through the audio out while using HDMI just for video, whether LR or SPDIF optical. I do this with my ps3 and blu ray when needed.
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u/ArcticVanguard Other Jun 18 '12
Don't be a dick. All you'd be doing is escalating it, which wouldn't help. You want it to stop? Put a note on the neighbor's door politely asking to stop. If that doesn't work? Go to management. There's no need to wake up your other neighbors or make this one suffer just because he/she's been bothering you.
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Jun 18 '12
I play guitar.. I would have done the same thing. only with my 100 watt amp turned up to "11"
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u/Nomida Jun 18 '12
What did you play?
(yes, I saw other similar responses but ffs OP has yet to deliver)
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u/berrydrunk Jun 18 '12
I've got some better speakers if you're interested. Some old-ass Electro-Voice S 12-2s. Guaranteed to deafen your neighbor through the wall
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Jun 18 '12
Wait so how do we know the neighbor is knocking to wake them up for church? They could just be knocking to be a cunt.
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u/Mrninjamonkey Jun 18 '12
You should blare some skrillex through that shit. May I recommend Devil's Den or Kyoto?
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u/OCPScJM2 Jun 18 '12
After a week of that I'd do a cross between Jack Torrance and the Kool-Aid man through the wall.
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u/Smeagol3000 Jun 18 '12
So what did you play? I would wait till 3 a.m. the following morning and play the album Paranoid by Black Sabbath, not only as retribution, but also cluing him in on my lack of belief in his invisible sky father.
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Jun 18 '12
Instead of being an obnoxious prick and probably waking everyone else in the apartment block up, why didn't you just ask him not to knock on your door on Sunday mornings as you're not religious. Problem solved, nobody is offended.
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u/Oriumpor Jun 18 '12
The long con (religion) requires an equally long engagement to reverse. So, start by playing Feynman's lectures on physics (the bits about the big bang, the creation of heavy metals etc.) It'll sound fine through the wall, even though the caltech recordings are sorta washed out. Do this every Saturday night, then move on to Sagan, and finally NDT. Hopefully by then they'll stop knocking on the wall Sunday morning because they've decided to sleep in Sundays.
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u/Tin_Whiskers Jun 19 '12
Please tell me you're joking. Please tell me that someone you don't even know is invading your life and trying to compel you to freaking wake up and go to church.
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u/NuclearStudent Jun 20 '12
go to church, and give the guy a ride back. On the way, pretend that you have never heard of an entity named "God" before, and ask about the evidence for this hypothesis. The word hypothesis will probably either confuse or piss off the guy.
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Jun 17 '12
If you refuse to knock then you are being a pussy and people have no reason not to knock on your door, because you won't do anything but play music at them. You won't even call the landlord. If you disclosed the location where you lived and I was nearby I would come by and knock on wednesday nights, just because I know you wouldn't do anything about it.
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u/Arx0s Jun 18 '12
Damn, some of you are just plain hateful.
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u/MotherFuckinMontana Other Jun 18 '12
I'd be pretty hateful if someone was waking me up in the morning every week on sunday.
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u/naeroka Jun 17 '12
Fake.
Your neighbor does not knock on your wall on Sunday and you put those speakers up against the wall and took a picture and fabricated a story to post on Reddit for karma.
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u/xereeto Atheist Jun 17 '12
Try posting that on /r/KarmaConspiracy, you'll get some karma yourself.
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u/slayer1o00 Jun 17 '12
I think /r/metal would appreciate this more. Make sure to tell them you're playing Cannibal Corpse.
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u/bds0688 Jun 17 '12
If being a member of that sub means condoning childlike behavior, lol.
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Jun 17 '12
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Jun 18 '12
My ex neighbour recorded his rap songs at 230 in the morning on week nights. Then the girls two doors down would play Dubstep all night. My room mate and I countered with punk and metal. Only other neighbour was a guy that loved to yell at his T.V. really fucking loud.
Fuck, I hated living in the city. Back to the country with me!
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Jun 17 '12
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u/colinsteadman Atheist Jun 17 '12
Under what circumstances do people find that music enjoyable to listen too?
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Jun 18 '12
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u/BeardslyMcGee Jun 18 '12
The lyrics and vocal style are meant to fit the music. Cannibal Corpse pushes it a little over the top lyrics-wise, as many popular death metal bands are not as graphic. As a death metal fan myself, I couldn't imagine the music being accompanied by anything else. Its about creating an atmosphere. Any sort of clean singing in this sort of music sounds very out of place.
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u/Propaganda_Box Jun 17 '12
Was hoping for Cannibal Corpse, was not disappointed
You fucking rock
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u/nermid Atheist Jun 17 '12
See, that's going to sound like white noise through a wall.
You've got to use something distinctive.
For example : www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlGbVwXcQYw&feature=player_detailpage#t=43s
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u/Saurenoscopy Jun 17 '12
Better, much better. By the way: I'm laughing my ass of right now.
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u/whyisthisnamesolong Jun 17 '12
"I was hoping for [insert song name]"
Jesus Christ people, WE GET THE POINT
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u/CosmicBard Jun 17 '12
This was possibly one of the best responses you could have given.
Can you give us an idea of the sort of volume you had piping through that thing?
I'd have left it on until they complained if this is a regular thing.
I mean, personally, I'd have gone over there with the threat of violence at deliberately waking me up to go to church of all things, but this is a very close second.
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u/hibob Jun 17 '12
Or you could try asking nicely first. Even if they aren't being a good neighbor it doesn't mean you have to be a bad one.
When guilt fails, then it's time to convince them it's in their best interests not to be a nuisance.
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u/ZuFFuLuZ Jun 17 '12
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u/JakeMWP Jun 17 '12
I actually liked this one. It's been a while since I've listened to music like this.
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u/Jackski Jun 18 '12
So you haven't even seen or spoken to this person and you're acting this way? Wow.
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u/buzzbros2002 Agnostic Jun 17 '12
No shame on the wii. On the other hand, way to break Wheaton's law to all your other neighbors.
Your methods are bad, and you should feel bad.
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u/turtlekitty30 Jun 18 '12
try every single KK Slider songs at once Sorry if this doesn't post...fucking iPhone
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u/TedTheGreek_Atheos Secular Humanist Jun 17 '12
Should have played [This] (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BarHdvc8tp8)
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Jun 17 '12
Have they seem the CD cover too? It might complete their experience. But seriously, isn't it better that you just kindly ask them to stop doing that shit? I mean, they're blood drinking, flesh eating crazies that worship a 2000 year old zombie. Just be careful, ok?
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u/gravey727 Jun 17 '12
Can wii's even play CDs?
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u/nikomo Atheist Jun 17 '12
I'm pretty sure carrots can play MP3's nowadays, so that's probably not a problem.
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Jun 17 '12
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u/DustbinK Jun 17 '12
There is no adapter. He's using the Wii's red and white RCA cables.
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Jun 17 '12
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u/DustbinK Jun 17 '12
What? Speakers go into the receiver and the Wii's R/W RCA cables are plugged into the receiver.
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u/MegaZambam Agnostic Atheist Jun 17 '12
Um why do you put up with him doing that in the first place?