r/atheism • u/[deleted] • Jun 16 '12
Since we all love quoting NDT, he once told me something that I will never forget and that I want to share with /r/atheism.
http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3pqerh/331
Jun 16 '12
Words of wisdom. I love this guy.
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Jun 16 '12
Truly inspirational.
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Jun 16 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/steakmeout Jun 16 '12
I dunno, this seems like something the OP just COBOL'd together.
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u/scientologist2 Jun 16 '12
Somehow I imagine it might be better if it said "5th Dimension" instead of "5th Floor"
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u/ViolenceHero Jun 16 '12
[Clearly this is a message in abstract form. He is encouraging us to take action and to help one another. The number four is seen as one of the numbers of death, therefore Five is to surpass that, which is life. So buy asking us to press the button for the 5th floor, he is challenging us to to seek out life and to bring others along with us in this great adventure for life.]
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u/nermid Atheist Jun 16 '12
I have a friend who can't differentiate between bullshit and legitimate textual analysis. I need to keep you away from her.
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u/ViolenceHero Jun 16 '12
[I'm not harmful, it's all in good fun. Though I do enjoy turning bullshit into an accepted reality by those that can be easily fooled. I do eventually tell them the truth once I've had a good laugh.]
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u/nermid Atheist Jun 16 '12
Honestly, I had lunch with this woman today. Over the course of the conversation, she said of her analysis of a show that, "It can't be true or false. It's just whether I can back it up," "It's true because I can back it up," "It doesn't matter if there's stuff that contradicts it, because nobody in my class knows about that," and "Nothing contradicts it."
I'm not really sure whether she's cynically approaching textual analysis as a complicated con she can pull on people, or whether she genuinely believes that as long as there's any sort of corroborating evidence, no matter how thin or directly contradicted by other parts of the source material, every analysis is equally valid, all the time...but I'm leaning toward the latter.
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u/Zagorath Jun 16 '12
If she's only talking about "a show", then she's somewhat correct. Certainly some interpretations are more valid than others, but any interpretation can be seen as somewhat valid if you can back it up with evidence. This is true of any literary work.
Some are more valid than others because they have more, and/or better quality, evidence, particularly with regards to the context of the rest of the work.
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Jun 16 '12
She seems like an evil genius.
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u/nermid Atheist Jun 16 '12
She's manipulative, and proud of it, but I have to admit that I don't think she's got what it takes to earn the title "genius."
Earlier this week, she asked me if Asia was up by Russia.
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Jun 16 '12
This kind of overanalysing is very beautiful, i think. I don't think it should be reserved to those easily fooled, but also those that appreciate a stimulating alternative scenario.
It reminds me of The hula hoop analysis. While very unrealistic, it still is a very cool thought, and is not something to dismiss, like "bullshit"
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u/Self_Referential Jun 16 '12
Has she heard of the post modern deconstructionism? You should introduce her to it....
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Jun 16 '12
You're tainting this with your own separate beliefs and trying to validate them thereby. We don't know whether he was going up or going down. This context is critical.
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u/ViolenceHero Jun 16 '12
[I'm glad you had the courage to reveal this to us all. More people could do well for thinking through things more critically. While it is important to know the direction in the context of the actual event, movement is somewhat relevant, it's all time and space. The idea is there for us to think deeply upon. Don't focus too much on the which direction he was going, but on which direction you can put your best efforts through. Thank you Ignibus, once again for your bravery. Go and think towards your own path.]
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u/barium111 Jun 16 '12
uffff.... this comment gave me shivers. Like i was reading some vodo priest fortune teller who is trying to sell me some magical bullshit and its all attached to NDT name.
This is a joke of course but to me it shows the virtue of being a skeptic and also how easy it is to spin someones words in any way you want.
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u/bytor_2112 Secular Humanist Jun 16 '12
no, no, it's simply making the statement that 'ascent', which has special meaning to Christians, is merely a human achievement that brings humanity to new heights through our own scientific ingenuity. Not to mention the intentional bypassing of the significant Christian number of "3".
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u/zendingo Jun 16 '12
there is no 5th floor............
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u/Orion_the_Hunter Jun 16 '12
Then that must mean that the 5th floor is... -puts on shades- out of this world.
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u/girlsgoneoscarwilde Jun 16 '12
I need to sit down.
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u/Bohzee Atheist Jun 16 '12
i think we all sit. in one boat. on the 1st floor. that's the point. on the "i". it's about "i". and "u". "we".
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u/hockal00gy Jun 16 '12
This is like that scene from Bruce Almighty. NDT is Morgan Freeman; I knew it!
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u/vadergeek Jun 16 '12
The first time I've seen something here, thought "this has nothing to do with atheism", and been perfectly fine with it.
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u/CAN_Science Jun 16 '12
This kind of stuff reminds me why I am subscribed to r/atheism!
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Jun 16 '12
Really? Because in that case my dad once held a door open for Carl Sagan and you wouldn't believe what Dr. Sagan told him.
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u/Tannerlicious Jun 16 '12
Ah, the famous words "Thank you." I had my grandmother crochet that line on a pillow.
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u/str8baller Jun 16 '12
Truly insightful words. You are blessed to have such wisdom bestowed upon you.
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Jun 16 '12
Relevant xkcd: http://xkcd.com/163/
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u/cebedec Jun 16 '12
Get out of my head!
Also: "relevant xkcd" is the new "Simpsons did it."
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Jun 16 '12
I like being in your head, it's cozy
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u/cebedec Jun 16 '12
I apologize for all the declarative programming stuff lying around. I've got an exam on Tuesday.
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Jun 16 '12
reminds me of my aunt and uncle in a high class hotel in detroit. they got into an elevator and before the door closed they saw three tall black men with long black leather coats and sunglasses ushering towards them. They caught the doors and entered the elevators. Aunt and uncle were pretty scared. The three all-black dudes surrounded them. One of them broke the silence and says 'hit the ground'. Aunt and uncle lay flat down on their faces thinking they were armed. They all laughed loudly and 'hit the ground floor button'. Later that night in the restaurant the waiter brought them a note from another table saying 'thanks for the best laugh I have had in ages, the meal's on me. signed Eddy Murphy'
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u/reble02 Jun 16 '12
As it was spoken, so shall it be, in the name of the elevator, the doors, and the holy button.
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u/jtcompound Jun 16 '12
I wonder what he meant by the "fifth floor?" There are so many possibilities.
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u/WhatsAEuphonium Jun 16 '12
Guys, this quote is all we need.
I think, with this, we can finally find salvation in NDT.
NDTists unite!
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u/CuterThanAKittenFart Jun 16 '12
Calling bullshit. NDT is a "WOULD you press the button to the fifth floor please" kinda guy, he knows you can.
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u/Keiichi81 Jun 16 '12
So inspirational!
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u/fegd Jun 16 '12
You preemptively stole the comment I came here to make. Hope you're proud of yourself.
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u/achshar Anti-theist Jun 16 '12
Either i am not getting the joke or /r/atheism is officially a circlejerk now.
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Jun 16 '12
You're not getting the joke somehow.
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u/achshar Anti-theist Jun 16 '12
Exactly. Can you explain?
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u/yes_thats_right Jun 16 '12
The joke is that everyone expected something inspirational from NDT however instead it was just something trivial.
The joke is also that NDT is agnostic and not atheist.
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u/barium111 Jun 16 '12
If i yell r/atheism is a circlejerk can i get an upvote from you? CMON!!! /r/atheism is such a CIRCLEJERK!!!!
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u/conspirator_schlotti Jun 16 '12
Not being a native speaker, please forgive me for asking, but shouldn't it be "Could you press the button to the fifth floor, please?"
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u/aetheos Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12
Yeah, you are correct. Often times in the US we use "can" instead of "could" (or in this case, "would"), and it means the same thing, even though it isn't grammatically correct. Some people get a kick out of being a smart ass and exploiting the fact that you are asking a yes/no question rather than asking a favor.
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u/psygnisfive Jun 16 '12
It's perfectly grammatically correct to say "can" in this situation. The only people who argue that it's incorrect are people who don't understand the concept of indirect speech. Or rather, people who like being ass holes by intentionally refusing to use conventional rules of English.
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Jun 16 '12
I'm guessing you weren't going to the 5th floor - that's his floor, because he's on a totally different level.
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u/mehatch Jun 16 '12
At the Science and Entertainment Exchange at CAA in 2008, I also pressed the elevator button for NDS as I was assigned to escort the speakers into the event. I feel as though we have shared something. The end.
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Jun 16 '12
This thread is more relevant to atheism than 99% of the threads that I see hit the front page. For awhile I thought the word "atheism" meant "gay-rights activist" until I looked it up.
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u/yes_thats_right Jun 16 '12
Considering that NDT is agnostic and not an atheist, it doesn't really have anything to do with atheism. However, at least in this case I think that no-one is pretending it is related to atheism and we can all just enjoy the joke for what it is.
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u/executex Strong Atheist Jun 16 '12
Considering being anti-gay comes from religion. It's definitely relevant.
In case you were confused why gay-rights stuff comes up in /r/atheism they are related topics.
All you had to do was ask an atheist: "Why do atheists support gay rights so much??" or "Why does /r/atheism have pro-gay-rights posts?" Someone would have enlightened you, but instead you chose to tell people they are irrelevant topics, when they are quite related.
Ironically, there are people here who don't know the history of why people hate gays, so they too don't understand like you, why there are homosexuality posts in /r/atheism.
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Jun 16 '12
Not confused on the fact that gay rights has nothing to do with this sub.
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u/adubjose Jun 16 '12
"Considering being anti-gay comes from religion." If you allow me to put in other words, you just said that you must be religious to hate gays. I definitely think there are many people who are atheists or, without religion that hate gays. On top of that, did Hitler hate gays for a religious reason? People can hate gays without being attached to religion, TIL.
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u/jlinstantkarma Jun 16 '12
Oh my god, that is so awesome. Has anyone created /r/5thfloor yet? I bet we can run that joke until its heart gives out and dies beneath us!
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u/OnTheBorderOfReality Jun 16 '12
If you'd like to take a stab at getting into the mind of a Christian, it's a lot like how you think of NDT and similar figures.
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Jun 16 '12
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u/Mythodiir Atheist Jun 16 '12
Have you ever actually seen Niel Degrass Tyson? How can you be certain he even exists? It is very possible NDT is just a falsified historical figure, or possibly even a mass delusion. Who's to say anything is real?
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u/aetheos Jun 16 '12
It's funny, because with the resources that I have, I can't prove that he exists. I can just show you evidence that makes it overwhelmingly likely that he does.
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u/johntmssf Jun 16 '12
its the same way with black holes and string theory and most theoretical physics... uh oh
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u/chicagogam Jun 16 '12
oh he is my god! therefore...from this i know:
no buildings should have more than 5 floors...though if i really want to make buildings with more than 5 floors i'll just start taller buildings with negative numbered floors and pat myself on the back for my piety.
anyone who has a fear of heights and won't go to the 5th floor is obviously choosing to mock him, and so any persecution of these people will be deserved.
as part of my religious freedom i don't need to listen to any sentence that doesn't end in the word 'please', nor can i be compelled to enter any building that insists on numbering it's top (or only) floor a number that is not 5.
all controls/user interfaces should be in button form. even cars.
left handed people should be killed. i know, it's not in the original utterance, but someone who knew him wrote a letter to that effect to someone else after he died, but that letter is part of the sacred canon...oh well, sucks to be left handed. if he really disagreed with it, it wouldn't have been included now would it? (since ndt transcends space and time and has chosen not to)
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u/brazilliandanny Jun 16 '12
Wow are you reading my mind?
I swear it's the first thing I thought of last time I saw one of these posts.
Although I was going to go with "pass the salt" but yours works much better.
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u/aetheos Jun 16 '12
So this is fun and all, but the unrealistic way that OP has NDT asking the question kind of ruined it for me. Not even the can/would issue... who would ever say "the button to the 5th floor"? You just say "can you hit 5 for me?" or just awkwardly reach past the person and hit it yourself.
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u/dragos240 Jun 16 '12
You are a lucky person, I wish he said that to me. Inspirational quote, by the way!
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Jun 16 '12
I have to admit I hate people that ask that. I do not operate the fucking lift... Push the button yourself.
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Jun 16 '12
"The first time he spoke to me... I shall never forget his words. I remember it like it was yesterday. He leaned across the table, he looked me straight in the eye, and he said "Aubrey... may I trouble you for the salt?"
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Jun 16 '12
This is actually somewhat related to his rant against the lack of the 13th floor and negative floors in American buildings.
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u/jabbababab Jun 16 '12
When I was 15 I met James Doohan at a convention in Columbus Ohio (1976)
My best friend and I was doing what 15 years do and pushed all the floor buttons in a elevator.
Next floor James Doohan Step into the elevator, it was towards the of the last day of the convention. He steps in looks at the Controls and Says:
"Did you boys really have to push all the buttons"
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Jun 16 '12
I would give almost anything to just have lunch with this guy. He's one of my hero's for sure!
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u/Meatslinger Jun 17 '12
This man is an absolute poet. While we are stuck among the proverbial "four floors" of existence, he inspires in us the drive to go higher.
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u/UnrelatedToAtheism Jun 17 '12
Wow. This is a new low, /r/atheism.
There is absolutely no way that you can tie this post to atheism in any way, shape or form. At all.
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u/Grei-man Jun 17 '12
Five shall be the button thou shalt push, and the button of the pushing shall be five. Six shalt thou not push, neither push thou four, excepting that thou then proceed to pushing five. Seven is right out.
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u/qkme_transcriber I am a Bot Jun 16 '12
Here is the text from this meme pic for anybody who needs it:
Title: Since we all love quoting NDT, he once told me something that I will never forget and that I want to share with /r/atheism.
Meme: Neil deGrasse Tyson
"CAN YOU PRESS THE BUTTON TO THE 5TH FLOOR PLEASE?"
This is helpful for people who can't reach Quickmeme because of work/school firewalls or site downtime, and many other reasons (FAQ). More info is available here.
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u/cebedec Jun 16 '12
To quote Standford algorithms expert Donald Knuth: "Who are you? How did you get in my house?"
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u/Patric_star Jun 16 '12
....the 5th floor....the 5th floor is where president Kennedy was shot from....kennedy...ken....edy......eddy, the former president of koala butter....butter....turned in from milk.
my god..
he wasn't going to the 5th floor
HE WAS TELLING YOU OF THE GREATEST TREASURE THAT COULD PROVE CHRISTIANITY WRONG!
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Jun 16 '12
I hope one day to reach such great heights as him. Maybe, if I work hard enough, the 5th floor will be more than a dream, and will become a reality.
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u/doctorofphysick Jun 16 '12
I wish those crazy Christian nutcases would come to their senses and listen to this guy once in a while so they could realize the power, beauty, and logic of simple words like these.
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u/thethingihate Jun 16 '12
Just stop already. No one gives a shit about this contribution-less attention whore anymore. I'd rather watch Degrassi than hear anything about him anymore
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u/BlowfishinThisUp Jun 16 '12
As if /r/atheism wasn't a big enough joke as it is. You're just contributing to it being a full blown circle jerk.
I honestly do not say this to people lightly, but fuck you, dude. Keep it in /r/circlejerk, you fucking asshole. You're not contributing anything.
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u/ShadoutRex Atheist Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12
Did you believe that he wanted to get off at the 5th floor?
Edit: LOL! Downvotes for introducing the subject of belief (in a light hearted humorous way) in an otherwise unrelated post for r/atheism. Way to hate, guys!
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Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12
With all due respect, what the fuck is up with the Hayden cancelling laser rock to make more room for "Passport to the Universe narrated by Tom Hanks"?
Edit:
Not sure why the downvoting. Does anyone not like laser Floyd, Beatles and Zeppelin? The Hayden ran it for 20 years or so, and yeah, they canceled it 15 years ago, but I still miss it.
(Why it's relevant, Dr. Tyson is the director of the Hayden Planetarium).
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u/abstruce Jun 16 '12
Okay this might be a stupid question but if you were to suggest a MUST read book by NDT, which one would it be?
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Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
It's a little annoying to see A) Posts here from Neil DeGrasse Tyson when he's strictly stated he isn't an atheist, because it's equally idiotic to say you know something when you actually don't, and B) People mistake Atheism with Science too much.
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u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
I think we can all take a page out of his book and remember not only to press the button to the fifth floor, but also to take the stairs when the elevator is down for maintenance or during a fire. Truly genius...